The Eyes

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The Eyes
Topic Started: Oct 11 2009, 12:30 AM (216 Views)
redsrock	Oct 11 2009, 12:30 AM Post #1
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	I've been wanting to experiment with horror, so here I am. This thing will be short, no more than thirty pages (and probably much less). I'll post it in chapters just for you all's sake. Expect no more than 4 chapters. This story will likely fail, but that's okay. Experiments are meant to fail the first few times, right? * * * Unlike her best friend, the calls of the wild are not so loud for Natalia Harrison. She is too busy wrapped up in her own wilderness, her mind blocking out anything and everything. Jamie’s complaining has numbed her brain. Not even her friend’s cries snap her back into reality. It takes a physical force to do that. “Nat, are you even listening to me?” Andrea Kramer yells, shoving Natalia’s shoulder. She looks at Andrea, startled. Her daydreams are more like comas. “Sorry. I was just…” “Off in your own little world?” Andrea finishes for her, smiling. “How can you with all this damn noise?” And for the first time Natalia notices the sounds. Their screeches bite at Natalia’s eardrums, and even she wonders how she had blocked them out for so long. “No idea. I guess Jamie’s whining is more piercing than the birds. Sad, huh?” “Sad that the only thing your boyfriend does is complain, or sad that you can’t even hear your best friend speak to you a foot away?” “Both, I guess. It’s just I… well you know what, Andrea. I just thought this weekend would’ve been better. He was so happy last week when I asked him if we could go camping. He said yes almost as soon as I asked, said he’d never been before. It’s like a complete mood shift.” “I guess he thought camping was easy. I like camping. You like camping. But Jamie and Marc don’t like it. Marc’s just a lazy ass and Jamie [censored]es like a girl.” They both laugh, loud enough to where some of the birds in the trees take off into the sky. “Can I ask you something?” Andrea asks. “Shoot.” “Why do you even date him? I mean, you seem so depressed when you’re around him.” Natalia stays silent for a few seconds. It’s hard to put what she believes into words. Partially because she’s afraid it won’t make sense and she’ll look like a fool. In ways it doesn’t make sense, but it’s more than that. In some ways she doesn’t quite believe it herself, but it keeps her going. In the end that’s all that matters to her. Temporary relief. “It’s hard to explain,” she says, playing with her ginger bangs that fall over her eyes more often than she’d like. “After mom died a couple of years ago, he called me up on the phone to ask if I was alright. Do you remember me calling you that night to tell you?” “Yep, I sure do. You were bawling your eyes out. He was such a sweet guy back then.” “He was! And that’s what I was attracted to. His sweet, sincere attitude. And it wasn’t fake either. He really did mean what he said. I just… I don’t know. I hadn’t dated many boys before him, and the ones I did never worked out. We’d last for a couple of weeks and then break up. But when I started dating Jamie it was different. I felt like we really were meant to be with each other.” “And now you don’t?” “Well, not exactly. I still love him, but… I just think sometimes he’s the one not happy. Like… like maybe it’s something I’m doing wrong? I don’t know. He just seems to be in a bad mood all the time.” “Maybe it’s because all he does is drink nowadays. Ever think of that?” Don’t remind me, Natalia thinks. The drinking hadn’t started but about a half a year ago, but it seems like it’s been forever. Nothing but parties, drinking and getting stoned. Natalia doesn’t want any part of that kind of life. Never has. “People get like that, you know,” Andrea continues. “That drink so much that when they’re not drinking they’re in [censored]ty moods. Sometimes Marc’s like that. It’s so annoying. I mean, I drink a lot too, but at least I’m not a [censored] about it, you know?” What a hypocrite, Natalia thinks. You party just as much as they do. You have no right to complain. “At least Marc isn’t a jerk to you, though.” “Yeah, but he doesn’t do anything either. He hasn’t done one thing since we got here. Other than drinking and smoking, but he does that all the time anyway.” As if on cue, Andrea pulls out a box of Marlboro’s and lights one up. As she does her hypocrisy rises like the smoke from the cigarette on her lips. She blows the smoke and stares at her cigarette as if it’s made of gold, just as most smokers do for some reason. Natalia scoots to the right on the log they’re sitting on. Cigarette smoke gives her headaches, but she doesn’t complain. Andrea’s been put into a sour mood as well. No sense in taking away the relief, even if it was killing her. But Andrea sees the way Natalia face scrunches up, so she throws the cigarette butt on the ground and stomps it with her foot. “Sorry, Nat, I forgot you hate this stuff.” “It’s alright, I know you’re in a bad mood too. Go ahead, I don’t care.” “Shut up, girl. Yes you do. Besides, I already smoked this morning. I gotta stop.” “You better stomp that out better than that,” a voice says behind them. Jamie and Marc are back from gathering firewood. “What would Yogi say if you started a forest fire?” “Shut up, Jaime,” Andrea says. Though she’s never told Natalia, she could live without Jamie. Doesn’t matter, though. Natalia knows. It’s quite obvious. “And it’s Smokey the Bear, dumbass. Not Yogi.” “Yogi, Smokey… who the [censored] cares? Anyway, here’s the firewood,” he says, throwing it down to the ground by the stools around the fire. “Hope you girls are happy, too. I sprained my goddamn ankle.” “Probably as drunk as a [censored]ing skunk,” Andrea says, just loud enough for Jamie to hear. “Nah, not yet. Soon, though. Hey, babe,” he says to Natalia. Natalia’s eyes and ears perk up. He called her babe. A good sign on an otherwise bad day. “Yeah?” “We got more beer, right? Didn’t I pack more than two before leaving Friday?” And now her eyes and ears droop back down to their old depressive state. More drinking for Jamie. Wonderful. “Yeah… should be one more I guess.” “[censored]in awesome!” he yells. “Yo, Marc, you want one right?” Marc, already lying down in his tent with the flap open, yells back, “Hell yeah. We getting drunk tonight ain’t we, Jamie?” “When are you two not drunk?” Andrea asks, rolling her eyes. Before Jamie or Marc can shoot back, a car pulls up from the dirt path leading outside their tiny camping ground. It’s a tan SUV with the words “Green Acres Patrol” on its sides, a white line underneath. It’s the park ranger, David Metcalfe. Or, as Jamie likes to call him, Ranger Bob. Ranger Bob rolls the window down and yells from the path (no more than ten yards away), “Ya’ll still doin alright?” “Yes, we’re fine. Thank you,” Natalia says. Ranger Bob tips his hat and smoothes out his thick brown mustache. “Good to hear. Now I won’t be back to check on you today, but just remember there’s some folks just on the north side of the Lake. If you need them just pay them a visit. They’re fine people. Real fine. Oh, and you have my number, right?” Natalia nods. “Good,” he winks, and Jamie glares. “Don’t be afraid to give the offices a holler if somethin happens. Either Dewey or myself’ll answer. And don’t you be forgettin about that Lake. Water’s feelin good today. Took a swim myself this mornin.” With a final wave he drives off. “I hate that fat mother[censored]er,” Jamie says after he leaves. “Ranger Bob sure likes the way you look, babe.” “You’re such an [censored],” Andrea says. “He seems like a nice guy. And he wasn’t even staring at Nat. You’re just jealous,” she finishes, smiling. “No, he was staring alright. Staring right at her tits. I oughta give Ranger Bob a lesson in manners. Shouldn’t I, Marc?” “Sure,” he answers, not really paying much attention to anything. He’s smoking a cigarette that isn’t just a cigarette. The smell of that is obvious, but he waited until Ranger Bob left before lighting up. “So how about that lake?” Natalia says. “Let’s go up there, Jamie. Please? We can have a little picnic or something, play some games. This is our last night and we haven’t done much.” “That’s because we’re [censored]ing camping, babe. What the hell is there to do? Can’t believe we’re even out here. Cardinals are playing the Cubs and I’m missing it for this [censored].” God, there he goes. she thinks. Andrea reads the pain on her face and smiles. “Jamie, shut the hell up. Do you wanna go to the lake or not?” “[censored], I don’t know. That’s a good walk. And Ranger Bob says we ain’t supposed to move the RV once it’s parked” he says in a sarcastic tone. “We can get drunk,” she adds. “You’re gonna get drunk anyway, right? Might as well get drunk while having fun.” She plays to his own weaknesses, even though they’re hers as well. “Good point. Come on, Marc. Help me carry the cooler. We’re goin to the lake.” Marc, who had been entranced in his daily pot-smoking, got excited. “Hell ya! It’s too [censored]in hot out here! I need some water anyway!” As the boys start packing their beer (and plenty of food as well), Natalia gives Andrea a stern look. “What?” Andrea asks. “I don’t think beer and swimming go in the same sentence, do you?” Andrea rolls her eyes. “Come on, girl. Chill out! You’re so tense all the time because you never want to get down and party! Let’s just have some fun, tonight. Alright?” “Fun… ya,” Natalia says, “getting drunk and acting like an idiot is so much fun.” “See, there you go. Just… just go with the flow. And we won’t let them swim if they get drunk.” “But you’ll be getting drunk yourself. Don’t pretend you won’t.” Andrea thinks about this for a couple of seconds, then laughs. “Ya, you’re right. And if I get my way, I’m getting you drunk as well. First time for everything, right?” They both laugh, but only one’s is real. Natalia never was a “party girl” like Andrea. Andrea was the popular cheerleader, Natalia the quiet newspaper editor. Andrea the wild beer drinker, Natalia the calm tea drinker. But that’s what Natalia loved about Andrea the most. They were both so different, yet so close. It’s always been this way. This whole camping thing was a bad idea she thinks. But maybe she’s right. Maybe I do need to lighten up. Maybe it’s not Jamie that’s the problem. Maybe it’s me. I guess a couple of drinks won’t hurt. Maybe doing a little bit of partying will do me some good. She gets up to help with the packing, and the group of four leave for the lake just minutes later.



Septim741	Oct 11 2009, 12:27 PM Post #2
Anglophile Posts: 811 Group: Member Member #307 Joined: April 1, 2008	Andrea Kramer.... I swear somebody by that name goes to my school. :\| Hmm she's not in the yearbook... I thought the first few sentences made for a kinda generic beginning. Wasn't very interesting. The tense you used was captivating though. At first I thought it was really odd, but it fit. It made the first couple sentences sound like a narrator introducing an episode of the twilight zone. At least, that's what I imagined. If you intended that, great job! I had to reread "ginger bangs" to make sure I wasn't reading a fantasy story about a prostitute... I like the word ginger to describe her hair, but maybe reword this... (P.S. I coulda sworn I saw the word "tits" on the way back up to where I left off here... Scary. Seems like the horror element is really setting in.) "They’re fine people. Real fine." ...I see where this is going. ZOMG! "tits"! Overall, I liked it. The way you've set up the characters is nice. There's a huge tension in the air, and I'm so depressed about how Jamie's turned out. You have the basis for a great story here. Just don't screw it up.
	Goodbye TESFU Grand Ayleid Home 1.3 :: Oblivion GC Theme


redsrock	Oct 11 2009, 12:38 PM Post #3
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	I don't know. I'm disappointed with it. Even after all the editing I just don't think it's captivating enough. Thanks for reading.



Septim741	Oct 11 2009, 12:41 PM Post #4
Anglophile Posts: 811 Group: Member Member #307 Joined: April 1, 2008	Np it was nice. Pleeease continue!
	Goodbye TESFU Grand Ayleid Home 1.3 :: Oblivion GC Theme


vanir90210	Oct 11 2009, 05:40 PM Post #5
Budding Lyricist Posts: 2,779 Group: Member Member #394 Joined: May 19, 2008	I'm looking forward to the rest. The characters sound like some people I know, and I really want to see what the horror is that they go through.
	Spoiler: click to toggle "I look at the eyes, straight to the soul doorway" Redsrock Dammit, Vanir...... I had an awesome daydream of me and Anne Hathaway on a private island. And then in the daydream you came in and murdered her, then asking for my hand in marriage.


redsrock	Oct 11 2009, 05:41 PM Post #6
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	vanir90210 Oct 11 2009, 05:40 PM The characters sound like some people I know. I feel sorry for you, then. Thanks for reading, dawg.



ninja_lord666	Oct 22 2009, 08:42 PM Post #7
Level 21 Wizard Posts: 1,132 Group: Member Member #235 Joined: February 5, 2008	So, when is the next chapter coming up? I'm just dying to read more. You did a great job in getting us emotionally involved with Natalia. I really hope that Jamie gets what's coming to him. I also can't wait until you start mixing in the horror element. Will it be natural or supernatural? Will it be physical or more psychological? Right now, my money's on some sort of swamp monster in the lake, but I could be wrong.



redsrock	Oct 22 2009, 08:44 PM Post #8
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	I have it all planned out (finally figured it out this morning post-blood vomiting), but I won't say. And thanks for reading, Ninja. It's good to have you back it the writing forum. Chapter won't come for a while, though. School is being tough on me right now.



Septim741	Oct 22 2009, 08:47 PM Post #9
Anglophile Posts: 811 Group: Member Member #307 Joined: April 1, 2008	My money's on the folks up in the house down the lakeside.
	Goodbye TESFU Grand Ayleid Home 1.3 :: Oblivion GC Theme


redsrock	Oct 22 2009, 08:49 PM Post #10
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	I still feel uncomfortable about using curse words.



ninja_lord666	Oct 22 2009, 08:51 PM Post #11
Level 21 Wizard Posts: 1,132 Group: Member Member #235 Joined: February 5, 2008	Well, actually, I forgot about the title..."The Eyes" That definitely sounds psychological. I could see the four of them haunted by what appear to be disembodied eyes hiding in shadow, staring at them. Then, they start to mysteriously one by one until only Natalia is left (since she's the main character). Then, it could either end with her escaping to safety, but scared, or ending in a more Lovecraftian way were they all die. Ooooh, I can't wait! Also, "Jamie [censored]es like a girl." What is that? I'm confused. What does Jamie do like a girl? I can't think of anything that wouldn't be completely random... Edited by ninja_lord666, Oct 22 2009, 08:53 PM.



redsrock	Oct 22 2009, 08:58 PM Post #12
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	ninja_lord666 Oct 22 2009, 08:51 PM Also, "Jamie [censored]es like a girl." What is that? I'm confused. What does Jamie do like a girl? I can't think of anything that wouldn't be completely random... He biotches like a girl.



ninja_lord666	Oct 22 2009, 09:21 PM Post #13
Level 21 Wizard Posts: 1,132 Group: Member Member #235 Joined: February 5, 2008	Ah, yeah, that works. I was thinking maybe $hits, but that's just ridiculous. lol



redsrock	Oct 22 2009, 09:32 PM Post #14
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	hahaha! That is pretty funny to imagine, though.



vanir90210	Oct 22 2009, 09:40 PM Post #15
Budding Lyricist Posts: 2,779 Group: Member Member #394 Joined: May 19, 2008	What, like he just sits there and does nothing, looking all bored?
	Spoiler: click to toggle "I look at the eyes, straight to the soul doorway" Redsrock Dammit, Vanir...... I had an awesome daydream of me and Anne Hathaway on a private island. And then in the daydream you came in and murdered her, then asking for my hand in marriage.


redsrock	Oct 29 2009, 07:15 PM Post #16
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	I would have implemented the horror aspects this chapter, but it didn't fit. I think I find a nice stopping point, and I think I do a fairly good job of developing the characters further (at least I hope so). You'll get your horror next chapter, which will be a long one I believe (as well as the last). * * * 2 They walk in twos along the dirt path between the trees; Marc and Andrea in front, Jamie and Natalia twenty yards behind them. Jamie slips his hand into the back pocket of Natalia’s jeans, squeezing what flesh is there. “Easy there. Let’s not be like them,” Natalia says, motioning towards Marc and Andrea. “Why ain’t we like that?” Natalia winces as she looks at Marc and Andrea kiss. Tongue action, sucking noises. To her, Jamie’s question is a no-brainer. “Because it’s disgusting. I’m not a wh-… I’m not like that, Jamie. There are places called rooms, you know.” Jamie rolls his eyes and takes his hand away from her pocket. “Damn, babe… what’s wrong with you lately?” “Huh?” “You’ve been so tense lately. You can’t take a joke, you keep complaining about [censored]. It’s really startin to piss me off.” Me complaining? Me complaining? “No, no, no… I’m not the one that’s been complaining, Jamie. That’s you.” “Me?” “Yes, you. Ever since we got here you’ve done nothing but complain.” “That’s because you keep telling me what to [censored]in do!” Marc and Andrea quit their smooching and turn around. All four have stopped walking. “No I haven’t!” “Yes you have, dammit! You don’t even [censored]in realize it, do you? [censored], Nat… quit bein such a [censored]in [censored] to me! I bring you out here and all you do is boss me around, and then you act like you don’t know what I’m [censored]in talkin about!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I haven’t even bossed you around!” Tears are coming down her cheeks, and fast. Marc tries to lead Jamie away while Andrea does the same with Natalia. “Come on, Nat, just walk with me. Let the boys walk ahead of us. Jamie’s just being a dick again. Let him cool off.” “But I d-didn’t do anything!” Natalia says. “I know, I know. Just calm down, Nat. It’s alright.” A half an hour later Marc and Jamie are throwing football. They’re in the lake, wearing nothing except their swimming trunks. “You feeling alright, Nat?” Andrea is sitting on the picnic blanket. Several bags of opened chips and bowls of fruit are placed around them. Natalia sits down on the wide drink cooler beside the blanket, a half-eaten pear in her hand. “Yes, it’s no big deal.” Andrea narrows her eyes and bites into her peanut-butter sandwich. “I don ba-weeve ou,” she says in between bites. “You don’t have to. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay.” Natalia is visibly shaken, but she doesn’t want anyone to know. Even if it’s quite obvious by her body and facial expression, she thinks that if she pretends nothing is wrong then nothing is wrong. Andrea swallows the last bit of her sandwich and walks over to sit down next to Natalia. “Actually, I do have to worry. I’m your friend.” Natalia gives her a smile. It’s a fake one, of course, but she is glad to have such a good friend in Andrea. Hypocrite or not, she’s the best friend Natalia could ever ask for “Thanks, Andrea. You’re a good friend. I can always talk to you about anything.” “Well yeah, that’s what friends are for. Don’t worry about Jamie. He’s just a sarcastic dickhead. I don’t care if he’s your boyfriend. He’s a prick, Nat. A class-A prick. You’d do well to dump his ass when we get home. But that’s none of my business, so I won’t say anything else about it. Just try to enjoy these last couple of days, alright? For me?” Something hits Andrea on the side of the head and both girls scream. They look down at the ground to see a wet, orange Nerf football. “Dammit, Marc!” Andrea yells, getting up and running into the lake after her boyfriend (she is already dressed in her two-piece bathing suit. A little too revealing, in Natalia’s opinion). Natalia watches and laughs, but she also thinks about what Andrea told her. He’s a prick, Nat. A class-A prick. You’d do well to dump his ass when we get home. The problem, though, is Natalia doesn’t agree. After thinking about what Jamie said to her back in the forest, she starts to wonder if what he said was true. Is she bossy? She doesn’t remember being so, but if she doesn’t realize she’s being bossy then of course she wouldn’t think so. “Maybe he’s right,” she whispers. “Who’s right?” Startled, she almost falls off of the cooler. Jamie is behind her, drying off with a Chicago Cubs towel. “Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud.” “I love it when you do that,” he says, tossing the towel aside and taking a seat next to Natalia. “It’s cute.” See, Andrea, this is why I love him. He’s such a sweetheart when he wants to be. Even though he sits right beside her she feels as if they’re miles apart. Perhaps in some ways they are. “Listen, babe,” Jamie begins, putting an arm around her neck. “I’m sorry for earlier.” No answer on Natalia’s part. “Okay?” “Okay.” Jamie sits and looks at her for a few seconds. She is staring off into the forest opposite of him. Once he’s sure he’s being ignored he gets up to leave, but then he finds Natalia grabbing for his hand. “Please, Jamie… sit down.” He does just that and finally she looks back at him. “I’m sorry too. I’ve been thinking.” “Babe, you don’t have to do this. We can work it out. I promise.” Natalia gives him a bewildered look as she flicks back her blonde hair. “What are you talking about?” “You’re about to tell me we need some time off, right? I can hear in your tone.” Natalia laughs. Then she leans in and pecks Jamie on the lips. “No, honey. That’s not what I was going to say at all.” She can see the fear leave her boyfriend’s face. This makes her even sadder. He really does love her, yet apparently she brings him pain. “I don’t know. It’s just all this arguing… I know it has to be getting to you. I’ll try harder, babe. Promise.” “No, Jamie. It’s not you. Well, maybe part of it is. I really don’t know. But, what I can tell you is that I need to try harder too. I need to lighten up, have some fun. You know, what you told me in the forest must be true. You know why?” “Why?” “Because Andrea told me the same thing earlier this morning. She’s my best friend and problem the most honest person I’ve ever met. So I need to try harder than anyone else, I think. I’m sorry, honey.” This time it is Jamie who initiates the kissing. He brings her head and rests it against his shoulder. And with such a gentle touch. Whatever bad things that may have happened that day are gone. Apologies have been exchanged and Natalia is in love again. “Don’t worry, babe. Nobody’s perfect, and that counts for you and me too.” “Guys, I’m getting bored now,” Andrea whines. A warm fire blazes in between two wooden logs. Jamie and Natalia sit cuddled close together on one. Marc and Andrea the other. Both couples are holding hands. The day is late and the moon hovers above them on a hot, cloudless night. They’ve done all the eating they could ever imagine doing. Marc and Jamie have done enough swimming and football throwing. Natalia and Andrea have done enough sun-bathing. There doesn’t seem to be anything else to do but walk back to their camp. Then Marc comes up with an idea. “I know! Let’s play strip charades!” Andreas rolls her eyes and shoves her boyfriend. “You’re such a guy.” “What is strip charades?” Natalia asks. Marc laughs and tilts his head sideways. “Well, Nat, let’s put two and two together. ‘Strip’ and ‘charades.’” “Oh,” she responds, not liking the answer. “You mean actually stripping? Here out in the opening?” “Yeah! It’ll be fun! And [censored], it ain’t like anyone’ll see us! Those people from the other camp haven’t been here all day. Plus it’s pitch black. What about you, Andrea? You down?” Andrea sighs and throws down her cigarette, smashing it with her sandal. “Sure, why not. I’m about drunk anyway so who gives a [censored].” “Good. What about you, Jamie?” Jamie looks at Natalia, who is clearly uncomfortable. “What about you, babe?” “I think I’ll sit this one out and watch.” “Ah, that’s bull[censored]!” Marc says. “We all gotta play!” “No, she doesn’t have to play if she doesn’t want to. It is fun, though, babe. Mind if I play?” “Of course not.” “You sure?” “Yeah, go ahead. I really don’t care. Doesn’t affect me. You might make Andrea jealous, though.” Everyone laughs. “Hell, he might make me jealous,” Marc shouts, and everybody laughs even harder. Edited by redsrock, Oct 29 2009, 07:19 PM.



vanir90210	Oct 29 2009, 07:31 PM Post #17
Budding Lyricist Posts: 2,779 Group: Member Member #394 Joined: May 19, 2008	Interesting. Definitely like some people I know... Two spelling errors that stood out to me. Well, not really spelling, just wrong words. Quote: She’s my best friend and problem the most honest person I’ve ever met. Problem should be probably Quote: “You mean actually stripping? Here out in the opening?” Opening->open Other than that, I can't find any errors. I like how it's going. Keep 'er up. Edited by vanir90210, Oct 29 2009, 07:31 PM.
	Spoiler: click to toggle "I look at the eyes, straight to the soul doorway" Redsrock Dammit, Vanir...... I had an awesome daydream of me and Anne Hathaway on a private island. And then in the daydream you came in and murdered her, then asking for my hand in marriage.


redsrock	Oct 29 2009, 07:32 PM Post #18
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	Gracias, senor V2.



ninja_lord666	Oct 29 2009, 07:39 PM Post #19
Level 21 Wizard Posts: 1,132 Group: Member Member #235 Joined: February 5, 2008	Awesome, Reds, awesome. I like this. Quote: A half an hour later Marc and Jamie are throwing football. Another mistake. You're missing an 'a'. Also, opening is technically correct. However, open does sound more pleasing and is thus preferred.



redsrock	Oct 29 2009, 07:41 PM Post #20
Jefe el Heffalump Posts: 15,112 Group: Admin Member #54 Joined: December 8, 2007	ninja_lord666 Oct 29 2009, 07:39 PM Quote: A half an hour later Marc and Jamie are throwing football. Another mistake. You're missing an 'a'. No, it's right how it is. It's sort of a phrase, I guess you could say. Thanks for reading, Ninja.



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