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| Huuk; A Teir story | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 5 2009, 11:07 PM (102 Views) | |
| redsrock | Nov 5 2009, 11:07 PM Post #1 |
Jefe el Heffalump
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Finally getting back into Teir feels good. I hope you all enjoy the story. * * * Before landfall there was rough water. This sudden change in tide made heavy splashes against the northwestern beach of the island of Authwae. It took a few of the birds back into sea, birds that had been stuffing their beaks with the countless number of lizards and bugs that made their homes in the sandy beaches. What birds were left turned to see what had caused such a drastic change in the water. What they saw was something they had never laid eyes upon before, and because of that they fluttered away in utter fear of the great unknown behind them. Three boys sat in the grass upon a steep cliff that overlooked the gorgeous beach below them. But they paid the beach no attention, for it held the same thing they had seen every day of their lives. Beautiful it was, but beauty grew boring after never changing. What they sat there gawking at was a colossal force coming towards them from the sea. What they saw was a fleet of ships. They watched with interested eyes, like an initiate receiving his first wooden spear from his father. Five days they had been watching, ever since the scout had first spotted the ships on his daily patrol across the beaches. Fair weather allowed for such gazing, and that day was the clearest of them all. “Look! They’re almost here!” All three boys stood up in unison, excited for the arrival of whatever was aboard the ships. “Who ya think they are, Huuk?” Korrel, the youngest of the trio, asked. “Stop asking dumb questions,” Zawlton, Korrel’s older brother, said, pushing his brother’s shoulder. Korrel rolled over once in the tall grass, sneered at his brother, and looked back at Huuk for an answer. He was just a seven-year old boy. Naturally, questions were going to come one after another whether Zawlton liked it or not. But Huuk, the unspoken leader and eldest of the three, was used to such vague questions that couldn’t possibly have a clear-cut answer. So he simply shrugged his shoulders and scratched his head. “I’m not sure. Your guess is as good as mine.” The sixteen-year old boy was just as curious as the others, but he had no answers. He couldn’t wait for that to change. “But a lot of people back at the village think it’s the Nothren men from the northwest.” “White men?” Korrel asked “Yes, the white men. If that’s who they are, my father doesn’t want me anywhere near them.” “Why?” “He says they’re like a poison, and that they steal people’s land.” “But I thought the Nothren men were the ones who aided our people in the Pirate Wars a long time ago?” Zawlton asked. “That’s what our elder-da says.” “Yes, I know, but that’s what my father told me,” Huuk answered, raising his hands as if to say What else do you want me to say? “I’ll tell you one thing, though. Those boats are absolutely gorgeous.” “And huge,” Korrel added, his blue eyes wide with anticipation and his lips curled into a smile. Huge was an understatement. The ships that rode through the waters were nothing like anything the boys had ever seen before. They had heard of them in campfire tales, along with other fascinating things, but to see them with their eyes rather than their minds was something special. Like walking through a dream and being able to sense what was going on. And that was just how Huuk felt. He felt as if he was in a dream. The ships before him were like something from a fairy tale. And the people that rode them? Huuk had his ideas. From the campfire tales he’d heard, he imagined the white men would be wearing slick, fancy shirts and pants, in all sorts of bright colors. Thick leather shoes, fancy feathery hats. In some ways it would be humorous to see such attire, for he and his people wore little clothing. Just pants, and for the women thin sheets of animal hide that covered their breasts. “You know,” Huuk began, “In more ways than one, I bet we’re a lot like the Nothros.” “How so?” Zawlton asked, giving his friend a quizzical look. “Well… for one, I was just thinking of the way we dress. My da told me there was once a time when everyone walked around bare-skinned, even the women. But after the old wars of long ago, when the Nothros had once ruled over our land, they made up laws. They made us wear pants, and they made the women wear animal skin that covered their breasts.” “Wait, wait,” Zawlton interrupted. “You’re not talking about the Pirate Wars, are you?” “No, not that. I’m talking about when the Nothros from the west came. Hundreds of years ago when none of us were around.” “Oh. Well that was a long time ago. Like you said, nobody living now was around then. How does your da know this?” “My da knows because his da told him, because his da told him, and so on. It’s just one of the stories. There are many more.” “Like what?” Korrel asked. “Were our houses used to be different?” “Don’t be stupid, Korrel. Our houses have always been the same. I’ve never heard stories that said differently.” “No, no, he’s right, Zawl. Our houses were different. We didn’t have square and rectangular homes.” Korrel’s ears perked up as he smiled and stuck out his tongue at his brother. Zawlton, quite embarrassed at being proven wrong by his younger brother, ignored him. “How were they different, then?” “Our homes used to be made from mud, sticks and leaves. But when the Nothros came they taught us how to cut down trees and use wood to make our homes. They were the ones who taught us angles and other simple mathematical things. At least I think that’s what my da told me. Anyway, that’s why our houses are, for the most part, square and rectangular.” “Swuare and… rec..tangler?” Korrel asked. “Shapes,” Zawlton sniped, rolling his eyes. “You’ll learn them from the Jihn in a year or so.” Then he turned his attention back at Huuk. “So will they bring more change?” “I don’t know. And besides, no one knows for sure if it’s even them.” The boys fell silent as they stared back out into the sea. It had only been a few minutes since they’d stopped looking, but the ships looked as if they’d made miles and miles of progress since then. Huuk felt like he could reach out and touch them they were so close. “I still can’t see who’s onboard,” Korrel pouted. “I can tell ya who be on those there ships, yes I can!” Startled, the boys turned around to see Opiil standing before them, his left hand grasping the same old walking stick he’d been using for years. He had been the one who first spotted the ships, and he used that in almost every conversation since. He was quite proud of himself. “Who, then?” Huuk asked, though he was wary for an answer. Opiil was an older man, and with age came clouded memories and false beliefs. The Gods and Goddesses love playing tricks on the old his father always told him. “It be the Nothros, that’s who!” the old man answered, as if to say who else could it be, ya fools?. “How do you know?” Opiil sighed, limped over to the boys, and sat down beside them. “Ya see that there metal part in front of the ships?” The boys nodded. “Thas called metal. There used to be metal ‘round these parts long ago, or so said my da, and his da as well. The metal be gone now, ‘course. Thank the white men for that.” “Are they bad?” Zawlton asked. “I don’ know for sure, young one. I know that they were the ones who caused us to stop speaking our language hundreds of years ago. My elder-da would sometimes speak it ‘cause it sounded so beautyful. But, then the white men’s speech rubbed off on us ‘cause we got so used to it, ya see? That’s why we speak the way we do. But if ya go yonder east and into Valaika, our true homeland, everyone can speak the old tongue. They speak the Nothro tongue too since it be somethin of a worldly language I s’pose, but they still hold onto the beauty of the old tongue when they can.” “That’s incredible. I never knew that,” Huuk said. “Yes, it is incredible. But, it be also sad in my eyes. They changed us. Some of it has been good change, that it certainly has. But some of it has also been bad. But that be just an old man’s opinion, nothin else more than that. Come, enough talkin for a while. We need to tell Chieftain Auktiin of the ships. They be here by late evenin’, that’s a certainty, yes it is!” Opiil stood up, both knees and ankles cracking from elder’s bark, and started walking back into the jungle he came from. The boys, having nothing else to do, followed right behind him. Their village was always easy to find, no matter what the conditions were. It was by far the easiest to find out of all three villages on Authwae, which in turn made it by far the least safe as well. Located in the middle of a clearing within the vast jungle and mountain, its major defenses consisted of wooden walls to keep out the nightly predators (and those predators brave enough to attack during daylight as well). Sometimes Huuk would daydream about heroic battles between his people and pirates, and then he would always pause to think about what would happen. That’s when he would realize his village was in no shape at all to defend against any force with decent numbers. What happens if these are the Nothro men like everyone says, and what happens if they want to take our land? How will we defend ourselves when the highest wall barely reaches twenty arms high? If these white men are so advanced like everyone says, surely they’ll have weapons of war that can easily top our weak defenses. Defenses would certainly pose a problem if war ever broke out on Authwae, but war hadn’t stepped foot on the island since the childhood days of the elder-das. Authwae was a peaceful place. And it wasn’t as if there was a shortage in wood. The jungle was full of thick, looming trees, but the Chieftains of the villages decided that they wouldn’t cut down too many of them. After all, Domans had always been a people that respected nature. Wood was good for many things, but it wasn’t a necessity. The villages used the wood to repair their homes and build boats to fish out of the sea. Other than that, the Chieftains preferred that their people leave the trees alone, lest they wish to displease the Gods and Goddesses. Huuk never quite understood this logic, no matter how many times his father tried to cram it into his head. If there was an abundance of wood, why not use it? Upon entering the village the foursome split up; Korrel and Zawlton to their da and ma, Huuk to his da, and Opiil to the Chieftain on top of his hill. Though Huuk was excited about the strangers at sea, he wasn’t excited about telling his father about their soon-to-be arrival. Uktel despised foreigners off all kind, but he had a particular hatred for the Nothros. Huuk wasn’t sure what had caused such hatred, but he guessed it had something to do with the old wars. The ones where the Nothros had ruled over the island - and a few of the smaller surrounding islands, for that matter - for nearly seven years. Huuk spread the leave-woven door to the sides and stepped into his house. There he saw his da in the middle of the room, sitting on an old fur rug with his legs crossed. He was looking up at the rafters, his eyes closed and both hands grasping purple candles. Shadows from the flames danced along the walls, a fitting scene for his father’s daily ritual. “Father?” Huuk said, quickly covering his mouth in fear. For starters, he had interrupted his father’s prayer to Baar and the City Above. Two, he had addressed him as father. It wasn’t so much of a rarity anymore, but mighty Uktel despised the Nothren language, which was where the term “father” had originated. “Why have you interrupted my prayers, Huyuk-Nai?” Uktel asked, pronouncing his son’s name in the old tongue. “And why have you addressed me as father?” He said all of this with his back still turned to his son, and it appeared that wasn’t going to change. Huuk would have to stare at his bare back, but that didn’t bother him one bit. In many ways it made things easier. He wouldn’t have to see the hatred, for one thing. The hatred that Huuk had never quite understood. “Sorry, da. I didn’t mean to. It just slipped.” Uktel raised a hand. “No matter. Just be sure that it doesn’t happen again.” “It won’t, da. I promise.” “Now, what did you want?” “The ships are almost here. I… I thought you’d want to know.” And of course he wanted to know. He was the leading warrior of the village, and it was his job to protect the village from all evils, no matter how big or small. Huuk knew very well that his father wanted to form a party and investigate the ships once they made landfall, but Chieftain Auktiin had ordered everyone to leave them alone until he and the other Chieftains of the island made their final decision. Uktel gave his son no answer. Instead he stood up from his place on the rug and appeared to be thinking. Then he walked over to a table beside his hammock - he refused to sleep in beds that resembled the Nothren way - and grabbed a tiny wooden cup. He scooped two index fingers inside the cup, and when they came out they were covered in a green powder that he then spread across his black cheeks. “What is that for?” “Something my da told me when I was just a youngling like you. It is a gift of luck from the Gods and a kiss of faith from the Goddesses. You cannot have any, though. You’re not yet a warrior like your da. Soon, though,” he said, smiling. “Very soon.” Huuk answered with a slow nod, not exactly enjoying the moment. He wasn’t interested in the ways of the warrior like his father. No, he preferred the outdoors. Nature. The trees most of all. Some were so large it seemed as if an entire village could fit up there. If Huuk had his way he’d live out life in the trees, taking Zawlton and Korrel with him if they wanted to come. But no, his father was Uktel, and a warrior he would become. Or so said his father, at least. “Come, sit,” Uktel said, patting a wooden stool beside his hammock. Reluctant and somewhat afraid, Huuk walked over and sat down on the stool. “Is something wrong, da?” “No. Well… I don’t know. Huyuk-Nai… if these strangers that come… if they’re the white men, you know what to do, don’t you?” “Yes, da. You’ve told me many times to stay away from them. I already know.” Uktel sensed the impatience. Could even feel his son’s fists tightening. “Son, I don’t wish to bother you, but it’s for your own good. These white men, they are-” “Like a poison,” Huuk interrupted. “Yes, I know. They steal people’s lands. You’ve already told me that as well.” Uktel frowned and crossed his arms. “You mock me, son.” “No, I don’t mock you. I just don’t understand your hatred. What they did to us happened hundreds of years ago. Do you not count what they did for us during the Pirate Wars a good thing? They saved us, father! How can they be bad men?” “They saved us because they had an agenda, Huyuk-Nai. And they were imperialistic then as well. They simply did a better job of hiding it from us. That and they were slick with their tongues. The Nothren men could talk a Shaman into buying a stack of red shoot.” “Times change, father. Maybe they aren’t so bad anymore.” Uktel smiled at his son and patted him on the shoulder. “For a boy so young in the great scheme of life, you are very intelligent. I am proud of you for that. But, there are some things you simply do not know. This is one of those things. You will stay away from the white men. Understand?” At first he didn’t reply. By that time he had crossed his own arms and wanted nothing more than to pout. Sixteen years old wasn’t exactly the age of maturity. A starting point, perhaps, but what was that?” “Yes, da, I understand.” “Good. Now let us see the Chieftain. I want to see his reaction and see what it is he has decided. If he’s smart he shall send me and some other warriors to see who the strangers are.” “What if he tells you to stay away from the white men?” Huuk asked, with a bit more mocking sarcasm than he had planned. After a swift flick of his father’s wrist Huuk paid for that sarcasm. “This mocking attitude of yours will stop, and it will stop now,” Uktel said. “The life of a warrior demands respect and discipline. As far as I’m concerned, right now you lack both. Now, follow me and hold your tongue, or else your left cheek will get what the right just received.” What if I don’t want to be a warrior was what Huuk wanted to say in response, but he held his tongue. A smart decision. Edited by redsrock, Nov 5 2009, 11:11 PM.
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 5 2009, 11:32 PM Post #2 |
Level 21 Wizard
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Very interesting Reds. I loved it, and I can't wait for more. However:Why is he describing it as 'metal' if the boys don't know what it's called? |
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| redsrock | Nov 5 2009, 11:35 PM Post #3 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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This is obviously my mistake, but in fairness, Opiil isn't very bright.  I'm just playing, though, not arguing. You are correct. That's a mistake on my part. What about each individual character. Do you feel that they're unique? |
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 5 2009, 11:40 PM Post #4 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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Oh, yeah, except for Zawlton. He hasn't really been developed. The others, though, are great. |
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| redsrock | Nov 5 2009, 11:41 PM Post #5 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Thank you. And thanks for reading as well. |
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 5 2009, 11:44 PM Post #6 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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Hey, you need at least one fan. I kid, but really your stories are always so great that I just must read them.
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| redsrock | Nov 5 2009, 11:48 PM Post #7 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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I want to blush and disagree, but I won't. No sense in arguing something so subjective. All I will say is you're too kind. Do you write yourself? |
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 5 2009, 11:52 PM Post #8 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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Sort of. I create tons of stuff in my head, but I never actually write it down. I tried once, but it came out horribly wrong and just sounded stupid, so I haven't tried again since then. "Do or do not. There is no try." as wise Master Yoda once said, and I choose "do not." |
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| redsrock | Nov 5 2009, 11:53 PM Post #9 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Aww.  Well, if you ever decide to post, I'll be waiting.
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| Illydoor | Nov 6 2009, 12:25 PM Post #10 |
Slaughterfish
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Was an interesting story, Reds, your characters are certinaly believable and the dialgoue and interaction between them is genuine as well. Just one thing I'll point out if I may: Get rid of the second 'sarcasm' I think. Just no need for it. EDIT - Sorry misread that. But still, doesn't sound to right with the repetition. Nice work, Reds, I look forward to you posting more stories set in Teir so I can finally get a good idea of what your fantasy world is 
Edited by Illydoor, Nov 6 2009, 12:26 PM.
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| redsrock | Nov 6 2009, 12:30 PM Post #11 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Thanks, Illy, I appreciate it. I agree with your correction as well. In fact, there's something else wrong with it. "Mocking sarcasm" is too repetitive. I probably should've taken out the "mocking." Thanks again. 
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| redsrock | Nov 13 2009, 12:40 AM Post #12 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Chapter Two The grass felt so cool between his darkened toes. Tingly, in a way. The kind that made a person erupt in childish laughter. Huuk only wished there was something to laugh at, for there wasn’t anything he could think of at the moment. Happy he was for the oncoming strangers. Happy for his father’s pessimism he was not. When he and his father exited their home, the village people of Fraas were already flocking to the big hill on the sixth and highest hill in their village on Greul. To their backs were half-woven baskets and barrels of uncooked fish by the bonfires, left behind as their owners fled to the Chieftain’s hill. As a whole, the people of Fraas were excited about the prospect of meeting new faces. The elders (and most of the warriors, for the matter) weren’t too happy about it, but that hadn’t brought the rest of them down. Huuk wished his father shared the same enthusiasm, but he knew that would never happen. Not even in his dreams. Huuk spotted Korrel and Zawlton walking with their own father (and mother, something Huuk knew nothing of), but said nothing. It wouldn’t have mattered even if he had, for his friends wouldn’t have heard him anyway. The excitement of the people was noisier than anything else going on in the village. Huuk and his father joined the rest of the village atop the great hill the Chieftain rested upon. To his right were five men, more elders of the village, his “Ovalai” of trusted friends and advisors. Chieftain Auktiin didn’t like admitting the latter, but it was quite obvious. He valued their opinions just as much he did his own mind. “Quiet down, everyone!” Chieftain Auktiin yelled, his raspy old voice just barely audible over everyone else. “Quiet down!” “Stay here,” Uktel said to Huuk. “I’m getting closer.” Huuk watched as his father pushed his way through the crowd, and soon he found that Korrel and Zawlton were standing right beside him. Their father had pushed through the crowd as well, a warrior of the village just like Uktel, though their mother huddled close to some of her friends. “I know you are all eager for the arrival of whatever rides through our waters,” Chieftain Auktiin began, “and I also know you are all eager to hear what I have to say on the matter, as well. Whatever noises there were had ceased. All eyes were transfixed on Chieftain Auktiin, even his Ovalai who already knew what he was about to say. “I know not what the other Chieftains of the island have said, nor do I care at this moment. My prime concern is my own village, for it my village alone that is in the most potential danger. I have decided that rather than interrogate the strangers, we shall leave them alone in hope that they return the favor. However, tomorrow the Chieftains of Raen and Tarr will be here. I shall hold conference with them, hearing what it is they have to say. After the conference, a final decision will be made. Now, go back to your duties. That is all I have to say.” For a moment the entire hill was silent. Not even the birds chirped, for they too didn’t quite understand what just happened. Leave them alone? Strangers - and likely white men, at that - were about to make landfall on a holy island, and the Chieftain wanted his people to leave them alone? That silence soon ended as whispers and questions filled the air. “Are you mad?” a man cried out, but no one knew for sure who said it, and the man clearly wasn’t brave enough to make himself more known. Now the whispers became even louder as the Chieftain looked on in disapproval. He could smell a revolt brewing that very second. The people didn’t agree with his ruling and now he was being questioned. It wasn’t the first time such a thing had happened, but never before had it happened publicly. “Who dares question my authority?” Chieftain Auktiin bellowed, silencing the crowd once more, this time from fear rather than surprise. “Who dares questions me in the company of my dear people? If you are as brave as your tongue, show yourself and make your intentions known! If you want to question me, come out and show yourself!” With a horrified expression, Huuk watched as his father waded through the front of the crowd, leaving it entirely and standing before the Chieftain. Close enough to hear the old man’s breathing. “Uktel?” Chieftain Uktel said, just as surprised as Huuk. “My leading warrior? You are the one who has broken the unwritten rule?” “Yes, Chieftain Auktiin, it is I. And just as you have asked, I come to show myself and my courage. I am not a coward.” “You need not to tell me that, but what has taken control of your soul? Something nasty, I dare say? It has to be! For why else would you speak so rudely of your leader?” “Please, Chieftain, spare my ill-spoken words. What words I spoke were honest, but I should not have spoken them aloud. But, such wishes are nothing but wasted breath. I have said what I have said, and that is that. Perhaps now we should continue. Not in an ill-spirited way, but I do not believe I am the only one that disagrees with your assessment of what we should do with the strangers at sea.” At that, whispers sounded out again. The Chieftain saw this and quickly put an end to his prized warrior’s wishes. “No, this will not continue! As my leading warrior, I would expect much more from you! Uktel bowed his head in shame. “Uktel, I shall hold conference with you later this evening to decide a punishment for your possessed tongue. Be here at star-rise, and not a second too late. As for the rest of you… get back to what you were doing. I shall hear no more of this disapproval.” He peered out into the crowd of nearly one thousand heads. As crazy as it sounded, it seemed to him as if every face held the same opinion as the outspoken Auktiin. Crazy, but then again… Chieftain Auktiin had seen crazier things. “That is all!” With the end of the Chieftain’s speech the people went back to what they were doing beforehand, their heads held low and their whispers even lower. “Do you think your father will get in trouble for speaking out?” Two hours later Huuk was with Korrel and Zawlton. In the trees they climbed, carefully climbing higher and higher. It was their sanctuary. They’re safe haven from whatever troubles stalked them from below. “Probably. My father’s at home right now. He walked into the house and went straight for his hammock, not saying a word. I asked him if I could play with you and Korrel and all he did was nod his head. So I guess he really did do something bad. Chieftain Auktiin looked really mad, didn’t he?” Zawlton glanced over to his left, checking to see that his brother hadn’t climbed too high. “Yes, he did. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him yell like that before. Your father really made him mad.” “Yeah, well… he shouldn’t have spoken out like that. It was rude.” “He’s not the only one who thinks that way, though. A lot of people want to visit the strangers. Some for positive reasons and others for negative reasons, of course.” And that’s exactly what makes me angry Huuk thought, shrugging his shoulders. “Why would anyone hate someone when they haven’t even met them? But for the sake of the argument let’s say they are the Nothren men.” “But they are the Nothren.” “Fine, fine, just listen. If they are the Nothren men, why should we automatically hate them? They helped us in the Pirate Wars after all.” “I don’t know. My father says they were evil before that, and-” “But that was before the Pirate Wars!” “Let me finish. My father said even though they helped us during the Pirate Wars, they did so for a reason. They wanted to explore the mountains and look for treasure, but the Chieftains wouldn’t let them. People thought there was going to be a war, but for whatever reason they got back on their ships and left.” “See? They left. And this was over a century ago! Surely they’ve changed by now. Maybe they just want to visit?” Zawlton laughed at this, clutching the branch next to him as he started to slip. “Don’t make me laugh, Huuk! I almost fell!” “I don’t understand what’s so funny.” “Let me explain, then. You-” He stepped speaking as he looked up and noticed that Korrel was almost four levels higher than them. “Korrel, get back down here!” he said, before turning his attention back to Huuk. “You really think they just want to ‘visit’? I don’t think so, Huuk, and neither do you. You’re not an idiot.” Huuk laughed and scratched his bald head. “Yes, well… you’re right. I don’t really think that. I also don’t want to automatically assume they’re looking for trouble, though.” “What else would they be here for if not to search the mountains? There’s nothing else here. Other than the three villages there is nothing but jungle, mountain and rivers.” “Maybe there are minerals elsewhere on the island that we haven’t found yet.” “Minerals?” “Yes, they’re… well, I can’t really explain. You can find them in rock and other places. The Jihn told me last week when we were talking about nature and things. He said explorers love minerals because they’re valuable.” Zawlton lifted his boney black arms high into the air. “Then you’ve proven my point!” “What do you mean?” “Nothren are explorers, therefore they are looking for valuable things, such as these minerals you speak of.” “But, but… the strangers at sea may not want that. I was just giving an example.” “Whatever you say, Huuk. You’re trying your hardest to like these strangers. Why?” “Because they’re different. I’ve never seen anyone besides a Doman. My father told me the last time any white man visited our island it happened before I was born.” “Mhmm,” Zawlton mumbled, looking to make sure his brother came back down. He had, but looked very bored. “I don’t know what to think, to be honest with you. I sort of want to like them like you do, but my parents keep putting bad tastes in my mouth. I almost dislike them already before even meeting them. You know… we should go see them for ourselves. I’m sure they’ve made landfall. Wanna go?” “I don’t know. I promised my dad I’d stay away.” “Ah come on!” Korrel yelled, snapping out of his bored state at the thought of seeing the white men. Zawlton was about to berate his brother, but then realized he felt the same way. “Yeah, come on, Huuk. We don’t have to get close. We can go to our usual resting spot on the cliff. That’ll be close enough to get a fairly good look at them.” “I… I don’t know,” Huuk said. “Please?” Korrel begged. But I told my father I’d stay away. Then again, what will it hurt if we just go to the cliff? It’s not too close and the grass is tall. They’ll never be able to see us. “Okay, fine. Let’s go.” The hours and hours at sea had finally taken its toll on little Oris Genry. Now that he was able to walk along the beach he felt alive once more. He had never felt sand before, and to feel it between his white toes was awe-inspiring, to say the least. Similar to when he first saw and felt snow when he accompanied his father’s crew through the snowy Kovakian plains a few years back. “Smell that, son?” his father asked. He turned around to see Bebar Genry walking through the sand as if it was his first time as well (though Oris knew that certainly wasn’t the case). Behind hi the men were unloading the ships and setting up their little makeshift town. “What? The water? It smells… salty.” His father walked over to him and clapped him on the back. “No! The air! Don’t you smell it? You don’t smell the mystery in it?” Oris looked up at his taller father and gave him quite the bewildered stare. “Dad, you can’t smell mystery.” “Not with your close-minded brain you can’t!” Oris rolled his eyes and laughed. “You’ve always been strange. How many times were you dropped on your head again?” Bebar playfully shoved his son, and soon barking could be heard behind them. “Ollie!” Oris yelled as his tri-colored dog came lumbering towards him. It wasn’t a very big dog in height, but it was fat. Oris picked him out himself because of his mix of brown, black and white colors. “Hey dad, can I walk him up the beach a little bit? He’s restless from the boat ride.” Bebar scanned the beach to their left and right, as if trying to see if there was someone there. “I don’t know, Oris.” “Come on, dad! Please? I won’t go too far! Promise! I’m sixteen years old!” To help in Oris’ pleading, Ollie gave out two barks. “Okay, fine. Just don’t let anything bury you in the sand up to your head. I won’t be able to see you with your blonde hair.” Oris gave out a wild laugh and started running through the sand, tripping and falling the entire way. It felt to him like running through water. Ironic, seeing that when there was sand there was usually water as well. “Come on, Ollie!” Ollie the dog followed behind his owner, though he wasn’t so sure about the sand. His furry paws weren’t built for such terrain. Nevertheless, he did his best to keep up with his master, nipping playfully at Oris’ heels the entire way. |
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 13 2009, 01:14 AM Post #13 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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There's really not much to say here besides PLOT EXPOSITION! I guess we have a new character now, though. That's different. However, one thing that isn't different is that I can say with almost complete certainty that in the next portion of the story the boys and Oris are going to run into each other, probably hate/fear each other at first, but eventually become the best of friends, then end up trying to get their parents to come together who will definitely hate each other at first until the four of them manage to convince them otherwise. I mean, this thing has cliché written all over it. Unless...unless of course I'm reading too much into this and am completely off the wagon.  Maybe (Hopefully) you'll surprise me. 
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| redsrock | Nov 13 2009, 01:47 AM Post #14 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Yes, hopefully. Thanks for reading. |
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| redsrock | Nov 20 2009, 11:02 AM Post #15 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Chapter Three His furry friend was faster than him in the sand, but not by much. Though Ollie doubled Oris in terms of legs, his paws weren’t made for the sand. Not by a long shot. Every few seconds he would trip (many times having nothing to do with the sand, for his ears were as long as the ocean was blue), resulting in a mouthful of hot, dry sand. Oris suffered the same fate, but not quite as much. And as unpleasant as it sounded, he laughed harder every time it happened. “Come on, boy!” he chanted over and over. Finally, after one too many trips resulted in a slightly twisted ankle, Oris sat in the sand and held Ollie in his arms. The old dog panted as if he’d just marched a hundred moons straight. Days and days cramped up in a ship had taken its toll on the already not-so-fit and trim dog. “Animals weren’t created to stay locked up in a ship,” his father had retorted when Ollie asked if he could bring along his dog. But Oris had eventually been granted his wish. Mother Genry never liked the dog anyway, and Ollie wasn’t about to leave him all alone with her again. Not after what happened the last trip he’d been gone. Ollie’s nose didn’t used to bear its several scratches it currently had. Mother Genry claimed the dog had picked a fight with the wrong hen, but Oris wasn’t an idiot. A bit naive, perhaps, but not an idiot. As he sat in the sand, Oris scanned the area around him. Though the beach was long on both sides, he could just vaguely see where each side ended. Coming in from the sea the island hadn’t appeared too large, and now he had proof. Past the beach was a series of foothills consisting of grass taller than Oris himself (though he was only four armlengths tall at best). And past the foothills was nothing but jungle. Thick trees with what looked like thousands of leaves on each branch and long, dangling vines reaching down towards the ground. Oris couldn’t see inside the jungle no matter how hard he squinted. There didn’t appear to be any entrance inside it. To Oris’ right a flock of orange birds flew across the water, heading in the opposite direction. I wonder where they’re going? he thought as Ollie nudged his hand for more petting. [/i]I don’t remember there being any land for days. Maybe even weeks.[/i] “We were inside the ship a long time,” he said to Ollie, scratching behind his ears as the dog titled his head sideways and tapped his back right leg in the sand. He loved it behind the ears. “Weren’t we boy?” A long time was an understatement. At one point Oris was forced to stay inside the ship’s quarters for five straight days as a series of terrible storms passed through. Such an event wasn’t too rare for the seasoned seaman, but Oris was only a thirteen-year old boy without a little over three years worth of exploring experience. Three years seemed like a long time, but to him it really wasn’t. Ollie barked and rolled on his back, paws sticking up. He looked at Ollie and barked again after the boy didn’t respond to the first one. Oris stopped looking at the birds and rubbed his dog’s belly. “You’re spoiled, Ollie. You know that?” Ollie’s fat tongue hung out of the side of his mouth as he enjoyed the belly-rubbing. After a few seconds the rubbing stopped, however, causing him to look up at Oris as if to say I didn’t tell you stop, did I? But Oris wasn’t paying any attention to him anymore. The birds were still flying, but now they were nothing more than tiny specks upon the wide blue canvas above him. They seemed miles and miles away from the beach, and Oris figured that was probably true. The line of sight seemed to stretch forever on that clear, sunny day. Then his attention towards the birds was abruptly severed, replaced by the furious and rapid barks from his dog. He snapped his head around to see what the matter was, and what he saw was a furry gray animal bearing its razor-sharp teeth at poor old Ollie from just a few armlengths away. It was a small thing, half the size of the dog, perhaps a bit larger than a house cat. In fact, a cat was what it looked like… sort of. The gray fur and body-build reminded Oris of a feline, but one look at the thing’s face put that comparison to rest. Its head was very round, with no ears at all as far as Oris could tell. Its teeth were very sharp, with two bigger ones sticking out even with it closed its mouth. A square-like nose and big orange eyes finished up what looked to Oris like the strangest creature he’d ever seen. What is[/i] that thing?[/i] The creature clawed into the sand and flung it at Ollie and Oris. Ollie, though his bones weren’t as sturdy as they once were, went after it. Whatever “it” was, it no longer wanted any part of the dog. It turned around and zipped across the beach and up into the grassy hills, Ollie trailing close behind. At first Oris sat there frozen in amazement. Then, as he saw Ollie wasn’t going to stop (even though the creature it chased was clearly superior in speed) he got up from the sand and chased after them. “Ollie! Stop! Stop!” While this did nothing at all to help, Oris wasn’t very surprised. Just like his master, Ollie was quite the stubborn little thing. So Oris followed the two animals into the foothills. There he lost sight of them, but that was alright. He didn’t need to see them. The creature’s shrieks and Ollie’s barks were all he needed to keep track of them. “Ollie! Come back!” Why am I calling him? He’s not going to stop. In a matter of minutes the creature slipped through an open space in between two trees. Ollie stopped at the trees, sniffed them, and backed up two paces. A deep growl escaped his mouth and his hairs stood on end. Oris wasn’t but a few armlengths away from snatching up the dog, but just before he could get his hands on him Ollie darted through the open space, continuing his hunt. Oris stopped at the open space himself and looked up. The trees looked like they could scrape the clouds they were so high. Incredible. I… I bet a whole city could fit up there! The awe soon wore off after hearing his dog barking from within the jungle. He seemed a good distance away, and the distance got farther and farther by the second. Oris wanted to enter the jungle and continue to chase the two creatures, yet it wasn’t that simple. The jungle was rather intimidating. Don’t be a coward! You have to go in! And in he went. By following the sounds and running as fast as his scrawny little legs would let him, he soon caught up to the creatures, but not without difficulty. It wasn’t easy running on the uneven terrain, not to mention all the wide trees with their branches and vines. But the true reason he caught up to them was because somehow Ollie had been able to corner the creature. The strange animal was trapped in front of a large boulder with a steep hill behind it. It hissed and spat at the poor old dog, but Ollie was brave. Just as Oris rounded a tree and was about to scoop up his dog and leave the jungle (he was already afraid of whatever unknowns lurked in the shadows, for the trees blocked out most of the sunlight) a voice called out from his immediate left. “I assure you Katsei is harmless.” Oris actually tripped on a rock and fell he was so started. His heart beating a hundred times per second, he looked over to see a dark-skinned man leaning against a tree. He was entirely bald, his body as thin as a twig. On his face he wore an expression that said he was bored. On top of all that strangeness, the man wore nothing at all. He was completely naked. “Wh-what?” was all Oris could think to say. The man glared at Oris as if he were an idiot. “I said Katsei is harmless. He’s a lyr, after all. They like to fuss and pitch a fit, but when it comes down to it they’re as peaceful as the birds. What is that phrase from the other world? ‘His bark is worse than his bite?’ Yes, I believe that’s the one. He really is a darling, you see. Here, let me show you.” The man snapped his fingers and almost in an instant the ugly creature was in his arms. He rubbed the top of the animal’s head and it purred, stretching its neck as it did so. The man walked towards Oris with the creature, but Oris quickly stepped back. “Oh, I’m quite sorry,” the man replied. He actually looked hurt. “Is it my appearance? How rude of me! Quick, get your dog to quit eating my plants and I’ll put on something more appropriate.” Confused but not sure on what to say, Oris turned around to see Ollie eating a strange plant. It was a tall purple stem with little yellow balls dangling all around it. Ollie was eating the fluffy yellow balls. “Ollie, quit!” he yelled. The dog took a reluctant step back and waggled its tail. “Get over here!” The dog trotted over and sat at its owner’s feet. Oris turned around to see that the man was now dressed in a grey cloak-like outfit with a hood that almost covered his entire face. The material looked quite thin, made from some type of animal hide from the looks of it. “How… how did you…?” Oris began. There was no way the man could have dressed so quickly. Oris had turned around for mere seconds. And where did the man get the cloak in the first place? “Where did you get that cloak? And who are you anyway?” The man smiled and continued to pet his creature’s head. “I don’t mean to sound rude, but I believe it is I who should be asking you, wouldn’t you say? This is my home after all, and your dog has already eaten some of my plants. Not to mention poor old Katsei. He just wanted to play. He’s nothing but a baby right now, after all.” Oris noted how tall the man was. As mentioned before, Oris wasn’t the tallest person in the world. Still, he couldn’t deny how tall this particular man was. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was your home. You see I’m from-” “No need to apologize, good sir. And you also don’t have to tell me where you’re from. You’re from the west.” Oris’ eyes lit up. “Yes. How did you know?” “You’re skin color, obviously,” the man said, smiling. “And I’ve done my fair share of traveling. More than I should have, in fact,” he added with a short chuckle. “I know where everyone comes from. It’s just the way that I am. Call me the weary traveler, if it suits you.” For a moment Oris sat there. The man gave him curious stares, which in turn made Oris very uncomfortable. And he also noticed that Ollie was shivering. The dog wouldn’t look in the man’s direction, but rather kept looking off to the side. “Well… I think I better go. I’m sure my father’s looking for me. What is your name? I’d like to tell him about you. We’re looking for the locals of this island.” At that the man bellowed with laughter. The lyr jumped down from its owner’s arms and scuttled through a hole beside the large rock that Oris hadn’t seen before. An opening into some sort of cave. “Excuse me for my laughter, but your question is rather humorous. I am not one of the locals. I simply make my home on this island for the time being. Once you meet the true locals you’ll understand that I’m nothing like them, other than the color of my skin. As for my name, you may call me Izwiil.” “If you’re not a local then who are you?” Again Izwiil laughed, but this time it was to himself. “I am a Doman, first and foremost. But I am not the tribal fools you’ll soon come to meet. I do not share their ignorant beliefs and I do not worship their false gods and goddesses. Nor do I cast my elitism upon anything that is different, as I’ve already shown. I’ve been quite friendly to you. However, I’m afraid you won’t receive the same service once meeting the villagers. But, young Oris, I do believe I’ve talked too much for one time. Your father is indeed looking for you, I’m sure. Perhaps we can meet again tomorrow and discuss things further? You seem like a very interesting boy.” “Well… I don’t know. I have… wait. How did you know my name?” “Excuse me?” “My name. You just called me Oris, which is my name. How did you know? I know I didn’t tell you.” “Forgive me, Oris, but I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t aware of your name until you told me seconds ago. How could I? We’ve obviously never met before.” “But… you said…” “No, I said nothing of the sort,” Izwiil replied, scratching his chin and looking up into the trees as he thought. “Perhaps you simply misheard me?” Oris stayed silent for a few seconds. Hmm… maybe he didn’t say it after all. I could swear he did, though. Must be the heat. It’s awfully hot on this island. “Sorry about that, then. I’m getting hungry, and an empty stomach plays tricks on the mind.” “That it does,” Izwiil said, grinning from ear to ear. “So will you visit me tomorrow?” This is sort of weird. I don’t even know this man. He seems harmless, though. And very friendly. Father would probably like to talk to him. He seems knowledgeable. “Sure. I’ll bring my father. He’ll have tons of questions.” “Oh,” Izwiil said, over pronouncing the word and shaking his head. “I don’t believe that would be smart. You see, for some reason my precious Katsei has a particular hatred for adults. I am the lone exception of course, but when he sees an adult he immediately attacks. It would be smart to just bring yourself. And Ollie, too, if he’s willing.” Oris looked down at his dog. Ollie was shivering ever more than before. “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll probably go ahead and tell him about you, though. I’m sure he’ll have a bunch of questions for me to ask!” Izwiil smiled and nodded his head. “Naturally, of course. See you then, Oris.” But there was something about his tone. With a final wave, Oris took Ollie into his arms and started to backtrack through the jungle. Once he was clear from the jungle and the foothills he sat down Ollie in the sand, and the two of them walked back to the ship side by side. “He was strange, wasn’t he, boy? Oh well. At least he was nice. And this is the first time I’ve spoken with a Doman! Remember what Oswen told us about them? He said they were interesting, and I guess he was right all along. We’ll come back and talk to Izwiil tomorrow. Maybe he can tell us stuff about the locals, whoever and wherever they are.” |
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 20 2009, 11:17 AM Post #16 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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MAGIC! Cool, you're adding a mystical aspect to the story. That should make it much more intriguing. |
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| redsrock | Nov 20 2009, 11:30 AM Post #17 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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Heh. Thanks for reading, Mr. Ninja. |
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| vanir90210 | Nov 23 2009, 04:06 PM Post #18 |
Budding Lyricist
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I've read the first chapter so far. I like it. Interesting, and definitely leaves you wanting more. Hopefully I'll be able to read the rest later tonight. ...Man, why can't I write in longer chapters like this? |
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Spoiler: click to toggle  "I look at the eyes, straight to the soul doorway"
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| redsrock | Nov 23 2009, 04:12 PM Post #19 |
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Jefe el Heffalump
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To be honest, these aren't long either. Thanks for reading.
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| ninja_lord666 | Nov 23 2009, 04:13 PM Post #20 |
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Level 21 Wizard
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Because you're a terrible writer, and you should go an hero. lol, jk |
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