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R.I.P. neildarkstar. Haven will miss you dearly.
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Finding Ourselves - the Twins' Tale; - and we hope, freeing a dragon
Topic Started: Jul 31 2017, 07:56 PM (1,132 Views)
Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Thanks neil!
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Chapter 29: Terlinna - This is starting to hurt. A lot.

We headed for home. I was, I admit, not good company just then. Eventually, my twin poked at me about that. We’d stopped at one of our usual layovers when horseback from Whiterun home, by a tumbledown house near the pass into Hjaalmarch; I was grooming the boys while he puttered with something to eat.

“Ter. What’s fretting you? You’ve been as silent today as I’ve ever known you. In fact - several times I was worried you’d been replaced by some sort of undead!”

I sent him a black look. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Hmm. Well, I don’t think that’s going to work for me. You’re causing my clothes to want to strangle me. Among other things. Here, sit and have a sandwich and some wine. No. Leave off! The horses are fine, sit and eat!”

So I flounced myself near the fire, took the sandwich he thrust at me, and the tankard of wine. And promptly needed to - get whatever was in my stomach (nothing....) out - so I jumped up, holding my hand over my mouth and ran into the brush near what had once been a garden.

A few minutes later, I sat back down. Vaer sent me a concerned look, but for once said nothing. I pushed the sandwich toward him, but sipped the wine. At least it took the taste out of my mouth....

Once I’d finished the best part of the tankard of wine, and my twin had polished off both sandwiches, he finally looked over at me and sighed.

“So. Do I have to sit on you to get you to tell me what’s going on in your head?”

I snarled “Try it and we’ll see who sits on whom!” And then I started to shake with chills that weren’t at all due to weather, inclement or otherwise. “Vaer. We’re going to lose everyone. EVERYONE! All of them.... everyone we love.... And it’s starting with Arngeir and Durnehviir and Balgruuf (well, we don’t love him precisely - but he’s been part of our lives forever!) After, it will be g’ma Veri. And then....”

I couldn’t finish. I was gulping and sobbing and shaking so hard I couldn’t talk. Vaer jumped up and wrapped himself around me, then unwrapped himself and snatched up a bedroll then rewrapped himself and the bedroll over me.

I don’t know how long it was before I began to be warm again. And even then I was still shaking with something deeper than cold and older than time: it had finally penetrated my youthful consciousness that everyone I loved would die - and perhaps sooner rather than later.

“Twin. Listen to me. We’ve - always known - as a sort of counterpoint to our shared life-knowledge - that we’re young and most of our family aren’t. No one is going to die today. Not us, not those we love. Even Arngeir and Durnehviir are not dying today - and who knows what happens when they get to Sovngarde? Please. Take some deep breaths. Think about - living, not dying.”

Eventually, I grabbed some self-possession from somewhere, scrubbed my face with my palms, and forced my shoulders at least to relax (that’s where I get - tense - first....) “I’m fine. More or less. Thank you, brother-mine.”

He unwound himself and the bedroll, and settled near me though not touching. I think he understood that - I couldn’t have managed that just then. “Sis. You’re going to need to talk this out with someone. Not me, not family. I think.... maybe you’d better head back to Whiterun. Between Arngeir and Balgruuf, well - maybe....”

I nodded and gulped the last of my wine. “I’ll go - in the morning. Besides, someone has to get Balgruuf off his behind as to an heir!” And that’s where we left it. Though.... I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t - because every time I closed my eyes, I saw the death of everyone I loved, everything and everyone I knew, extending down time to the end of the world at Alduin’s maw.

In the morning, I headed back for Whiterun, and Vaer went on toward home. I knew he’d do his best to - not spell out what had happened. But likely ma, da and g’ma Veri would get it out of him. I just hoped those two old men could help me come to some self-knowledge without making me feel a complete child - or a fool.
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neildarkstar
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Overlord
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Ah, sweet mortality...

:thumb:
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Thank you neil. As we turn toward deep winter, I'm finding that all my people are.... thinking about mortality.
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neildarkstar
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In the cycle of life and seasons, winter naturally brings on thoughts of the specter of death. It's just the Way of Things...

It even hit poor old Bilbo, eh? ;)

Quote:
 
I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been;
Of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair.
I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring that I shall ever see.
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Oh, you had to go there.....

That ALWAYS makes me cry.
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neildarkstar
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Sorry, kiddo...
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Nah, no apology necessary. We're going to watch the movies here again shortly - and I'm going to spend several nights in tears.

I think the major issue with me is that - I've read the books so many times, every time I start them again I think "oh, it's not going to bother me this time" - and every time.... I cry. The movies - well, they're just as bad. Yes, they're not "identical" with the books - but they're good enough to get me at the same places. EVERY TIME.

That actually says something profound about not only Tolkien's ability to draw a person in to the tale and its emotions, but also the ability of the cast et al of the movies to do the same.
Edited by Serethil, Nov 9 2017, 10:47 PM.
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Areial
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Et'Ada
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Very nice read... I think mortality hit's the young.. hard and the old.. harder.

The end of "The Green Beret" do that to me.. every time and I watch it two or three times a year.
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Thanks Sis!
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Chapter 30: Terlinna - They actually helped some....

....and didn’t make me feel like an idiot or someone who was too young to be let out alone! And.... um.... I’m not sure how the rest of it’s going to go over at home. But that’s for later.

I walked back into Dragonsreach and asked the nearest guard where I could find the Jarl and his guest the Greybeard. He pointed me up the stairs, saying “They be out in sun on Great Porch, belike.” So I went up and out, to find them settled at the long table clear out on the end in the midday sunshine.

They bid me welcome, being nice enough not to ask why I was back so soon; so I just said it, baldly. “I - fell apart yesterday, and couldn’t sleep last night. Because -“ and here I had to wipe tears again - “everyone I love is going to die, eventually - but maybe sooner than later. And - I discovered.... I don’t know how to handle it. Vaer said I should talk to you two....”

Arngeir smiled gently and with sadness in his eyes. “Usually, people your age don’t realize this. At least not quite this soon. I think - you must be very bright, and very imaginative. As you see, this is not always a good thing - because of course, you now have to find some way to reconcile this foreknowing of death with your own further growth and life.”

Balgruuf looked me over, his ancient eyes taking in everything about me. “Your brother - your twin, is he?”

I nodded, wondering what that had to do with it.

“He sent you here to us because he knew in his twin’s heart that he’d be needing the same solace himself. It looks better for you to admit to this, than for him to after all!”

I hadn’t thought about that, and gave a watery chuckle as I realized how true it likely was! “Well, neither here nor there - but I’ve got to figure out some way of going on with life, knowing full well that....” I couldn’t finish.

“Keep hold of your imagination, don’t let it run wild. Except for accident or disease, your family is unlikely to die before their times. And take heart in the truth of Sovngarde: that you will see all you love again. Ask your grandmother - I believe she will have a tale to tell you, to firm your heart against sorrow before it’s needed.” Balgruuf nodded as Arngeir finished.

And then handed me a complete facer. “It’s good you’ve returned because I have something further to say to you, and I want to be sure your father hears it from you and not a lot of gossipy idiots. I’m not going to pass the Jarlship to any of my children. Dagny’s not interested, being far more involved in spoiling her children than learning to govern. Frothar’s a wastrel, drunk more often than not. And Nelkir.... well, he’s always been - odd - like his mother; the city won’t follow him if I name him Jarl.

“So. I’m going to hand Whiterun to you and your brother. You’re both better at all that than my children ever could have been. I intend to leave Whiterun to be governed by the best, and that’s the two of you - or four if and when you both marry. You tell your da, and then he can come and talk to me about it.”

I was - so stunned I couldn’t do anything but try to pick my jaw up off the floor. “But....”

“No. I’ve decided. You two will be perfect. Because.... there’s a lot of people your age about here now.... and us old men and women aren’t going to cut it. Go on now, girl. Get home. Besides, it’ll give you so much to think about you won’t have time to worry about the rest of us ancients dying!”

They went back inside, and I sat there like a landed fish, breathing through my open mouth, all but hyperventilating.
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neildarkstar
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...and a dynasty is born, eh? :)

:thumb:
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Areial
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Et'Ada
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*giggling* well that IS something to think about!
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Thank you both! Let me tell you.... sometimes I truly believe these people are alive and well in a dimension called Skyrim - which apparently impinges my consciousness somehow....

Because there is NO WAY I could have just come up with that - without "help".
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Kane
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At least Skyrim is falling into the hands of sensible people. Talk about a shocker for Ter!
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Lapuaboy
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That was a "facer" for sure! Great stuff...and great fodder for tons of more adventures :clap:
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Thanks Kane and Lappy! Yah, Ter was left dithering - kind of unusual for her. Wait until she gets home! And yes, as I said, every time I think I'm done with Veri's family.... well....
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Lapuaboy
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Yeah, she'll get home and say guess what ma, da, g'ma and dear twin brother? We be Jarls now, of Whiterun nonethless :D
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Serethil
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Et'Ada
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Chapter 31: The Family - Unexpected News

Terlinna walked into Highmoon Hall two days later. We were all there, because we’d been trying to get out of Vaer just what the deal was with him returning alone, saying she’d stayed in Whiterun but not offering any further information, unlike his usual run-off-at-the-mouthness.

She had the oddest look on her face. And as we looked around, it was echoed by the look on Vaer’s - we were pretty sure they were communicating the way twins do.

As Ter walked in and took the empty chair, Vaer stood up and said “I did NOT tell them, sis. I swear it.”

She grinned. “Well, had you told, it still wouldn’t be the whole thing....” She paused, and looked at each of us in turn. “See you: I fell apart - because it hit me suddenly that.... at some point long in the future - I hope! - everyone I love will die. And.... Vaer sent me back to talk to Balgruuf and Arngeir - who will be back soon I believe....” She stopped, probably to gather thoughts.

“Anyway, yes, they did help - mostly by listening to me and then telling me just to get on with life. But they didn’t say it as if I was a stupid silly girl-child, more like I’d just found out how difficult it is to be an adult, and they were feeling a bit sorry that it had to happen that way. They were nice about it....” She accepted a goblet of wine from Vaer and paused to take a sip.

“And then.... Balgruuf - handed me something far more difficult to think about.” She looked at all of us again, soberly. “He - wants Vaer and me to be the Jarls of Whiterun after him. Da, he wants to see you to discuss it.”

Well, as family uproars go, this one was unbelievably loud and all over the place. Finally Veri stood up and grabbed the horn off the wall, blowing it loudly - which of course got instant quiet from all of us.

“All right. That’s a bit unusual, but not totally new. Var, you’ll have to go soon, because unless he’s got a better healer than that useless sack of garbage at the Temple, he’s going to die before long. Tier, you should go too.”

Vaer just stood there struck dumb apparently. “But.... we don’t know how to.... govern.”

Ter smiled. “Yes. We do. We’ve watched da and ma all our lives. And we’re the ones of the sibs who have been the most interested in why things happen, and how to make things happen. Balgruuf said we would be the best he could leave Whiterun - and he included spouses should we marry in the future. I....don’t see that we can say no. We have a duty to Skyrim. In this case, that duty would appear to be to govern Whiterun.”

Dead silence fell. No one knew quite what to say.

Var finally stood, gave his hand to Tier, and said “Well, guess we’ll pack. I’ll - uh - have a notice posted that there’s no court for a couple of seven-days....”

Tier snickered, and Veri smiled her mother-goddess smile.
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neildarkstar
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What fun! ;)
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