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| Stormhelm: Pre-Crucible of the Storm | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 19 2017, 07:20 PM (16 Views) | |
| Shatris | Mar 19 2017, 07:20 PM Post #1 |
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| Shatris | Mar 19 2017, 07:25 PM Post #2 |
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Portals and Pastrami - The Sandwich Theory "I'm telling you," Essar sat his empty glass down on the corner of a detailed map of Nehlmere, "We're going to get them killed trying this. Combat medics have a fixed point they memorize. That's one of the reasons we lay our forts out exactly the same, our camps, our outposts. So the infirmary is in the same place every time, and its why we give them lots of room - so they don't come out in the middle of the tent pole or someone's Trinity table." The Commander was talking to his brother, Ihron, who wasn't convinced it wouldn't work. The two brothers were in the main mess hall of Stormhelm during one of the quieter times of day. "There has to be a way to pull this off." Ihron's head lifted and his eyes met Essar's, "I feel like the answer is staring us in the f..." "uck me. Are you two really still trying this?" The helpful comment was spoken around a huge mouthful of food and was almost unintelligible, but Ihron knew immediately who it was. A deep breath later, the Commander's bright topaz eyes cut to the Centurion who'd spoken. Iithan Ithsuir had stopped on his way by, a large sandwich in one hand, a beer in the other. "You really are making this harder than it has to be." The shorter Silver swallowed the half-chewed mouthful, "See... its... like a sandwich." He sat the beer down on the table to free up one hand, "You have your flight ceiling," He thumbed the top layer of bread, "and the flight deck." He poked at the bottom piece of bread, "And sky in the middle... in this case, pastrami with a nice black pepper crust and some cheese, a little tomat..." "Iithan?" Ihron was not nearly as amused as Essar, who was standing across from them, his fingers pressed over his mouth, hiding the huge grin that was taking over his face. "No really... let me finish." Iithan barely slowed down, "See, look. You're talking about tap dancing in pastrami, when its way, way simpler than that. We all know how a sandwich is made. We know the ceiling, we know the floor... its instinct. Why are you making this all complicated? Did you not see Angaste cut that Enthim Queton's legs off... on... No. You didn't. You weren't there. Nevermind. I did. See," he picked up a pencil and jabbed it through the sandwich, "I'm talking about cutting through all the bullshit. Open a portal, close a portal. Cut them in half or leave them in the ground, never break your speed, just go right back up..." A low growl started to rumble in Ihron's chest, "There's no way anyone can open a portal that quick, much less..." "Sure they can. You just have to know how tight a hole you can fit in. I know how tight a hole I can fit in, do you? Just... don't stretch the hole out any bigger than you need it... Keep it tight, then pull out so fast...." He jerked the pencil out with dramatic flare and big eyes, ..."you'd think her dad just walked in the room..." By now, Essar had turned completely around and was struggling to keep his shoulders from shaking. His eyes were watering and his face was starting to hurt. Then he heard the growl in Ihron's chest deepen. "Keep it simple stupid." Iithan took Ihron's hand and shoved the mayonnaise and bread crumb coated pencil in the Commander's palm, then curled his fingers around it. "Especially when you're talking about getting mine or Mychal's guys killed because you're stuck on tap dancing, when its more like hit it and quit it." Essar didn't turn back around for a good long time, not until Iithan's footsteps were well out of his hearing. When he did turn around, he finally erupted into laughter. Ihron's expression was one of murderous desires and an intense struggle to not act on impulse - that impulse being to throttle Iithan on any given day of the week. "You know..." Essar started to add to the conversation, then paused when Ihron slowly opened his fist to look at the sandwich smeared pencil. His brother's eyes lifted slowly from his palm to Essar's face, "Not. one. word." The pencil dropped to the table and Ihron wiped his hand on his trousers, then slowly, deliberately, picked up his own tumbler of liquor, sipped at it, then scrubbed at his mouth, then the back of his neck. "He's right." It hurt to admit it. It really did. "That asshole is right. We... I" Ihron amended his statement when Essar raised a brow, "I... have been making this too damn difficult." He nodded his head, took another drink, then went on, "We're going to try something different next time. We're going to treat this like its a pastrami sandwich... but if you tell him I said he was right..." Ihron was fighting the urge to grin himself now, "So help me Dhanna, I will catch you sleeping and I will smother you with your own pillow." Edited by Shatris, Mar 19 2017, 07:32 PM.
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| Shatris | Mar 19 2017, 07:33 PM Post #3 |
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Trinity and Pick Up Lines He couldn't help it. He really couldn't. Essar Emberlight was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Almost as hard as he'd laughed that night at Mordas Tiev when the Goat Story had been retold. His ribs hurt, his face hurt, he couldn't speak. His shoulders were shaking as he sat at the Trinity table, cards in hand, that same hand pressed to his forehead as he tried, and failed miserably, to look across the table at Lukas Stormhelm. "You... really asked her..." More laughing, "If... she wanted a REAL tour of..." He was so glad he'd taken a piss before sitting down to play cards, "Stormhelm?" He managed to get out Lukas' last name and dissolved into laughter again. Kijer, the brother of the her in question wasn't holding up any better, and he'd given up trying to hold his cards. Instead, he'd thrown the hand down on the table, face-down, and was hugging his ribs with both arms. Tai couldn't help but grin at the sight of all three of them laughing that hard. She slid her hands over Kijer's shoulders. "If your brains start to shut down from lack of Oxygen, I'm so not giving either of you assholes mouth to mouth," she said to Lukas and Essar. "The sad part is that Sehaine STILL spent time with him. Although there is some debate on if he really remembers any of it," she added. "He did have one decent line that night though. Just one. At least before he became the Tequila-Fueled-Trainwreck." Jaesen, who couldn't get the grin off his face, was doing his best to keep his cards tilted up and back a little, to keep from giving away his hand. It was becoming difficult, especially when he looked beyond the table and saw Ihron, on the edges of the group, wiping tears of laughter from his face. "Oh gods... He finally had a good line? and I missed it?" Jaesen cut his eyes over the Lukas, who looked more than a little sheepish, yet amused at being the topic of conversation. He gave Jaesen just enough of a shrug to confirm that no, he had no idea what he'd said. "Trainwreck?" It was Ihron who spoke up, "Trainwreck. Okay, that's going to stick." Tai shot a grin over toward Ihron. "Make sure Alara gets the credit, I totally stole it from her." She scooted around Kye before unceremoniously slipping into his lap, making sure not to move his cards. "As for the line, I think, and I was laughing pretty hard, so I might be off, but I believe he told Sehaine that she could tell him about the past in the morning and something about regrets. It was a solid eight." "Its fitting." Ihron was almost wheezing, trying to laugh, talk, and breathe at the same time. At last, Brandyn spoke up, "Iya... he said..." The youngest of the group seemed to think hard, then grinned at his commanding officer. "When Sehaine told him he needed to let her up, or that he might have regrets in the morning, he said: You can tell me about the past, tomorrow morning, and then tell me if you have any regrets." There was a fair amount of stunned silence, then from Lukas came an explosive: "Bullshit. I did not say that. There's no way I was that drunk and said that. No skivving way. Besides," Silver-shot eyes narrowed as he eyed his Venator, "How would you know? You and Iithan were off playing with someone else's balls by then." "Because you were just. that. loud." Brandyn's vivid blue eyes widened and Kye, with an arm around Tai's waist, peered around her head at Lukas and nodded enthusiastically. "Half the beach heard your drunken Quarry Dog accent." "Well." Lukas picked up a nearby tankard of beer and took a long drink while peering over the rim at Kye and Tai, then Essar, "Fuck. Maybe I did say that." "See? Solid eight. Of course that was right before he got all pissed off and then became the Trainwreck who nearly ruined my leave..." Tai smirked and leaned back against Kye. "You know it's bad when someone thinks it'd be less painful to get a full sleeve tattooed on their dick than deal with two pissed off females. Though I wasn't pissed at Lukas, I wanted to go beat the shit out of stupid snarky bitches." "IIII got pissed off?" Lukas' eyes were wide, "Nooooo no. I might have been shit faced drunk, and I might not have remembered that line... which," He looked at Essar and leaned slightly in the Commander's direction, "I have to admit sounds pretty awesome, even if I don't remember it, but," The Decurion eyed Eshtai, "I do know I do NOT get pissed off or even pissy when I'm drunk." Essar, who's face was finally starting to relax and hurt less, cut his eyes from Lukas to Kijer, "He got pissed off didn't he?" "Iiii don't know if you can call it pissed but he got the shit slapped out of him, and Sehaine said something about trying to get in her pants and took off down the beach. Lukas behind her... Annnnd that's when he stepped in a hole up to his nuts... while chasing Sehaine down the beach, yelling BUT YOU AREN'T WEARING ANY PANTS!" Kye did a fair imitation of Lukas' drunken accent, then looked over his shoulder at Ihron, "Did I mention she slapped the ever loving shit out of him?" "Waiiiit wait. What... bitches?" Essar was waving his own beer at them, "Someone left that part out. What bitches?" "He made the mistake of asking me to keep talking," Tai said with an innocent look. "Which led to Tir asking about his voyeuristic tendencies, considering we were discussing tables and their various uses," she was deliberately breezy about it, as if it wasn't of much interest and they really didn't ALL need to know what they got up to. "Alara had fizzy lemon stuff coming out of her nose by this point and Lukas got pouty cause we'd turned on him. Then the stupid bitches who'd given Romeo over there shit when we got there came back and he had to twist the knife, but of course Sehaine didn't KNOW it was twisting the knife, and only certain bitches are allowed to give Lukas shit..." "Breathe, Tai," Tia's voice interjected as she stepped into the room, closing the door again behind her. "You keep that up and you'll be as hard to understand as Stormhelm there is." Her eyes had taken careful note of who was in the room before she came any further in. |
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