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| Ravenger; my fan character | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 7 2007, 05:31 PM (172 Views) | |
| Evil Tails | Dec 7 2007, 05:31 PM Post #1 |
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Evil counter part.
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You all wanna see fan characters heres mine. OO3 but he likes to be called Ravenger. He's a mad biogenic weapon a clone of tails and shadow. Posted Image He's ruthless a sadistic, and just plain old evil. Heres his story (you can get all the details here in a fanfic im working on http://bleeding-fingertips.deviantart.com/...part-1-68035592 read it to find out more) Heres Ravenger in his true form. Posted Image Ravenger was created by G.U.N. using the same technology used to create Shadow the hedghog. He was made with the DNA of Tails and Shadow, Tails DNA was gained by a deal struck with the commander and Tails. One chaos emerald for one sample. Ravenger was designed straight forward assults and assassinations. For about 3 and a half years Ravenger was trained mercilessly and was subject to brutal tests on his body including having tritanium claws fitted into his body. All this treatment pretty much pushed Ravenger to the limits, but it's not what drove him over the edge. After his training microchips were fitted into his brain allowing G.U.N. complete control over him. His first target was a city called Crystalline. After destroying the city and killing the locals Ravenger lost his mind no matter how much he screamed or struggled he could not fight it. During this raid Ravenger meet Arlena Aardvark whom he captured and took back to the G.U.N. base. long wstory short Ravenger and Arle managed to escape G.U.N. now they are two villians both on the path of revenge. Read the story to find out more. Name: 003 or Ravenger Age: 4 years old Height: 100cm (3ft 3in) Weight: 35 kg (77lb) Eye colour: red Class: Villain Likes: Arle, fighting, mechanics, sudoku Dislikes: Tails and all of the freedom fighters, being bested, anything thats to nice Weapons: claws and pincers Abilities: flight, chaos powers, can turn into Turbo Ravenger, Personality: although a clone made by DNA of Tails and Shadow his personality is a complte opposite. He is ruthless and sadistic and cares little for anyone else. He is very quick to get angry and enjoys seeing his enemies suffer. |
Some fool but sausage in my Oatmeal!
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| Deleted User | Dec 7 2007, 05:37 PM Post #2 |
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needs work this is not a bio..look at everyone elses..and give more creativity seriouly we know nothing about your character. |
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| Molotov | Dec 8 2007, 07:00 AM Post #3 |
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Relaxing, no?
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Heh, I see nothing wrong with it. Well, except for a couple details, like how tall, how much he weighs, how he spends personal time, ya know, the works. Even if the guy's sadistic, he just can't kill all the time, despite being created. But not bad for a start. I will see more on your story to give my final judgment. EDIT: Just took a look at your story. Nice, but I saw errors left and right. Captialization, spelling, dialogue, new sentence structure, where did it go? Here's an example I hope to help you: Don't write out a conversation between two people like this, "hi!" said may to joseph. "hey may!" replied joseph to may. Instead, try this: "Hello," shouted May to Joseph in the far corner of the room. "Yo, May!" he replied, waving to her. Separate sentences when you're having characters conversate. It'll avoid the cluster effect. Also, be sure to capitalize proper nouns, as I saw you did not with "mr." and such. You can jumble up at least 5-7 sentences in a paragraph, but any number over that, and you've a major cluster. Still needs some touching up, but I'm sure you will fix it later on. Continue with your work. |
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EPIC MUCH. ...Oh, hello there. Eh, just scourging for a decent-to-good RP. If you wanna RP or would like help on background bios for characters...or anything on characters...don't be afraid to ask, heh. (May not have all the answers, just to let those who do ask me stuff, know, heh.) Will work for the sake of working. | |
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| Evil Tails | Dec 8 2007, 07:13 AM Post #4 |
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Evil counter part.
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Thanks I'll work on it. |
Some fool but sausage in my Oatmeal!
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| Deleted User | Dec 8 2007, 11:35 AM Post #5 |
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Don't you think he's a little graphic to post on this forum? There are little kids on here and he's all covered in blood...
And apparentley you never read the rules cause it's rule #1 |
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| TigerFoxMatt | Dec 8 2007, 11:59 AM Post #6 |
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Although I am not a moderator, I personally see nothing wrong with the image. The mature content rule only applies to major gore that's really detailed and graphic. That picture only shows minor blood spots (although I do agree a link with a warning before it would've been more appropriate for the forum considering there are some people who hate seeing any blood) Anyways, the character overall is alright. The image is good, although like some others said, there could be a little more information, but what you've got is good enough for a basic profile. |
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| Deleted User | Dec 8 2007, 12:08 PM Post #7 |
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Deleted User
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Yeah a link with a warning may be good enough to do. And I agree he is a good character, I'm just concerned about our younger audience viewing these types of things EDIT: Also i just looked at that rule carefully... and it's actually rather vague on what mature content really is. I mean, we all know generally it is graphic material, but what IS the real limit to what 'graphic content' is? It doesn't specify if it's full blown gore, or a subtle hint of something adulterated. I know the rules were just recently modified... but I think small details like that really need to be justified so confusion like this is prevented. |
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| Fai Flourite | Dec 10 2007, 07:45 PM Post #8 |
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Unregistered
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Like everyone else said, you just need to work on the bio a bit. But overall I'd give it a 9/10. This has to be one of the most kick@ss characters I've seen on this board in a long time! TTFF needs more characters like this instead of all these lame diapered recolours! |
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| Molotov | Dec 10 2007, 09:20 PM Post #9 |
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Relaxing, no?
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Or at least recolours ^^. |
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EPIC MUCH. ...Oh, hello there. Eh, just scourging for a decent-to-good RP. If you wanna RP or would like help on background bios for characters...or anything on characters...don't be afraid to ask, heh. (May not have all the answers, just to let those who do ask me stuff, know, heh.) Will work for the sake of working. | |
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6:24 AM Jul 11