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| Tinker Saga: Book 2; Her biggest adventure yet! | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 28 2009, 11:21 AM (106 Views) | |
| Eclipse Prower | Oct 28 2009, 11:21 AM Post #1 |
 
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Prologue: I turned, the world was...pitch black?! I looked around. "Hello?" I yelled out. Nobody. "Helloooo?" I tried again. Still nobody. Suddenly there was a flash of light and I walked into as my biggest adventure yet was just beginning. Chapter 1: Fire's Help I was in school right now, it was 8th period, Social Studies. I heard the teacher say something about a project, but all I heard was, 'Phoenix World' My hand immedieatly shot up. "Yes, Tinker Pronix?" My teacher, Mrs.Marinx, asked me. "Um, what do we have to do for the Phoenix project?" I asked, embarrssed, mainly because I wasn't listening and everyone was staring at me. My teacher stared at me. A gew seconds later, she replied, "You will be getting a paper telling you what to do for the project." I just nodded. A few minutes later, the girl sitting next to me, Splendora Crom, politely passed me my paper. "Listen next time," She hissed quietly. I had no facial expression to that, for Splendora was usually...not so harsh. Next, the 9th Period Bell Rang. Time to go home. I got out of the classroom and I did my locker combination. I opened my locker and found a note on my mini mirror. It read, 'YoU'rE nExT' I frowned. Who would be after a sweet, innocent girl like me? I put my stuff in my backpack and then I walked home. I opened the door to my house and I put my backpack down. "Mom, I'm home!" I shouted. "I'm going to Fire's house!" "Ok, sweetie!" She yelled back from upstairs. I trotted out the door and went to Fire's house. I knocked on Fire's door. Fire opene dit. "Oh, hello, Tinker," She said in a pleasent mood. She let me in and shut the door. Then we sat on her fancy couch. "So, what is it, Tinker?" She asked me. "Do you know about...'The Phoenix World?'" I asked. She gave me a mad look. "No, I don't," She growled. "Go home." "Wait!" I shouted. She tapped her foot impatiently. "What?" She harshly growled again. "I found a note saying, 'YoU'rE nExT'" I told her. "What does it mean?" "Nothing you need to know about, actually, find it out yourself, Tinker." Chapter 2: EvIlPrOwEr's AwAkEnInG Edited by Eclipse Prower, Oct 28 2009, 12:32 PM.
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| Eclipse Prower | Oct 29 2009, 11:13 AM Post #2 |
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Sorry for the double post, really sorry, but I need ideas for Chapter 2. Chapter 2: Evil Prower's Awakening I walked out of her house sadly. Maybe there was someone else who could help me! Like...the ancient Evil Prower! She was around when the Pheniox World was here! I ran happily to The Ancient Ruins. In Fire's House... "Hmmph. She's gonna awaken the Evil Prower Lord? Well let's see how she likes it when she tries to kill Tinker!" Fire screamed evilly. "Muhahahahahah!" Now in The Ancient Ruins... I looked around. I saw a sudden red glowing from once of the tombs. I ran up to it and it had a scroll. It read, "Awaken thee, find peril within, do not awaken if you hate peril, for it will haunt you for the rest of thy life" 'Heh,' I thought. 'I'm just going to ignore that.' I read it outloud and the tomb shook the ruins and out came Evil Prower. "Who awakens thy lord of darkness?!" She yelled in fury. Chapter 3: Evil Prower and I battle! Edited by Eclipse Prower, Oct 30 2009, 11:40 AM.
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 2 2009, 05:19 PM Post #3 |
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Chapter 3: Evil Prower and the Phoenix world! "Um....I-I do..." I answered shyly. "I'm sorry but I was wondering if you knew what the Phoenix World was like." "Grrr....it was a harsh time. Everyonr was battling for this one rare horse, called the Phoenix. Everyone who battled died. Even me...but I could come back to life," she answered in a harsh manner. Chapter 4: Fire gets mad....again....T_T |
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| GMoney | Nov 2 2009, 05:27 PM Post #4 |
Or feel my wrath
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Good story. The only flaw is that its a bit to fast paced. Could slow the chain of events down, please? |
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 3 2009, 12:46 PM Post #5 |
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Oh, ok. So sorry. Can you give me ideas for chapter 4? Your comments and ideas only make it better! ^^ |
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| Shen | Nov 3 2009, 02:48 PM Post #6 |
Cute pictutre by Misaki.
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I'm officially in the process of reading Eclipse. I will reply as soon as can & see if can provide any ideas. I just hope lib lt me print. |
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 4 2009, 12:45 PM Post #7 |
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Ok, thank you guys very much. |
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| Shen | Nov 4 2009, 03:13 PM Post #8 |
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Cute pictutre by Misaki.
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Um.....I.....Sorry...but i'm totally loast here......What's going on? |
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| GMoney | Nov 4 2009, 03:23 PM Post #9 |
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Or feel my wrath
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Could you add a bit of comedy? |
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 5 2009, 12:50 PM Post #10 |
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Um, I don't know how to make it funny...T_T And, Shen, Tinker was assigned a project for Social Studies. It was on The Phoenix World. She went to Fire for help. Fire refused to help Tinker (As usual...T_T) and Tinker decided to awaken the Ancient Evil Prower (BAAAD IDEA , TINKER) and then Evil Prower told Tinker about the time in The Phoenix World. And next, I dunno...Fire's possibly going to get mad at Evil Prower since she didn't try to kill Tinker, so Fire is going to go to the ruins and battle Tinker herself! And Evil Prower gets some friends and battles Tinker, too! But it's just a suggestion. |
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| Shen | Nov 5 2009, 02:34 PM Post #11 |
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Cute pictutre by Misaki.
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I'm sorry EE....But.....This whole story needs some serious work.....&...I have no idea on ideas for i see no direction in the story yet. |
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| GMoney | Nov 5 2009, 04:47 PM Post #12 |
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Or feel my wrath
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To make it funny add someone who is clumsy or always makes trouble accidently or speaks his/her mind and gets punched in the face for saying something stupid. As far as ideas go I got nothing. Sorry. |
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 6 2009, 01:24 PM Post #13 |
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Ok..... ;.; my stories are terrible...-- |
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| GMoney | Nov 6 2009, 03:56 PM Post #14 |
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Or feel my wrath
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Its not terrible. Its just paced to fast. |
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| Eclipse Prower | Nov 7 2009, 07:08 AM Post #15 |
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How is it fast paced? |
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6:46 AM Nov 29
