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Utopia Universe Blog 
Jadzia's Log Blog
Apr 08
Haven't posted in here in awhile
I can see I've been very lax in my blogging
oh well...
the last few months have been kind of sucky mixed with cloud bursts of sunshine, which is probably why I haven't added anything in awhile, I hate having nothing to say but depressing downer stuff
so.. some family complexities as usual, but on a brighter note I did some car upgrades so atleast inside my temporary clunker's not that bad now (actually it's got a kickass stereo so forget not that bad how bout pretty good)
and I found on of my oldest friend's who I lost touch with almost a decade ago on Facebook, and I cautiously sent a message, then to my surprise got a very favorable reply, so I then sent another reply back a bit more indepth.. NOW I'm doing that freakout thing I do where when I know someone's been online and I haven't gotten a reply I start going crazy trying to figure out did they see my message? if they didn't see it yet will it become lost and they'll never see it? did they just not reply because I tend to be too wordy? etc...
apparently I can be a chronic worrier about some things
anyway, He IS in Africa right now, so I'm guessing he likely doesn't have time to reply to ever single message every time he logs into Facebook... still, I really want to be sure that he wasn't just being nice in his first message and that he really would like to try to catch up
I mean, I'm sure to an extent he's change over the last almost decade, he probably has new friends that are much more 'important' than the guy who suddenly shows up almost 10 years later, plus he's going to college only for advanced degrees and stuff, so he's been in college for a good while, PSU of all places, which has a rep for being rather liberal (I fear Christian homeschooled family kid might no longer be his identity) be all that aside I'm sure he's still the same person, and I hope there a way to atleast kind of stay friends now that I found him, I mean how many people are really able to stay friends with people they've known since they were 5?
Jan 31
Happy Anniversary Baby!!
W00T!1!!! we made to 3 years
who knew? (well I did but..)
anyway, I got this stupid flu that's been going around, so I was out of commission the last few days
thankfully I was still able to get the bulk email out in time, and to do some skin tweaks and an anniversary banner
my car's driver side window fell into the frame.. so I still gotta fix that when I get better, thankfully it's a clunker so no one would bother stealing it
Jan 23
the simmering vulcano of life
ever feel like you're a Vulcano about to errupt? like you've shoved so much beneath the surface, and keep doing so to cope with disappoints and what not, that you just KNOW you're going to explode some day.... yet... you keep doing it
well, that would be me, a giant vulcano of stuff waiting to explode some day as the pressure builds, I've had a hell of a day, and a hell of a time since I last posted something here, but I keep shoving it beneath the surface, and adding to the pressure (if I some day vanish perhaps it will be because my head finally blew up)
but that's what I do, I Get mad for a few minutes, then I calm down, and just shove the remaining anger deep down inside (stupid I know, but then I never claimed to be a genius
I suppose the action of still being able to be sarcastically quippy about it and humorous is a good sign though
Hopefully soon I'll be able to find that better job I'm looking for, get more money, a more reliable car, and things will be brighter
in the meanwhile, I have you guys, and TV... oh how I love TV, I can't tell you how great TV is, if there's one thing that can help you just shut out your problems in life and just veg for awhile it's watching TV shows on the internet with headphones wrapped around your ears, well, that and RPGs and Writing, the combination of the 3 can help get you so invested in them that you end up forgetting all about your worries and problems for awhile, and even not really mind them so much when you walk away from the 3
Just don't hit your hand as hard as you can when explaining your frustration to someone... because it REALLY hurts
Nov 23
so... Really REALLY been awhile
well, the Holidays are upon us in full swing now, Christmas tunes being played non stop on select radio stations, holiday specials slated for TV, I'm still not feeling Christmassy, but then I don't usually until after Thanksgiving
I think I'll try to put my lights up right after thanksgiving for once, and also avoid almost killing myself while I'm at it
it's strange that the older you get, the more the things you tell people to get you if they ask you what you'd want as a gift is something you need vs. how when you were younger it was always something you really wanted but probably didn't need
My Uncle will be coming into town a few days after Christmas so that should be fun, and hopefully I get to see my sister (the one with whom we share the same father) more this year over the Holidays
I hope everyone here has a super Holiday season too, and I'll be Christmassing the site up shortly
Sep 26
been awhile
wow, it's been a bit since I've posted anything new
so I guess I'll just ramble whatever pops into my head
I'm starting to fall into the TV season trap where I watch 3 shows almost every night, so hopefully I don't start not having enough time to devote to messageboards, I also am going to start looking for a new job, chances are though that will also make me more busy, and probably around less
my personal goals which have been put off many many times, are finally looking like I might be able to hit a few, so hopefully the glimmer of hope expands and I really will be able to complete some goals
I also could use more sleep, hopefully I can pull that off too
Aug 30
TKR (curse you writers strike)
so, thanks to the writers strike cutting all shows short this season I've fueled my TVoholic addiction by watching old shows on streaming sites like Hulu, and just recently came across the Knight Rider sequel spin off from the late 90s, "Team Knight Rider" (or just TKR) and I must say, I'm almost embarrased at my new TV show obsession, in the space of a week I've already watched all but 3 of the 22 Eps that show made before it was canceled (the poor show was canceled at the end of it's first season) and while the writing and acting in the first few episodes is absolutely HORRIBLE, and possibly the worst I've ever seen in my life, bordom and the fact that I had nothing better to watch kept me watching the other Episodes, and surprisingly, it got better (that or it just grew on me) infact some of the later half Eps are pretty good, and show that if the show had gotten a second season it could have been a good show, it certainly showed promise near the end
unlike the overly slick car commercial that is the new Knight Rider, TKR has the same cheesy feel that the original Knight Rider endearing even when the writing and acting was pretty lame, it was just fun TV that never tried to be anything it wasn't, this new Knight Rider is just really a bit over the top still it seems
and one thing I DO(did?) like about TKR is that they tried to connect it to the original and not change the original's back story by mentioning, KITT, Devon, Michael, their cases, etc... in little dialog bits scattered here and there, vs. the new show which pretty much has retconned most of the original series' backstory
anyhoo, in 3 Eps I'll reach the end of TKR, and there will be no more, and while most of the beginning Eps were horrible, I can't help but think I'll feel sad there is no more to watch of it
Aug 27
the flashlight at the end of the tunnel?
I'm going to get slightly philosophical here for a sec, so bear with me...
we all know the saying "the light at the end of the tunnel" often used in a phrase like "things are looking up! I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!" meant to be a colorful metaphor to explain that whatever hardship or dark place the person's been stuck in is almost over and they'll out of it and back into the light soon
sometimes though I wonder if we're really seeing the light signifying the exit, or if it's just a really high powered flashlight we lobbed ahead of us to keep our hope up that there is an end to our endless dark tunnel of despair
I myself many times have professed that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, things seem to be looking up finally, it's all going to work out, the way out seems to finally be in reach.... but then, I get there, and it turns out it was NOT the end of the tunnel, but there was just a high powered flashlight beacon of hope laying on the ground ahead of me keeping me hopeful (in non colorful metaphor terms, the situation/event/offer that seemed like the start of things getting better suddenly went horribly wrong/vanished/didn't work out without warning)
for hopeful people, you'll always see the light at the end of the tunnel, the end of your hardship is always near, the problem I see though is that subconciously lobbing high powered flashlights ahead of you to act as a faux light at the end of the tunnel to keep your self hopeful end up just devistating you more when you reach them, and realize you're not almost out, and then you start questioning if there ever is a way out, and if the next time you see that light at the end of the tunnel, your symbol of hope that things are looking up, is it really the exit? or did your brain just order a new batch of ACME flashlights to throw ahead of you to keep you from dipping into depression and the feeling that it's a never ending dark tunnel
personally, I say lights at the end of the tunnel be damned, next time your subconcious wants to place an order with the ACME faux light at the end of the tunnel flashlight company, ask it if it could order some C4 instead and blow the frickin' tunnel into space dust, then the next time you see light it'll be the light OUTSIDE the tunnel
Aug 16
Yikes!!
I just got finished talking to My Older Brother and apparently his work truck was broken into and someone tried to hotwire it!
then failed, but took everything from the inside anyway, including some folders containing company customer information
what is this screwed up world coming too! his neighborhood's never been anything but safe and tranquil, and now suddenly it's got car thieves!?!
Aug 02
NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Brothers and Stepdad are going to Vegas tomorrow for a week!!
and so they'll be right near ST the Experience!the things closing soon, I've never been there, and now my last chance to see it is gone!
oh well,.. on a happy note X-Men came back to Toondisney
Jul 27
A good day
Today was a good day, I woke up without the aid of an alarm and feeling refreshed,
Then I was able to see my Sister (the one who has the same Dad as me and lives with my ex-stepmom) who I haven't seen for over a month, and we tried to work it so we can hang out on her birthday on the 5th, I really hope we can do that
I had a lot of fun with her today, one of her friends was there too, but it was her nice friend, not the Skanky one she usually hangs out with all the time (that friend really needs to go) we actually ended up playing the Scooby Doo themed Clue game
and I won both gamesI'm so the deductive master
then after when I was coming home I noticed suddenly my gas gauge dropped to below empty, and then the lights for the gauge cluster started fading in and out every time I pressed the break, my poor car's battery barely made it back into the driveway, after I parked I tried to start the car again to check and it wouldn't start, I could hear it like hardly able to try to turn over, so I need a new battery now, it's not unexpected though, I actually need a new car, when I get enough money I'm going to upgrade for a used 350Z
I mean it's kind of logical, it's a sports car, but then it's not really a sports car since it's basically designed to be afordable in the first place, ever since I first saw the 350Z years ago when it first came out I've wanted one, in copper orange*sigh* some day I will get my rather attainable dream car
7:00 PM Nov 24
