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'Gases; Hlebregas, Persigas, Walcregas etc...
Topic Started: Feb 24 2008, 10:51 PM (4,189 Views)
Little Fluffy Theo
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Mrs Fabregas
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I know Priya was going to make a Hlebregas thread, but since Cesc is such a slut, we may as well have them all in one place.

To kick off, I'd like to share my Walcregas story. (Posted in parts because I think it's a limit of 15 pictures per post. I think.)

Once upon a time, Cesc squeezed Theo's butt:
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Cesc: Oh, it feels so juicy!
Theo: What the hell!?

It was just a little pinchy, but after it happened, Theo found he couldn't stop thinking about it.
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Would he ever have his butt squeezed again by those warm, firm hands? Most importantly, did he want to have it squeezed again?

After conferring with Johan on the situation...
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... Theo decided that he did indeed what to feel the texture of Cesc's hand on his butt cheek once again, if only for old time's sake.

But no matter what he did...
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... And no matter how hard he tried...
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... To seduce his pal...
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Cygan: Ooh yeah, that's one mighty fine piece of fluff.

... Cesc didn't want to know.
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"Stop flashing me all the time, Theo. You'll have social services onto me."

One day, Theo decided to pluck up the courage and just ask Cesc for another pinch or two.
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Theo: So here's the thing: I want you to squeeze my arse.
Cesc: Uh-huh, interesting suggestion.

After some contemplation, Cesc decided that he would treat Theo to a new pleasure. After all, arse-squeezing can get boring after awhile.
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Cesc: You know, I give really amazing hugs.

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Theo: Oh wow. This is incredible.

And so for awhile everything was going great between the two of them, until one day...
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Ade stole Theo's hug.

Theo was outraged by the situation. First, that Ade would have the cheek to steal his cuddling buddy...
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"What? What did I do? It was only a hug."

And second, that Cesc made absolutely no attempt to resist Ade.
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"What? It was on a little hug, Theo! It didn't mean anything!"

Theo tried to move on and forget about it, but by that point, Ade had caused quite a stir in the dressing room by announcing the extraordinary quality of Cesc's hugs. Everyone now wanted one, and Theo was outraged.
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"It's all your fault, God!"

After awhile, Cesc suggested to Theo that the whole thing might just die down if he obliged to their team-mates demands and simply gave them each a hug. So Cesc began to formulate a rota.
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Cesc: Put your hand up like so if you want a hug!
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Little Fluffy Theo
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Mrs Fabregas
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Hands went up.

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"Me! I want a hug!"

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"I'm next!"

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"Yeah, I'd quite like one of those!"

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I want two hugs!

And while Almunia got all the players to form an orderly queue...
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Almunia: Get in line, boys. I'm next.
Gallas: Oh please let me have a go! It's my turn! It's MY turn!

... The hugs went in.

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Hleb: Nice view.

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Robin: His skin is so smooth.

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Cesc: Told you they were awesome, right?

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Nik: Best friends forever, right?
Cesc: Let's not talk. Just hug.

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Cesc: You're such an unselfish hugger, Willy.

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Phil: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST HUG EVER!!

And when Robin told Arsene about the new Cuddling Cesc Craze that had hit the dressing room...
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Robin: They really are quite remarkable. You just put out your arms and what happens next is indescribable.
Arsene: Sounds fascinating. I might have to try that.

... Arsene Wenger soon decided that he wanted to experience the infamous cuddle, too.
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"I'm coming, father!"

Unfortunately, Pat Rice got ear of it and decided to butt in.
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Pat: Hug for me?

The outcome was not pretty.
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Pat: Truce?
Arsene: I'll give you truce! *Smack*
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Little Fluffy Theo
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Mrs Fabregas
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All that was bad enough, but then a few of the players started trying to seduce Cesc.

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"Look at the badge, Cesc. And now imagine that's your face. Looks good, right?"

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Kolo: I know you want a piece of this jelly!

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Eboue: Come to dada.

And when a few started taking advantage...

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Phil: You're mine. All mine, I tell you!

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Alex: Finally I've got you all to myself.

... Theo decided enough was enough, and that he'd tell them all just how much of a slut Cesc was. Then for sure they'd never want to hug him again.

At first, the other players mocked him.
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Julio: Aww, he's so cute! Let's all patronise him!
Phil: Sounds like a good idea to me.
Robin: Is that a screw loose?

But then one day, out of nowhere, they stopped asking Cesc for cuddles. In fact, no one even talked to him anymore, and Cesc began feeling quite alone.
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“Where have all my hoes gone?”

No one wanted a hug anymore, and out of desperation, Cesc found himself looking for cuddles in the strangest of places.

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Cesc: Hug? Just a little one?
Poll: I don't think so, mate. Clean yourself up, you're a mess.

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Cesc: I need to hug him. I just need a hug.
Kolo: Don't do it, man! You'll regret it!
Fat Frank: I am not a piece of meat you can use at your leisure. I have feelings!

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Cesc: HUG ME!

But in the end, nobody seemed interested, and Cesc began to lose hope.
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Cesc: All I *sniff* wanted *sniff* was a hug *sniff*.

And then one day, out of the blue, something came at Cesc from behind and knocked him to the ground. Cesc turned on his side, clutching his bum and groaning. And then like a ray of sunshine, a face emerged over his, smiling down over him.
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Theo: You didn't think I'd leave you, did you?
Cesc: Oh, you've got the best arse I've ever squeezed!

And so they celebrated, long into the night...
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THE END.
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sweet_dreamz32
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The Guv'nor
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Oh my...you have me laughing like there is something is wrong with me over here!!!!!! LOL that story made me laugh soooooooo hard!!
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Malty
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Cesc's 'Gas
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sweet_dreamz32
Feb 24 2008, 09:59 PM
Oh my...you have me laughing like there is something is wrong with me over here!!!!!! LOL that story made me laugh soooooooo hard!!

lol me 2 :lol: :lol:
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Lisa_x
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Cesc's 'Gas
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HAHA :lol: made me laugh so much too, love it!

How about Rosigas or Flamigas?
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Little Fluffy Theo
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Mrs Fabregas
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Heee thanks, guys. :ph43r:

Yesh, I did think about Rosigas and Flamigas, but I was feeling a bit sorry for Fluff so I tried to limit Cesc's "companions", shall we say. :rolleyes:

But oh dear. I sense Priya storming in here and declaring Hlebregas the king of the castle pretty soon. :unsure:
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sweet_dreamz32
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The Guv'nor
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LOL you're going to have to tell the whole story!! Its only right!!
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Anna
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Mrs Fabregas
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Great! So funny. You should write another one! :D
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mgan
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Cesc Fanatic
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bahahahahahha ths was fucking hilarious!! and once again i find a way to distract myself from drama c/w!! i am looking at this and quoting lee evans via msn wiv a m8!!
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Steff
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Thats is so funny! I love how you made the captions exactly match with the story! :lol: :lol: So cool
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fabregas_4
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Mrs Fabregas
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:lol: :lol: :lol: thats so funny, love the story :lol:
aww when cesc was feeling lonely, he could have always asked me 4 a hug lol :P ;)

thanxs
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cescfan2011
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Cesc's 'Gas
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.
Edited by cescfan2011, Oct 2 2011, 05:12 AM.
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mgan
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i sooooooo agree!

[size=14]HLEBREGAS PWNS ALL!![/size]

[size=1]although Persigas + Rosigas has some appeal...*hides from Priya*[/size]
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janbobs4fabby
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Mrs Fabregas
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LMAO!!!! :D That was absoutley BRILLIANT!! :lol:
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