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Sam)(ael
Topic Started: Mar 4 2009, 03:37 AM (638 Views)
Kai Stormwalker
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Master Sentinel/Scholar/Healer
Excellent work, Sam)(ael! The points you have brought up are exactly my reasons for choosing this assignment.

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Evil is not a person, but a force acting within persons.


This is just what Apostle Paul meant when he wrote: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but aainst principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12.

This is why I believe that any form of physical warfare is ultimately futile.

Quote:
 
Even in the conflict of Good and Evil, you can miss out on the real battle happening outside your vaunted halls of wisdom or darkness. The real battle is fought by normal people and though a Jedi might personify the greatest values, what good are they if they are hidden away in their own private conflict? Cut off from the people a Jedi is of no use.


This is what I view as the sin of Christianity as it is practiced in so many places. So many conservative Christians aren't able to see that God is at work everywhere and through all religions and people who are open to his will. There are many people in the world who are doing the will of God by living their lives according to the teachings of Jesus (whether they realize it or not). I saw a documentary a few months ago where someone said, "Christians don't have a monopoly on Jesus."

This reminds me of another scripture told by Jesus: "A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work in my vineyard today.' He answered, 'I will not'; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, 'I go, sir': but he did not go. Which of the two men did the will of his father?" They said, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you."

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Sam)(ael
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Thanks Master Kai, I was actually reading that very passage and remembering the first one from paul not even a full day ago.

A lot of people don't realize that the world is just an illusion. We are actually in the midst of a great war, a pitched battle raging through every life. We are soldiers fighting for our own souls and the souls of our loved ones. Great demons and tempting sirens wage war upon our very happiness at every moment seeking to drag us down to that awful hell where they reside.
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Sam)(ael
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Knight Assignment 2

"Did the Jedi have it coming?"

I thought that this article took a little too much for granted. The writer seemed to have a pessemistic view of the starwars saga as it is. This was demonstraited by referring directly to both the light side and dark side and those that support them as basically religions and then detailing some of the ridiculous circumstances of their conflict. He also insinuated that indoctrination was widely used in the Jedi.

The concept is not totally wrong. Many important factors were brought up. The Jedi order had slid into quite a bit of decadence and even some tyrany. It made what could be considered some bad calls, and it truely did lose connection with a purpose. Serving people is a living affair, serving ideals is a crystal cave. Forever getting a new perspective on the light, instead of accepting it as it is. Light.

The Failings of the Jedi in the Fiction should be looked at carefully and certainly not duplicated, but we should also try to understand the reason for the rule. We should not think ourselves wiser by default or whether right or wrong we are fools.
-The Jedi order turned away many force users because of age. Age doesn't seem to hinder the Sith in force skills. Is this because the world is tainted and it makes a Jedi life impossible, or was it a risk the Jedi were not willing to take? Was it a blatant grossness of power to the point of waste?
-The Jedi cared less for the people than for their own ends. Slavery was hardly blinked at while the sith were hunted fervently.
-The Jedi refused to change their methods. It seems that many preffered death.
-The Jedi did not take kindly to a second opinion from anyone. Even a Master applicant who had accomplished as much as Anakin.
-The Jedi were absolutely emotionless as an order. Even compassion was a rare fixture.

Now these crimes are not all, but they are a good start. What happened to Jedi being a force of good? Where did the silver glow end up? When you look at some of these things it doesn't feel right. At least not to me. I will admit that I didn't agree with some of Luke's new order concepts but I think that Jedi should be much more self sufficient. More caring. More attached in some ways.

What good is being one with the force if you only end up serving the Jedi?

Once again I detect that the Jedi were so occupied with the idealogical conflict that they forgot about human nature's redeeming light and lost track of the real battle for the Galaxy. They lost their focus. Something I think only Luke ever really managed to escape. If anakin had not been turned to the dark side and then not died after Yavin he might have been much like luke. I think the Jedi were not a good influence on him in many ways.

Some restrictions are not good for us. The Jedi seemed to specialize in this.

I do not seek to criticize so much as correct. I am not that kind of Jedi and I will renounce my post in a second if that is all the Jedi are capable of.
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Silmerion Skywalker
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You did a good work Knight Samael.
I always think it is a pity to see that with time the Jedi Order lost their real purpose and ceased to serve the Will of the Force.

Master Silmerion
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Kai Stormwalker
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I see two major failings among most online Jedi orders that I have encountered.
There are those orders, usually made up of younger members, who see the Force in nothing more than its simplest form - bioelectric energy. They view it as something that exists to serve them, something they can use and manipulate.

Then there are the orders that are usually made up of mostly older members, who seem to see the Force as something that is simply for personal improvement. For meditation and expanding their minds.

To me, both of these ideas are symbolic of modern day Sith.

As Christian Jedi it is our responsibility to view the Force as a deep connection to God that inspires and empowers us to stand against injustice everywhere we may find it. Especially within our own governments and institutions.

I have to admit that I don't know much about Luke's new order concepts. Personally, I am only interested in Lucas's ideas and he has said that anything set after Return of the Jedi is not based on his ideas so cannot be considered canon.
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Sam)(ael
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Sad, because from what I have read your ideas are similar in many ways with the new order.

I have no hesitations when it comes to splitting away from the fiction. I am about doing what is right, and if that isn't Jedi than the jedi can heve my lightsaber. much good it will do them.
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Sam)(ael
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Knight Assignment 3

"Kenobi's Sin of pride"

This Article in sum, points out two facts: Obi-Wan is a flawed person, and the entire star-wars saga has close parallels with Greek Tragedy.

Obi-Wan is stubborn, difficult, and sulky at times during the movies. He seems to judge people execively and once again come to a definite conclusion too quickly. Something not mentioned in the article that illustrates the key to all of Kenobi's weakness as a person and his self-depreciating punishment of his self considering it his failure to train anakin properly is that in 'Return of the Jedi' Kenobi visits Luke as a Ghost shortly after Yoda's death. He tells Luke that if he is not willing to kill his father than the emporer has already won and all is lost.

In point of fact he was absolutely wrong. Further, he was blind also. He takes things for granted and has to idealistic a view of the world. The fact is that he never even saw a possability that Vader still had fragments of Anakin in him but he did. His entire life this blindness, this quick fire-from-the-hip judgement of what things are like based on unreal idealism such as many children commonly display is what binds him in his tragedy. If you ask me, the fact that it is entirely possible that for his whole life and even after he was proven wrong he may never have suspected that he was missing things and judging too quickly is horrible. We call this damnation and that is what makes him tragic.

Even brash and eccentric Anakin showed a wealth of change as a force ghost. It seems like hi real self had also matured inside his evil shell and once freed, it showed itself to be every bit as improved as his dark side had become over the 20 years of darkness where he suffered as a slave of the emperor.

Now to return to the Tragedy portion of this article. Have you ever considered that people don't actually like happy endings? We have learned through experience that Joy is temporary. Pretendng it is going to be happy forever is not appealing unless we feel that a battle really was fought ad what we are left with, is not a generic happy ending, but the truth that though many things dear will be lost, the conflict is for a good reason and that makes it worth living through.

Greek Tragedy shows this perfectly as does George lucas in the end of return of the Jedi, and Revenge of the Sith. In revenge of the Sith we have the perfect tragedy. I mean perfect to the very ounce. The forces of good have been betrayed and devestated, the populus is still ignorant of their impending enslavement, the champions of Good not only aare being slain in heart-wrenching numbers but even the very elite are falling in the conflict. Almost each of the most prominent council members show the corruption that the darkness has spread in them with mace disobeying the code, Yoda overjudging himself against Sidious, Obi-Wan once again blinded, and Anakin turned to darkness for something as pure as love then killing the thing he loved.

The tragedy is illustrated by Anakin and Obi-Wan's personal conflict. The battle inside ourselves has never been so clearly captured, the fate of the galaxy is at stake in each person just as much as in that portrayal of conflict.

We love a Tragedy because all hope is lost. We face this ourselves. Deep inside we know we are in a spiritual war that rages accross the world and into kingdoms and principalities unseen. The field is ravaged by demons and angels alike and our own efforts are all necessary for each moment of survival. We recognize the constant odds against us. One slip down that slippery slope is all that it takes to become the very evil we face. The call of sirens and the whisper of dark seduction is our constant companion and we know in our hearts that the battle is impossible. We are only human.

The hope despite all being already lost is tragedy's symbolic pipeline to our hearts. Because like Yoda Said. "Luminous being are we, not this crude matter!" In this war we find ourself humanly doomed and yet we rise above with hope shining brightly before us. We become luminous beings. The impossability of our struggle is no less than our destiny, our divine birthright. No lesser challenge would do. In this conflict we take on our true form after all other lights have gone out. And we become the light ourselves.

The Second part of Greek Tragedy is the only victory allowed to such a story and honestly the only one we as an audience can really stomach. It is once again, perfectly portrayed at the end of return of the Jedi. The Happy ending. But this ending is tinged with grief and with a sure knowledge that all is not done but for now, all that has transpired will suffice. We feel the pain of Luke's loss. Despite his victory in saving his father, despite his survival and his friend's lives and the rebellion's success, a part of him longs for a father. Something perhaps unfed still hurts that he cannot have that.

Though we do not see it so much, we can imagine all of the lives that have been lost trying to stop the empire. Any person serious about what they are watching realizes the price that has been paid at the end, and yet there is happiness. Surely it is not over, but now we know that it was worth it for sure.

The reason this part of Tragedy is good for us is that we know a war has casualties. A perfect battle is not how it works. If the struggle were easy it would not be as it is and we would not be able to identify with it. Yet, its worth it. And something like hope lights the end. We can see through the darkness of the final conflict, and we can see past the desperate struggle for survival to a moment when all is well. When happiness is present to the weary. And we know this to is our future.
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Silmerion Skywalker
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You made an awesome work Knight Samael.
About people who don't like happy endings, it mostly depends on the Historical period and place, because in the XVIIIth Century, italian serious operas were very tragical but they had to have a happy ending to be loved by the public. Something that was about redemption of the bad guy, triumph of love, virtue and faith.

Master Silmerion
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Sam)(ael
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Knight Assignment 4

Quote:
 
The following was written by someone who considers themself a follower of Sith beliefs. After reading it please write your own views on this topic and it's consequences as opposed to following Christ. Something to consider is: What did Jesus actually say about those who espouse this point of view? List any pertinent scripture references you can find.

Please post your answer in your introduction topic.


"I consider myself a follower of Sith beliefs, and speaking from my own point of view, I have this to say:

"Words such as "good" and "evil" have no meaning to me. They are nebulous terms created by man. These words do nothing more than serve as the choking social construct imposed on us by those in power. I believe it was Aleister Crowley that said, "Do as thou will shall be the whole of the law." I would temper that just a bit. I believe in doing whatever serves my own interests. Provided, that is, that the actions are rational. I do nothing with the intent of causing harm to others. I wish only to advance my own agenda. Pangs of conscience are not something that I wrestle with. If I see a course of action as a justified means to an end, then I'll take it. The intent of any action that I take is to serve whatever is in my best interest. Morality isn't an issue. I see morality as yet another meaningless element of the social construct.

"Bottom line: My philosophy is all about serving myself. No more, no less. I felt that the views of the Dark Side Adept (especially one who identifies with Sithism) should be heard to lend perspective to this matter. The stigma attached to the Sithist movement as a result of the Star Wars movies is nothing more than fiction.

"Modern day followers of Sith ideals are just self-focused people who wish to actualize their full potential. We're strong willed and independent and seek to elevate ourselves to the highest possible heights. I can not imagine a more noble pursuit than that."


I would tell this person if I had a chance that morality is a set of principles that do serve our own interests best but are also usually hard for man to understand or do because they go against some of our corrupted natures. The corrupt or choking social strictures you are talking about are often the social views that make ideas or morality so hard to hold to.

Do you realize that the social conformity you hate so much is what would pull you AWAY from morality? Being individual isn't about thinking foremost about yourself. Everyone does this, you as Sith have only made this a principle as opposed to a natural tendency. If you want to be truely powerful pulling yourself alone out of the wreckage is not too bad. Your desire to make yourself the best you can be is very noble depending on what you are willing to sacrifice for it. But the real truely powerful beings in the galaxy pull everyone up with them.

One drop of water raises the ocean. Truely powerful beings are the ones who raise the ocean many times more. You can't be one if you are always just one drop.

The main difference between Religious views and Sithism or other self-centered perspectives is that you call it as you see it and we obey. You say its fair because you are trying to make the best calls you can and even if you are wrong sometimes at the expense of others why worry? You did all you could. The hugeness of the difference is in attitude and ends. We are doing what you are by making our best calls, we care very much about other's pains, and the biggest difference: We believe that our own 'best interests' are served much better by obedience to our God. You see we think he knows better than we do. Considering how corrupt humans can get how can you argue. We are feeble. Even if we can't see the reasons why all the way to the end we bridge our own gaps of ignorance with obedience to a being who sees all ends. Why?

You as a mortal are flawed and you cannot avoid that. You must constantly, perpetually deal with that. No matter how many dark coatings of power you place on you beleaguered vehicle of 'self' rust will break out and fester under the surface. The itch of imperfection is your eternal plague. Because you give others no quarter when their own imperfections act up and being incurable as you are, you have also managed to garuntee that you deserve no quarter yourself. How sad.

We don't glorify our weakness. We realize that the only source of a cure must be in the divine and from a being already past imperfection. Even if we spiritual folk are wrong your hell is no better than ours. A harsh reality is better endured in company don't you think? If you should ever get tired of your existence of dust, grit, and the itch our forgiveness is perpetual, our love soothing. Like Jesus said, "My course is straight" and "my burden is light". What better promise do you have left to your own ends?

If religion is an illusion you have to ask yourself what better prospects you have got doomed to be what you are. Perhaps... Just maybe. If you came out and tried religion out for a while you might find that our hope isn't a need for escape from death or a delusion of our own superiority as the faithful, or a justification of our own ends, but truth and salvation every bit as real as we say. And if you came and really tried at least then you would know instead of pointing at something you have never tried and telling it to drop dead.

Be a real Sith. Save yourself... with the rest of us, because you are missing out.
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Sam)(ael
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Knight Assignment 5

"No Faith in this force"
-Orson Scott Card-

I don't agree with everything Orson Scott Card writes. In Shadow of Ender I cried. I had trouble handling the sheer ugliness of Bean's earliest experiences as a midget/intelligent toddler. I read that book through several times to strengthen myself but I can never accept a place like that in reality. I know it happens in THIS world but I would be willing to dedicate my life to making that particular level of ugliness go away forever.

That being said it was well-written as is this article and it connects with a lot of points with which real Jedi must come to grips.

The point is that the Jedi were certainly a heirarchy and not a religion for the people.

They did have no real allegience (Since all ties were so methodically severed) to the people though in some general terms they respected all life (but take a look at the body count on their part).

He also makes a strong point about how liberal both sides of the conflict are. Is there a real right and wrong or not? Think about it! Of course something isn't always right or always wrong for the most part but that does not cancel out the fact that things can be completely right or wrong. So many liberal-minded people seem to hide from their actions by debating morality itself while at the same time they ferociously aprobate religion when it promotes their views and proceed with an almost hokey sense of spirituality that comes out in green meetings but totally misses the populus.
In the movies it seems like all of the people getting ready to tip over to the dark side are the only ones who even pause to think about what is actually right. How strange. How does that not attack us stable, moral people? It seems like all sides in the SW universe are against us. Either the Jedi try to reindoctrinate us in selfrighteous certainty that they are right or the sith calculate how to use us in their own plans and twist what might actually right into some other evil. Sick. Disturbing. Very real.

He takes what I consider an accurate look at what lucas himself had to write to keep the liberal hollywood groups happy. I am not sure whether or not he believed it but you have to wonder why he would give in like that if he didn't considering his headstrong history which got him SW in the beginning.

He also mentions the somewhat absurd and general idea of a 'balance in the force' which no one seems to have any actual understanding of. Is it a balance of good and evil or just some general, wonderful, heavenly occurence? Forgive me some personal humor but isn't that also a very liberal thing? So many good intentions all made so vague that in the end they just do whatever thay want under the haze and look down their noses at all the uncivilized common people who don't agree.
I mean aren't ruminations from half alchohol-soaked movie stars applauded as visionary and thought provoking by the liberals while the rest of us desperately try to connect words to actions (if we can even understand it the first time it is said).
They are proclaimed visionary and the people who act like sister mary teresa but not as popular are called small-minded and undemocratic.
A thought. that has parallels to the Story. No?

He mentions one potent fact at the end among many others I could have mentioned that is important to us as real Jedi. He says that the force doesn't work. Think about that for a second. What would you say to him if you had a chance?
Now listen to me because I agree with him. Think about it. Can you lift a car or read another's mind? Nope. Can you life a pin? Maybe. But who's life are you going to save like that? Maybe an ant or something, but then I am sure you slaughter ants thoughtlessly so again what is the value?
Now I admit that the force can be used to do things but we are not talking anywhere near the levels you see in the movies. Our Anakin Skywalkers can toss a rubber ball around. So much for the chosen one right? Please do not be dismayed though. Do not fear or doubt for he makes a good point within the comments made that brought this forward.
You see it is US not the force that make the biggest difference. We Jedi have a common problem. Most orders spend hundreds of hours per Jedi trying to make the force work. Some of the more powerful get a few subtle powers down enough to be very useful but the rest doggedly try and try to get something like force lightning and many even fall to delusions or try new ideas like crystals or upside-down meditations until they have thousands of hours in vain effort and needle-sized results at best.
As real Jedi we should understand that there are MUCH more beneficial pursuits. How about a college education?!? In america alone we SUCK at education. So much money and so little real results? No wonder Japan has us on our knees in science and math and what have you. Jedi are no different. Your thousand hours with the force yields you comparatively nothing.
By all means discipline your mind, sharpen your awareness, but for heavens sake we definitaly need to re-evaluate our basics because the force is... Honestly. Not worth being a central study. I can accomplish more with an education any day. Vague spiritual feelings about how to get out of your cage is nothig compared to serious religious study and action. Have no doubts you can turn to worship or knowledge but the force can only do so much.
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Silmerion Skywalker
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You have done an awesome job.
I will answer to some of your thoughts because I don't fully agree with you on everything:
-Balance in the Force, comes from the Taoism culture of balancing Yin and Yang (including in ourselves), according to the Jedi views, it can be balance between Living Force and Unifying Force.
-Studying the Force can be central because the Force allows us to understand more everything in the universe and have a stronger relationship with God.
In these days, I often thought of how many persons the Jedi could have saved during the earthquake using TK...the point is as Jedi, we try TK for a week, a month, even 1 year or 2 and we say: it doesn't work, of course, as it is a lifetime work, even more than that. It isn't an accident that Yoda is the most powerful Jedi, Yoda was able to spend 800 years studying the Force, of course nobody can live 800 years but we can start a study that the next generations will continue. If we never start it, it will just never work while I think Force abilities are only human unused potential.
When I started to train my ESP abilities, I was unsure it would be a very Christian thing, then I had the first results: a better understanding of myself, inner calm, balance, focus, more positivity to help around. The Force abilities come as a result to an inner balance or a higher spiritual level, it is a gift for people who are on a path for enlightemnent, it isn't something we should strive to have, it just happens when it is meant to be, but we should be patient and train.

Master Silmerion
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Kai Stormwalker
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I have heard many cases where when I loved one was in danger someone was able to perform an act of seeming superhuman strength to save them. I remember once when a large tree fell on a child and the child's mother practically threw the tree aside to rescue the child.

Jesus seemed to use the Force when he performed miracles and he told his followers that they would be able to do the same things he had done and more.

I find your use of the word liberal to label people very disturbing. It sounds like a word you use to describe anyone who doesn't agree with you. A liberal is someone who believes in freedom, which is what Jesus said he came to give us. A conservative, on the other hand is someone who wants to maintain the status quo, to conserve things as they are. In Jesus' day the Pharisees were the conservatives and viewed Jesus as a liberal (which I guess he actually was).
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Sam)(ael
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Hahahahaha! Let me take a moment to enjoy my sense of humor fully.

Totally agree with you on the balance of the force Silmerion, Sadly the Jedi didn't realize that the balance is an eastern sense of balance, which meant 'not extreme' or basically healthy, and whole, balanced living. Not the western perspective of balance which is on a line with one side good and one side evil.
If the Jedi had been concerned with doing what was right OVER this prophecy they would never have gone the way they did. Superstition was a big distraction to their clarity and did Anakin no favors.

You and I Silmerion are also much more powerful than the average human with the force. We also know how to settle down and add a little to our skill each day instead of trying for it all in a week. Most people won't get as much as we do. even with good training technique.
(And honestly you and I are not neglecting education for the force either. You have always impressed me with your constant support and your own continuation of learning. Some younglings are seriously blowing their schooling off thinking the force is better. Honestly I think most people can exert knowledge more strongly than the force.)
I think that means I agree with you once again.

Master Kai, Conservatives are about preserving our freedoms. The usual problem is that every time a government makes a decision they take freedoms from the people. Every time they offer a solution it means more government employees and less real power for the people. If the Government starts really running the country it means don't any more. Its a balance between government command and the power of the people to reign in the government's natural greed. Conservatives understand that the government in a necessary evil and a dangerous friend. Think of it as keeping the balance healthy and resisting the natural greed of politicians.

At least in America. America isn't perfect but so far we don't have a better option (except rule under God which I guess most humans are not mature enough for yet) so we try to maintain what has worked so well. We already tried most other ways and believe me we aren't closed to new ideas. We just remember old mistakes.

Just because a new idea has style doesn't mean it has substance. That is how I have found a lot of ideas to be lately. And I always look at many sides of the issue before deciding. Its not like I am some half-stoned illiterate bum on the streat telling you about politics. I work hard to KNOW what I am talking about.

Believe me, I don't like labeling people, but have you looked at some of the crowd that sits on the liberal side? Jesus called the pharisees sinners and snakes because they were. He chased money changers out of the temple because they had 'evolved' beyond respecting the temple. He didn't support their freedom to be wicked did he? He seemed pretty conservative about the Laws God had set down for his people. In fact you could consider him the first perfect conservative.

Freedom to act does not make every action right. My definition of a sick liberal is anyone who has forgotten that. Not all liberals have forgotten that, but I am having trouble finding any healthy ones any more... and I am well connected. My words reflect the facts as I find them to be.

Tell me, do you believe things are right and wrong period? or that right and wrong are just what we consider them to be? I mean actual right and wrong not how we will be judged or the effects on others. Are there actual principles that don't just dissolve in the vague mists of opinion?
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Sam)(ael
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Knight Assignment 6

I get a lot of opportunities to serve and I have worked a little every once in a while to expand on them until I end up getting to do a lot for other people.

I Teach classes at church and have lead several church groups and contributed to many christian groups in highschool and other places with my testimony, support, and services. I have felt priviledged for these opportunities. I Have been pretty big on giving blood and being ready for first aid, leading to me saving two lives in critical injury cases. I am about to leave for two years to australia to teach and serve the people there. I have earned nearly $10,000 with which to do this over two years of my life which I could never have spent better. Despite all of this I have always been blessed far more. I could never return even a fraction of the debt I owe to God and even just other members of my life.

But these are not what I am going to really describe in this section. The one I am going to write about is dear to my heart. Its a priviledge and a very rewarding process and if it didn't so clearly make other people happy the enjoyment I get out of it would make it totally selfish of me to do.

I have had a lot of rough times. I don't say this as if I have a grudge or life was harder on me than it is on others because we all have struggles. Mine just happened to be very hard for me. I know now how it feels to want to lay down and die with no hope left. I know how it feels to have something so wrong in your life that you can't understand why other people can't hear you screaming on the inside. Problems so drastic they make you feel like you have never seen the real world before that day.

From these experiences my belief in God has become unshakable. My understanding of forgiveness and of the path of returning to Jesus from the dark is intimate. I remember every rock I passed crawling back up that slope for years.

Because I can feel so personally the situation others are in when these things happen and a life gets flipped upside down, I can help a lot. Not only have I been there but I have triumphed and I have a gift to share. My own, but more importantly Jesus Christ's. When I tell someone they ARE worth it, when I tell them Jesus STILL loves them perfectly as if nothing bad had happened they cannot seem to disbelieve me because of the strength of my own testimony there. Like the Spirit of God, my own gifts seem to make me a comforter and allow me to give strength to others.

I cannot tell you what a powerful experience it is. How grateful I am for each person I KNOW I may have been able to save. It only makes me more grateful that I myself have been saved many times.

I get these opportunities almost daily. Its like being a doctor in all of the right ways and with no political and legal garbage because God is omnipotent. Undisputed master of all. In his service I have been blessed beyond my own merit.

The look in a person's eyes when they go from dead to faintly seeing the light of hope again. Its like watching a sunrise. People come alive again all of the sudden and all of the good things you knew were there spark to life. Its like seeing someone resurected. You wonder afterwards how such a wonderful person could have been lost. Sometimes I wonder if I did anything at all. Sometimes I am there when a spiritual titan wakes up again from some great battle and I think how small I really am in the grand scape of things.

And yet with a God like the one I serve even someone like me can be helpful in big ways.

I could go on, but I will end with a challenge to anyone reading to pray for some understanding of your own gifts and then use your answers to dedicate yourself to God. Nothing will serve you better. Ever.
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Silmerion Skywalker
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Master Consular/Scholar/Healer
It is good you were able to go through your hard times and become stronger. I personally lived a very similar thing, when I lost my father, I felt lost, I think I could have died without Jesus. This was the first time I had really experienced the Holy Spirit, in the hardest time of my life. This made me able to understand people more deeply, and I really think that it is a gift God makes us when we most need help.

I'm sure you will benefit many persons during your missions, physically and spiritually.

Master Silmerion
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