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| Hell is other people; True or not? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 4 2007, 07:40 AM (624 Views) | |
| Eral | May 4 2007, 07:40 AM Post #1 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I have started a new job, and am in the process of discovering all the different personality quirks of the people I work with. I am a very tribal person: I love being part of a group, and having a sense of belonging is a factor that contributes positively to my happiness. I am very good at accommodating others, understanding their view and resolving problems. In RL. Just in case Joe is having a conniption fit. However, I am very bad at sucking up and doing things solely to please others. It has been my experience, that work mates are happy if you can do the first bunch of things, and are more than happy to pay you the same respect. Bosses however, seem to want you to do the second one. :'( I have three bosses. I know already this is bad. My immediate boss is more like a work mate: the second boss, I am trying to nod a lot and stay away from; the third boss is still on leave, but apparently strategy 2 will work with him. Fingers crossed. The good thing about my job as special needs teacher is that I can fly under the radar of the two problematic bosses most of the time. The other woman in my team is the biggest backstabber I have ever worked with. :o On my first day, she made 4 statements/insinuations about other staff. 4!! And she didn't even know me!! And I didn't know any of the people she was talking about!! I am currently maintaining a neutral position: I sympathise with her feelings and the person she is dissing. I have identified the people I should: 1. avoid any conflict with because they will win 2. avoid adding to their stress levels because the puddle on the floor will not be pretty 3. avoid any of their jokes because of my G-rating. I'm finding it all quite enjoyable. |
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| lara | May 5 2007, 03:51 AM Post #2 |
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Kopi Luwak
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Well, I was going to point something out, but you already said it in your last sentence. |
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| Eral | May 5 2007, 11:02 PM Post #3 |
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Kopi Luwak
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The personalities are most interesting, because nearly everyone has been there for ten years or more, so they all know each other really well, and it's a bit like a family where people have little spats and on-going gripes but everything still runs. The back stabber is my biggest problem. She keeps trying to rope me in to support her when she is targeting a victim face to face. Calls for some fancy foot-work, as I state the reasonable bit of her argument, followed rapidly by the reason why her target can ignore her. She seems to think I am Dark Side, like her. She is also doing things like engaging me in conversation when Boss No.2 is speaking, so we can both look disrespectful. :angry: I forsee a time when I earn her enemity by having to come out and say "I will never do that, Kreia" and spend the rest of my life fending off her pet lightsabers.
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| lara | May 6 2007, 05:29 PM Post #4 |
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Kopi Luwak
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You are having way too much fun. |
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| Krazy | May 6 2007, 07:17 PM Post #5 |
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I haz powah!
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Yeah, seems like it, although if it was me, I'd start getting a dictating machine and record everything Backstabber says to compile a dossier against her. Then when the time is right backstab the Backstabber. Devious and much more fun. |
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| Eral | May 8 2007, 08:35 AM Post #6 |
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Kopi Luwak
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That is inspired, Krazy. :lol: I shall now be even more careful when speaking to Backstabber, lest she have any recording devices whirring away. I am having fun. As more and more of my students fall under the spell of my charm, the teaching is getting easier too. The least fun thing is establishing myself as a recognisable Teacher with kids who aren't my students and want to test me out. :rolleyes: So tedious. Sample: "Are you supposed to be in the corridor?" Flounce, bridle. "I'm just *insertexcuse*" "Yes, I can see that. Are you supposed to be in the corridor?" Roll eyes, huff loudly at the injustice. "But the other teachers *insertexcuse*" "How sad for you I'm not them. Are you supposed to be in the corridor?" Flounce, bridle, roll eyes, slump sort of shamefacedly. "No." "Out you go then." Walk off muttering loudly at the injustice. Grade 6. It's a delicate time. |
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| Eral | Jun 23 2007, 02:44 AM Post #7 |
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Kopi Luwak
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Boss No.3 has returned from leave.
And yes, he has discovered that I am Not Like Other People and is horrified by this. Boss No.1 thinks I am great because she sees me in action and knows I am good at my job. Boss No.2 is coming round because she is not allergic to enthusiasm and has been known to put her foot in her mouth on the odd occasion and senses kinship with me (and her pet curriculum area is one I am interested in developing in my program, and I ask her for advice) but Boss No.3, he's a toughie. I had seen the complete lack of enthusiasm for his return evinced by everyone, and heard people discussing him in tones from <_< to but had no real inter-action with him.He took me to task yesterday for not being calm and controlled enough in my manner when forced to keep a mob of particularly feral Grade 6's at bay for two hours the previous day. (Unable to get sympathy from their classroom teacher, or from the teacher next door, the two offenders decided to complain to him that I had raised my voice and wouldn't listen to them. <_< My cruelty knows no bounds.) He did this by waving his arms around and raising his voice in distress, which made me feel better, because people who stay utterly calm in discussions really annoy me. "That's not how we do things here! *swing arm wildly* We are professionals, who remain calm!*get red in the face* I have never heard of a teacher saying 'sit down and breathe quietly if you want to live beyond the next ten minutes' to a child before in all my teaching experience!*gasp for breath because it was a really long sentence*" Now that's OK, when The Boss decides You Are Wrong, you say "sorry, I will try to not do it again" and hurry away obsequieously. But then he insinuated that my objection to the behaviour of the children was due to anti-Semitism. It occured to me later that I could have pointed out I would have to be a very masochistic anti-Semite if that was the case, but you only think of really good responses afterwards. Boss No.1 went and had a little chat with him after I showed up in her office and used up a few tissues, and he swiftly back-pedalled on the anti-Semitism: but it's clear he doesn't hold adoring-type feelings for me. Luckily, he is leaving at the end of the next term - to go to my old school :o where he will be very happy though none of the staff will be - but I was just getting comfy, and now I have to go back to being on my best behaviour. I hate being on my best behaviour. Also, the next boss might be worse.
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| lara | Jun 23 2007, 03:51 AM Post #8 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I hate being on my best behaviour, too. I have completed six months of my nine-month probation. The last two weeks have been very trying. Writers are sometimes very much like children, except they aren't, so my respect has to be more measured and if I want to keep a good working relationship, I am not allowed to admonish. I remember one time when I was working a summer day camp and my co-worker and I drank together at a punk club the night before. The children (aged about 6 to 12) of course chose that day to be on their absolutely worst behaviour, and they were a bit spoiled with a couple who really didn't want to go to day camp (but were sent because it was cheap childcare) ringleaders among the bad lot (I still feel bad for the good lot). My co-worker was trying to explain a game they could play while I set up a science experiment in the kitchen, and I could hear her repeatedly repeating herself in the gym, where the kids were scattered about a circle on the floor. I lost it. I walked into the gym and yelled, "I want EVERY nose on the red line NOW." The kids slammed their faces on the floor immediately. "Vanessa has been TRYING to explain this game for FIFTEEN MINUTES. It should have taken THREE. You will SIT LIKE THIS for FIFTEEN minutes without MAKING A SINGLE SOUND. If I hear another sound, I will start the fifteen minutes over again. If you are still lying with your faces on the floor when your parents come, I WILL TELL THEM WHY." I didn't have to start over at any point. They were reasonably well-behaved for the next couple of hours. They certainly looked at me carefully. |
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| Regullus | Jun 23 2007, 02:11 PM Post #9 |
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Reliant
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Anti-Semitic?!!! Seems like an odd digression. What did he say: "I know you're Catholic but you must learn to curb your prejudices! "
People are odd. When's term over?I once said in a riding lesson, "If you kick the pony one more time in the side, Kiddo, I'm going to kick you." That was after he was repeatedly asked not to kick the pony. My friend, the schoolteacher, was appalled. "You never say things like that! Very bad!" It worked, he stopped kicking and he seemed to think it was pretty funny. I never found out why it was such a bad thing to say. I think what I was supposed to say was, "If you kick the pony again... The lesson is over." Something to do with concrete consequences. I also believe you're not supposed to threaten children with bodily harm or implied bodily harm even 'feral' ones. :( :D |
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| Bex | Jun 23 2007, 04:37 PM Post #10 |
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puppet dictator
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The noses on the red line bit is exactly something my mother would have done. Every kid in the neighbourhood would behave for my mother. It made no difference whether they had parents that believed in spanking or not, they'd listen to my Mom. |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| Eral | Jun 24 2007, 12:56 AM Post #11 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I like the noses on the red line. Harsh. :lol: I don't know if I could pull that one off. I usually settle for "Eyes... on... me" spoken firmly and a notch lower than my usual lilting tone. Counting is good too. It's especially effective if you make your tone more menacing the higher the numbers get - you never need to go past 11. Regullus' teacher friend states the correct consequence for kicking: however Regullus' response to the boy expresses her feelings on the matter. There are many people who frown on expressing your feelings to children. I think once the relationship is established it's quite all right. Discipline is boring. After a while of saying the same things to the same kids, I like to embellish. "Are you going to settle down and do your work, or am I going to have to scoop out your brain, smear it on toast and make you eat it?" It's shorthand for "do I have to get cranky before you start work?" What can I say? I'm a performer and drama queen: and making children laugh is also an effective discipline strategy. And there is always someone who is horrified because they would never do that. What shits me is, someone like Backstabber who is plain nasty to the kids would pass their inspection. I was kind of surprised by the introduction of the topic of anti-Semitism myself. It blossomed during the "we don't do things that way here" part of it.* He suggested a false accusation made against me by a kid was further proof of my failure to be 'we'. I was somewhat miffed by this, (Ok, really pissed off but I remained calm and professional) and I suggested that allowing kids to come in and complain about me when I'm not there was unfair: that some of the children were priveledged and had a strong sense of entitlement, and might not be acknowledging their own faults. He got red in the face and said I was making sweeping generalisations, what basis did I have for such statements, he found them very untrue, I should examine the reason I was harbouring such unfair thoughts. I said, "I'm not a racist", he said "Who mentioned racism? I'm not the one making sweeping generalisations", and then I asked if we could finish the discussion. One more week of term to go. Then 10 more weeks of being very nice and quiet in the staffroom. Followed by another 10 weeks, with a new Boss No.3 of being very nice and quiet. I may spontaneously combust. *NB: Oh yes we do. Sweet gentle Gr 5 teacher giving instructions to kids, one not listening and playing with a pen, she turns and bellows "Will you stop doing that???!", kid drops pen in startlement, and she continues giving instructions sweetly and gently. :lol: Boss No.3 himself was beside himself with rage last week with a kid who had punched and kicked another child in full view of half her class, and then point-blank denied it. The child doing the denying was the same one who made the false accusation against me. <_< |
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| Eral | Aug 31 2007, 11:24 PM Post #12 |
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Kopi Luwak
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The axe has fallen.
:( Boss No.3, sensing that his time is drawing near has gotten in early. I received a letter in my pigeon-hole on Thursday informing me that there would not be a position for me next year, due to a review of staffing. I am very sad. I was going to post in "Feeling Like Crap", but I want to leave some room for Nibby. It is especially poignant, because the Replacement Boss No.3 has been announced, and I know him, and he's a good bloke. There was a good chance I would survive under his reign. I was somewhat upset upon opening The Letter. Boss No.2 attempted to console me. "You knew the position was only until the end of the year. Let's look at it in context." I am now longing to say to her, "You should get fucked" and then tell her to put it in context.
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| Regullus | Sep 1 2007, 01:21 AM Post #13 |
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Reliant
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Oh, Eral, I am sorry!
:( You can always tell boss #2 to get fucked after you gain new employment and the ink is dry on a new contract (BTW, best use of a smilie evar in the history of CT! :titter:) I'm having some hell is other people days too, must be something the air. :rolleyes: Something better will come along. Don't worry. :) |
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| lara | Sep 1 2007, 01:58 AM Post #14 |
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Unregistered
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Sorry, Eral. Perhaps the upside will be a fabulous job with no nasty boss next year. |
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| lara | Sep 1 2007, 01:59 AM Post #15 |
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Unregistered
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I used counting on my daughter for the first time not very long ago. I just did it automatically - it's something my mother always did - without explaining it to her. She had done what I wanted before I reached four. Kinda creepy. |
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| Bex | Sep 1 2007, 02:18 AM Post #16 |
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puppet dictator
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Let's all hope. And if the other bosses are so er... spineless? then maybe it's not the best place to be working anyway. Still... ish... what a shame. |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| Krazy | Sep 1 2007, 07:25 AM Post #17 |
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I haz powah!
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Sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed for the next job. |
| "Well, ‘course dis one’s betta! It’s lotz ‘eavier, and gots dem spikey bitz on de ends. " | |
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| Eral | Sep 1 2007, 09:15 AM Post #18 |
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Kopi Luwak
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Regullus, thanks for the compliment, but I think the credit should go to the creator of the range of smileys. Which would be you.
:) I won't be looking for a new job when my contract ends. I shall devote my life to writing fanfic, and driving my dad to his hospital appointments, and having a lunch steak sandwich with him at the RSL. And mind Niece No.4 for my sister-in-law. The prospect of free child minding might make the arrival of Niece/Nephew No.5 a happening thing.
:) |
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| Regullus | Sep 1 2007, 03:29 PM Post #19 |
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Reliant
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Sounds like a good plan. Speaking of writing, have you ever considered trying your hand at writing, such as articles, short stories or even longer fiction or non-fiction? I knew a woman who started off submitting articles to a variety of publications and evolved a minor career writing books geared to a Christian pov - not suggesting that - and has at this point written a slew of short books: Elizabeth Hoekstra The Only Book I've Read - Very Short I don't think she is necessarily self supporting but I'm sure money is made. Anyway, you, Eral, are literate, amusing and educated, I can only assume you would have some success with diligence. Doesn't look bad on the resume either. Also, how about a blog? There is a template blog that's very easy to set up but the ad revenue goes to the creator of the template. The big goal is to get enough traffic to interest advertisers but I would think if Mr FPS knows how to improve google's search ability, I'm sure he would have suggestions to increase traffic to a blog. Just since I've known you, you've voiced and sang in a mod, dealt with employment issues, alzheimer and other aging issues, traveled to swanky resorts, indulged in a flamewar and many other activities of interest to all especially if amusingly told. |
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| Eral | Sep 1 2007, 10:53 PM Post #20 |
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Kopi Luwak
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CT is my blog. Have you been talking to Mr.FPS? He thinks I should become a novelist, too. (He wants that sports car.) My biggest problem will be dealing with the anxiety of not contributing. If I'm not working, I feel obliged to do the housework properly.
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| Regullus | Sep 2 2007, 04:09 PM Post #21 |
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Reliant
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That's the beauty of writing, you are contributing. After all, looking after your father and niece #4 during the day and sweating over the keyboard at night is work and you can hardly be expected to keep up with the chores.
If Mr FPS wants a sports car, you do have to be allowed to concentrate and not be distracted by the minutiae of dust bunnies! <_< |
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| Nibsi | Sep 2 2007, 08:51 PM Post #22 |
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Te zijner tijd
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I'm really sorry to hear that Eral, but it seems that you are already dealing with it well. Heh, I thank you for keeping a spot open for me in the feel bad thread, but I'm not so sure I'm the most space consuming person. In other news, uni is starting again tomorrow and I'm itching. |
| -Nibby | |
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| Eral | Sep 8 2007, 01:28 AM Post #23 |
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Kopi Luwak
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Regullus, if only he would see it that way.
:( His real concern is that I will get depressed sitting around "doing nothing." Maleness prevents him from articulating that clearly*, and so he comes across as concerned about finances. *No, I haven't Manly Pinked that. Because it's true. Nibby, the sad truth is this has become such a regular event in my life that I am used to it. "Sacked again? Oh well. :rolleyes: " Also, I have perfected the technique of expressing my true feelings of despair and sorrow cheerfully. Bringing other people down is rude. ![]() Oh, I have to take back my remark that I would have survived under Replacement Boss No.3. Two weeks ago Backstabber heard him offering the maths part of my job to another staff member.
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| Eral | Oct 13 2007, 02:26 AM Post #24 |
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Kopi Luwak
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Replacement Boss.No.3 has redeemed himself in my eyes, and is once again wearing his Good Bloke status. He has been to The Big Head and asked for a reprieve for me.
It isn't a done deal, but The Big Head is considering that I was Unfairly Treated, and the reasoning behind the goodbye was Biased and Wrong. :) I so love justice. And, if I am going to be judged on my teaching ability, I have a very good chance at employment next year. The real hero is my Boss.No 1, who came back from leave and commenced rescue operations.
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| Krazy | Oct 13 2007, 08:52 AM Post #25 |
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I haz powah!
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Cool.
B) Hope the rescue operation succeeds. |
| "Well, ‘course dis one’s betta! It’s lotz ‘eavier, and gots dem spikey bitz on de ends. " | |
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She is also doing things like engaging me in conversation when Boss No.2 is speaking, so we can both look disrespectful. :angry: I forsee a time when I earn her enemity by having to come out and say "I will never do that, Kreia" and spend the rest of my life fending off her pet lightsabers.
but had no real inter-action with him.
It worked, he stopped kicking and he seemed to think it was pretty funny. I never found out why it was such a bad thing to say.
Harsh. :lol: I don't know if I could pull that one off. I usually settle for "Eyes... on... me" spoken firmly and a notch lower than my usual lilting tone. Counting is good too. It's especially effective if you make your tone more menacing the higher the numbers get - you never need to go past 11.
I shall devote my life to writing fanfic, and driving my dad to his hospital appointments, and having a lunch steak sandwich with him at the RSL. And mind Niece No.4 for my sister-in-law. The prospect of free child minding might make the arrival of Niece/Nephew No.5 a happening thing.
:)


8:40 AM Jul 11