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| Women re: men in positions of "authority" | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 8 2007, 05:28 AM (562 Views) | |
| Joe | May 8 2007, 05:28 AM Post #1 |
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Coffea Canephora
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Is it easier for females to become attracted to men who occupy roles that are "above" them? I'm not really talking about bosses or that kind of thing, but more about tutor/tutee, teacher/student, mentor/protege, pastor/churchgoer. Do women have a particular vulnerability to men they feel are helpful, or "taking care" of them in some way? |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Eral | May 8 2007, 10:10 AM Post #2 |
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Kopi Luwak
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My initial response is that it's an over-generalisation or simplification, but perhaps it is described by transactional analysis best: a parent/child aspect to the relationship, where one person provides security or nurturing or abdication of responsibility to the other. I don't believe it is particular to women: although we are presented with more examples of women seeking an older/stable/wiser partner. Freudians would say women with a father-fixation choose authority figures: but it pains me deeply to give any credit to Freud. I read an article not long ago discussing the different needs men and women have in a relationship, and while I accepted some things, others seemed bogus to me. Women: affection conversation honesty and openess financial commitment family commitment Men: sexual fulfillment recreational companionship attractive spouse domestic support admiration I think the difficulty for me is perceiving any of these needs as gender-based. Also, these ideas are predicated on the notion of relationships as static, not fluid: and that doesn't sit well with my experience or knowledge. |
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| Bex | May 8 2007, 02:21 PM Post #3 |
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puppet dictator
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Oh sweet merciful crap. Depends on the individual. It also depends on the individual whether this is healthy, some kind of psychological fixation, or just a coincidence. It's no more fair to ask this question about women than to ask if all men are looking for someone they can dominate, or even someone they can "take care of." Because they're obviously not. |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| Joe | May 8 2007, 02:58 PM Post #4 |
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Coffea Canephora
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But I didn't ask if all women are looking for this, I only asked if it was easier for them to be in that situation. I am wondering if they are more *susceptible*, just like men are more susceptible to other situations. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Regullus | May 8 2007, 04:05 PM Post #5 |
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Reliant
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Be more specific. As the question was asked, no, I don't think some women (girls) are particularly susceptible to a helpful teacher/mentor type relationship. An individual may be suspectible to certain types of relationships for a variety of reasons. Here's a male situation that Hollywood insists the male is susceptible to: The pretty young babysitter enters the employer's study and erotically removes her dress offering her nubile nakedness to him. The man is so overcome with desire her forgets his wife, his children, statutory rape laws, societal disapprobation and ravages the willingly offered succulent morsel. |
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| Bex | May 8 2007, 04:06 PM Post #6 |
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puppet dictator
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Easier? More susceptible? Again, it's too much of a generalization, I think. From my personal perspective, I consider the circumstances you outlined awkward, and even inappropriate. My preference is for an even footing. While I may admire an individual from whom I feel I can learn something, such feelings are unlikely to be combined with romantic impulses. |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| Joe | May 8 2007, 11:28 PM Post #7 |
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Coffea Canephora
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You're right, I was too general. Say the woman is emotionally vulnerable. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Drew | May 8 2007, 11:33 PM Post #8 |
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Apparently not Cybersquirt's favorite person
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Getting promoted and trying to find out if it'll get you more tail, Joe? |
| Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cyber. | |
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| Joe | May 9 2007, 12:39 AM Post #9 |
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Coffea Canephora
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OH YES |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| lara | May 9 2007, 03:48 AM Post #10 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I'm inclined to say this is a question of socialization - of the women in question and/or of our perception of such things. Women take young men in hand and have relationships with them, but the young men don't tend to be seen as looking for someone to take care of them. Like as not, the young men's peers congratulate them, and the women are seen as sexual educators. I would guess that in many ways, the psychology of the women/boy relationships isn't all that much different from that of the men/girl relationships. |
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| Eral | May 9 2007, 09:47 AM Post #11 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I am extremely upset that I wasted my energy being very calm and measured when I could have given in to my first impulse and said :lol: If you are asking are we pathetic and needy and clingy and lacking in self respect, I think we can resoundingly say "no." I think it obvious none of us were going to ever say women are, at all. I am wondering why you are asking us, but don't tell me, I don't really want to know. It's a stereotype. The young woman is viewed as being "taken care of" by the older man, because women are meant to be vulnerable and innocent and to avoid learning experiences because it is only youth that is attractive. The young man is viewed as being "educated" because men are meant to be strong and in charge and age and experience adds to their value. :rolleyes: |
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| Regullus | May 9 2007, 02:02 PM Post #12 |
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Reliant
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It's an individual thing or even in some societies, a societal thing but otherwise it's not specific to gender. I also think while it's a gender stereotype it's a rare gender stereotype in the West at least in my experience. People do all sorts of things. |
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| Bex | May 9 2007, 04:42 PM Post #13 |
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puppet dictator
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Your restraint has been admirable. I'm proud. "Sweet merciful crap" is a phrase I gleefully appropriated from an older bottomless scroll case mod for BG2, made by some guy named Craig(?). |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| Joe | May 9 2007, 11:20 PM Post #14 |
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Coffea Canephora
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I don't understand the hostile replies. I really don't. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Drew | May 9 2007, 11:59 PM Post #15 |
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Apparently not Cybersquirt's favorite person
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As the only other dude here, I would feel remiss not to point out that I understand the hostility....... But I have no real desire to explain it to you. In fact, I think I'm just going to grab some popcorn and watch the until you figure it out on your own.
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| Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cyber. | |
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| Joe | May 10 2007, 12:22 AM Post #16 |
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Coffea Canephora
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I never said or implied that women are pathetic, or that they are more pathetic than men. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Drew | May 10 2007, 12:23 AM Post #17 |
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Apparently not Cybersquirt's favorite person
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:D |
| Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cyber. | |
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| Joe | May 10 2007, 12:32 AM Post #18 |
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Coffea Canephora
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Alright. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| lara | May 10 2007, 03:39 AM Post #19 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I don't think I saw any hostile replies. |
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| Joe | May 10 2007, 04:42 AM Post #20 |
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Coffea Canephora
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You must not have read the thread, then. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Krazy | May 10 2007, 08:16 AM Post #21 |
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I haz powah!
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Well as another dude, I didn't post in this thread, because quite frankly I didn't have anything to say on the matter. I have been quite content to sit back and see how the women reacted though. :D |
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| Bex | May 10 2007, 02:17 PM Post #22 |
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puppet dictator
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"Sweet merciful crap" is not, and has never been, a hostile phrase. In case there was any question about that. Much of hostility is in perception, unless someone is actively trying to stab you in the kidneys. |
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I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should, but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed. -Min Jin Lee | |
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| lara | May 11 2007, 03:35 AM Post #23 |
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Kopi Luwak
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I was thinking about it after I posted that, and perhaps Drew's posts could be taken as hostile. I just thought the rest were discussion. Heck, by my family's/friends' standards, Drew's posts aren't hostile and the rest of us are downright jocular. Was I perceived as hostile? |
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| Joe | May 11 2007, 06:24 AM Post #24 |
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Coffea Canephora
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No. |
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In the shadow of the light from a black sun Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing | |
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| Krazy | May 11 2007, 11:59 AM Post #25 |
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I haz powah!
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I haven't seen anything I would class as hostile either. But I would ask what got Joe to ask in the first place. Seems a fairly abstract thing to just ask out of nowhere, so I'm guessing something initiated this. Of course I could be totally wrong, but that's my thoughts on it and it might provide some context for the discussion. |
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until you figure it out on your own.

8:54 AM Jul 11