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Social graces
Topic Started: Feb 5 2008, 08:00 AM (1,694 Views)
Inky
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Thai
*tents fingers* Eeexcellent. What's bringing you over the pond?
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Nibsi
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Te zijner tijd
Holiday!

I was planning on maybe going to England or Sweden or something, but my folks were going to the States and they asked me if I felt like coming with them. Well, who am I to decline eh?

We'll probably be visiting the west coast. We've been there a few years back, I enjoyed Cali but good. Las Vegas was really awesome as well, I hope we'll be going there again as well, but my mom wasn't too charmed by the place.
-Nibby
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Inky
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Thai
Yeah, Vegas takes a certain mindset to enjoy properly.

This is my neck of the woods, offers slightly less hedonistic and excessive pleasures. (exceptmybedroomohmyyes)

http://www.ecofuturesbuilding.com/files/photos/boulder.jpg

http://users.tkk.fi/~tjkarvin/kuvat2/boulder.jpg
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Burgundy
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Used to be alright; what happened?
Which means you still haven't visited me, or indeed the county I live in.

We need tourists...badly.
"Though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." Alfred, Lord Tennyson - Ulysses
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Nibsi
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Te zijner tijd
What do you mean? I've been to England more than I like :P

No seriously though, I'm still planning on coming to England somewhere this year, if I can find the time.
-Nibby
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Eral
Kopi Luwak
Inky, if you are going to corrupt my Nibby, make sure you do it carefully. Don't break any of his good bits. I have decided to let you have his body, but only if you promise to look after it. (This comment should be read after the one in Random Chat. This is what happens when we have the same conversation all over the place. Confused sequence.:eral:)

You certainly live in a purty place. :wub:

It's a sad fact that as blokes get older, once is enough. Though he may be fearing system failure, I'm sure your enthusiasm is bolstering his ego: so it should all be good. :lol:
Umm, Regullus, the father owns the ice-cream factory now. :rolleyes: And under no circumstances should Inky suggest erectile dysfunction meds. Good God! Now that's a way to insult a bloke! :faint: She should only say that if she wants shot of him. :ph43r:
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Inky
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Thai
One of my longtime friends and ex-boyfriends uses those meds. Years ago Young And Foolish Inky flippantly said something along the lines of "No, I don't mind that you're older, as long as you don't have to, like, use Viagra or something." Imagine the shock I got when cleaning the bathroom...

And I would only treat Nibby with the utmost care. He is too handsome and sweet to abuse!
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Nibsi
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Te zijner tijd
OMG I'm being fought over again!

I do like the attention though :D
-Nibby
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lara
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Kopi Luwak
Heehee, we know, and we like that you appreciate it. :)
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Burgundy
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Used to be alright; what happened?
Yeah if you manage to find yourself out of the limits of London and Stonehenge, you can tell me or Tweak.
"Though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." Alfred, Lord Tennyson - Ulysses
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Eral
Kopi Luwak
I am going to a funeral today, the friend of my dad and the dad of my friend. He was 84.
Why am I posting in Social Graces?

Well.
1. My dad and his my friend's dad used to drink together. "Career alcoholics" is perhaps a kind way of describing them. Causes huge resentment in offspring when your dad does that. My dad's friend had 12 children.
2. A selection of my dad's friend's children decided he wasn't allowed to drink any more, in the last few months of his life. My dad ignored the intervention order and smuggled wine in to him even while he was in hospital. This cause some crossness amongst the family. Who expressed themselves rather fully on the subject to my sisters. Why they thought we could stop our dad from doing anything he wanted while he can still walk, I don't know. However.
3. My dad will respond to his sadness over the death of his friend by getting langers today. Indeed, he believes it would be disrespectful to stay sober.
4. The 12 siblings still have a load of unresolved issues brewing. Actually, not brewing, fully cooked right out there in public. My friend is finding it all pretty distressing. She usually lives on the other side of the world, because 11 siblings and an alcoholic father is too much for her.

It's going to be a wake with a lot going on under the surface.


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Bex
puppet dictator
Oh, well. Yes. Good luck.
I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should,
but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed.
-Min Jin Lee
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Inky
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Thai
Yikes. Well, surely none of them blame you for the influence your fathers had on each other? It seems the only thing to do is keep your father clear of his friend's children. Hopefully they will all have the sense to keep clear of him.
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Eral
Kopi Luwak
Dad stayed sober. :)
A lot of women came up and gave condolences about mum and you don't get maggotted while you are talking to a woman giving you condolences. It's a rare occasion when dad's ethics lead him into behaving well. :) :)
The family members who hold dad responsible didn't speak to him, but a bunch of the others all made an effort to spend a bit of time with him, and he was very honoured. He didn't say anything narky about any of the children the whole day. :) :) :) OK, just one, but it was a passing remark.
The family tensions were very well-disguised, a few very very polite and brief conversations between warring siblings. The priest talked about the father's absence from home, and expressed the mother's acceptance of this. You could feel the emotion at that point, but I was very glad to know they've forgiven him. It was a beautiful service. :) :) :) :) :bye2:

His drinking was only mentioned as a fondness for whisky. Some things are too tough to say at a funeral, I guess. :ouch:

At the burial, his children and grandchildren all got shovels and took turns filling the grave. We were standing with a bunch of other Cork men and women and were somewhat startled, this not being a tradition anyone was familiar with. There was a round of WTFook???s before one man settled the enigma. "Ah, he was from Kerry, wasn't he." They all nodded sagely. My sisters and I were still unenlightened, but everyone else was satisfied. Later, when I inquired as to why being from Kerry would explain it, the tradition is from the "back country". Kerry is apparently, a back county. Cork is very much a town county. My dad was astonished I didn't know that. :lol:
Just in case anyone thinks my dad explained it, don't be silly. I asked my friend. The information that Kerry is back country came from Dad, though. :rolleyes: (Mum would have said "the bogs". Well, only some days later, and she would have hastened to point out that our friend was a very eddicated man. But ooh! Mum saying something rude! ^_^ )

As we were leaving the pseudo-wake, the mother of the family asked me how dad was doing, and ordered me to look after him. (I think some maternal instructions were given re. dad and any crossness felt.) Gaels really are the best people in the world. The most irritating at times, but the best. :hanky:

PS: I am now officially placing a ban on any deaths for the next two years. :knight:
I also feel a strong urge to hang around with four year olds for a while.
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lara
Unregistered

Here's my four-year-old anecdote for you, Eral.

My marvelous husband commissioned a painting for me for Christmas. The artist is a friend and is currently working on it. The background will be a map of our neighbourhood, with a foreground of items that have meaning for me - a white gladiola (our wedding flower) in a vase I bought for myself, my daughter's early walking footwear, a cup of tea and - Old Belle, the much-loved cow. My daughter is beside herself at giving up her Belle for a day, even though she's tickled that Belle will have her portrait done. One of the ways she expresses her upset is by saying Pooky, the No. 2 stuffed animal, will miss Belle. The day before yesterday, in a last-ditch effort to convince me, she wailed, "But Pooky will feel left out!" (I gather she would like a portrait of herself.) She then decided that she had better paint a portrait of Pooky so he wouldn't feel left out. (She is quite determined that she will become a painter.) I got her easel out of the basement and set her up, with Pooky (an orange koala bear - very floppy) sitting for her on a stool. The painting is wonderful. Perhaps I will take a photo of it and post it for all of you.

And I'm glad things went well, Eral.
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Regullus
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Reliant
Yes, Yes! PHOTOS! :hyper: We could start a new thread for photos. :yup:

Geez, Eral, I know you've been busy and all but where are the fishpond/fish photos?
tempus_teapot
 
I'd like to add that at this point I have taken my Spider Jerusalem action figure and tied his wrist to my Cassidy (from Preacher) action figure just so I can work out which positions are feasible with them and which aren't.

Read that and weep, internet. Weep!

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Eral
Kopi Luwak
Pooky. :) These are the things that make hanging around with four year olds so eminently rewarding.

Mr.FPS is claiming he doesn't remember how to upload photos. <_< He started back on day shift this week :nana: and has taken some time adjusting to an 8 hour day that begins at 6:00 am. In other words, he has been too cranky. He has gone off to collect a new computer chair, and should be pretty happy when he gets back, and I shall urge - oh, let's be truthful, nag him some more. I'll tell him I won't show him the pictures of Callie until he does. ;D
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Inky
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Thai
First off, Lara, I would like to see Katya's painting, please and thank you.

So I've found a new male interest. I'll pause while you all gasp in shock and amazement.

He's been on the radar for a while, we work at the same store, though in different departments so we pretty much have to go out of our way to see each other. He's almost two years younger than I am, gorgeous, fit, funny, and incredibly sweet, the kind of guy who flirts with little old ladies as much as busty co-eds. We climb together once in a while, and get along well, although we haven't spent enough time together to really get to know each other. Signs point to him being at least mildly interested, but it's hard to tell. His birthday's this weekend, and I decided against plunking myself in his lap, have decided to continue acting like myself because hey, I AM pretty cool after all. I plan to wear a dress that'll show off my curves, at least, because I'm concerned that I could fall into "one of the guys" territory if I'm not careful.

Anyway, since I tend to manage my romantic affairs pretty clumsily, I wanted to check with y'all to see if this sounds like an appropriate course of action, if I should be slightly more assertive, what.
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lara
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Kopi Luwak
Well, sounds good to me, I think. Long as he's not secretly an axe-murderer or something. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) A dress and curves is nice. Subtle is good to start, imo. Special smiles, lingering eyes, sitting with him -- all the junior high school stuff, but in an adult way. See what happens. Let him see you that way and let it grow.
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Regullus
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Reliant
I agree w/lara, see how it plays and take it easy. :) I want a picture or at least a description of the dress.

Hope it goes well.

tempus_teapot
 
I'd like to add that at this point I have taken my Spider Jerusalem action figure and tied his wrist to my Cassidy (from Preacher) action figure just so I can work out which positions are feasible with them and which aren't.

Read that and weep, internet. Weep!

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Inky
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Thai
Okay, I'll see if I can get a half-decent picture some time this week. Maybe I'll post a few and have y'all help pick. Maybe it's a little sad that all my good girly friends are online, but there you have it. All my local friends are men or women who say "A dress? Why on earth would you wear a dress?"
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Eral
Kopi Luwak
This is excellent. Two years younger. The very thing. :)

:hyper: It's been ages since we helped someone choose a frock. I'm ready.

"Taking it slow" is very good advice. I have never been able to follow it, though. I am a lap plunker. I have found the middle ground is to say "I like you, let's do dinner". I prefer a direct approach.
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Bex
puppet dictator
I'm pretty much in Eral's camp. Subtlety has never been a strong point with me. A keeper was defined as the man who did not run screaming in terror from my attentions.

Middle ground sounds good though.
I belong to one of those families that does not speak to or see its members as often as we should,
but if someone needed anyone to fall on a sword for her, there would be a queue waiting to commit the deed.
-Min Jin Lee
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Inky
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Thai
Yeah, I've always whacked my men over the head with a skillet, so to speak. It's worked well in some cases, but I'd like to be pursued for once, I think.

I don't know if any of you are familiar with Martha Beck, but she's one of my favorite columnists. She's a major aspect of the readable part of O Magazine, helps balance the "Is Botox Right For You?" articles. I reread this article of hers last night and I feel smoooove. This is just excellent advice in general. It's a little long, but I very strongly recommend reading through.

http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_om...709_mbeck.jhtml


As for dresses, I guess I don't really have a good place to host images that doesn't require folks to sign up for something or other to see them, so I'll just describe. One is a long sleeveless cotton dress prone to crepe-iness, bright orange with bright green flowers. It's verra tropical and maybe a little too "look at me," I'm thinking I may save it for the 4/20 Caribbean barbecue. (I love my friends.) I do have a very similar dress with less back and an earthtone color scheme that is pretty rockin'.

The dress I'm leaning towards looks a lot like this, except it's navy with an attractive cream pattern over it, and I have slightly more junk in my trunk than the model (I consider this a very good thing, spandex likes curves).

http://www.target.com/Merona-Wrap-Dress-Red/dp/B000WZKPW6

I also have a sleeveless long button-up dress in a cornflower blue suedey-type polyester, although I need to fix one of the buttonholes. It has a very flattering nipped waist and can be buttoned to the neck or left slightly open for cleavage. It has a pretty full skirt, but the buttons don't go past the knee, so legs flash a good bit.

Basically, I want to get his attention without looking like I'm TRYING to get his attention. Whatever I wear will be paired with Chacos because that's how we roll here in Boulder.


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Nibsi
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Te zijner tijd
Halfway through the Oprah article, I'll continue when I'm done cooking dinner. It's very good so far.

BTW Inky, if you want a place to host a picture, you can just e-mail it to me if you want to, and I can host it for you.
-Nibby
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