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Reflections and Refills; Chris Kage & Alexander Haven featuring ???
Topic Started: May 12 2016, 07:14 PM (29 Views)
The Youth

Downtown Buffalo
Saturday, May 14th 2016
11:34 pm


(The scene fades in. As the night begins to make it's presence known, a light flickers over the door of an old pub. As we come in closer, we can make out a sign on the door, it reads “Founding Fathers.” The door swings open and we make our way inside. It's a very drab atmosphere, dark and dingy to say the least. An old jukebox sits in corner, straining to play the current track that echoes throughout the old watering hole, Peter Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do.” As Frampton's talk box gains more and more steam our attention becomes centered around two specific men.

In the city of Buffalo they are nothing more than your everyday patrons, however in the world of the EWA they are arguably two of the biggest personalities the business has ever seen. The EWA World Heavyweight Champion Chris Kage and his brother in arms, Youth mastermind, Alexander Haven sit side by side at the end of the bar. Both men appear to be enjoying a beverage, more than likely of the alcoholic variety. Kage has on his normal hoodie and blue jeans, while Haven is sporting a vintage leather jacket with black jeans. As we move in closer we become a fly on the wall, taking in their current conversation.)


Chris Kage: It's nights like these, Alex, these are the type of nights that make me love this city.

Alexander Haven: I hear you, brother. Nothing like a beautiful spring night in Buffalo, enjoying a cold brew and listening to the classics. No better way to celebrate, tell ya that much.

Chris Kage: Absolutely, we rebounded just like I thought we would, you beat that goodie two shoes whore with ease. Heh...hell, we beat her dumb ass twice in two weeks, might as well start referring to Laura Seton as “The Youth's Bitch” from now on.

Alexander Haven: Ha, ain't that the truth. She is such a waste of fucking space. I can't believe you actually let that bitch pin you.

Chris Kage: Ah fuck off, Alex.

Alexander Haven: I'm kidding. Listen, the truth is, we took care of it. Just like we are going to take care of Goeren and X this week at Battlelines. Draven thinks he can pry that belt off of you and humiliate us at the same time by booking this fucking match, but won't he be surprised when we walk out of there with all four belts.

Chris Kage: That's the plan right. Usually I am not one for this Ultimate Fighting, MMA bullshit, but shit if we can make X tapout, we will hold all the gold brother.

Alexander Haven: Well, there is still the Atlantic Coast title.

Chris Kage: Eh, fuck that. Nothing more than a piece of tin for the bottom feeders to pass around. I mean, didn't Deacon Summers win that belt?

Alexander Haven: Point taken.

But damn man, can you believe after all these years, after everything we have been through, we are back here...we are back home. And we have an opportunity to be tag team champions again. It’'s fucking crazy when you really think about it.

Chris Kage: I know man, I felt like when you took off and I hung up the boots and started focusing on the school, I thought that was that. I never envisioned this. I mean, I always knew that it was possible, because fuck...you just don't stop being who you are, but I never imagined we would have this type of opportunity.

Alexander Haven: And it’s all thanks to the Draven brothers.

Chris Kage: The irony is pretty crazy, isn't it? Lil Mikey Draven brings back the EWA to try and lure you back into the ring to fulfill some sort of lifelong hard-on he has for ya. And low and behold it works, but instead of quenching his thirst, you beat his ass over and over again, not to mention humiliate him to top it off. And all the while I get my title back and The Youth dominates. It's a beautiful story if you think about it. Fuck, makes me want to become a writer or some shit, you can't even make this shit up.

Alexander Haven: I'm sure there are enough nerds on the internet that try, probably sit in their little fucking chat rooms talking about us, wishing we did this or that. Huh, it's funny to think that back in the day we used to care about what all the ingrates of the world thought of us. Now...I could give a shit about what any of them think.

Chris Kage: Times have changed. It was different back then. We were young, all we wanted to do was make an impression. And we did, but we did so by selling out, by pandering to the masses, and acting like they mattered. Truth is, they never really mattered, it was all about the end game. That's all it's ever been about.

(Kage tips his glass on its side, waiting for a refill of his favorite Kentucky mash.)

Alexander Haven: And the end game will always be the same - being the absolute best this business has ever seen by any means necessary. Whether it's the gold, whether it's the power, or whether it's just simply the dollar signs, we will always have more. We will always be at the top of the heap.

Chris Kage: You took the words right out of my mouth, Alex. We sure have had our fair share of copycats too haven't we. I mean look at the fucking Hierarchy for example. Has there been a worse example of a Youth rip off. The timing of it was even pathetic. We show up after Champions Summit, declare our intentions, announce the reformation of The Youth and guess what happens next…

Alexander Haven: Heh, yea no kidding. Goeren and X show up and basically rip us off word for word. They brought together a bunch of has-beens and tried to recreate something that to be honest, from what I've heard, was a failure the first time around. It's not just our opinion either, how long did it take for the Hierarchy to completely fall apart? What was it? Like a fucking month?

(The bartender walks over and tips Kage's glass back over before filling it again to brim with good ole number 7.)

Chris Kage: If that. I mean fuck, you wouldn't even know Willmott was a part of the group, and Mirage and Summers nearly killed each other. All the while X was too busy fucking up random dudes on the street because they brushed up against Goeren’s daughter.

Alexander Haven: X reminds me of a prepubescent girl that is trying to make sense of the hair growing on her snatch.

Chris Kage: Seriously. He will sit there and rant like a fucking moron about this, that, and the other, but when the time comes to back up all shit spewing out of his mouth, he bitches out. Every single goddamn time too.

Alexander Haven: What would you expect though? This is the same guy that talks about his biggest accomplishment being losing to a fucking batman character ripoff in the King Of The Ring Tournament, fucking fifteen years ago!

Chris Kage: He is an emotional train wreck. He is the type of guy that takes a selfie of himself crying. Not only that, but then he posts it on social media in hopes that someone might comment and ask what's wrong, so he can go on an hour diatribe about how his mommy didn't love him and his daddy beat his ass for being such a loser.

(Haven takes a long swig of his beer and slams the bottle back down on the bar.)

Alexander Haven: Ugh, fuck me. I swear if I have to listen to him babble on again about the seven deadly sins, I swear...I'm going to put a forty-five in my mouth and call it a life. This dude and his terrible fucking analogies.

Chris Kage: Easy, Alex, he is a fucking dragon, let's not forget. Ya know, the whole breathes fire, defends the castle, flies around and all that shit type dragon. Because..that's not quite the dumbest fucking moniker I've ever heard of.

Alexander Haven: It’s close. Don't get me started on the stupid dragon bullshit. Why does everyone need to compare themselves to a fucking animal or a mythical creature these days? X needs to do himself a favor, take a long hard look in the mirror and realize he is nothing more than another stepping stone for The Youth on their way to the top. He’s not a fucking dragon, he’s not a fucking sea serpent, hell, he isn't even a fucking koala bear. He is nothing more than the piece of shit I'm going to have to scrape off the bottom of my boot after our match at Battlelines.

(Haven motions to bartender for another beer.)

Chris Kage: He just better hope for his sake that he isn't tapping like a little bitch while you're scraping him off, because if he is, he can say bye bye to that TapOut Championship he loves so goddamn much.

Alexander Haven: Ha, could you even imagine. The guy that claims to be the best technical wrestler in the EWA getting tapped out and losing both his belts at the same time. Oh, just thinking about it gives me a little chub.

(The bartender brings Haven another beer, giving him an off putting look in response to his most recent comment.)

Chris Kage: Easy big fella. But seriously, we cannot forget our boy TyMo, thanks to fucking X he has been on the shelf for weeks now. The stupid fuck broke his goddamn arm.

Alexander Haven: One of the biggest mistakes any man can make it fucking with another man’s family. X made the ultimate mistake when he started fucking with our family and believe you me, the repercussions will be swift and they will be brutal.

Chris Kage: If the opportunity presents itself I'm going to snap his fucking leg off and stick it right up his ass. I'll even let his douchebag partner video tape it, he can sell it on his website. We will call it “Bein bis zum Anus.”

Alexander Haven: Hell yea, I dunno what the hell it means, but I'm in! This fucker is going to have to crawl back to his precious SHOOT Project after we take everything from him.

Chris Kage: That would probably be for the best anyways, from what I've seen they're all a bunch of fucking hacks over there. Hey, he might actually get to be in the world title picture in that shit hole. I mean isn't he always talking about how great he was there? Fuck, must be nothing more than a bag of dicks on the mat in the SHOOT Project if Eryk Van Warren is held in such high regard.

Alexander Haven: That's where his half retarded butt buddy cut his teeth as well if I'm not mistaken.

(Kage shakes his head in agreement.)

Chris Kage: Yea, Goeren, hah, I hope he enjoyed our little visit Friday night. I mean he couldn't really think that he could kick me in the face three fucking times and not pay for it did he?

Alexander Haven: Who the hell knows what that clown is thinking about. Everytime I turn around he has his dick in some other cooch. Last I saw he was trying to get stanky with Sinn, I mean seriously bro…

Chris Kage: I know what you're saying. It's like wearing the same pair of underwear that seventy five dudes wore before you. Except they've all taken a shit in them, and used their piss to rinse em out.

Alexander Haven: Imagine that rot bro...just imagine it.

Chris Kage: I lived most my life trying not to imagine that, Alex, trust me.

(Again Kage turns his glass on it's side, awaiting another refill.)

Alexander Haven: I mean between his soap opera with Sinn, running his bullshit rag sheets, and trying to make his daughter love him again, how can this guy seriously even focus on what's about to happen to him?

Chris Kage: Exactly, what happened at the Asylum was not just some anomaly. This dude has no fucking clue what he is getting himself into here. While he is trying to play house with Grace and wiggle his way into Sinn’s panties, we are going to be busy kicking teeth straight down his fucking throat.

Alexander Haven: Right, like I said, there is no way he is focused on the task at hand. For him, the tag team titles are nothing more than an accessory. Which partially, I understand, I mean they beat the “don't slut shame me” twins and other than that have basically glided through their current reign. But that's all about to change, you and I are going to finally give the tag team titles the respect and notoriety they deserve.

Chris Kage: I figure we can lock down the longest reign, I mean if the fucking Dyke Squad was able to do it, we should be able to breeze through a couple years at least.

Alexander Haven: Oh definitely. I don't really see how we don't hold the titles for...at least a decade or two. As long as they don’t sign the Latino Powers...

(Kage smirks, as Haven sets his beer bottle down and motions to the bartender for another.)

Alexander Haven: What is the deal with Goeren and his daughter anyways? Is it the same ole same ole story. He was a bad dad, so now she is back to make his life a living hell. But of course now he sees the error of his ways and wants to be a good dad...blah...blah.. blah.

Chris Kage: Something like that... actually, I have a little surprise for ya.

(Kage pulls out his phone and takes a quick glance.)

Chris Kage: Yep, should be here any minute.

(Just as Kage finishes speaking the door can be heard opening in the background. The camera swings around and standing in the doorway is a figure we all have come to know quite well over the last couple months.)

Alexander Haven: Well, speak of the devil. Grace fucking Goeren…

Grace Goeren: In the flesh.

(Scene fades out.)



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