| Can't hide forever; MR vs. Jane Doe - POTW round 2 @ Battlelines XII | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 15 2016, 02:17 PM (16 Views) | |
| Martin Robertson | May 15 2016, 02:17 PM Post #1 |
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Longest reigning EWA Network Champion in history!
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Sunday, May 15, 2016 12:30 PM Boston, MA The security camera set up outside The Colonnade watches as a caravan of vehicles pulls up in front of the main entrance of the hotel. A police cruiser comes to a stop first, followed by a dark colored SUV. Then, the primary vehicle… a tour bus. But not just any tour bus, but the one that carries the current EWA World Heavyweight Champion and the EWA Network Champion. It's the Youth Bus! Fortunately for everyone on the bus, the hotel has done a good job at keeping most of the paparazzi and those rude EWA fans away from their arrival. Hence why we're watching all of this from security footage. As the bus stops, we see the door open up and out comes one man. It's just the EWA Network Champion himself, “Perfection” Martin Robertson. Dressed in wind pants and a gray Youth hoodie - - only $79.99 right now on YouthTube, an incredible deal! - - he climbs from the bus carrying a small duffle bag with him. He steps through the hotel entrance as… So maybe not all the paparazzi was kept away, as we're now looking at Martin from a camera inside the hotel with some stiff in a suit running up to Martin, holding a microphone right in Martin's face… “So much for peace and quiet…” Reporter: Martin! Martin! Martin Robertson: Really? You can't give me 5 minutes to at least get to my room first? Better yet, how the hell did you even figure out I was staying here tonight? Reporter: Well, the name ‘Sartin Mobertson’ wasn't that original… “That's the best that fuck up bluntman could come up with?” Martin Robertson: So what are you here for? A soundbyte for your crappy EWA Network? You could have Jeff Dunham do a ventriloquist version of Martin Robertson on the network, and it'd be better than 95 percent of the crap you put on there… Reporter: Martin… Martin Robertson:... Or maybe you could have your highly edumacated IT staff over at EWA corporate dub some of my old sound bytes over Grady's idiot face and continue on with your Grady Smith love fest that's been happening over the past two weeks… Reporter: Martin… Martin Robertson:... Or just maybe, you could have… Reporter: MARTIN! Martin Robertson:... WHAT? Why do you keep interrupting me? Reporter: I just wanted to know if I could be your own personal reporter for your match tomorrow night? Martin Robertson: My what? Reporter: Look, my name is Edward Santa. I'm a student over at Boston College, and I'm friends with Rachel Hayes… Martin Robertson: How are you friends with Rachel? I don't believe she'd ever really be friends with someone like you. Edward Santa: Well, we're Facebook friends. We had a few mutual friends from the Martin Robertson… er, your fan page on Facebook, so we became friends, started talking on Messenger and she said you like to stay at high end hotels away from the arena… anyways… Martin Robertson: Facebook friends? Edward Santa: Yeah, we haven't met in person yet, but I'm hoping to someday. She's a hot piece of a… Martin Robertson: Watch your mouth, kid. So you want to be my personal ring reporter… Why now? And why you? Edward Santa: Well, I'm a huge fan. Martin Robertson: A huge fan… Edward Santa: Yes. Well, I loved watching your dad back in the day and I figured… Martin Robertson: Yeah… Edward Santa:... You know, kinda like how Dale Earnhardt fans became Dale Junior fans by default after he died, and… Martin Robertson: Yeah, you know what kid… Edward Santa:...Plus, you're fighting Jane Doe tomorrow night and I'll love to see her up close, too! Martin smiles… Martin Robertson: Ahhh, there's the rub. That's what you're truly after. What about your fascination with Rachel? Edward Santa: I don't want your sloppy seconds. Martin Robertson: Look kid. I'll give you a lot of credit for showing up and doing this. But you could have just emailed me and asked. Ed's face brightens up… Edward Santa: Really? Martin Robertson: Yeah, you could have found out a lot sooner that there's no way in hell I'd let you come to the ring with me! Edward Santa: Really? Why? Martin Robertson: Why would I let you be a hanger on when you (a) basically told me that you’re a fan of mine because of my father and (b) you’re basically going out there so you can ogle my opponent Edward Santa: Well, she is kinda hot… Martin Robertson: That is completely besides the point! That would be like me showing up to the Boston Garden and asking the owner to sit in his box because I’m a huge Celtics fan, then showing up wearing a Lakers jersey. Martin pauses for a moment. Martin Robertson: You know, that actually sounds like a good idea… Edward Santa: So you’ll let me come? Martin Robertson: No, but sit down. The two sit down in the lounge area of the hotel. Martin Robertson: Besides the tits, tell me what else you like about Jane Doe. Edward Santa: I dunno. There’s other things to like about her? Martin Robertson: You’ve got to like something else about her to want this opportunity. If you wanted to just see her up close, I’m sure there’s has to be some black market porn footage of her somewhere. Edward Santa: Um…. she was a former tag team champion. Martin Robertson: Is that a question or a statement? Edward Santa: I’ll….. I’ll go with questment. Martin Robertson: You truly are an idiot. Edward Santa: Yeah, Rachel tells me that a lot on Messenger. I think it’s her way of flirting with me. Martin Robertson: … Ooooorrrr…. She’s saying it because you’re really an idiot. Edward Santa: Nah, I don’t think so. Martin Robertson: Point is, kid, there’s a reason you can’t think of anything else to consider when you look at Jane Doe. She’s an athletic, hot piece of A-double S that is trying to step into a level of the professional wrestling world where she just doesn’t belong. Sure she broke the record for longest tag team title reign with her partner, but did they really face anyone? Did they face a team like Alexander Haven and Chris Kage? Did they ever face a tag team like Public Enemy, perhaps the greatest tag team in the history of our industry? Edward Santa: Aren’t those your dad’s friends? Martin Robertson: They’re my uncles. Shut up while I’m talking. Point is, they didn’t face anyone. Her partner was lucky that she made it to the second round of this tournament a few weeks ago, because we saw that when she stepped up to a higher level of quality opponent, she folded faster than the napkin you use for… you know…. All those dreams you probably have… Edward Santa: You mean like the one where Rachel and I… Martin Robertson: Yeah, sure. Like I said, shut up while the adult is talking. Jane Doe, there’s a reason that I’m not putting the title on the line against you in this match tomorrow night. Not because I’m scared of you. That’s probably the last reason why. The only thing that scares me about you is the fact that if Jared comes to the ring and touches anything, there’s a chance I could be walking out of Boston not only the EWA Network Champion, but also with some kind of venereal disease. Look, kid, you seem like a good girl, and I think you’ve been on one hell of a run since the EWA started back up last year. And I’ve heard the stories about DSI’s Purgatory Gym and how it’s a quality training camp. But what you’re about to encounter is a completely different level to anything you may have experienced in this business. You’ve been dabbling in the pool of mediocrity for a while now, which has allowed you to excel as a tag team with Lou. But when you step into the ring against me Monday night, it’ll be one on one. No Lou to come bail you out. No Jared to help interfere on your behalf. Nothing is going to save you from accepting defeat at the hands of Martin Robertson. You’re not just facing any old competitor in the EWA. You’re facing “Perfection”, and as I’ve said in the past, there’s nothing better in this world than “Perfection”. Ed is sitting in his seat, jaw open from listening to Martin. Edward Santa: Damn. Martin Robertson: What? Edward Santa: That’s harsh. Martin Robertson: That’s called a promo. It hypes up the match to make people watch it. Bet you didn’t learn that in your journalism class. Edward Santa: No way. Martin Robertson: C’mon, I’ll let you buy me an iced tea and I can tell you what it’s like to be with a real live girl… Martin puts his arm on the shoulders of Ed and leads him towards the bar area. Martin Robertson: Wait, are you 21 yet? Can you even be in here? Fade to black. |
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Member of The Youth Current EWA Network Champion (since02/12/2016)
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10:52 AM Jul 11