| EWA.COM EXCLUSIVE: Battlelines XIV; Exclusive footage that never made it to air! The Vice Squad confront the Youth after the Gauntlet match! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 23 2016, 08:35 PM (11 Views) | |
| DSI | Jun 23 2016, 08:35 PM Post #1 |
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EWA Tag Team Champion
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(OOC Note: This segment was, as the title suggests, supposed to be on the Battlelines show, but due to Google Docs technical difficulties, it never reached Gates. Enjoy.) (We cut backstage to find intrepid report Alison Haines hot footing it down the hall, in pursuit of two figures. As she gets closer, we can see the duo of Alexander Haven and Chris Kage - fresh off their losses to the Latino Powers in their impromptu title gauntlet match. The camera steadies as Allison catches up finally, yelling to the two.) Haines: Alex, Chris! Can I have a minute of your time?! (The duo doesn’t turn around to acknowledge Haines, and continues down the hall.) Kage: Go away, gutterslut! We’re not in the mood. (Undeterred, Haines pushes on with the chase.) Haines: Can I get a word regarding your loss to the Latino Powers tonight? Many are saying tha- (Haven wheels around suddenly, causing Haines to bump into him. He steadies her, before speaking.) Haven: Saying what, Allison? What are they saying? That we lost fair and square to one of the most iconic and legendary tag teams of all time, the Latino Powers? Because that’s what happened out there, Allison. Chris and I may not like it, but that’s what being a fighting champion means. Tonight they were simply the better team. Lou: Wait, did I hear that right? I could’ve sworn it was Alex Haven admitting someone was better. (The Vice Squad, Lou and Jane Doe, step into the frame, dressed in street clothes. Lou is wearing a tight Junior Mints t-shirt, and Jane is similarly attired in a Sugar Babies shirt. They don’t look particularly impressed. They talk a mile a minute, never allowing for a break in their conversation.) Jane: Well, they were talking about the Latino Powers, Lou, so does it really count? Lou: Why, Jane, you’re not implying that Alexander Haven and Chris Kage are the Latino Powers now, are you? Because that would be obviously patently ridiculous. Jane: And “gutterslut”? C’mon, you guys are… slightly more creative than that. Lou: Tough loss, though. I hope Jorge… or Jose… whoever he was… really hope his arm heals up by showtime. Jane: Seriously, though, it’s cool that you’re keeping the 2001 playbook. I can’t wait for more poop jokes and Taco Bell references. Lou: Yes, I’m sure they’ll be current and timely, like everything else about the Youth. (Haven opens his mouth to talk, but Lou puts a finger to his lips.) Lou: Shh, as much as I’d love to hear what you have to say, Jane and I really have to get going. Jane: Yeah, we’ve got to go… wash our hair or something, I don’t know. Lou: We’ll see you guys again soon! Maybe you could whore Alyssa out to us this time. Jane: Not that we’re interested, but it’d be a nice gesture. Lou: Ciao! Jane: ¡Adios, maricones! Lou: You look great, Allison. Jane: We’ll catch up later. (And just like that, they’ve crossed in front of the now-former champs, and disappeared. Haven and Kage exchange a smirk as they watch the Vice Squad walk away.) Haven: I can't wait to watch the Latino Powers kick their asses. Kage: I hope they are current on their gardasil shots. Excuse us, Alison...I need a shower before my match after being exposed to those two subhuman whores. Wouldn't want Grady to catch any diseases. Haven: Oh god, he'd milk that for all it was worth, I'm sure. (Allison Haines shrugs at the camera as the former (and current?) tag champs walk away. Shortly after we fade back to ringside.) |
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10:51 AM Jul 11