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Baddest Man Alive; PotW Night one, EWA Network Title Match
Topic Started: Jun 27 2016, 02:27 PM (16 Views)
Martin Robertson
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Longest reigning EWA Network Champion in history!
(As the image fades in from black, the first picture we see is an overhead shot of a black SUV driving along a city street. Not in much of a hurry, the vehicle is moving pretty slow amongst the traffic that surrounds it. While cabs and other vehicles dart around it, this SUV is just cruising along down the road. As the camera shifts from an overhead view to more of a view from behind the vehicle, we can see familiar skyline architecture to tell us at least what city we’re following this SUV in. It’s Chicago, home the next two nights for some of the greatest wrestling talent in the world, as the EWA has come to town for its’ two night Path of the Warrior Pay Per View extravaganza.)

(We get our first glimpse inside the back seat of the SUV, peering through a stationary camera on the outside of the vehicle. It’s none other than our current, and longest reigning, EWA Network champion in history, Martin Robertson. At this point, we only see a light gray hoodie on with a customized pair of Beats headphones on Mr. Robertson. Martin stares out the side window with a fairly blank expression on his face, just watching the buildings pass by one after another, all looking similar in nature. The background music accompanying the video shots slowly grows from a very soft murmur to where we can finally determine the song that we’re listening to, and quite possibly the song that is playing through Martin’s headphones at the moment -- “The Baddest Man Alive” by the Black Keys.)

“Man, this town sucks. So gloomy and dreary, can’t go anywhere without encountering a forty mile an hour wind gust.”

Driver: Five minutes until arrival at the arena, Mr. Robertson.

“And this guy… decent dude, but I just wish he’d shut up for a few minutes. I don’t care about the life story of his kids or how his dog has appendicitis or how his grandmother sold her hearing aid at the bingo hall just to get a couple extra cards. Jesus, shut up, dude!”

“This match, though… Christ, can they try and screw me over any more out of my title reign? Defend the title on back to back nights, they say. And I do that.”

“Defend it against guys that have no business being in a polaroid picture, let alone a title picture. And I do that.”

“Big guys, little guys, guys that aren’t actually guys… Beat them all, they demand of you. AND. I. DO. THAT.”

“So why am I not shocked that, later this evening, I’ve now got to defend the title against two people at the same time?”

“It’s been a damn conspiracy this whole time. Once I won the title. Once I joined up with Alex and Chris and Tyler… All anyone has ever tried to do since then is to get me to slip up, to show that I’m not the man that I say I am. To show that I’m not this wondrous talent that I claim to be, night in and night out, on their stupid television shows or during press interviews…”

“I am the baddest man alive.”

“Do you think NOTHING or Grace understand this?”

“Probably not. NOTHING is too busy trying to resurrect some failed experimental faction from fifteen years ago. I can’t wait to have him tell me just how this is anything different than what Grady’s trying to do now. Seriously, how is this special? How am I really supposed to care about this? Oh, he HATE’s this and he HATE’s that… No shit, sherlock. We all HATE things. I HATE my father. I HATE that I have to wrestle two people at the same time later tonight. I HATE that the waitress put mustard on my sandwich instead of the mayo that I asked for.”

“C’mon dude… Is that all you really have in his world? You're driven based on the fact that you HATE things? We all HATE things in this world. I HATE how much my ex-girlfriend used to spend so much time reading her stupid vampire books. Hell, I HATE vampires for that matter. I HATE the fact that now, because of you, everyone in the goddamn world puts so much emphasis on the word HATE. It’s a word for christ’s sake! It’s not the name of a state capital or one of the seven wonders of the world.”

“Dude walks around like the hate he has will propel him to have superhuman powers, able to conquer any and all obstacles in his way. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear him come out next week saying that because he hates how bad of a flight he had between here and Boston, he’d now be able to fly between the two cities faster than the jumbo jet I flew in on.”

“All this superhero bullshit he claims his hate gives him… just consider me your kryptonite, alright dude? Or whatever the anti-thing is that puts someone like Batman down, like not being a dumbass. Just like you, it doesn’t matter.”

“Here’s what does matter, Pru… I wonder if he likes when people call him that… Doesn’t matter. Here’s what does matter, though. Skills. Technical ability. Youthful energy. Three areas where I clearly outclass this fool. So what makes him think that he’s going to come out tonight and beat me? Because if the old man used to school this cat fifteen years ago and based on all the stories from Alex and Chris on Gothy McGothson, what makes him think that he’s going to even be in the same class as the upgraded version of Grady?”

“Oh, wait, I know. He’s going to have this other chick, Grace Goeren, come in, and together, they both are going to beat me. That’s right, because over the course of his career, he hasn’t been able to do anything on his own. I’ve seen the tapes, dude. I’ve heard the stories. Between your twin brother or whatever flunkies you have around, it’s never just NOTHING. So maybe you should bring Crippler down to the ring with you? Oh, wait, you mean that dude that I’ve carried in our tag matches and beat twice this year already. Yeah, scrap him. Calder, maybe? Nah, he’s too busy playing with Draven’s Power Puff Girl, Maggie.”

“Stick to hoping Grace will help you… that’ll work. Because Grace, she’s really reliable, I’ve heard. Great girl, trusts everyone she meets, gets along well with others. She’ll be the PERFECT person to help you defeat me tonight.”

“Except… I think she might want to try and take my title as well.”

“Nice thought, isn’t it Grace? The daughter with daddy issues becoming the youngest ever EWA Network Champion… what a storybook ending.”

“One problem, Grace… Just like you, I don’t do fairy tales. Just ask Laura Seton how those fairytale books seem to end around here. Not good.”

“The kid has some spunk, though. She’s a little fire pit of angst against daddy dearest. Sounds like someone I know…”

“I mean, does the girl realize how outclassed she is in this match? Two-time NCAA wrestling champion, longest reigning champion since Chris Kage, all around superior athlete… and that’s just one person in this match. She’s also got to deal with Pru… er, NOTHI… er… Whatever he’s calling himself. Dude’s over twice as old as her! She might mistake him for her dad and just try and take him out.”

“Chick needs to realize one thing… It’s just not her time to become champion here. Not on my dime, at least. Kid’s got a fire in her that very few possess. That desire to prove everyone wrong about her… to show the world that she can do this! She’s got this! Yeah, woman power, hear her roar!”

“Ugh…”

“She sounds like a bad PBS episode of… whatever the hell they show on PBS nowadays. Maybe she can replace her video entrance to be that stupid star from the old NBC commercials… The More You Know… Except it’d probably be more like The More You Manipulate…”

“God, I love this song… “

“I’m the baddest man alive!
I’d grab a crocodile by his tail
Handcuff NOTHING, and throw the HATE in jail
Make the meanest woman break down and cry
I’m the baddest man alive…”

“I wonder what Alex would think if I wanted to switch to have this be my music tonight…”

“Nah, can’t be like dad, changing music every two weeks.”


Driver: We’re here, Mr. Robertson. Thanks again for letting me vent to you. I know you know exactly what I’m going through.

Martin Robertson: (pulls one side of his headphones off his ear) Yeah, sure… Alex already tip you?

Driver: Yes sir.

Martin Robertson: Awesome. Smell you later.

(The image cuts to the front side of Martin, slowly striding away from the car to the wrestler’s entrance of the arena…)

”Ok, kid. Showtime. Time to go prove why you’re the baddest man alive one more time.”

(The camera cuts to show Martin’s face as he places the headphones back over his ears, then pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt over the headphones, almost hiding his face, but primarily to drown out everyone else. We switch back to the view from behind Martin as he continues walking towards the arena, where we hear more of the song playing …)

”I’m the man who stole the golden fleece
And I date rape Beauty right in front of the Beast
The baddest man alive…

And I don’t plan to die…”
[/b]


(Fade to black)
Member of The Youth
Current EWA Network Champion (since02/12/2016)


  • Longest reigning EWA Network Champion in history (currently 188 days and counting)
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