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Whoa I gotted trolololed!
Topic Started: 9 Oct 2013, 01:37 PM (632 Views)
Reno
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Above the Law
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Somalia is pretty nice all year round actually.

Right Lest?
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"BLUUUUUUGGGHHH."
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Gabe Newell
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Kryptonite is a helluva drug.
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Reno
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Above the Law
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Hey Paul! Paul Bunyan, Paul Bunyan! He's sixty-three axe handles high, with his feet on the ground and his head in the sky, hey Paul! Hey Paul! Paul Bunyan! Paul Bunyan!
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Gabe Newell
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Get your dick out of that ox [sic].
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Reno
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Well that was obvious

[utube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3cGBYjYNKY[/utube]

A little too obvious even for me LOL oh well!
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Gabe Newell
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*Knock Knock*
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Reno
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Gabe Newell,Oct 25 2013
10:34 PM
*Knock Knock*

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Reno
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Renogears: Parallel Works

{BGM: “New Days”}

Crim Kisaragi awoke to the unpleasant racket of his alarm clock screeching like some kind of dying animal. He rammed his head under his pillow in a futile attempt to block the noise out, knowing full well what was coming next…

“Crim!” shouted his mother as she tore the covers away from him. “You’re going to be late for school. Again!”

“Urrgh…” grumbled the lanky red-haired teenager as he grabbed at thin air in an effort to reclaim his lost blankets. “Sleep now, school never.”

“Oh no you don’t! Hiya!” she yelled as she somehow upended his entire mattress in a single deft move, sending the boy sprawling to the floor.

“Ow!” he exclaimed upon hitting his head hard against the corner of his desk, which caused a pile of unfinished homework to come crashing down upon him. “C-child abuse!”

“Don’t give me that crap, you delinquent!” she declared dismissively. “You’re going to school no matter what, you hear me? Now hop to it!” She slammed the door to his room as she left him alone to get dressed. “And don’t think I won’t barge in there in a minute to make sure you’re dressed! You know I’m not beyond using force to get what I want!”

The color drained from his face. That overly pleasant tone in her voice told him that she was serious. There wasn’t a second to lose. In thirty seconds flat, she’d be back. Which now left him with twenty-eight seconds to get ready.

He leaped head-first into his closet and pulled his wrinkled white uniform shirt on in the blink of an eye. In the next blink, he had one leg in his pants, and then the other, though this caused him to fall flat on his back into a pile of random magazines. Undeterred, he rolled aside and somehow managed to zip and button up all in one motion. In any other situation, such a feat might have actually been impressive, but not here. Not now.

Rolling forward, he grabbed his dark blue uniform coat and slid his right arm into one sleeve, grabbing his cell phone from his desk as he did so. He stood up, slid his other arm into the remaining sleeve, and reached for the doorknob, just in time to meet his mother face-to-face as she appeared well before his allotted minute was up.

“Why that lying…” he thought as he struggled to keep his cool in the face of certain doom.

“Oh, so you figured it out, huh?” she said with a sinister fake pout. “I’m a little disappointed. Oh well.” She turned on her heel and headed down the hall. “Maybe next time. Come on now, come have some breakfast. If you don’t hurry, your little sister will eat all the bacon again.”

“Agh! Not again!”

He made a mad dash for the kitchen.

<><><><><><><><><><>

“Damn you, Christina! You could have at least saved a little for me!”

“Sorry, bro,” replied the violet-haired schoolgirl as she bit down on the last strip of delicious bacon. “Snooze ya lose!”

“Listen, you little shit!” Crim snapped as he slammed both palms onto the kitchen table.

“Mom, Crim’s swearing again!”

“Language, Crim!” came his mother’s voice from down the hall. The sing-song tone of it practically froze the blood in the boy’s veins, but he wasn’t quite ready to give up just yet.

He leaned in across the table, glaring daggers at his nauseatingly perky little sister, and spoke quietly through gritted teeth. “Well I hate to break it to you, fatty, but your plan to stick it to me is actually sticking to you!”

Christina’s light purple eyes widened as she swallowed the last of the bacon, bringing her hand up to her midsection as she did so. Crim smirked in triumph as a look of abject terror appeared upon his darling sister’s face.

“Oh my god I need to purge!” shrieked Christina as she jumped out of her chair and made a beeline for the washroom.

Still smirking, the devious teenager grabbed a piece of toast from the table as he sauntered off towards the front door.

“Serves the brat right,” he thought as he chomped down on the toast while picking his backpack up off the floor.

“Okay!” he yelled with his mouth full. “I’m headin’ to school now! I got kendo club after class so I’ll be home late!”

His mother poked her head around the corner, smiling so cheerfully that it nearly sent a chill up Crim’s spine. “Bye-bye, sweet-sweet treasure!”

And that did it. Full blown spine-chill. He mustered up something resembling a wave and quietly closed the door.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he ventured out into the narrow street. That sure was a close call this time…

As he walked around the corner out towards the main road, his spirits were given a boost upon being treated to the telltale sound of his little sister puking her guts out in the upstairs bathroom of his house. He let out a chuckle and continued on his way with just a slight hint of a smile on his face and a barely noticeable spring in his step.

What kind of older brother took pleasure in aggravating his kid sister’s ongoing body-image issues?

Yeah. This kind.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Want to be Close”}

Crim was greeted at the front gates of Yigurasiru High by his two closest friends, Rude Murakami and Elena Murakumo.

“Yo,” said Crim as he walked past them.

“You’re late again,” Elena replied as she turned and followed after him. Rude did the same, but said nothing.

“Couldn’t be helped,” he said with a shrug.” You know how it is. Besides, it’s not like I forced you to wait around for me. It’s your own damn fault if you’re late too.”

The petite blonde girl looked like she was about to say something, but for whatever reason, thought better of it and kept her mouth shut.

Rude, meanwhile, simply pushed his jet black shades closer to his eyes and remained as stoic as he ever was. Rock solid guy, in more ways than one, that Rude.

Then the bell rang, and the three of them parted ways. Rude was a junior, so his homeroom was up on the third floor. Elena and Crim were both sophomores, so their homerooms were on the second floor. Elena was in class 2-1; Crim was in 2-2.

Even though he technically wasn’t late for school, Crim still managed to, somehow, be late for homeroom. He strolled into class, looking disheveled as usual with his uniform shirt half-tucked-in, jacket fully unbuttoned with the collar wide open. The spitting image of a true delinquent.

“Thank you for joining us, Mr. Kisaragi,” said his homeroom teacher, Ms. Yumi Uzumi. “This makes two in a row. You know what happens after a third.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Crim grumbled as he took his seat at the back of the class next to his buddy Ludwig Einstein, a blond-haired blue-eyed foreign student and card-carrying member of Crim’s gang.

“Yo, dude!” Ludwig whispered as soon as the teacher’s back was turned. “You tryin’ to piss her off or what?”

“The fuck do I care? he answered as he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up over his desk. “I ain’t afraid of some lonely malcontent spinster with a bug up her ass.”

At this, Ludwig chuckled, but the student seated to the other side of Crim wasn’t quite so amused. The rather busty girl with pink hair, olive skin and golden eyes shot a venomous glare directly at Crim.

“Don’t be so fucking rude, asshat!” she said in a harsh ‘whisper’.

Eyes shut and prepped for a nap, Crim responded to the girl in a dismissive tone. “Up yours, Chloe.”

“What!?” she replied, clearly offended. “How dare you! Why don’t you just drop the macho act already, you fucking pansy!”

He opened his eyes. “Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Stupid whore.”

Obviously, the argument had escalated well past the point of no-return. All eyes in the classroom, including Ms. Uzumi’s, were on the two of them. And Ms. Uzumi’s eyes in particular burned with classic teacher-rage.

Chloe realized their predicament first and quickly clammed up and sat back down, bowing her head in shame. Crim, however, didn’t let up. Whether it was because he didn’t know or didn’t care was anyone’s guess.

“Seriously, the only time you ever shut that motorized claptrap of yours is when you’re sucking off a guy you barely know because you can’t resist whoring it up no matter how hard you try. So just cut the phony good-girl act and go jump off a ledge or something.”

Maybe he went too far, this time. Chloe, eyes welling up with tears, leaped out of her seat and rushed out the door, leaving an apparently unremorseful Crim sitting there with his eyes shut while everyone else just stared at him, mouths agape at his sheer cruelty and audacity.

All except Ms. Uzumi, whose eyes were practically on fire at this point.

“That’s it!” she screamed directly at Crim, causing him to actually fall backwards out of his chair. “You! Principal’s office! NOW!”

“Jesus Christ!” Crim yelped as he stumbled to his feet and hauled ass outta there as fast as possible.

Once he was a safe distance away from the righteously pissed-off teacher, he slowed down to his usual hunched-over saunter and jammed his hands in his pockets.

“Fucking crazy broads…” he muttered to himself.

About a minute later, he arrived at his destination, but instead of barging right inside he just stood there staring blankly at the door for several seconds.

“Why’d I hafta go and say all that stupid shit anyway…?”

Steeling himself for whatever fate had in store for him, he gripped the handle, but before he could open the door, someone else pulled on it from the other side.

“Who the fuck…?” Crim’s eyes narrowed as he released his grip on the door. “Oh…you.”

{BGM: “Fatal Fight” (ver. 3.0)}

He stood face-to-face with a tall boy with steel-grey eyes, long blue hair, and a no-nonsense air about him. It was almost like the two of them were polar opposites, and the tension between them was immediately apparent.

The blue-haired boy merely scoffed in reply, which only served to make Crim’s already foul mood just that much worse.

“What, you gonna harass me too, Dias?” Crim leaned forward. “Bring it, you fuckin’ goody-two-shoes!”

Dias shrugged and shook his head as the slightest hint of a smile crept up onto his pretty-boy face. “I have no reason to harass anyone, least of all a two-bit thug like you.”

“Tch! Oh yeah? Well, least I’m not in here butt-kissin’ every day! What, you run outta lip balm or somethin’? Ha!”

“Not that it’s any of your concern, but my duties as Vice-President of the Student Council require due diligence.” He brushed past Crim as he spoke. “I don’t expect someone like you to understand the concept. But I do expect you to respect it.”

“Man, shut the fuck up.” Crim wheeled around, still hunched over with his hands in his pockets. By contrast, Dias stood up straight, and looked damn-near regal in his school uniform, which he wore with pride, unlike Crim.

“I take it you were sent here due to delinquent behavior again? I really wish you would behave yourself. It reflects badly on the rest of us when you and your ‘gang’ cause trouble, you know.”

“Yeah, like I care,” Crim snapped as he turned around and started walking away, leaving Dias standing alone in the empty hallway. The Student Council Vice-President made no effort to try and get the red-haired gang leader to reconsider his actions, because he knew full-well that it would only lead to more trouble.

“He never learns,” Dias thought with a frown as he turned and walked off in the opposite direction.

<><><><><><><><><><>

It wasn’t until lunchtime that Crim resurfaced again. This wouldn’t be the first time he had ditched all of his classes for no good reason, and it surely wouldn’t be the last.

Then again, maybe not. His unruly behavior as of late has only grown more blatant, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by the faculty. In truth, it was only a matter of time before they’d just give up on him entirely. There were plenty of other students more deserving of attention. Student who wanted to make something of themselves. Students who wanted an actual future.

Why bother with a perpetual ne’er-do-well like him? Waste of time and effort trying to rehabilitate a lost cause.

None of that mattered to Crim anyway. It barely even registered as an issue. Or perhaps it did, and he was just attempting to play it off as inconsequential in order to reinforce his tough guy image. Lying to himself, and, like a sucker for the ages, actually buying into the lie. That was either a testament to his skills as a con-artist, or proof positive that he had some real messed-up shit going on in his head.

Still, in spite of his entire morning being soured by the double-whammy of his ex-girlfriend (Chloe) and his rival (Dias) giving him the gears, he saw no reason to forego his regular lunchtime meeting.

The core members of his gang had all gathered at their usual spot on the school roof, and he sat there alongside them in his usual place, with his back resting against the high chain-link fence which bordered the ledge on all sides.

Rude and Elena sat next to him on his right and left, respectively. Across from the three of them, sitting on the ground with his back against an air vent was Ludwig, who was busying himself peeling an orange.

Two other gang members lingered nearby. The freshmen, Hotaru Tsukino and Gren Goemon. Hotaru, a svelte dark-haired goth-esque chick, sat cross-legged on the ground next to the stairwell door. Gren, a scrawny, moody-looking guy, leaned cross-armed against the stairwell around the corner, somewhat out of view.

And that was the ‘gang’ as it were. Although truth be told, they didn’t actually do a whole lot. Sure, they all liked to strut around and act tough, but in the end, all they managed to accomplish was occasionally making people uncomfortable with their senseless roughhousing and random troublemaking. And really, the only ones who ever even got themselves in any sort of hot water over such antics were Crim and Rude. And between the two of them, Crim was by far the worst offender. The others were more or less just along for the ride, because they didn’t really have anywhere else to belong.

And that suited each one of them just fine. After all, it was easier to be given a place to belong that it was to make one for yourself. Everyone had their own individual reasons for being there, and though they all may have stemmed from personal or even selfish desires, the end result remained the same.

For his part, Crim was highly protective of his ‘Crew’, as he called them, and would always go to great lengths to help them out however he could. It made him feel like he was needed, which in turn gave him a sense of purpose that he couldn’t find anywhere else.

{BGM: “Like a Dream Come True”}

Crim looked up at the sky and sighed loudly, which prompted a curious response from Ludwig.

“What’s the matter, boss? You bored again?” He popped a slice of his orange into his mouth.

“Nah,” Crim answered halfheartedly.

“He’s upset about what happened with Chloe,” Elena chimed in.

“Idiot!” snapped Crim.

Rude let out a chuckle, but said nothing.

“I don’t hear you denying it…” said Hotaru in her quiet, monotone voice.

“Cuz I don’t need to deny shit!”

“Maybe you should try and make up with her?” Gren suggested.

“Like hell!”

Rude chuckled again.

“Seriously though, boss, you really laid into her this morning,” said Einst after swallowing his orange slice. “The whole school is talking about it.”

“So the fuck what? She deserves it.”

“Well they’re mostly talking about you, actually,” said Elena.

“Yeah? Well good.” Crim spring to his feet and flexed his bicep. “That’ll make ‘em all think twice about messin’ with us! Right!?”

The subdued reaction from his cohorts was less inspiring that Crim would have liked. He stood there for a few seconds longer before slumping back down.

“Bah, fuckin’ hell…”

Just then, the bell rang out, signaling the start of afternoon classes. Everyone got up and headed back downstairs through the stairwell. Everyone save for Crim and Elena. He remained seated, while she stopped just in front of the door.

“You know, Crim…”

“Yeah? Out with it.”

“…Nevermind.”

“Tch…”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She left him without another word.

He sat alone, staring up into the sky.

“What…just what in the hell have I been doing all this time?”

He closed his eyes.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Awakening”}

When he next opened his eyes, the sky was dark red, and everything around him appeared to be a dull, lifeless grey.

Sunset?

What time was it?

He checked his watch.

00:00:00

“What the…?” he muttered.

He stood up. Something wasn’t right.

“Hello?” he called out, even though he was pretty sure there was nobody else around.

“Shit.”

He walked to the stairwell door and pulled on it.

Locked. Great.

“Must’ve slept through the entire goddamn day…”

But it’s not like this was the first time he’s ever done that. Hell, it was pretty much his favorite thing to do at school. Well, one of his favorite things.

So why did he have this uneasy feeling?

He looked at the sky again. It was red like blood.

“This is getting fuckin’ weird.”

Having little recourse, he strolled up to the stairwell door once again, and kicked the bloody thing off its hinges.

“Damn straight.”

Descending into the dark, a strange thought occurred to him. He thought “I wonder how the others are doing?”

That in and of itself wasn’t strange. It was natural for a leader to worry about his subordinates. Only it wasn’t his Crew that he was thinking of.

Or was it?

He shook his head as he opened the door that led into the top floor hallway. Except the door didn’t lead to where he knew it should have. Instead, it opened into a place that he didn’t recognize and couldn’t even describe, at least not initially.

{BGM: “Forgotten Sanctuary”}

Huge stone statues in the shape of giant warriors lined the high walls for as far as he could see in either direction. A massive path of white marble cut through the center of the cavernous space, with enormous obelisks jutting up from the ground in an alternating pattern alongside.

The stunned redhead stumbled forward, and as he did, the door he came through faded away.

Finally, he managed to regain some semblance of his senses. But just as he did, he tripped over a loose piece of stone that had fallen from a crumbled pillar, and landed flat on his ass.

“Ow! Fuckin’ hell!”

His voice echoed loud and long throughout the mysterious ruins. He looked up at the ceiling, but couldn’t make out anything distinct. It was almost like looking up into the sky during a cloudy night.

For a while, he just sat there, dumbfounded. None of this made any sense to him (color=red]Speak for yourself![/color]). One minute he was napping on the roof of the school, the next he was in…wherever the hell this weird place was. It was definitely unlike anything he’d ever seen or experienced before.

All he could do was laugh. A quiet chuckle at first, but soon it erupted into a full-blown, side-splitting fit. What else could he do? This had to be a joke, and as far as jokes went, this one was pretty damn funny.

{BGM: “Who Goes There?}

Then, like a sudden jolt of electricity shocking him right in the brainstem, his revelry was cut short by a disembodied voice that struck him to his very core.

“Yeah, laugh it up, you ridiculous fool.”

A cold sweat chilled Crim to the bone. “Who…who’s there!?”

“Ha! Clueless as usual. What a joke.”

Crim scurried to his feet and assumed an unsteady fighting stance. “Show yourself, you freak! C’mon!”

The owner of the voice sighed. “Very well, if you insist.

{BGM: “The One Who is Torn Apart”}

Crim spun around when he heard menacing laughter echoing from behind him. And what he saw filled him with a sense of unfathomable dread.

Standing before him was a tall, pale-faced man with long, untamed crimson hair that flowed freely about his body, which was clad in what appeared to be black armor that pulsed with red-hot veins of seemingly boundless energy. Crim had no idea how he knew this to be the case, but he was nonetheless certain of it. He could somehow feel the seething malice emanating from the man, and it was terrifying.

With psychotic deep-amber eyes, the man glared across the space that separated them, and laughed again.

“Ha ha ha…look at me, laughing like a clown. What a hypocrite I am. But you’re just so…amusing.”

Crim was speechless. He couldn’t move a muscle. It was like he was paralyzed. Even breathing was becoming difficult.

“Oh, you’re still clinging to this cheap charade?” The pale-faced man began walking towards Crim, sneering with contempt as he drew closer. “Well, if nothing else, you’ve always been a tenacious one. Frankly, that’s probably the only reason we’ve survived this long.” He halted his advance and swept his right arm to one side. “Makes me sick just thinking about it.”

With the sweep of the pale-faced man’s arm, the unseen forces that had been paralyzing Crim faded away all at once. The red-haired teenager collapsed to one knee, gasping for air.

“Get up,” demanded the pale-faced man, his voice dripping with venom. “What a disgrace.”

Crim coughed and staggered to his feet. The pale-faced man stood mere inches away from him now. He steeled his frayed nerves, and looked the other man straight in the eyes.

“W-what the…?” was all Crim could spit out.

“So, you finally understand,” Id replied, still sneering. “It’s about time.”

“You’re…me…?”

“Of course I am. Thou art I and I art thou, or some stupid psychobabblicious tripe like that. Point is, we’re one in the same, you and I.”

“But that’s impossible.” Crim took a step backwards. “None of this shit is real. This is a…”

“Dream? A nightmare? Ha! Well, in a sense.” Id vanished, only to reappear behind Crim once again. “More accurately, this is your mind. Our mind. You’ve locked yourself away in this silly little fantasy because the going got a little tough in the real world. Boo fucking hoo. It’s time for you to wake up.”

“I…I…”

“Don’t you dare say I can’t, or I swear I will turn you inside-out.”

Stunned silence was Crim’s only reply. This pleased Id.

“That’s more like it. Now, let’s get you back to the land of the living…if you can even call what you do ‘living’.”

Before Crim could react, Id lunged forward and blasted the teenager in the face with a wave of black energy which sent him flying back into a swirling vortex that had all of a sudden manifested out of nowhere. Crim vanished from the ruins, leaving only a faint echoing scream in his wake. Then everything began to crumble away, revealing a stark white nothingness just below the façade. Id stood alone in the midst of the void for a moment before his form flickered and faded as well.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Crim snapped awake with a startled cry that might have been just a tad too high-pitched for his liking. Fortunately, nobody was around to hear it.

He rubbed the back of his aching head as he slowly stood up. At first, he couldn’t quite remember where he was, or what he was doing. Something in his mind had been stirring recently, and it left him feeling somewhat uneasy, but also refreshed. Perhaps it was just the benefit of the powernap though.

“Still,” he said out loud. “What a stupid dream, ha ha ha…”

The details of the dream remained fresh and vivid in his mind. A rather an amusing thought, that there might be another version of himself living an entirely different life off in some far-flung corner of the Omniverse. It gave him cause to chuckle as he continued to regain his bearings.

Yes, this was the R&D Department of the Shin-Ra Building. Right where he needed to be. And if this realm worked the way he thought it worked, he would be out of here in a few short minutes.

As the Captain proceeded through the dark laboratory, surrounded by relics of a past life that he had long since left behind, he couldn’t help but reminisce a little about the past. The good times, the not-so-good times. Even the royally-fucked-up times. Most of it remained hazy, at best, but some things stuck out. For instance, he remembered that he had left a pair of weapons in storage in this very lab. Maybe they would still be right where he left them? No harm in taking a quick look. So he ventured down a path leading to his left, and stopped in front of a door marked as EXPERIMENTAL WEAPON STORAGE ROOM 1A.

“Open,” he said to the computer panel, which immediately began scanning him.

“BIO-SCAN COMPLETE. WELCOME, MISTER PRESIDENT.”

Crim stepped inside and the room lit up, revealing a pedestal surrounded by what appeared to be a glass case. Behind the glass, resting upon a traditional-style display rack, was a matching katana and wakizashi set.

“Deactivate stasis field.”

“DEACTIVATING STASIS FIELD. ONE MOMENT PLEASE.”

He waited a moment, and as promised, the field went down and the glass case pulled itself up into the ceiling.

“Come to papa,” Crim said with a grin as he picked up the sheathed blades and tucked them into his belt. He then spun around and drew the katana in a flash, slicing through the empty air with the shimmering dark blue-grey blade.

It felt good to hold Murakami again. Along with its companion short sword, Murakumo. Adding the two of them back into his arsenal would no doubt prove to be quite useful in the coming days.

Sheathing Murakami as he made his exit, Crim resumed his journey through the labyrinthine corridors of the R&D Department. Most people would get horribly lost within minutes in this place, but not him. Even if he didn’t remember a single thing about the layout, his innate senses would be more than adequate to guide his path.

It wasn’t long before he reached his destination. A set of massive blast doors loomed before him, marked with all manner of warning symbols ranging from nuclear to chemical to biological. This was the heart of the R&D Department. The top-secret Special Projects section. Only top brass had access to this place, and with good reason. Even knowing about some of the experiment that had been conducted here could have had tremendous far-reaching effects on a global scale.

And that was precisely why he had come here.

He passed through another bio-scan, in addition to a verbal code verification and a manual password input. There was a brief pause as the system booted up. A loud hissing noise was heard as jets of steam shot out from all four corners of the door, signifying that the locks had been disengaged. Finally, they began to slowly slide apart. Crim waited for a few seconds before walking into the pitch dark room. As before, the lights came on automatically, but this time, instead of being presented with a pair of swords, he was greeted to the sight of a large apparatus with a circular stage-like platform that was connected to a whole bunch of thick red cables that ran along the floor and up towards the ceiling. A control terminal stood off to the right side of the device, connected to over a dozen wide-screen monitors, each one displaying massive amounts of data.

Crim headed straight for the terminal, and glanced across the monitors. After taking it all in, he pulled out the keyboard and began to type, rapidly inputting what appeared to be coordinates.

“There. That should do it. Hopefully there’s enough juice left in the system to get me there.”

He hit ENTER, which initiated a countdown sequence, then spun on his heel and approached the elevated platform of the large machine. Energy began flowing through the numerous cables and conduits that were connected to the device, which now hummed at an ever-increasing pitch. Crim hopped up onto the platform, turned back around, and waited for the timer to reach zero.

3…

2…

1…

0…

This was, in fact, Shin-Ra’s first fully functional Dimensional Transporter. And it would seem that this realm, while merely a ‘shadow’, still retained various elements of the real thing. A ‘functional replica’ of sorts.

A swirling white and blue tunnel through space and time opened up and swallowed the Captain in an instant. And just as the ruins within his mind had crumbled away into an empty void, so too did this realm. Without Crim’s influence to sustain it, it simply ceased to be.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Shevat – The Wind is Calling”}

While it was a bit of a bumpy ride compared to what he was used to, Crim emerged unscathed at his chosen destination.

He stood upon a narrow bridge made of smooth grey stone, with nothing but blue skies and clouds both above and below.

“Hmph. Aim was a bit off,” he muttered to himself as he began walking towards the tower at the far end of the bridge.

If one were to be provided with a bird’s eye view of this curious place, they would be treated to quite the majestic sight indeed. A glorious saucer-shaped city, floating aimlessly through an endless sky with no sun shining on high nor any solid ground nestled beneath.

For his part, Crim was unimpressed. He had no reason to be distracted by the eerie beauty of this place, seeing as this was hardly his first visit to Shevat and all.

He made it through the base of the tower and out the other side without running into anyone, but by the time he reached the platform that led towards the central palace, Aphel Aura, he encountered several native Shevites.

“Is that little Erich?” asked an ancient-looking woman who approached Crim from the left. “Why, it’s been ages. How have you been, child? Where is your mother? I would love to catch up with her. Oh, it’s been ages…”

The Captain ignored the old crone and picked up his pace. The last thing he wanted was to get caught in a mob of these batty old relics.

They came in droves, reaching for him with bony arms, clawing with decrepit fingers, spouting the same senseless platitudes as always.

“As I live and breathe! Erich!”

“How long as it been, child?”

“We’ve all missed you so much!”

“My, how you’ve grown!”

“Would you like a piece of pulderberry crumble?”

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come home…”


He pulled his arm away from one of the old men who had managed to get in close enough to grab hold of him. “Shut up and leave me alone, you animals!”

Unsurprisingly, the so-called ‘animals’ didn’t let up. They couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t even see anything. They were all trapped in this timeless place, between reality and purgatory, cursed to exist in a perpetual meaningless haze.

The only thing that ever garnered any sort of reaction from them was his presence. And he really hated it. In a past life, he lived among these people. They were like his family. But that was nothing but a distant memory now, and the people of this accursed city were little more than empty shells. Soulless, inhuman husks, devoid of any real substance.

But still not quite ‘dead’.

“The hell with this!” He suddenly dashed forward, leaving the delusional denizens in his dust. The sheer physical forces generated by his acceleration actually knocked several of them off their feet, but he didn’t care. He knew they couldn’t feel any pain. They’d just get right back up again and go back to their pointless meanderings through eternal bullshit.

He surged across another bridge and slid to a halt in front of a large round platform, made of the same pale-grey stone as the rest of the city. In reality, it wasn’t stone, but rather a sophisticated synthetic material designed to absorb and conduct Ether for various purposes. He stepped up onto the platform, and numerous rings of green energy lit up beneath his feet. Then the platform began to rise up, revealing its true nature as an elevator. It used no cables, though. It simply floated.

The elevator came to a stop at the base of the palace, which was situated in the center of Shevat, at its highest point.

He made his way through the empty courtyard towards the throne room, where Queen Zephyr was no doubt waiting for him.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Ship of Regret and Sleep”}

The throne room, like the courtyard, was a place of pristine beauty. Light shined in through giant stained-glass windows, bathing the interior in a dazzling array of colors.

Crim found it to be sterile.

But maybe that was only because he knew the underlying truth behind the façade. Speaking of which, an incandescent pale-green curtain swept itself to either side as he approached, revealing the tall, narrow throne of Shevat. And seated upon it was a young woman, appearing no older than her mid-teens.

“Zephyr,” said Crim with a slight nod. “You’re looking well. For a projection, I mean.”

“It has been a while, Crim,” Zephyr replied, her eerie calm voice echoed, even though Crim’s did not.

“Yeah, well…I hate this place.”

“That is fair. We deserve far more than your hatred, after all.”

“Never mind that now,” he said with a wave of dismissal. “I’ve come to get my stuff. But first, I need to access your archives. I remembered something.”

At this, the faintest trace of a smile appeared upon her youthful face. “That is wonderful. Yes, by all means, seek what you will. I shall aid you in any way I can.”

“Thanks.” He had already turned around was headed for the door. “Just make sure to keep those fucking husks the hell away from me.”

Zephyr looked on for a few seconds following Crim’s departure, and then, like a specter, flickered and vanished without a trace.

<><><><><><><><><><>

“Aha!” Crim exclaimed as he sat in front of a terminal, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist. “I knew it! So, that’s where it was all this time…how clever. Well, it’s all mine now!”

He got up and walked across the lavish suite that he had claimed for his own purposes. Not like anyone else was using it anyway. The entire palace was completely empty, save for the Queen, and she didn’t even technically exist, being that her consciousness was all that remained. More accurately, all that remained was a data program residing within the SOL-9000 that emulated her consciousness.

He jumped up and walked towards the closet, stepping over his dirty, worn-out Edenveld Knight attire on the way. If there was one good thing about Shevat, it was the room service. Which was really just a pedestrian way to say ‘advanced equipment fabrication’. He opened the door, and a plume of steam hissed into the room. When it cleared, a fresh new outfit was hanging there, tailor-made to his exact specifications.

First, his special Chocobocolina Chocbo Boxers! Razzmatazz!

Next, a pair of dark blue, relaxed-fit, boot-cut slacks, made of highly durable, heat-resistant, insulated nano-fiber material that provided an unparalleled level of comfort and defense while allowing for full freedom of movement.

Then a stylish black leather belt, which was imbued with the same nano-fibers as his slacks, as well as an enchantment that granted him increased resistance to gravity-based attacks.

After that, he slipped into his long-sleeved, white dress shirt, which as usual, he only buttoned up part of the way, while leaving his collar hanging loose and untucked. Like a boss. Also, the shirt was imbued with an enchantment that amplified his natural Ether Field, making it more potent.

Then, the coup’-de-grace, his iconic Turk Jacket. Made of incredibly heavy but also extremely durable materials, it would provide a surprising amount of raw physical and ether-based defense. Additionally, it was imbued with an effect that drastically increased his efficiency with Materia, enabling him to ‘insta-cast’ spells in rapid succession. However, the drawback was that it also severely restricted his physical strength. Normally, Crim would be capable of lifting multiple tons, even without increasing his physical strength via Ether Flow. But while wearing his Turk Jacket, his strength was reduced to around ‘peak human’ levels, meaning his maximum lift, without Ether Flow, would be limited to around 800 lbs, give or take. It also hindered, somewhat, his other physical skills, including his speed and agility.

Of course, this was all intentional. A self-imposed handicap, for the purpose of ensuring that he doesn’t go too far against weaker foes. Which is to say, most foes.

A pair of black socks and suave black shoes (sure-grip, waterproof, insulated and resistant to Fire/Ice/Earth!) completed his ensemble.

Now he was ready to tackle the Forgotten Sanctuary.

But first…it seemed that he had some guests to greet.

“Well…I’ll be damned,” he said to himself as he turned his head to look at the monitor, which now displayed a Lohengrin Class ship engage in docking procedures in the lower hangar bay of the floating city.

“Everything’s coming up Crimhouse!” he declared as he marched out of the room to meet up with his Crew at the docks.

<><><><><><><><><><>

It seemed as though Beck had been hard at work for the duration of Crim’s self-imposed exile on planet Regulus.

He had left the unnamed Lohengrin Class in the care of Beck, Halinn and Edward. Three people, one of whom wasn’t even really a Crew member (I’m lookin’ at you, Ed, ya lousy freeloader!). But instead of being greeted by two crew members (he figured that Ed would have taken off long ago), he was met by dozens. Beck had, over the span of several months, managed to track down and rescue an impressive number of the scattered Yggdrasil Crew members.

{BGM: “Thrust Through the Heavens with your Drill!”}

When Crim entered the hangar, a cheer erupted from the crowd of men and women who stood around just outside of the docked Lohengrin Class. Front and center, was Beck, his Chief Engineer and 3rd in command of the Crew (currently 2nd, due to Ralf Grey still being MIA).

And surrounding Beck were a number of his close comrades. Inner-circle members of his merry band of ne’er-do-wells.

Chloe Kleine, the pink-haired, well-endowed half-elf.

Dr. Yumi Uzumi, the Chief Medical officer and stern iron-lady.

Dr. Yoshu Shirokawa, the resident mad scientist/inventor extraordinaire.

Ratsel Feinschmecker, the top ace pilot and renowned gourmet.

Sanger Zonvolt, the other top ace pilot and paragon of manliness.

Chauncy Stiller, the hotheaded young helmsman with a lot to prove.

Mustachio Mangiallo, the biggest, ugliest bastard in the crew, with the hottest wife you’ve ever seen.

And, of course, Halinn and Edward.

Everyone was all smiles, and that included Crim himself. He couldn’t help it. And for once, his smile was borne of genuine happiness, as well as pride. Even in the face of such tremendous hardship, the bonds of friendship and trust between each and every one of the Crew held firm, and in the end, allowed them all to reunite with one another across time and space.

The cheering tapered off as Crim stopped several feet shy of the crowd. All eyes were upon him as he scanned the group, taking note of who was there…and who was not. Ultimately a bittersweet assessment. But there would be plenty of time to track down those who yet needed to be found. And also…plenty of time for revenge. But not just yet. First, the matter of a certain ancient ship needed to be addressed. And there was no time to lose.

“Everyone,” he said, pausing for a couple of seconds before continuing. “I know I let you down. I abandoned you in our greatest hour of need.” This was met with murmurs of disapproval. Crim went on. “And for that, I am truly sorry. I would fully understand if anyone chose to leave now.”

Beck spoke up in reply, his southern drawl as slick as ever. “Now, Cap’n, don’t be that way. We all went through hell, right? That includes you. I reckon you were just takin’ a well-deserved breather. Can’t say I ever seen ya take a real vacation even once since I known ya. Ain’t none of us gonna fault ya for that, ain’t that right, ya’ll?”

The group cheered once again in response, prompting Crim to smile yet again. Sometimes he wondered how he was able to inspire such loyalty among his Crew. He knew he had numerous flaws. He was impulsive, reckless, incorrigible, intolerant, mean-spirited, juvenile, misogynistic and crass, to name just a few.

But in spite of those flaws, or maybe (inexplicably) because of them, those who counted themselves as members of the Yggdrasil Space Pirates would follow him to hell and back. And then straight back down into hell once more just for fun. And he would do everything in his power to ensure that they all made it out alive, even if it meant sacrificing himself.

“Thank you,” Crim said. “All of you. I mean it. Now…let’s go get us a proper ship!”

This time, the roar of the crowd was almost deafening.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “The Elsa von Brabant”}

Crim stood in the middle of the Lohengrin Class’s bridge. It was a lot more cramped than he was used to, but it still felt good to be back in the saddle. Beck sat in the elevated Command chair off to the left, and the two main helm stations out front and towards either side were being manned by Chauncy (right side) and Mustachio (left side). The front-and-center piloting station was currently vacant.

They had departed Shevat several hours earlier, and not a single member of the Crew had opted to remain behind. Of course, Crim figured that might have had a lot to do with the fact that Shevat was a goddamn boring and creepy-ass place. Nobody in their right mind would want to stay there for any reason. Not unless they had a weird fetish for old soulless drones and suspicious AI programs.

Their destination was a well-hidden planet nestled away in a far-off pocket dimension that required numerous detours and backdoor shenanigans in order to find. One does not simply teleport into the Forgotten Sanctuary. But the Lohengrin Class was a speedy little thing, and thanks to his Geardam, Neo-Weltall still being connected to the ship’s powerplant, it was capable of inter-dimensional travel.

It wouldn’t be long now.

“Beck, you got things covered here?” Crim asked, raising an eyebrow slightly as he cocked his head in Beck’s direction.

“Yeah, ‘course I do. I’ve had this thing covered for months, ya know.”

“Ha ha ha, yeah. Well, I’m gonna head down to check up on Weltall. It’s been a long time.”

“Don’t worry, I kept him in top form for ya, Cap’n.”

“Thanks.”

The automatic doors slid open with a quick hiss as he approached. He emerged out into the hallway and immediately bumped into Chloe, who tumbled backward and landed flat on her ass.

“Oww!” she whined. “Dammit, you bastard! Why don’t ya watch where you’re going?” She extended her hand. “Well? Aren’t you gonna help me up?”

He reached out and pulled the half-elf to her feet. “Sorry, Chloe. Shoulda seen it coming. I’m just a bit distracted, I guess.”

This was clearly not the reaction that Chloe was expecting. Not even close. Her dumbfounded expression said it all. “Wha…what?”

“Huh?” Now it was Crim’s turn to look puzzled. “What do you mean ‘what’? And what’s with that look? Is there something on my face?”

Bewilderment quickly turned to anger, as it so often did. “All right, enough of this humility act! What’re you planning? Huh? I know you, Crim. You are up to something! And I demand to know what it is, right now!”

“Sorry, Chloe,” he said calmly as he brushed past her. “I don’t have time for this. But we’ll talk later, okay?”

As he vanished into the elevator at the other end of the hall, Chloe remained there, standing alone just outside the bridge with a blank look on her pretty face. She had absolutely no idea what just happened. Normally, Crim would have just clocked her one on the head instead of helping her up. And instead of apologizing, he would have browbeaten the hell out of her.

“What…the fuck?”

She turned around and headed off in the opposite direction.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Forgotten Sanctuary”}

Crim was the first to disembark from the ship, though the other members of his party, Chloe, Beck, Chauncy and Mustachio, were not far behind.

Surrounded on all sides by ancient towering walls and crumbling statues of gargantuan warriors, the group ventured away from the relative safety of the ship. They had a bit of a trek ahead of them, but it couldn’t really be helped. As they approached the coordinates that Crim had obtained from Shevat’s archives, a strange signal started jamming the ship’s guidance system, forcing them to land in the middle of what appeared to be a shrine of some sort. Fortunately, the ground was solid and mostly level, which made it an ideal spot anyway. Crim thought it was almost a little too convenient, but didn’t feel like wasting any time second-guessing the decision. So he picked a landing party and set out, leaving Ratsel and Sanger in charge of looking after the ship.

Initially, Edward and Halinn had volunteered to come along with his group as well, however, as a precaution, Crim decided that it might be best if they remained behind as well.

The group’s progress took them beyond the walls. This led them to an uneven road, which led straight to the front entrance of a massive derelict cathedral about a kilometer away.

Crim could make that trip in less than a second, but nobody else in his party possessed his particular gifts in the speed department. So they walked. Probably for the best, anyway. Something felt off about this place. Ominous. And the closer they got to the cathedral, the stronger the feeling became.

Finally, they arrived at the front doors of the cathedral, and of course, they were shut tight. Not that a couple of big old doors would be enough to keep Crim and company at bay. A quick Explosion spell courtesy of Chloe, and the doors were reduced to dust.

The interior of the cathedral was every bit as run-down as the exterior, though it still somehow retained an eerie sort of majesty about it. It was completely devoid of life, though, which Crim found to be a little strange. Usually, ruins like these were overgrown, but not here. Not even so much as a tiny scrap of moss or blade of grass to be found anywhere.

The group split up and searched the area. Crim knew that the answer was somewhere in this place, and it would only be a matter of time before they figured it out.

Beck and Chauncy headed up the rickety old stairway that led up into an old, empty library. Meanwhile, Mustachio and Chloe headed down into the crypt, which apparently housed a number of graves, as well as a sealed tomb.

Crim remained in the main sanctuary. It was a colossal space, easily big enough to accommodate thousands of people. Hell, he could have walked right in through the front doors with Weltall and still have plenty of head room to spare.

As he approached the pulpit, the feeling of unease grew more intense. It was like a dark, creeping nightmare, trying to break free from a prison that was ready to burst from the pressure.

And that’s when he heard Chloe scream.

In a flash, he was down in the Crypt, just in time to witness Mustachio cleaving a half-rotten humanoid thing in two with his giant single-edged 1000-KG Smash Saber.

“Arrgh, Cap’n!” shouted the large man with a wry grin. “Ye be late fer the party har-har!” He cleaved through another with a wide horizontal slash.

“Where’s Chloe?” he replied as he rushed in and kicked one of the foul creatures, snapping it in half just before it pounced on Mustachio’s blind side.

“Here!” said the half-elf as she slashed away with her sword, cutting down three of the creatures in short order. “These things just started coming out of the walls!”

“What in blue blazes are these things, Cap’n?” Mustachio asked while he pulverized two of them in a single stroke. “Zombies?”

“No,” Crim answered as he raised his right hand above his head, palm open. “Worse.”

The Rune of Heaven suddenly blazed with power, filling the entire crypt with brilliant pale green light. Shrill cries of agony scalded the trio’s ears as the Rune’s power burned the monsters to ash. And then, in the blink of an eye, the light was gone, taking with it any trace of evil.

Mustachio placed his blade in the sheath on his back. “So, not zombies, but worse? What the devil, Cap’n?”

“Those were Wels. Also known as ‘Reapers’.” Crim turned around and headed towards the stairs. “C’mon. I think I found something.”

Chloe and Mustachio exchanged glances then followed after Crim.

A few minutes later, the entire group was gathered in front of the pulpit.

“Did you and Chauncy find anything interesting up there?” Crim asked Beck.

“Nah. Nothin’ but dusty shelves.”

“And an old candelabra,” Chauncy chimed in.

“The hell was all that racket, anyway?” Beck inquired, shooting a worried look towards Chloe.

“Wels attacked Chloe and Mustachio in the Crypt.”

“Ah, shit…” Beck placed his hands on his hips and kicked the side of a nearby pew.

“It makes sense, though,” Crim said. “And it also means we’re on the right track.”

“I fucking hate those things…” said Chloe with a shiver.

“Yeah…nasty,” Chauncy agreed.

“It’ll be fine,” Crim reassured. “They’ve been here for ages with no sustenance. They’re brittle and weak. No real threat.”

“I sure hope you’re right,” said Beck with a concerned tone.

“Relax, I got it covered, ha ha. Now…let’s go!”

“Uh…go where, exactly?” Chloe asked.

“Down here!” And on that note, Crim let loose with a burst of blue Ki energy from his left hand, utterly demolishing the pulpit for no apparent reason.

“The hell did you do that for!?” Chloe coughed through the dust as it settled.

“Just look!”

Sure enough, the gaping hole that Crim had blown open revealed a hidden path leading down into the catacombs below.

Surely some kind of great and powerful secret awaited them there! Crim could practically taste the awesome in the air!

Tasted a lot like old dust, but whatever.

Onward they went into the deep dark abyss.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “The Jaws of Ice”}

Predictably, the catacombs were infested with Wels. And not just the dried out husks, either. Big bad fuckers of all sorts stalked the corridors, reeking of death and spreading vile pestilence around like beads at mardi gras.

But Crim and the others pressed forth, undeterred. It seemed that during their time apart, his allies had grown considerably stronger. Even Chauncy, who was once one of the weaker members of the Crew, displayed stunning skill and accuracy with his twin handguns. Crim didn’t even need to unleash the power of his Rune. Well, not too much. It was handy for expelling the twisted freaks with a mere touch, though. Wels, while a product of science gone awry, shared a great deal in common with mystical creatures. Demons and the undead, in particular. The Rune of Heaven thus recognized them as a threat, and did not see fit to punish Crim for disposing of them with extreme prejudice.

It took a while (maybe an hour, who’s counting?), but they finally fought their way to the deepest level of the catacombs, where they came upon something that seemed quite out-of-place.

“The hell is with this door?” said a confused Chloe. “It’s made of metal. Looks like something from the Ygg.”

“Yeah,” said Beck as he moved in for a closer look. “Looks like…a retinal scanner?”

“Hmm,” Crim nodded. “Yeah. Guess that’s my cue.”

Beck stepped aside, allowing Crim to stand before the scanner. And as soon as he got near it, the thing lit right up.

“Whoa!” Chloe exclaimed. “It works?”

“Yeah. This thing was probably built by…my predecessor.”

“Uh…yer whut?” asked Mustachio, scratching his head.

“Nevermind. Just watch.”

Crim leaned in towards the scanner, and a green beam of light shot into both of his eyes. A series of beeps ensued, and when they stopped, the beams receded, and Crim took a step back.

“That oughta do it.”

A few seconds passed, and nothing happened. Which did not excape Chloe’s notice.

“Nothing is happening, Crim. You broke it.”

He didn’t answer.

“Hello? This thing isn’t working! Let’s just blast it the fu-whoa!”

A loud grinding noise took Chloe by surprise, causing her to nearly trip over her own feet. The doors began opening, rock and dust crumbling along the edges as they vanished into the walls.

Crim turned to face his allies, smirking in his usual manner.

“Shall we?”

They entered the mysterious facility, and shortly after they did, the doors sealed themselves tight once again.

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Reno
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Reno,Oct 25 2013
10:40 PM
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Renogears: Parallel Works

{BGM: “New Days”}

Crim Kisaragi awoke to the unpleasant racket of his alarm clock screeching like some kind of dying animal. He rammed his head under his pillow in a futile attempt to block the noise out, knowing full well what was coming next…

“Crim!” shouted his mother as she tore the covers away from him. “You’re going to be late for school. Again!”

“Urrgh…” grumbled the lanky red-haired teenager as he grabbed at thin air in an effort to reclaim his lost blankets. “Sleep now, school never.”

“Oh no you don’t! Hiya!” she yelled as she somehow upended his entire mattress in a single deft move, sending the boy sprawling to the floor.

“Ow!” he exclaimed upon hitting his head hard against the corner of his desk, which caused a pile of unfinished homework to come crashing down upon him. “C-child abuse!”

“Don’t give me that crap, you delinquent!” she declared dismissively. “You’re going to school no matter what, you hear me? Now hop to it!” She slammed the door to his room as she left him alone to get dressed. “And don’t think I won’t barge in there in a minute to make sure you’re dressed! You know I’m not beyond using force to get what I want!”

The color drained from his face. That overly pleasant tone in her voice told him that she was serious. There wasn’t a second to lose. In thirty seconds flat, she’d be back. Which now left him with twenty-eight seconds to get ready.

He leaped head-first into his closet and pulled his wrinkled white uniform shirt on in the blink of an eye. In the next blink, he had one leg in his pants, and then the other, though this caused him to fall flat on his back into a pile of random magazines. Undeterred, he rolled aside and somehow managed to zip and button up all in one motion. In any other situation, such a feat might have actually been impressive, but not here. Not now.

Rolling forward, he grabbed his dark blue uniform coat and slid his right arm into one sleeve, grabbing his cell phone from his desk as he did so. He stood up, slid his other arm into the remaining sleeve, and reached for the doorknob, just in time to meet his mother face-to-face as she appeared well before his allotted minute was up.

“Why that lying…” he thought as he struggled to keep his cool in the face of certain doom.

“Oh, so you figured it out, huh?” she said with a sinister fake pout. “I’m a little disappointed. Oh well.” She turned on her heel and headed down the hall. “Maybe next time. Come on now, come have some breakfast. If you don’t hurry, your little sister will eat all the bacon again.”

“Agh! Not again!”

He made a mad dash for the kitchen.

<><><><><><><><><><>

“Damn you, Christina! You could have at least saved a little for me!”

“Sorry, bro,” replied the violet-haired schoolgirl as she bit down on the last strip of delicious bacon. “Snooze ya lose!”

“Listen, you little shit!” Crim snapped as he slammed both palms onto the kitchen table.

“Mom, Crim’s swearing again!”

“Language, Crim!” came his mother’s voice from down the hall. The sing-song tone of it practically froze the blood in the boy’s veins, but he wasn’t quite ready to give up just yet.

He leaned in across the table, glaring daggers at his nauseatingly perky little sister, and spoke quietly through gritted teeth. “Well I hate to break it to you, fatty, but your plan to stick it to me is actually sticking to you!”

Christina’s light purple eyes widened as she swallowed the last of the bacon, bringing her hand up to her midsection as she did so. Crim smirked in triumph as a look of abject terror appeared upon his darling sister’s face.

“Oh my god I need to purge!” shrieked Christina as she jumped out of her chair and made a beeline for the washroom.

Still smirking, the devious teenager grabbed a piece of toast from the table as he sauntered off towards the front door.

“Serves the brat right,” he thought as he chomped down on the toast while picking his backpack up off the floor.

“Okay!” he yelled with his mouth full. “I’m headin’ to school now! I got kendo club after class so I’ll be home late!”

His mother poked her head around the corner, smiling so cheerfully that it nearly sent a chill up Crim’s spine. “Bye-bye, sweet-sweet treasure!”

And that did it. Full blown spine-chill. He mustered up something resembling a wave and quietly closed the door.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he ventured out into the narrow street. That sure was a close call this time…

As he walked around the corner out towards the main road, his spirits were given a boost upon being treated to the telltale sound of his little sister puking her guts out in the upstairs bathroom of his house. He let out a chuckle and continued on his way with just a slight hint of a smile on his face and a barely noticeable spring in his step.

What kind of older brother took pleasure in aggravating his kid sister’s ongoing body-image issues?

Yeah. This kind.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Want to be Close”}

Crim was greeted at the front gates of Yigurasiru High by his two closest friends, Rude Murakami and Elena Murakumo.

“Yo,” said Crim as he walked past them.

“You’re late again,” Elena replied as she turned and followed after him. Rude did the same, but said nothing.

“Couldn’t be helped,” he said with a shrug.” You know how it is. Besides, it’s not like I forced you to wait around for me. It’s your own damn fault if you’re late too.”

The petite blonde girl looked like she was about to say something, but for whatever reason, thought better of it and kept her mouth shut.

Rude, meanwhile, simply pushed his jet black shades closer to his eyes and remained as stoic as he ever was. Rock solid guy, in more ways than one, that Rude.

Then the bell rang, and the three of them parted ways. Rude was a junior, so his homeroom was up on the third floor. Elena and Crim were both sophomores, so their homerooms were on the second floor. Elena was in class 2-1; Crim was in 2-2.

Even though he technically wasn’t late for school, Crim still managed to, somehow, be late for homeroom. He strolled into class, looking disheveled as usual with his uniform shirt half-tucked-in, jacket fully unbuttoned with the collar wide open. The spitting image of a true delinquent.

“Thank you for joining us, Mr. Kisaragi,” said his homeroom teacher, Ms. Yumi Uzumi. “This makes two in a row. You know what happens after a third.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Crim grumbled as he took his seat at the back of the class next to his buddy Ludwig Einstein, a blond-haired blue-eyed foreign student and card-carrying member of Crim’s gang.

“Yo, dude!” Ludwig whispered as soon as the teacher’s back was turned. “You tryin’ to piss her off or what?”

“The fuck do I care? he answered as he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up over his desk. “I ain’t afraid of some lonely malcontent spinster with a bug up her ass.”

At this, Ludwig chuckled, but the student seated to the other side of Crim wasn’t quite so amused. The rather busty girl with pink hair, olive skin and golden eyes shot a venomous glare directly at Crim.

“Don’t be so fucking rude, asshat!” she said in a harsh ‘whisper’.

Eyes shut and prepped for a nap, Crim responded to the girl in a dismissive tone. “Up yours, Chloe.”

“What!?” she replied, clearly offended. “How dare you! Why don’t you just drop the macho act already, you fucking pansy!”

He opened his eyes. “Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Stupid whore.”

Obviously, the argument had escalated well past the point of no-return. All eyes in the classroom, including Ms. Uzumi’s, were on the two of them. And Ms. Uzumi’s eyes in particular burned with classic teacher-rage.

Chloe realized their predicament first and quickly clammed up and sat back down, bowing her head in shame. Crim, however, didn’t let up. Whether it was because he didn’t know or didn’t care was anyone’s guess.

“Seriously, the only time you ever shut that motorized claptrap of yours is when you’re sucking off a guy you barely know because you can’t resist whoring it up no matter how hard you try. So just cut the phony good-girl act and go jump off a ledge or something.”

Maybe he went too far, this time. Chloe, eyes welling up with tears, leaped out of her seat and rushed out the door, leaving an apparently unremorseful Crim sitting there with his eyes shut while everyone else just stared at him, mouths agape at his sheer cruelty and audacity.

All except Ms. Uzumi, whose eyes were practically on fire at this point.

“That’s it!” she screamed directly at Crim, causing him to actually fall backwards out of his chair. “You! Principal’s office! NOW!”

“Jesus Christ!” Crim yelped as he stumbled to his feet and hauled ass outta there as fast as possible.

Once he was a safe distance away from the righteously pissed-off teacher, he slowed down to his usual hunched-over saunter and jammed his hands in his pockets.

“Fucking crazy broads…” he muttered to himself.

About a minute later, he arrived at his destination, but instead of barging right inside he just stood there staring blankly at the door for several seconds.

“Why’d I hafta go and say all that stupid shit anyway…?”

Steeling himself for whatever fate had in store for him, he gripped the handle, but before he could open the door, someone else pulled on it from the other side.

“Who the fuck…?” Crim’s eyes narrowed as he released his grip on the door. “Oh…you.”

{BGM: “Fatal Fight” (ver. 3.0)}

He stood face-to-face with a tall boy with steel-grey eyes, long blue hair, and a no-nonsense air about him. It was almost like the two of them were polar opposites, and the tension between them was immediately apparent.

The blue-haired boy merely scoffed in reply, which only served to make Crim’s already foul mood just that much worse.

“What, you gonna harass me too, Dias?” Crim leaned forward. “Bring it, you fuckin’ goody-two-shoes!”

Dias shrugged and shook his head as the slightest hint of a smile crept up onto his pretty-boy face. “I have no reason to harass anyone, least of all a two-bit thug like you.”

“Tch! Oh yeah? Well, least I’m not in here butt-kissin’ every day! What, you run outta lip balm or somethin’? Ha!”

“Not that it’s any of your concern, but my duties as Vice-President of the Student Council require due diligence.” He brushed past Crim as he spoke. “I don’t expect someone like you to understand the concept. But I do expect you to respect it.”

“Man, shut the fuck up.” Crim wheeled around, still hunched over with his hands in his pockets. By contrast, Dias stood up straight, and looked damn-near regal in his school uniform, which he wore with pride, unlike Crim.

“I take it you were sent here due to delinquent behavior again? I really wish you would behave yourself. It reflects badly on the rest of us when you and your ‘gang’ cause trouble, you know.”

“Yeah, like I care,” Crim snapped as he turned around and started walking away, leaving Dias standing alone in the empty hallway. The Student Council Vice-President made no effort to try and get the red-haired gang leader to reconsider his actions, because he knew full-well that it would only lead to more trouble.

“He never learns,” Dias thought with a frown as he turned and walked off in the opposite direction.

<><><><><><><><><><>

It wasn’t until lunchtime that Crim resurfaced again. This wouldn’t be the first time he had ditched all of his classes for no good reason, and it surely wouldn’t be the last.

Then again, maybe not. His unruly behavior as of late has only grown more blatant, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by the faculty. In truth, it was only a matter of time before they’d just give up on him entirely. There were plenty of other students more deserving of attention. Student who wanted to make something of themselves. Students who wanted an actual future.

Why bother with a perpetual ne’er-do-well like him? Waste of time and effort trying to rehabilitate a lost cause.

None of that mattered to Crim anyway. It barely even registered as an issue. Or perhaps it did, and he was just attempting to play it off as inconsequential in order to reinforce his tough guy image. Lying to himself, and, like a sucker for the ages, actually buying into the lie. That was either a testament to his skills as a con-artist, or proof positive that he had some real messed-up shit going on in his head.

Still, in spite of his entire morning being soured by the double-whammy of his ex-girlfriend (Chloe) and his rival (Dias) giving him the gears, he saw no reason to forego his regular lunchtime meeting.

The core members of his gang had all gathered at their usual spot on the school roof, and he sat there alongside them in his usual place, with his back resting against the high chain-link fence which bordered the ledge on all sides.

Rude and Elena sat next to him on his right and left, respectively. Across from the three of them, sitting on the ground with his back against an air vent was Ludwig, who was busying himself peeling an orange.

Two other gang members lingered nearby. The freshmen, Hotaru Tsukino and Gren Goemon. Hotaru, a svelte dark-haired goth-esque chick, sat cross-legged on the ground next to the stairwell door. Gren, a scrawny, moody-looking guy, leaned cross-armed against the stairwell around the corner, somewhat out of view.

And that was the ‘gang’ as it were. Although truth be told, they didn’t actually do a whole lot. Sure, they all liked to strut around and act tough, but in the end, all they managed to accomplish was occasionally making people uncomfortable with their senseless roughhousing and random troublemaking. And really, the only ones who ever even got themselves in any sort of hot water over such antics were Crim and Rude. And between the two of them, Crim was by far the worst offender. The others were more or less just along for the ride, because they didn’t really have anywhere else to belong.

And that suited each one of them just fine. After all, it was easier to be given a place to belong that it was to make one for yourself. Everyone had their own individual reasons for being there, and though they all may have stemmed from personal or even selfish desires, the end result remained the same.

For his part, Crim was highly protective of his ‘Crew’, as he called them, and would always go to great lengths to help them out however he could. It made him feel like he was needed, which in turn gave him a sense of purpose that he couldn’t find anywhere else.

{BGM: “Like a Dream Come True”}

Crim looked up at the sky and sighed loudly, which prompted a curious response from Ludwig.

“What’s the matter, boss? You bored again?” He popped a slice of his orange into his mouth.

“Nah,” Crim answered halfheartedly.

“He’s upset about what happened with Chloe,” Elena chimed in.

“Idiot!” snapped Crim.

Rude let out a chuckle, but said nothing.

“I don’t hear you denying it…” said Hotaru in her quiet, monotone voice.

“Cuz I don’t need to deny shit!”

“Maybe you should try and make up with her?” Gren suggested.

“Like hell!”

Rude chuckled again.

“Seriously though, boss, you really laid into her this morning,” said Einst after swallowing his orange slice. “The whole school is talking about it.”

“So the fuck what? She deserves it.”

“Well they’re mostly talking about you, actually,” said Elena.

“Yeah? Well good.” Crim spring to his feet and flexed his bicep. “That’ll make ‘em all think twice about messin’ with us! Right!?”

The subdued reaction from his cohorts was less inspiring that Crim would have liked. He stood there for a few seconds longer before slumping back down.

“Bah, fuckin’ hell…”

Just then, the bell rang out, signaling the start of afternoon classes. Everyone got up and headed back downstairs through the stairwell. Everyone save for Crim and Elena. He remained seated, while she stopped just in front of the door.

“You know, Crim…”

“Yeah? Out with it.”

“…Nevermind.”

“Tch…”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She left him without another word.

He sat alone, staring up into the sky.

“What…just what in the hell have I been doing all this time?”

He closed his eyes.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Awakening”}

When he next opened his eyes, the sky was dark red, and everything around him appeared to be a dull, lifeless grey.

Sunset?

What time was it?

He checked his watch.

00:00:00

“What the…?” he muttered.

He stood up. Something wasn’t right.

“Hello?” he called out, even though he was pretty sure there was nobody else around.

“Shit.”

He walked to the stairwell door and pulled on it.

Locked. Great.

“Must’ve slept through the entire goddamn day…”

But it’s not like this was the first time he’s ever done that. Hell, it was pretty much his favorite thing to do at school. Well, one of his favorite things.

So why did he have this uneasy feeling?

He looked at the sky again. It was red like blood.

“This is getting fuckin’ weird.”

Having little recourse, he strolled up to the stairwell door once again, and kicked the bloody thing off its hinges.

“Damn straight.”

Descending into the dark, a strange thought occurred to him. He thought “I wonder how the others are doing?”

That in and of itself wasn’t strange. It was natural for a leader to worry about his subordinates. Only it wasn’t his Crew that he was thinking of.

Or was it?

He shook his head as he opened the door that led into the top floor hallway. Except the door didn’t lead to where he knew it should have. Instead, it opened into a place that he didn’t recognize and couldn’t even describe, at least not initially.

{BGM: “Forgotten Sanctuary”}

Huge stone statues in the shape of giant warriors lined the high walls for as far as he could see in either direction. A massive path of white marble cut through the center of the cavernous space, with enormous obelisks jutting up from the ground in an alternating pattern alongside.

The stunned redhead stumbled forward, and as he did, the door he came through faded away.

Finally, he managed to regain some semblance of his senses. But just as he did, he tripped over a loose piece of stone that had fallen from a crumbled pillar, and landed flat on his ass.

“Ow! Fuckin’ hell!”

His voice echoed loud and long throughout the mysterious ruins. He looked up at the ceiling, but couldn’t make out anything distinct. It was almost like looking up into the sky during a cloudy night.

For a while, he just sat there, dumbfounded. None of this made any sense to him (color=red]Speak for yourself![/color]). One minute he was napping on the roof of the school, the next he was in…wherever the hell this weird place was. It was definitely unlike anything he’d ever seen or experienced before.

All he could do was laugh. A quiet chuckle at first, but soon it erupted into a full-blown, side-splitting fit. What else could he do? This had to be a joke, and as far as jokes went, this one was pretty damn funny.

{BGM: “Who Goes There?}

Then, like a sudden jolt of electricity shocking him right in the brainstem, his revelry was cut short by a disembodied voice that struck him to his very core.

“Yeah, laugh it up, you ridiculous fool.”

A cold sweat chilled Crim to the bone. “Who…who’s there!?”

“Ha! Clueless as usual. What a joke.”

Crim scurried to his feet and assumed an unsteady fighting stance. “Show yourself, you freak! C’mon!”

The owner of the voice sighed. “Very well, if you insist.

{BGM: “The One Who is Torn Apart”}

Crim spun around when he heard menacing laughter echoing from behind him. And what he saw filled him with a sense of unfathomable dread.

Standing before him was a tall, pale-faced man with long, untamed crimson hair that flowed freely about his body, which was clad in what appeared to be black armor that pulsed with red-hot veins of seemingly boundless energy. Crim had no idea how he knew this to be the case, but he was nonetheless certain of it. He could somehow feel the seething malice emanating from the man, and it was terrifying.

With psychotic deep-amber eyes, the man glared across the space that separated them, and laughed again.

“Ha ha ha…look at me, laughing like a clown. What a hypocrite I am. But you’re just so…amusing.”

Crim was speechless. He couldn’t move a muscle. It was like he was paralyzed. Even breathing was becoming difficult.

“Oh, you’re still clinging to this cheap charade?” The pale-faced man began walking towards Crim, sneering with contempt as he drew closer. “Well, if nothing else, you’ve always been a tenacious one. Frankly, that’s probably the only reason we’ve survived this long.” He halted his advance and swept his right arm to one side. “Makes me sick just thinking about it.”

With the sweep of the pale-faced man’s arm, the unseen forces that had been paralyzing Crim faded away all at once. The red-haired teenager collapsed to one knee, gasping for air.

“Get up,” demanded the pale-faced man, his voice dripping with venom. “What a disgrace.”

Crim coughed and staggered to his feet. The pale-faced man stood mere inches away from him now. He steeled his frayed nerves, and looked the other man straight in the eyes.

“W-what the…?” was all Crim could spit out.

“So, you finally understand,” Id replied, still sneering. “It’s about time.”

“You’re…me…?”

“Of course I am. Thou art I and I art thou, or some stupid psychobabblicious tripe like that. Point is, we’re one in the same, you and I.”

“But that’s impossible.” Crim took a step backwards. “None of this shit is real. This is a…”

“Dream? A nightmare? Ha! Well, in a sense.” Id vanished, only to reappear behind Crim once again. “More accurately, this is your mind. Our mind. You’ve locked yourself away in this silly little fantasy because the going got a little tough in the real world. Boo fucking hoo. It’s time for you to wake up.”

“I…I…”

“Don’t you dare say I can’t, or I swear I will turn you inside-out.”

Stunned silence was Crim’s only reply. This pleased Id.

“That’s more like it. Now, let’s get you back to the land of the living…if you can even call what you do ‘living’.”

Before Crim could react, Id lunged forward and blasted the teenager in the face with a wave of black energy which sent him flying back into a swirling vortex that had all of a sudden manifested out of nowhere. Crim vanished from the ruins, leaving only a faint echoing scream in his wake. Then everything began to crumble away, revealing a stark white nothingness just below the façade. Id stood alone in the midst of the void for a moment before his form flickered and faded as well.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Crim snapped awake with a startled cry that might have been just a tad too high-pitched for his liking. Fortunately, nobody was around to hear it.

He rubbed the back of his aching head as he slowly stood up. At first, he couldn’t quite remember where he was, or what he was doing. Something in his mind had been stirring recently, and it left him feeling somewhat uneasy, but also refreshed. Perhaps it was just the benefit of the powernap though.

“Still,” he said out loud. “What a stupid dream, ha ha ha…”

The details of the dream remained fresh and vivid in his mind. A rather an amusing thought, that there might be another version of himself living an entirely different life off in some far-flung corner of the Omniverse. It gave him cause to chuckle as he continued to regain his bearings.

Yes, this was the R&D Department of the Shin-Ra Building. Right where he needed to be. And if this realm worked the way he thought it worked, he would be out of here in a few short minutes.

As the Captain proceeded through the dark laboratory, surrounded by relics of a past life that he had long since left behind, he couldn’t help but reminisce a little about the past. The good times, the not-so-good times. Even the royally-fucked-up times. Most of it remained hazy, at best, but some things stuck out. For instance, he remembered that he had left a pair of weapons in storage in this very lab. Maybe they would still be right where he left them? No harm in taking a quick look. So he ventured down a path leading to his left, and stopped in front of a door marked as EXPERIMENTAL WEAPON STORAGE ROOM 1A.

“Open,” he said to the computer panel, which immediately began scanning him.

“BIO-SCAN COMPLETE. WELCOME, MISTER PRESIDENT.”

Crim stepped inside and the room lit up, revealing a pedestal surrounded by what appeared to be a glass case. Behind the glass, resting upon a traditional-style display rack, was a matching katana and wakizashi set.

“Deactivate stasis field.”

“DEACTIVATING STASIS FIELD. ONE MOMENT PLEASE.”

He waited a moment, and as promised, the field went down and the glass case pulled itself up into the ceiling.

“Come to papa,” Crim said with a grin as he picked up the sheathed blades and tucked them into his belt. He then spun around and drew the katana in a flash, slicing through the empty air with the shimmering dark blue-grey blade.

It felt good to hold Murakami again. Along with its companion short sword, Murakumo. Adding the two of them back into his arsenal would no doubt prove to be quite useful in the coming days.

Sheathing Murakami as he made his exit, Crim resumed his journey through the labyrinthine corridors of the R&D Department. Most people would get horribly lost within minutes in this place, but not him. Even if he didn’t remember a single thing about the layout, his innate senses would be more than adequate to guide his path.

It wasn’t long before he reached his destination. A set of massive blast doors loomed before him, marked with all manner of warning symbols ranging from nuclear to chemical to biological. This was the heart of the R&D Department. The top-secret Special Projects section. Only top brass had access to this place, and with good reason. Even knowing about some of the experiment that had been conducted here could have had tremendous far-reaching effects on a global scale.

And that was precisely why he had come here.

He passed through another bio-scan, in addition to a verbal code verification and a manual password input. There was a brief pause as the system booted up. A loud hissing noise was heard as jets of steam shot out from all four corners of the door, signifying that the locks had been disengaged. Finally, they began to slowly slide apart. Crim waited for a few seconds before walking into the pitch dark room. As before, the lights came on automatically, but this time, instead of being presented with a pair of swords, he was greeted to the sight of a large apparatus with a circular stage-like platform that was connected to a whole bunch of thick red cables that ran along the floor and up towards the ceiling. A control terminal stood off to the right side of the device, connected to over a dozen wide-screen monitors, each one displaying massive amounts of data.

Crim headed straight for the terminal, and glanced across the monitors. After taking it all in, he pulled out the keyboard and began to type, rapidly inputting what appeared to be coordinates.

“There. That should do it. Hopefully there’s enough juice left in the system to get me there.”

He hit ENTER, which initiated a countdown sequence, then spun on his heel and approached the elevated platform of the large machine. Energy began flowing through the numerous cables and conduits that were connected to the device, which now hummed at an ever-increasing pitch. Crim hopped up onto the platform, turned back around, and waited for the timer to reach zero.

3…

2…

1…

0…

This was, in fact, Shin-Ra’s first fully functional Dimensional Transporter. And it would seem that this realm, while merely a ‘shadow’, still retained various elements of the real thing. A ‘functional replica’ of sorts.

A swirling white and blue tunnel through space and time opened up and swallowed the Captain in an instant. And just as the ruins within his mind had crumbled away into an empty void, so too did this realm. Without Crim’s influence to sustain it, it simply ceased to be.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Shevat – The Wind is Calling”}

While it was a bit of a bumpy ride compared to what he was used to, Crim emerged unscathed at his chosen destination.

He stood upon a narrow bridge made of smooth grey stone, with nothing but blue skies and clouds both above and below.

“Hmph. Aim was a bit off,” he muttered to himself as he began walking towards the tower at the far end of the bridge.

If one were to be provided with a bird’s eye view of this curious place, they would be treated to quite the majestic sight indeed. A glorious saucer-shaped city, floating aimlessly through an endless sky with no sun shining on high nor any solid ground nestled beneath.

For his part, Crim was unimpressed. He had no reason to be distracted by the eerie beauty of this place, seeing as this was hardly his first visit to Shevat and all.

He made it through the base of the tower and out the other side without running into anyone, but by the time he reached the platform that led towards the central palace, Aphel Aura, he encountered several native Shevites.

“Is that little Erich?” asked an ancient-looking woman who approached Crim from the left. “Why, it’s been ages. How have you been, child? Where is your mother? I would love to catch up with her. Oh, it’s been ages…”

The Captain ignored the old crone and picked up his pace. The last thing he wanted was to get caught in a mob of these batty old relics.

They came in droves, reaching for him with bony arms, clawing with decrepit fingers, spouting the same senseless platitudes as always.

“As I live and breathe! Erich!”

“How long as it been, child?”

“We’ve all missed you so much!”

“My, how you’ve grown!”

“Would you like a piece of pulderberry crumble?”

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come home…”


He pulled his arm away from one of the old men who had managed to get in close enough to grab hold of him. “Shut up and leave me alone, you animals!”

Unsurprisingly, the so-called ‘animals’ didn’t let up. They couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t even see anything. They were all trapped in this timeless place, between reality and purgatory, cursed to exist in a perpetual meaningless haze.

The only thing that ever garnered any sort of reaction from them was his presence. And he really hated it. In a past life, he lived among these people. They were like his family. But that was nothing but a distant memory now, and the people of this accursed city were little more than empty shells. Soulless, inhuman husks, devoid of any real substance.

But still not quite ‘dead’.

“The hell with this!” He suddenly dashed forward, leaving the delusional denizens in his dust. The sheer physical forces generated by his acceleration actually knocked several of them off their feet, but he didn’t care. He knew they couldn’t feel any pain. They’d just get right back up again and go back to their pointless meanderings through eternal bullshit.

He surged across another bridge and slid to a halt in front of a large round platform, made of the same pale-grey stone as the rest of the city. In reality, it wasn’t stone, but rather a sophisticated synthetic material designed to absorb and conduct Ether for various purposes. He stepped up onto the platform, and numerous rings of green energy lit up beneath his feet. Then the platform began to rise up, revealing its true nature as an elevator. It used no cables, though. It simply floated.

The elevator came to a stop at the base of the palace, which was situated in the center of Shevat, at its highest point.

He made his way through the empty courtyard towards the throne room, where Queen Zephyr was no doubt waiting for him.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Ship of Regret and Sleep”}

The throne room, like the courtyard, was a place of pristine beauty. Light shined in through giant stained-glass windows, bathing the interior in a dazzling array of colors.

Crim found it to be sterile.

But maybe that was only because he knew the underlying truth behind the façade. Speaking of which, an incandescent pale-green curtain swept itself to either side as he approached, revealing the tall, narrow throne of Shevat. And seated upon it was a young woman, appearing no older than her mid-teens.

“Zephyr,” said Crim with a slight nod. “You’re looking well. For a projection, I mean.”

“It has been a while, Crim,” Zephyr replied, her eerie calm voice echoed, even though Crim’s did not.

“Yeah, well…I hate this place.”

“That is fair. We deserve far more than your hatred, after all.”

“Never mind that now,” he said with a wave of dismissal. “I’ve come to get my stuff. But first, I need to access your archives. I remembered something.”

At this, the faintest trace of a smile appeared upon her youthful face. “That is wonderful. Yes, by all means, seek what you will. I shall aid you in any way I can.”

“Thanks.” He had already turned around was headed for the door. “Just make sure to keep those fucking husks the hell away from me.”

Zephyr looked on for a few seconds following Crim’s departure, and then, like a specter, flickered and vanished without a trace.

<><><><><><><><><><>

“Aha!” Crim exclaimed as he sat in front of a terminal, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist. “I knew it! So, that’s where it was all this time…how clever. Well, it’s all mine now!”

He got up and walked across the lavish suite that he had claimed for his own purposes. Not like anyone else was using it anyway. The entire palace was completely empty, save for the Queen, and she didn’t even technically exist, being that her consciousness was all that remained. More accurately, all that remained was a data program residing within the SOL-9000 that emulated her consciousness.

He jumped up and walked towards the closet, stepping over his dirty, worn-out Edenveld Knight attire on the way. If there was one good thing about Shevat, it was the room service. Which was really just a pedestrian way to say ‘advanced equipment fabrication’. He opened the door, and a plume of steam hissed into the room. When it cleared, a fresh new outfit was hanging there, tailor-made to his exact specifications.

First, his special Chocobocolina Chocbo Boxers! Razzmatazz!

Next, a pair of dark blue, relaxed-fit, boot-cut slacks, made of highly durable, heat-resistant, insulated nano-fiber material that provided an unparalleled level of comfort and defense while allowing for full freedom of movement.

Then a stylish black leather belt, which was imbued with the same nano-fibers as his slacks, as well as an enchantment that granted him increased resistance to gravity-based attacks.

After that, he slipped into his long-sleeved, white dress shirt, which as usual, he only buttoned up part of the way, while leaving his collar hanging loose and untucked. Like a boss. Also, the shirt was imbued with an enchantment that amplified his natural Ether Field, making it more potent.

Then, the coup’-de-grace, his iconic Turk Jacket. Made of incredibly heavy but also extremely durable materials, it would provide a surprising amount of raw physical and ether-based defense. Additionally, it was imbued with an effect that drastically increased his efficiency with Materia, enabling him to ‘insta-cast’ spells in rapid succession. However, the drawback was that it also severely restricted his physical strength. Normally, Crim would be capable of lifting multiple tons, even without increasing his physical strength via Ether Flow. But while wearing his Turk Jacket, his strength was reduced to around ‘peak human’ levels, meaning his maximum lift, without Ether Flow, would be limited to around 800 lbs, give or take. It also hindered, somewhat, his other physical skills, including his speed and agility.

Of course, this was all intentional. A self-imposed handicap, for the purpose of ensuring that he doesn’t go too far against weaker foes. Which is to say, most foes.

A pair of black socks and suave black shoes (sure-grip, waterproof, insulated and resistant to Fire/Ice/Earth!) completed his ensemble.

Now he was ready to tackle the Forgotten Sanctuary.

But first…it seemed that he had some guests to greet.

“Well…I’ll be damned,” he said to himself as he turned his head to look at the monitor, which now displayed a Lohengrin Class ship engage in docking procedures in the lower hangar bay of the floating city.

“Everything’s coming up Crimhouse!” he declared as he marched out of the room to meet up with his Crew at the docks.

<><><><><><><><><><>

It seemed as though Beck had been hard at work for the duration of Crim’s self-imposed exile on planet Regulus.

He had left the unnamed Lohengrin Class in the care of Beck, Halinn and Edward. Three people, one of whom wasn’t even really a Crew member (I’m lookin’ at you, Ed, ya lousy freeloader!). But instead of being greeted by two crew members (he figured that Ed would have taken off long ago), he was met by dozens. Beck had, over the span of several months, managed to track down and rescue an impressive number of the scattered Yggdrasil Crew members.

{BGM: “Thrust Through the Heavens with your Drill!”}

When Crim entered the hangar, a cheer erupted from the crowd of men and women who stood around just outside of the docked Lohengrin Class. Front and center, was Beck, his Chief Engineer and 3rd in command of the Crew (currently 2nd, due to Ralf Grey still being MIA).

And surrounding Beck were a number of his close comrades. Inner-circle members of his merry band of ne’er-do-wells.

Chloe Kleine, the pink-haired, well-endowed half-elf.

Dr. Yumi Uzumi, the Chief Medical officer and stern iron-lady.

Dr. Yoshu Shirokawa, the resident mad scientist/inventor extraordinaire.

Ratsel Feinschmecker, the top ace pilot and renowned gourmet.

Sanger Zonvolt, the other top ace pilot and paragon of manliness.

Chauncy Stiller, the hotheaded young helmsman with a lot to prove.

Mustachio Mangiallo, the biggest, ugliest bastard in the crew, with the hottest wife you’ve ever seen.

And, of course, Halinn and Edward.

Everyone was all smiles, and that included Crim himself. He couldn’t help it. And for once, his smile was borne of genuine happiness, as well as pride. Even in the face of such tremendous hardship, the bonds of friendship and trust between each and every one of the Crew held firm, and in the end, allowed them all to reunite with one another across time and space.

The cheering tapered off as Crim stopped several feet shy of the crowd. All eyes were upon him as he scanned the group, taking note of who was there…and who was not. Ultimately a bittersweet assessment. But there would be plenty of time to track down those who yet needed to be found. And also…plenty of time for revenge. But not just yet. First, the matter of a certain ancient ship needed to be addressed. And there was no time to lose.

“Everyone,” he said, pausing for a couple of seconds before continuing. “I know I let you down. I abandoned you in our greatest hour of need.” This was met with murmurs of disapproval. Crim went on. “And for that, I am truly sorry. I would fully understand if anyone chose to leave now.”

Beck spoke up in reply, his southern drawl as slick as ever. “Now, Cap’n, don’t be that way. We all went through hell, right? That includes you. I reckon you were just takin’ a well-deserved breather. Can’t say I ever seen ya take a real vacation even once since I known ya. Ain’t none of us gonna fault ya for that, ain’t that right, ya’ll?”

The group cheered once again in response, prompting Crim to smile yet again. Sometimes he wondered how he was able to inspire such loyalty among his Crew. He knew he had numerous flaws. He was impulsive, reckless, incorrigible, intolerant, mean-spirited, juvenile, misogynistic and crass, to name just a few.

But in spite of those flaws, or maybe (inexplicably) because of them, those who counted themselves as members of the Yggdrasil Space Pirates would follow him to hell and back. And then straight back down into hell once more just for fun. And he would do everything in his power to ensure that they all made it out alive, even if it meant sacrificing himself.

“Thank you,” Crim said. “All of you. I mean it. Now…let’s go get us a proper ship!”

This time, the roar of the crowd was almost deafening.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “The Elsa von Brabant”}

Crim stood in the middle of the Lohengrin Class’s bridge. It was a lot more cramped than he was used to, but it still felt good to be back in the saddle. Beck sat in the elevated Command chair off to the left, and the two main helm stations out front and towards either side were being manned by Chauncy (right side) and Mustachio (left side). The front-and-center piloting station was currently vacant.

They had departed Shevat several hours earlier, and not a single member of the Crew had opted to remain behind. Of course, Crim figured that might have had a lot to do with the fact that Shevat was a goddamn boring and creepy-ass place. Nobody in their right mind would want to stay there for any reason. Not unless they had a weird fetish for old soulless drones and suspicious AI programs.

Their destination was a well-hidden planet nestled away in a far-off pocket dimension that required numerous detours and backdoor shenanigans in order to find. One does not simply teleport into the Forgotten Sanctuary. But the Lohengrin Class was a speedy little thing, and thanks to his Geardam, Neo-Weltall still being connected to the ship’s powerplant, it was capable of inter-dimensional travel.

It wouldn’t be long now.

“Beck, you got things covered here?” Crim asked, raising an eyebrow slightly as he cocked his head in Beck’s direction.

“Yeah, ‘course I do. I’ve had this thing covered for months, ya know.”

“Ha ha ha, yeah. Well, I’m gonna head down to check up on Weltall. It’s been a long time.”

“Don’t worry, I kept him in top form for ya, Cap’n.”

“Thanks.”

The automatic doors slid open with a quick hiss as he approached. He emerged out into the hallway and immediately bumped into Chloe, who tumbled backward and landed flat on her ass.

“Oww!” she whined. “Dammit, you bastard! Why don’t ya watch where you’re going?” She extended her hand. “Well? Aren’t you gonna help me up?”

He reached out and pulled the half-elf to her feet. “Sorry, Chloe. Shoulda seen it coming. I’m just a bit distracted, I guess.”

This was clearly not the reaction that Chloe was expecting. Not even close. Her dumbfounded expression said it all. “Wha…what?”

“Huh?” Now it was Crim’s turn to look puzzled. “What do you mean ‘what’? And what’s with that look? Is there something on my face?”

Bewilderment quickly turned to anger, as it so often did. “All right, enough of this humility act! What’re you planning? Huh? I know you, Crim. You are up to something! And I demand to know what it is, right now!”

“Sorry, Chloe,” he said calmly as he brushed past her. “I don’t have time for this. But we’ll talk later, okay?”

As he vanished into the elevator at the other end of the hall, Chloe remained there, standing alone just outside the bridge with a blank look on her pretty face. She had absolutely no idea what just happened. Normally, Crim would have just clocked her one on the head instead of helping her up. And instead of apologizing, he would have browbeaten the hell out of her.

“What…the fuck?”

She turned around and headed off in the opposite direction.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “Forgotten Sanctuary”}

Crim was the first to disembark from the ship, though the other members of his party, Chloe, Beck, Chauncy and Mustachio, were not far behind.

Surrounded on all sides by ancient towering walls and crumbling statues of gargantuan warriors, the group ventured away from the relative safety of the ship. They had a bit of a trek ahead of them, but it couldn’t really be helped. As they approached the coordinates that Crim had obtained from Shevat’s archives, a strange signal started jamming the ship’s guidance system, forcing them to land in the middle of what appeared to be a shrine of some sort. Fortunately, the ground was solid and mostly level, which made it an ideal spot anyway. Crim thought it was almost a little too convenient, but didn’t feel like wasting any time second-guessing the decision. So he picked a landing party and set out, leaving Ratsel and Sanger in charge of looking after the ship.

Initially, Edward and Halinn had volunteered to come along with his group as well, however, as a precaution, Crim decided that it might be best if they remained behind as well.

The group’s progress took them beyond the walls. This led them to an uneven road, which led straight to the front entrance of a massive derelict cathedral about a kilometer away.

Crim could make that trip in less than a second, but nobody else in his party possessed his particular gifts in the speed department. So they walked. Probably for the best, anyway. Something felt off about this place. Ominous. And the closer they got to the cathedral, the stronger the feeling became.

Finally, they arrived at the front doors of the cathedral, and of course, they were shut tight. Not that a couple of big old doors would be enough to keep Crim and company at bay. A quick Explosion spell courtesy of Chloe, and the doors were reduced to dust.

The interior of the cathedral was every bit as run-down as the exterior, though it still somehow retained an eerie sort of majesty about it. It was completely devoid of life, though, which Crim found to be a little strange. Usually, ruins like these were overgrown, but not here. Not even so much as a tiny scrap of moss or blade of grass to be found anywhere.

The group split up and searched the area. Crim knew that the answer was somewhere in this place, and it would only be a matter of time before they figured it out.

Beck and Chauncy headed up the rickety old stairway that led up into an old, empty library. Meanwhile, Mustachio and Chloe headed down into the crypt, which apparently housed a number of graves, as well as a sealed tomb.

Crim remained in the main sanctuary. It was a colossal space, easily big enough to accommodate thousands of people. Hell, he could have walked right in through the front doors with Weltall and still have plenty of head room to spare.

As he approached the pulpit, the feeling of unease grew more intense. It was like a dark, creeping nightmare, trying to break free from a prison that was ready to burst from the pressure.

And that’s when he heard Chloe scream.

In a flash, he was down in the Crypt, just in time to witness Mustachio cleaving a half-rotten humanoid thing in two with his giant single-edged 1000-KG Smash Saber.

“Arrgh, Cap’n!” shouted the large man with a wry grin. “Ye be late fer the party har-har!” He cleaved through another with a wide horizontal slash.

“Where’s Chloe?” he replied as he rushed in and kicked one of the foul creatures, snapping it in half just before it pounced on Mustachio’s blind side.

“Here!” said the half-elf as she slashed away with her sword, cutting down three of the creatures in short order. “These things just started coming out of the walls!”

“What in blue blazes are these things, Cap’n?” Mustachio asked while he pulverized two of them in a single stroke. “Zombies?”

“No,” Crim answered as he raised his right hand above his head, palm open. “Worse.”

The Rune of Heaven suddenly blazed with power, filling the entire crypt with brilliant pale green light. Shrill cries of agony scalded the trio’s ears as the Rune’s power burned the monsters to ash. And then, in the blink of an eye, the light was gone, taking with it any trace of evil.

Mustachio placed his blade in the sheath on his back. “So, not zombies, but worse? What the devil, Cap’n?”

“Those were Wels. Also known as ‘Reapers’.” Crim turned around and headed towards the stairs. “C’mon. I think I found something.”

Chloe and Mustachio exchanged glances then followed after Crim.

A few minutes later, the entire group was gathered in front of the pulpit.

“Did you and Chauncy find anything interesting up there?” Crim asked Beck.

“Nah. Nothin’ but dusty shelves.”

“And an old candelabra,” Chauncy chimed in.

“The hell was all that racket, anyway?” Beck inquired, shooting a worried look towards Chloe.

“Wels attacked Chloe and Mustachio in the Crypt.”

“Ah, shit…” Beck placed his hands on his hips and kicked the side of a nearby pew.

“It makes sense, though,” Crim said. “And it also means we’re on the right track.”

“I fucking hate those things…” said Chloe with a shiver.

“Yeah…nasty,” Chauncy agreed.

“It’ll be fine,” Crim reassured. “They’ve been here for ages with no sustenance. They’re brittle and weak. No real threat.”

“I sure hope you’re right,” said Beck with a concerned tone.

“Relax, I got it covered, ha ha. Now…let’s go!”

“Uh…go where, exactly?” Chloe asked.

“Down here!” And on that note, Crim let loose with a burst of blue Ki energy from his left hand, utterly demolishing the pulpit for no apparent reason.

“The hell did you do that for!?” Chloe coughed through the dust as it settled.

“Just look!”

Sure enough, the gaping hole that Crim had blown open revealed a hidden path leading down into the catacombs below.

Surely some kind of great and powerful secret awaited them there! Crim could practically taste the awesome in the air!

Tasted a lot like old dust, but whatever.

Onward they went into the deep dark abyss.

<><><><><><><><><><>

{BGM: “The Jaws of Ice”}

Predictably, the catacombs were infested with Wels. And not just the dried out husks, either. Big bad fuckers of all sorts stalked the corridors, reeking of death and spreading vile pestilence around like beads at mardi gras.

But Crim and the others pressed forth, undeterred. It seemed that during their time apart, his allies had grown considerably stronger. Even Chauncy, who was once one of the weaker members of the Crew, displayed stunning skill and accuracy with his twin handguns. Crim didn’t even need to unleash the power of his Rune. Well, not too much. It was handy for expelling the twisted freaks with a mere touch, though. Wels, while a product of science gone awry, shared a great deal in common with mystical creatures. Demons and the undead, in particular. The Rune of Heaven thus recognized them as a threat, and did not see fit to punish Crim for disposing of them with extreme prejudice.

It took a while (maybe an hour, who’s counting?), but they finally fought their way to the deepest level of the catacombs, where they came upon something that seemed quite out-of-place.

“The hell is with this door?” said a confused Chloe. “It’s made of metal. Looks like something from the Ygg.”

“Yeah,” said Beck as he moved in for a closer look. “Looks like…a retinal scanner?”

“Hmm,” Crim nodded. “Yeah. Guess that’s my cue.”

Beck stepped aside, allowing Crim to stand before the scanner. And as soon as he got near it, the thing lit right up.

“Whoa!” Chloe exclaimed. “It works?”

“Yeah. This thing was probably built by…my predecessor.”

“Uh…yer whut?” asked Mustachio, scratching his head.

“Nevermind. Just watch.”

Crim leaned in towards the scanner, and a green beam of light shot into both of his eyes. A series of beeps ensued, and when they stopped, the beams receded, and Crim took a step back.

“That oughta do it.”

A few seconds passed, and nothing happened. Which did not excape Chloe’s notice.

“Nothing is happening, Crim. You broke it.”

He didn’t answer.

“Hello? This thing isn’t working! Let’s just blast it the fu-whoa!”

A loud grinding noise took Chloe by surprise, causing her to nearly trip over her own feet. The doors began opening, rock and dust crumbling along the edges as they vanished into the walls.

Crim turned to face his allies, smirking in his usual manner.

“Shall we?”

They entered the mysterious facility, and shortly after they did, the doors sealed themselves tight once again.

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