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`The Annoying Gossipy´; Issue 2
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Topic Started: Jun 17 2012, 10:44 PM (445 Views)
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Victor
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Jun 17 2012, 10:44 PM
Post #1
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`H`. When you have an opinion, you are revolted. When you don't say a thing, you are a coward. When you don't like, you are either butthurt or jealous. When you like, you are an ass-kisser.
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Front Page Gryffindor: House of Sluts
Lately, most students around the school are talking about Slytherin. Bad about Slytherin. 5th and 7th year Ravenclaw and Slytherin students were talking about how many Slytherins they have slept with, while 5th and 7th year Hufflepuff students were talking of how many Slytherins are probally pregnant. In conclusion, they all confirm that Slytherin is the slut-est House. Is it true?
I, Fossor, did not belive in such fact. I actually had my thoughts that Gryffindor was more slut-er than Slytherin.
I was right.
I asked 10 people from Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff (only 10 because the rest of the people tried to avoid me, I don't know why) about which, of the 4 Houses, is the slut-est House and why.
- 9 out of 10 Slytherins said Gryffindor is because most of the female Gryffindors like to wear tight clothes and talk about boys all the time.
- 7 out of 10 Ravenclaws said Gryffindor is because they even confirm sleeping with, at least, 2 Gryffindors.
- 10 out of 10 Hufflepuffs said that they don't know.
If just the fact that a few Gryffindor girls slept with a few boys isn't enough to prove that Gryffindor is the slut-est House, then you should take a look at this evidence: Professor Freenlore, Head of Gryffindor, got laid with about 6 different guys! Out of this 6 times in bed with different guys, she got pregnant 4 times. That means she is a slut mom and Head of House.
How does it few, Gryffindors, that your Head of House is probally in bed with another guy, right now, while you are reading this?
Page 2 More about Violette Frenlore
Most of the students already know the basics of Professor (Violette) Frenlore. She is the Head of Gryffindor, a mom, favourite subject is Transfiguration, among other facts. But do people know what's behind that fake little smile on her face?
I found some interesting facts about her from a source that I'd like to keep it anonymous.
Violette Frenlore was known to do a terrible job at any position she had. She went from The Leaky Cauldron waitress to the slut Head of House she is today. She was also a criminal, running away from the Ministry due to her connections with the Frenlore and Golgotha family. Unfortunately, I don't know much details about these events.
From The Leaky Cauldron waitress, she went to Head of the Transfiguration Department, then to the Head of the Defence Against the Dark Arts Department, now she is the Head of House. I wonder how many times she had to sleep with the Headmaster to conquer these positions. Any sane Headmaster would have thrown her at Azkaban instead of hiring her again and again and again. But we are talking about the same Headmaster who almost burned the Grand Staircase twice.
Not only she is terrible at any position she has, she is also a terrible mother. First of all, we are talking about a mother in which slept with 6 different guys. She has 4 kids that came from a different father. I wonder if they know that already. Probally yes because one of her kids, Leo Frenlore, that is only 12 years old, went to Lilina Golgotha, the lesbian Duelling Professor, a few days ago, asking about sex. Sex positions, how babies come from the woman, and stuff like that. He also said that he heard these things from her mother, that probally don't care about what she says with her kids near.
If you have any other information about this hell of a person, feel free to send a letter to me, Fossor, or simply put it on a large poster and put it around the school.
Page 3 Ravenclaw: House of Angry Nerds
Most of the students already know that Ravenclaws are nothing but lifeless nerds that spend half of their life studying than having a social life. But who would've known that they don't have friends because they are socially agressive, and not just because they are nerds.
Jacob Bagshot is an excellent example for this.
Just a few days ago, maybe yesterday, while I was planning what to do to cheer up the students on the Grand Staircase, I saw Jacob coming down the steps with his wand at ready. When I less expect, he already stunned one Ravenclaw, disarmed another one and kicked a Gryffindor. When I asked why he did, he simply said:
"We, Ravenclaws, try to make people stop acting like idiots, even if we have to hurt them".
However, all the stunned Ravenclaw was trying to do is levitate a feather, while the disarmed one was trying to help the stunned one. The Gryffindor was kicked because, according to Jacob, he was "on my way".
Another good example about these socially agressive Ravenclaws is another Jacob, called Jacob Ravenscroft.
This other Jacob is so socially agressive that he even hired a Gryffindor called Phoenix Dakota Gabor to be his private slave! That's right, a Gryffindor is a Ravenclaw's slave. Maybe she is forced to do sexual acts with him aswell, like a regular Gryffindor.
I found that out when I was floating on the Astronomy class, ready to disturb it, when I saw the Gryffindor, that is an Animagus, on her lion form, coming down the steps and entering the classroom. She was searching for her owner, switched to her normal human form (I doubt that her human form is normal) and sat next to him, like a slave would do to his owner.
When I asked why she accepted to be his little slave, she simply showed me the middle finger and told me to f*** off several times, just like a regular nerdy and agressive Ravenclaw.
If you happen to spot Phoenix Dakota Gabor or Jacob Ravenscroft, be careful not to mention this slave relationship between them. Things might get agressive and you may end up on the Hospital Wing, next to Lanx Scamander, the healer that dates ghosts.
Page 4 Head Boy Losing His Power?
Being a Head Boy is having the position in which you show people that they should fear you like they fear the SS. Make them respect your opinion and never answer back to you.
Seems like it's not working so well for Greg Natnon.
This Head Boy should go back to daycare and stay there untill he finds out that butterflies won't harm you with its magical powder (yes, he actually belives in that, according to a few students). So far, what has he done? Spread a few howlers to students that, surprisingly, are more annoying than me. Eat books that I encouraged him to swallow. Argue against the Quibbler. What is wrong with him?
A decent Head Boy wouldn't just argue with a newspaper with ANOTHER newspaper. He would punch the newspaper staff in the face. Throw a bookcase at them. Harm or nearly kill them. But we are talking about a Head Boy that is a Gryffindork, so there's why he isn't so brave.
Greg Natnon, if you are reading this, here's my advice to you:
As you read this next part, a loud scream would come out of the paper, like a howler is shouting at you, saying  Act as your position tells you to! Punish these bastards! Hang them up from the Astronomy Tower with an arrow on their chests! Don't create another newspaper against them! This will show them that you are weak! Pherhaps you really are weak!
Page 5 What is Witch Weekly?
Lately, a lot of new newspaper with a lot of crazy names have been coming out with fresh news. The Hogwartian, The Quibbler, The Annoying Gossipy. But then I saw this one that got my attention, called Witch Weekly. I got suprised of how useless this newspaper is.
Basically, it's a full newspaper with only one page including 2 articles, and I can assure you that the first article is a full lie.
I knew that newspapers included a few lies to make it look popular, but this one exceeded my expectations.
Remember last week when I said about the gay Gryffindor student that liked to hug poltergeists? Well, basically, this newspaper "interviewed" this boy and told the fake version of what happened. Here's the exact quote of what the boy said:
"I was in the boy's lavatory when [Fossor] walked, well, floated into the bathroom. I was in a stall, disposing of the waste in my bladder. The annoying ghost thing kept peeking over the door, and I begged him to quit it. He got offended and then opened the door from the inside, making my covered backside available to him. I begged him to go away, but instead he rushed over and pulled my pants down. He rubbed his hand eerily over my butt cheek, while I was still urinating. He told me to give him a hug every single time I saw him or else he'll tell everybody that "I was gay." When I got to the Grand Staircase, he gave me a mean looking face which meant for me to do his requested order. I did what he asked, but then some of my peers saw me doing that. He smirked and went over to them and started whispering to them and then to other children. I didn't know about what, until a whole lot of kids started calling me homosexual. I was devastated, so I had to tell you Angelica. Fossor also whispered nasty explicit sayings that described sexual activities when he passed me in the corridors. He makes me scared to wake up sometimes - which is why I fix my area in the dormitory so [Fossor] knows I am not hiding anything from him."
Thank you, Witch Weekly. I needed a good laugh, and this piece of troll manure made me laugh so loud that I think the whole school heard.
Where should I begin? Well, first of all, I didn't know that boys used the Boy's Lavatory. I just thought that they just invade the Prefect's or Girl's bathroom or did what they needed to do on the Grouds or on the Lake. Actually, I never really knew there was a Boy's Lavatory.
Second of all, the only times I go to the bathroom, Prefect's bathroom that is, is to fill balloons with water from their big bathtub. And everytime I go there, it's always empty.
Also, if I ever think of putting down a boy's pants and... what did you say? "He rubbed his hand eerily over my butt cheek". This makes me laugh everytime. Anyway, if I ever think that, be assure that I would definitely NOT do that to you, Gryffindork. Some boys may think you are handsome, but you seriously need to work out more. You look like a chubby Hufflepuff after Christmas.
Witch Weekly, I just wish that next time you happen to tell a lie, I would suggest picking the Head Boy. He got a lot of secrets that a newspaper like you would love to share to the world.
Page 6 Reader's Opinion
Got any complaint? Suggestion? Any news you want to be published? Or just want to say how much you love me? Well, it's simple! Simply send a letter to me and I'll put it on the next week's issue, along with a nice little answer. Anything's permited on your letter. I mean it. Anything. At all.
OOC note To send the letter to me, simply send a PM to Victor including your letter, habbo name (optional), character name (necessary), House (necessary) and year (optional).
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Sockpuppie
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Jun 17 2012, 10:48 PM
Post #2
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Raised by a pack of Zombies
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Lol surprised I'm still the Lesbian dueling professor after Fossor overheard that one convo. >:D
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Victor
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Jun 17 2012, 10:50 PM
Post #3
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`H`. When you have an opinion, you are revolted. When you don't say a thing, you are a coward. When you don't like, you are either butthurt or jealous. When you like, you are an ass-kisser.
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You will always be the lesbian professor 
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Xenon
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Jun 17 2012, 10:57 PM
Post #4
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|-- 💋 --|
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HOW DARE YOU VICTOR LOL
OHHELL NO
"ALL SPELL GONNA BREAK LOOSE"
This isn't over..
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Victor
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Jun 17 2012, 11:02 PM
Post #5
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`H`. When you have an opinion, you are revolted. When you don't say a thing, you are a coward. When you don't like, you are either butthurt or jealous. When you like, you are an ass-kisser.
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Brikachu
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Jun 17 2012, 11:06 PM
Post #6
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=^_^=
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Hey ok first things first all 4 kids came from the same father, who is the only guy I married IC! ALSO LEO ISN'T MY SON...
*Violette rages as she reads this article*
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Jordan
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Jun 17 2012, 11:30 PM
Post #7
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pew pew
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lol
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Nero
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Jun 17 2012, 11:43 PM
Post #8
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Common sense.
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- Bri
- Jun 17 2012, 11:06 PM
Hey ok first things first all 4 kids came from the same father, who is the only guy I married IC! ALSO LEO ISN'T MY SON...
*Violette rages as she reads this article*
*Pamela reads the article in her office on the sixth floor.*
*Coughs* Frenslut.
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Toxis
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Jun 18 2012, 06:30 PM
Post #9
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:)
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Thank you for the advice :}
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Samantha,
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Jun 26 2012, 05:05 PM
Post #10
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crashing the teenage party since 2002
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That's it boy, your going down
cracks knuckles
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kolten
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Jun 26 2012, 06:42 PM
Post #11
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LOL. Victor, I love you even more after reading this.
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Gem
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Jun 26 2012, 07:31 PM
Post #12
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So hilarious!!
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Xenon
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Jun 26 2012, 11:18 PM
Post #13
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|-- 💋 --|
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Erm.. necropost by Samantha ;x
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Marta
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Jun 27 2012, 01:28 AM
Post #14
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Mama Divination
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Dear god..
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Alexx
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Jun 27 2012, 01:32 AM
Post #15
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Do you think about me still?
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.... THE HOUSE OF SLUTS?!
Oh, who am I kidding. I slept with Marta and Callum like twenty times and rape Victor twice a week.
How dare you.
At least I'm not in this article :}
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10:00 AM May 18