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| Chronicles of Nickelodia; Some random but structured nonsense | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 6 2006, 07:04 AM (459 Views) | |
| ceig13 | Oct 6 2006, 07:04 AM Post #1 |
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The Right Reverend Cosmopolitan of Bampton Underhoop
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Author's note: Some random fic I first posted in deviantArt. Ripped off from a Family Guy episode, all characters in this self-insertion are owned by Nickelodeon. Chronicles of Nickelodia: The Prelude A taxi stopped in front of City Hall, and out stepped a purple-haired Caucasian in his late forties, wearing a striped tie, dark green jacket and light blue trousers. Following him was an equally-fashion-insensitive and bespectacled Filipino guy of 18 years of age, wearing a white polo shirt tucked out, black pants and a blue denim jacket. The guard just let them in. “Ma’am, can we meet the Development Officer for the City?” the Filipino teen said at the reception desk. “For what, may I ask?” the receptionist queried. “We’d like to have a new portal installed at the adjoining street from our studio to decongest the entrance to our side of Cartoon World. Mr. Stuart Pickles here has the door ready, but we would like to secure a permit to use the contraption and a safety clearance from quality control…” “Hey, it works just fine!” “Please Mr. Pickles, just let me do the talking… As I was saying, when can we meet him?” The receptionist looks at her logbook and finds the time. “He’s ready in half an hour. Please wait.” After thirty minutes of waiting, they discuss the affairs with the Development Officer. He shows the plans of the area to him. “I don’t get it… Why not your bosses?” he asked in a puzzled way. “Oh, they say it’s not in their power to construct a new cartoon-real world portal. Anyway, the old one at the janitor’s closet is so overused.” “Mr. Ceig13, I’m sorry to say,” he said as he brought out a map of the Nickelodeon Studios, “but it doesn’t fall in our jurisdiction either.” “You mean to say we should be talking to NBC Universal instead?” “Not even. Your studio, as are the other studios and facilities used by all animated persons, are not even under the jurisdiction or sovereignty of the United States-” “I am not an animated person!” “Fine, you aren’t, but your companion is, as are all the characters of my favorite shows and videogames. International technicality exempts fictional characters on broadcast media from citizenship of the country of origin, and extends this to the fictional settings where these characters are resident.” “In short, you’ve been working in another country.” All silence. “One question,” Stu asked the Development Officer. “Yes?” “You used to work for the UN, didn’t you?” “Yes, I did.” |
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| ceig13 | Oct 6 2006, 07:05 AM Post #2 |
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The Right Reverend Cosmopolitan of Bampton Underhoop
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Chapter 1: Break Away “I didn’t know this studio was huge enough to fit in a dense crowd,” Ceig13 remarked as he entered along with his partner-in-business and padrino Stuperman. “By dense you mean...” “Both ways. Anyway, you have your job to do, and sadly I have mine. See ya later!” Both part ways and the former approaches the podium as a mine detector to a pockmarked minefield. “Testing one, two, testing one, two, testing,” he begins, and when he realizes that the microphone works, he begins his prepared speech in front of the hushed crowd of characters. “Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, yours truly, along with Mr. Stu Pickles-Tommy and Dil’s dad, for those of you who still do not know him despite the long time you’ve worked with him in lighting and props,-went to City Hall to get a permit to operate a dimensional portal at another part of the studio. But, the Development Officer, uhmmm... uhh...” He fidgeted for a while before he brought out two sock puppets and proceded to play out a dramatization with a dollop of bitterness and a touch of sarcasm. “Hey, Mr. D.O., we want to build a new portal on Block 16, and we were wondering if we can build it here...” “No, because we’re not in charge of it.” “Who are we supposed to call then,Tallahassee?” “No, they’re not in charge of it either.” “Washington?” “No frickin’ way. Frankly, unless you join the UN, you’re on your own.” No comment from the audience. And then a question. “Did you get a permit? Slap on the brow. “Let’s say no.” And he continued: “We face the same problems Singapore did in the 1960’s. We have been expelled by a government which does not want anything to do with any one of us, having large problems of their own to worry about. You, old veterans, you fought for a country which now has nothing to do with you and your descendants (unless you count your pensions). And you, young children, the government that flies Old Glory has now forsaken you.” The feeling of patriotism was building up. “We must now, having been abandoned to our own devices, strive to build and preserve a stable, able and durable government, like all the other cartoons in the world!” Said patriotism was deflated immediately. “All the cartoons in the world?” “I can’t believe we’re not original!” Ceig13 tried to calm the crowds. “Wait, wait, wait! We have an opening! Cartoon Network: presidential republic. Fox: absolute monarchy. Disney: constitutional monarchy. We can have a parliamentary republic with all the fancy-schmancy accoutrements alongside it! Anyone in favor, stand.” So half stood. “I assume the rest of you are against?” Ten percent of them stood. “And I assume the rest of you are undecided. Ah well, we have a majority. I’ll have the constitution drafted tomorrow. And as they say in Latin, Ite missa est! Go forth, you are sent. Thank you!” And he left grumbling about what he had gotten himself into. “Hey, ceig13, nice speech!” Tommy smiled. “Although I don’t envy the overweight job piled up on you.” “Why thank you for the consolation, Pickles,” he replied. “Now I need a figurehead president who will distract attention from all the crimes against democracy I’m about to make. Someone exuding a healthy dose of popularity, the sly wit equal or greater than mine, and a dose of moral strength-” Suddenly, a car stopped in front of the studio, and out came Trixie Tang, with Veronica and a burly security guard in tow. “Heck, two out of three can’t be that bad. Hey, Trixie, I think I have something to ask you about...” |
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| ceig13 | Oct 20 2006, 10:09 PM Post #3 |
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The Right Reverend Cosmopolitan of Bampton Underhoop
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Chapter 2: Operation Häagen-Dazs An Announcement to the Sovereign Citizens of the Independent State of Nickelodia Fellow Citizens: A confusing week ago, a visit to City Hall to obtain a transworld portal permit opened the door to our discovery of our independence from the jurisdiction of the United States. When your humble correspondent tried to explain the system of government we were to implement, some of you were lost in the discussion, so I, as temporary and provisional government (pending an easier and more democratic one in the future) have drafted a whole constitution for your approval. I have already approached your local mayors about the issue, and after a town hall meeting I hope to hear about your suggestions. Trusting in your active participation, Ceig13 P.S: Due to unbelievably popular demand, Miss Trixie Tang shall indeed be inaugurated as transitional president until the constitutional approval. +++++ Dimmsdale City Hall’s second floor was unbelievably hot and stuffy for a place with centralized air conditioning. Nevertheless, that was not the main reason why the self-proclaimed transitional authority was sweating like a pig as he pored over the suggestions given by the citizenry. “Let’s see... ban on frog dissection, free shiny nickel tours-jellyfishing as national sport? What the heck?-what else...” The door opened to reveal the All Grown Up gang, close friends of his (at least seven are), entering single file in silence. Despite this, he noticed them. “What’re all of you doing here?” “Well, told you someone doesn’t appreciate us here,” Angelica retorted. “Oh grow up Ange, just because he didn’t give you a more prominent role in the sketches doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate you,” Susie advised before turning to the teener behind the desk. “Anyway, we just want to drop by to say hello and give you some lunch-you haven’t eaten the entire day.” He turned his eyes from the letters to them. “Oh thanks. Just set them at the side.” Tommy, Lil and Phil set a lunchbox each on the table, while Kimi laid a thermos on an empty side of the desk. “What’s this-no wait, it’s miso soup!” he exclaimed as he opened the flask before him. “My favorite!” “Mom had to call some relatives to get it right,” Kimi replied with a hint of pride. “Best I’ve ever tasted,” he affirmed as he drank the yellowish soup from the cover which he used as a cup. “Oh, I’ve had this for a long time now-tell her to reply RSVP.” He handed out an envelope to her. “Oh, Angelica, your mother needs a better job. I suggest you get her this one to her as well.” He now turns to the lunchboxes. “Sweet! I didn’t know any of you have heard about chicken adobo, and yet you cooked some for me!” He brought out some crackers, and after some pleading, got the reluctant ‘rats to eat with him. “‘Get her this one as well?’ Must be some sort of office job he’s offering,” Angelica conjectured after a long lunch break, as the gang went their separate ways. +++++ Ceig13 looked at the people gathered around the table. They were a hotch-potch farago of inexperienced people, but hey, that’s the pot calling the kettle black! All the folks were clutching their letters: on one end, Vice Principal Lancer, Mr. Grey (Valerie’s dad), Drew Pickles and the mayor of Retroville. On the other side were Vice-Principal Pangborn, Charlotte Pickles, Nora Wakeman, two generals, an admiral, and Kira Watanabe-Finster. A chair between her and the Vice-Principal remained empty, upon which he quickly filled. “Ladies and getlemen, sorry to have gathered you in your sleeping or vacation attire, but let’s get to brass tacks shall we?” He has a screen rolled down and a projector played to state his positions more clearly with a PowerPoint presentation. “You have been chosen because you have so far had the most intelligent contributions to the town hall meetings held last Tuesday. As you can see, the moment you have opened your envelopes it meant you accepted my offer to become transitional ministers in my government. If you decide to both burn the letter and skip,that means you have declined the invitation. If you came here with the letter to ask what this is all about, consider yourself a minister as well, and not even leaving will change a darn thing. “Next, let’s focus on the draft constitution. As you can see before you, I’ve worked hard to cobble up a working draft of the constitution for approval by referendum. However, it seems to be waaay too complicated for the average Joe to understand, so I’d like anyone to throw their two cents’ worth with regards to the draft.” The de facto cabinet examined the folders containing the draft. At this all three military officers went up. “Sir, with all due respect, it is not in our mandate to comment on civilian duty, civilian superiority with the military and all,” the army general said. “Oh yeah, I forgot-ladies and gentlemen, these are the officers of the soon-to-be Nickelodeon Armed Forces-General Witherspoon, Army; General Kerkavian, Air Force-top of his class in Colorado Springs, I should add; and Admiral Steinbugler, Navy and Marines. Go on, I completely forgot about that.” The three officers filed out silently as he continued. “As I was saying, any questions?” “Uhmm,” Lancer asked as he read the draft, “don’t you think this is a bit too unfamiliar with the people here? I can only name a few people who have been in a parliamentary system here.” “Not to mention,” Kira hastened to add, “this document hints of authoritarian tendencies... And what’s the deal with the inclusion of the clause ’except in cases stated by law’ in the Bill of Rights and Duties?” "Some of the folks are not that dumb, ceig13,” Pangborn assented. “We have enough wiseasses to deprive the Constitution of the two-thirds majority it needs. Besides, nobody in their knowing minds will vote for a claptrap charter which calls for a strong prime minister, a weak court and a distributarian economy.” “Yes, quite,” ceig13 replied. “We already have a well-informed section of the public against this draft...” And then the years of reading about Philippine history hit him. “Aha! We’re gonna push through with the elections. I just have some things to do...” +++++ A debate broke out on the public squares of different cities and counties of the land. Many supported the draft for its strong pro-life message and the novelty of the parliamentary system (just like Canada, they say) while others vehemently opposed its authoritarian justifications and lack of social spending programs (like Singapore without the good hospitals and rich people, the detractors say). At Amity Park, three police vans arrive at the station and dropped off some prisoners-two males-an African and a Caucasian-and a girl in Gothic get-up among them-escorted by guards. “I told you the protest was such a bad idea,” Tucker wisecracked. Who knew there technically was no First Amendment to invoke?” Sam just groaned. “FINE! So I didn’t notice the vans playing out the Miranda Rights before the riot squad went in. Who greenlights such violations of basic human rights anyway?” “Vice-Principal Lancer, that’s who,” Danny replied as they were shoved into a cell. “LANCER??!!!” the two student friends exclaimed. “Yup. While I was on patrol, I saw him head to a police station. Turns out he’s now the Minister of Internal Affairs as well-he had a car flag and a vanity plate.” “No wonder he’s been out for such a long time! Those fascist jerks are gonna have their asses kicked for this! Come ballot time, I‘m gonna talk to my rarely-there parents and tell them to vote NO to that constitution of oppression!” A guard approached the cell where they were confined ad began to open the bars. “Somebody bailed you out. Samantha Manson, another one and it’s the firing squad for you.” “Oh, so they sneaked in the death penalty for responsible dissent too?” “No, you’ll just be stuck in a room listening to Donald Trump practicing his trademark lines at you. It’s gonna be HUGE!” +++++ “Hi, I‘m Chet Ubetcha, and this week, Turkmenistan, Venezuela and North Korea have become the fifth, sixth and seventh countries after the Kingdom of Disneyland, Murdochian Empire of Fox, the United States and the Cartoon Network Republic sent their recognition last week. Foreign Minister Kira Watanabe-Finster has been travelling around the world to gather support from, ahem, more peacefully-inclined nations. “In other news, it appears that the polls for the iron-hand constitution have indicated a 54% approval rating, much lower than previously hoped. And with the provisional government not backing down on the draft, a deadlock appears to be in motion this coming Tuesday.” The TV turned off as ceig13 looked at the chart showing the decline of support for the draft before him. “Well, that does it. Time for Operation Häagen-Dazs.” He reaches for the microphone on his desk. Campbell, give me the Elections Commission...” +++++ The next cabinet meeting was tense as the results came in. Ceig13 was pacing like a father waiting for his baby while the others were leisurely seated on the chairs, waiting for the exit polls to come out. Only Kira was reading something: the ballot sample. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. You are one clever manipulator to have the disputed areas use a different ballot,” she commented as she held up the sample. It read: Name__________ Age_________ City________ County_______ Mark the blank beside your choice: Do you like ice cream? __Yes __No “I told you Philippine history was great! How else did Ferdinand Marcos get to pass a Constitution during martial rule? By duping some countryside villagers into thinking they were answering a poll whether or not they liked rice! What’s cooler than that?” “Being grilled by your conscience for electoral fraud,” she answered curtly. “Not to mention...” The TV blared out a news bulletin. “Hi, I’m Chet Ubetcha, and I’m live from the doorstep of Dimmsdale City Hall, covering the election results. And it seems that the vote is headed to an 84% yes, thanks to voting in some counties where there has been a tie such as Plainsville, Retroville and an unknown town somewhere in-” “Kami no Haha!” Kira exclaimed. “You brought this travesty to our town as well?!” “No-the EC did that...” he replied fearfully. “Meh, Chas and the others can manage it. Besides, they back you up on this one.” “No wonder the question looked so simple when I voted,” Charlotte stated. “If I were still CEO I would have promoted you two steps up the corporate ladder.” And then a brick crashes into the window, landing on the long wooden table. “What the-Hey, take a look at that!” an unknown minister cried out as the others went towards the windows. A protest against the vote was being dispersed by tanks and riot police, and the ruckus was spreading to the very steps of the city hall. “All right folks, we know the way around here-go, go, go!” he shouted as he calmly and smilingly escorted the ministerial line-up into the back door. “This job was going to be more fun than I thought." |
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"To give and not to count the cost... to fight and not to heed the wounds... to toil and not to seek for rest... to labor and ask not for reward..." Join the AGU Fan Fiction Continuation Project here. | |
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| ceig13 | Oct 28 2006, 08:14 PM Post #4 |
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The Right Reverend Cosmopolitan of Bampton Underhoop
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Chapter 3: Inauguration Day The entire country prepared itself for the celebration of Inauguration Day. Streets across the nation were lined with banners of white-orange-white with the white letters of Nickelodia sprawled on the central orange stripe. Post offices pictured new Inauguration Day stamps. Military bases saw soldiers changing uniforms and painting new Nicksplat markings on planes, APCs, tanks, and nuclear missiles (hey, the creators wouldn’t neglect bringing some nukes to ‘alternate America’, wouldn’t they?) Ships now flew the national flag with a blue stripe in the hoist side as the naval ensign. And the list goes on... And so the day arrived. Chuckie woke up from bed, washed himself, changed clothes, and remembered the crazy party his family blew over his stepmother’s victory in the elections (group constituency means that she ran with another person for a seat in the new unicameral parliament, in this case Charlotte) and her subsequent appointment as Deputy PM and Minister of Foreign Affairs and Tourism (the tourism part was predictable). “Wasted from the party eh?” Kimi asked as she groggily struggled to coordinate her movements before collapsing on the floor facefirst. “I have it better I think,” he replied as he lifted his stepsister, who was now ranting incoherent sentences about crushes, tours in Dimmsdale, NNL skits, and some Japanese expressions, and walked her back into her room. “Man, you should sleep for a while longer...” +++++ Two hours later, in an office inside a newly-wished Parliament Hall in a seaside area which has been renamed Nickelopolis... “Yes, thank you for your country’s support Mr. Assad, I’m very grateful for it. And if you’re not busy, can you give me a prescription for my eye problems? Visit? Maybe at the Non-Aligned Movement Convention. I’m also gonna talk with Chavez and Ahmadinejad about oil deals. Oh, and for a moment, lay off the Maronite Catholics in Lebanon, OK? Shukran!” Ceig13 placed the phone into the receiver as he sighed about having to rely on rouge states for diplomatic recognition. Only the US, China, Portugal, Russia, South Africa, Japan and the Holy See (Vatican) seem to be the only sane ones in the block of-no wait, this place ain’t no democratic deal either. The other landline phone next to his desk rang. “Hello Madam President, I see you’re getting used to the direct line now.” “Let’s cut to the chase, ceig13,” Trixie replied on the other end. “How’d you manage to put up a vast city from out of nothing?” “Uhmm, outsourcing?” “That’s good enough for me. I’ll meet you at the review stand later. Toodles!” A relieved ceig13, now handling the position of both PM and Defense Minister, put down the receiver and changed from his faded-white polo shirt into a much more formal coat-with-tails-and-tie outfit, complete with a bowler hat and orange sash. He then pressed a button on the intercom now in his desk, as he often does. “Campbell, send my thanks to Turner. Coming up with a thick proposal for the pixies to act on is surely hard work.” +++++ Six soldiers marched out of Parliament Hall and went to the front of the stately Classical building, where they began to raise the flag of the new country, right in front of the review stand where the President, the Prime Minister, the cabinet, Members of Parliament, and other officials, as well as members of the diplomatic corps and some military guys were all gathered. As soon as the soldiers began to hoist the flag, the people at the review stand, as well as the thousands watching from across the wide street in front of the Hall, stood up and sang to the tune of a band playing Haydn’s tune for the German national anthem: Land of freedom, land of liberty, Nickelodia, dearest land! Where the bonds of true fraternity Build thee up with heart and hand! From all corners to this center May thou hearest this command: “Bloom in all of thine glorious splendor, Nickelodia, dearest land!” “Bloom in all of thine glorious splendor, Nickelodia, dearest land!” After this, and followed by an invocation by some clergy (including a rabbi and the Catholic Archbishop of Nickelopolis, who happened to be his brother), Trixie, wearing her trademark purple turtleneck in a black jacket and wearing a white-orange-white sash, stepped forward to the podium to swear her oath as President, with her father holding the constitution under her hand, and a random cartoon judge witnessing. “I, Trixie Tang, do solemnly affirm to perform all the duties of the President of Nickelodia, serve the common good, and strive to mak this country better than all the others around it.” She then signed the contract, and then headed to the lectern itself with a piece of paper in her hands before realizing there was a teleprompter, at which she ditched the prepared speech. “Mr. Prime Minister, Memebers of the Cabinet, Members of Parliament, General and Flag Officers of the Armed Forces, members of the diplomatic corps, my fellow citzens: I honestly can say I was thrust reluctantly into this job-what other pre-teener, much more the most popular girl that side of Dimmsdale Elementary, would honestly want such a burden on her shoulders? And yet, after thinking about it, my popularity has to be repaid to the people that made it happen, and not just within my school, but with the entire community of this newly-established country. And that is why I, your grateful president, Trixie Tang, wish you and your families a joyful, prosperous and beautiful future and a happy Inauguration Day to you! Good morning and God bless!” Applause emanated from the crowd as she returns to her seat as the announcer signals the start of the military parade, which showcased the best of the country’s new armed forces. Although the middle of the parade saw an Abrams tank fall apart in the middle of the street and fire an accidental salvo into the Defense Ministry at the other end of the road, things went well, with the people impressed at the martial air the whole 15-minute review exuded. The civic parade was impressive in its own right-cities, towns, government agencies and organizations tried to outdo each other in terms of float presentation, although the Freemasons and the Knights of Columbus bashing each other in their respective floats was just too much. Unfortunately, the conservative direction of the new administration meant that no alternative lifestyle floats or feminist carrozas appeared-after all, “this wasn’t Middleton,” as ceig13 quipped at a previous press conference. And finally came the recessional-the band struck up the tune of The Radetzky March, much to the chagrin of the Never-Meant-for-Primetime-Players, a.k.a. the NNL cast, due to the bad memories it conjured up for them. “Oh man, it’s that bugle call from Comedy Camp!” groaned Tommy as his family left for a much quieter swearing-in ceremony inside Parliament Hall. +++++ A buffet table was laid out at the Tang Manor gardens. People in varied national and evening outfits were socializing over rather an exquisite fare of French, Filipino, Chinese and Italian dishes. Ushers were guiding new arrivals in the patio while a jazz ensemble was playing varied bossa nova pieces. “MOM!!! PHIL’S ELBOWING ME OUT OF THE CAKE LINE!!!” Lil yelped distraughtly as she tried to fight past her brother to the plates. “Not now Lil, I have problems of my own,” Betty, who was holding a bown envelope, replied as she headed towards the PM’s table, where he was negotiating a defense agreement with the Fox Defense Secretary. “Darn it, I’ll just have to settle this myself-Phil, the Yu-Gotta-Go voice lady!” “Where?” Phil replied as Lil overtook him. “Oh great, now she’s gone-Lil, I’m gonna ask around!” And then he left a fraternal twin smiling bewildered at the gullibility of somebody who shares her genetic material. As for Betty, the envelope she was holding landed on ceig13’s lap. It was prompltly opened to reveal the fleet list for the Nickelodian Navy, as well as maps of bases and other confidential information. Defense Secretary Smith took a careful look at the maps and some of the papers within the fleet list, and then took out a notebook to list some details down before ceig13 stopped him. “Not so fast, Stan,” he quipped. “You’re gonna have to rely on your visual memory for this one. Besides, it may be just a military exercise our two countries are gonna be having, but if we ever go to war...” “Oh, haha, you think this is a form of espionage?” the erstwhile American-nationalist-CIA-agent-turned-Fox-patriot-defense-secretary slyly replied. “I have to warn you though, I have a sharp, photographic memory!” “Sure you do. You can’t even remember the date of your wedding anniversary.” “So do you!” At this point, both defense chiefs look at each other and laugh. Ceig13 wasn’t even married, and thanks to involuntary abstinence and celibacy, never will. “High five there, bruthah!” Ceig13 said as they both slapped hands, and then turned serious. “But just in case, what happens if indeed we go to war? “I’m sure your foreign minister will handle that,” Smith replied, sipping a Chardonnay in the process. “But in any case, things won’t go that far-we’ll trump your a** in no time!” Both laughed again before they discussed the military exercises coming in 3 months as the party went on around them. +++++ It was around two in the morning when the party ended. A red car parked in front of an austere Mission Revival house, and out of it came the Pickleses carrying a wasted Prime Minister. “Mom, why did we have to take him in for the night?” Tommy asked as he and Dil carried each leg into the door. “The Turners have their own problems,” Didi replied. “Besides, your closet is the nearest portal to his house in the other dimension, and he has to work tomorrow.” “Cool! We have a guest from another dimension!” Dil sarcastically interjected as they heaved him into the door. “Whatever it is he’s eating, he’d better cut down on it.” |
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| ceig13 | Jan 1 2007, 07:42 PM Post #5 |
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The Right Reverend Cosmopolitan of Bampton Underhoop
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Chapter 3.5: Nickelodiana (Or Some Basic Facts) As compiled by the Bureau of Statistics Nomenclature Formal name: Independent State of Nickelodia (English), Estado Independiente de Niquelodia (Spanish) Also known as: ISN, Nickelodia, Nick, “That dump” Capital:Nickelopolis Geography Land Area: 426,000 sq. Km Highest point: Klasky Peak (6441 m.) Lowest point: Fissure Valley (13m below sea level) General terrain: Mountainous north, with forested plains to the east and deserts to the south Territorial disputes with: MTV Networks for ownership of studio entrances Demographics Population (latest census):13,550,000 Largest Cities:New Manhattan (4,640,000), Dimmsdale (2,560,000), Nickelopolis (2,124,000), Amity Park (835,000), Tremorton (620,000) (all including suburbs) Languages: English (official; 64% but universally understood) Spanish (official, 35% but universally understood), bilingual majority Religions: Roman Catholic (44%), Baptist (40%), Orthodox Jewish (16%), Episcopalian (12%), with Byzantine Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Muslim, Methodist and Latter-Day Saint minorities Official Policy towards religion: tolerant; no state religion Government Form: constitutional parliamentary democratic republic Head of state: President Trixie Tang (note: though the Constitution gives the president executive power, such power is normally delegated to the Cabinet and Prime Minister) Head of government: Prime Minister Ceig13 (NADA-Nickelopolis) Legislature: unicameral Parliament made up of 160 seats, 120 single-seat & 40 group-seat constituencies Judiciary: Supreme Court, with Court of Appeals, Superior Courts, County Courts and District Courts Territorial divisions: 14 counties, each with Prefect and County Council Organizations country is currently member of: UN, League of Animated Nations, Orchid Bay Pact (defense treaty) Economy GDP per capita: $14,100 GNP per capita: $15,700 Natural Resources: Hardwood, lumber, wheat, barley, corn, tungsten, copper, platinum, aluminum, petroleum Main exports: petroleum, trading cards, television sets, toothpaste, television programs, vegetables, environment-frendly cars, beverages, textiles Economic situation: Advanced & diversified; some sectors still underdeveloped due to faulty infrastructure, unemployment still rampant Unemployment: 16% Percentage of people below poverty line: 18% Transportation and Communications Road Network: 2, 085,000 km total Rail Network: 1, 6500, 080 km total Airports: 6 international, 13 minor, 13 airfields Seaports: 4 Transport issues: Congestion of roads in some cities, lack of sufficient highways, inefficient rail coverage Telephone ownership: 1 person per 235 Computer ownership: 1 per 3000 Radio ownership: 1 per 2400 Televison ownership: 1 per 6000 Internet access: 1 per 9400 Television Stations: 210, with 18 cable networks Freedom of the press: ranked 64 out of 130 countries Communications and media issues: self-censorship of the press, arrests of jounalists National Defense Military: Army, Navy (includes Marine Corps), Air Force, National Police Bureau (regulates local forces and Border Patrol), Coast Guard, Highway Police Military population: 290,000 overall Expenditure: $6,290,140,000 per annum (recent index; 8% of GDP) Military bases: 19 army, 6 navy, 14 air force, 3 combined-forces Military issues: state-of-the art equipment available, morale high; Problems include relatively low pay, haphazard command structures National Symbols Flag: Orange horizontal stripe with word Nickelodia in the middle of white field Coat-of-arms: Vertical shield without inscription on shield encased by a semicircular laurel wreath, flanked by 2 white mountain goat supporters and with scroll bearing words Unitas et Libertas Hodie et Semper below |
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7:17 PM Jul 10