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The MLB Rules of Dating
Topic Started: Jan 12 2007, 03:22 PM (143 Views)
Juachoerin
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The rules of dating are complicated and sometimes misunderstood. As a service to all teen/young adult girls, I thought I'd publish this concise summary of the rules, hoping that it may clear up any misconceptions or explain things you've always wondered about. The official rules are copyrighted by Major League Baseball, of course, but I'm sure they won't mind.

When you've had a boyfriend for four months, he can be drafted by another girl, unless you put him on your 40-boy roster. Each boy on your roster gets three options. Whenever he wants to play "in the majors" (i.e. in your bed) and you say no, he's used up one of his options.

Of course, if having sex with 40 boys every day takes up too much of your time, you might want to consider making your roster a little smaller. (The "one-boy roster" is especially popular.)

If a boy has used all of his three options and you want to say no again, you have to assign him outright to the minor leagues; that is, you tell him outright "I'll continue dating you, but no more sex!"

But an outright assignment means taking him off your roster. So before you can do it, you have to put him on waivers. That means if there's a girl who wants to "play him in the majors," she can claim him and put him on her roster. (She pays you the $20 waiver price.) If nobody claims him, then he's cleared waivers and you can tell him outright.

But you can't do that with a boy who has three months of major league service, that is, three months in your bed. In that case you have to either release him (meaning his wee-wee is up for grabs) or else trade him to another girl for a boy you want.

But the trade deadline is 1:30 pm. If it's past the deadline, you either have to ask waivers and anyone can take him for $20, or else you have to sleep with him for one more night and trade him the next day.

The draft is held each morning when you're assembling in the schoolyard. The girl with the most sexually inept boys on her current roster gets the first draft pick. A girl who drafts a boy from you pays you the $50 draft price. Then, if she doesn't keep him "in the majors" for at least one month, you get him back.

At morning recess you tell which boys you're optioning that day; in the cafeteria at lunch, you do your last-minute trading before the deadline. You announce your waiver requests at the afternoon recess, and the claims are submitted and settled after school. In the early evening you meet at the snack shop to trade the boys who cleared waivers; later that night you go on the Telemov Chatline to make your outright assignments.

And don't forget .... a "10-and-5" boy (one who has 10 months service and 5 inches) can refuse to accept a trade or a waiver claim. That means either he stays in your "majors" or you lose him. Period.

(Or, worse yet, you lose him and then NO period.)
[size=4]Yo, dude! I so pledge major allegiance to the wicked awesome flag of the Way Total States of America. And I'm like, um, totally tight with the mondo rad, um, republic that it so stands for, which majorly rocks and is like, um, way totally the bomb.[/size][size=7]--MILCAX on yunkulcher.com[/size]
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