Masturbation, Morality, and the doom of Man.

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Masturbation, Morality, and the doom of Man.
Topic Started: Feb 6 2006, 05:55 PM (950 Views)
Some Polar Bears	Feb 6 2006, 05:55 PM Post #1
Chief of Staff Posts: 6,143 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: January 9, 2006	So, here's the deal. God doesn't want you to masturbate as it's dirty, sinful business. If you need more to refer off of, look here. However, there has been a discovery of chocolate being equated to sex for some women. Sure, we all know it's not that good, but there has certainly been enough written on the subject to make some conclusions. (Not for me personally, as I'm a man.) In any case, the availability of this for only women at this point is quite perplexing. Does God want men to go to Hell more than women? Why hasn't there been a discovery of something that's as good as the male orgasm? When men discover what that thing is, what do you figure it could have been all along? All of these questions are important, but also vital for the continuance of our society. Perhaps you can answer one of them, can you?



pianogirl2422	Feb 6 2006, 05:59 PM Post #2
Sergeant Major Gold Posts: 951 Group: Supermoderators Member #88 Joined: January 29, 2006	Okay, two points. 1. My God is different from whatever God says that. Of course, mine's different that like all known Gods that I've heard of, but that's off the point. 2. Maybe it's not that the chocolate is that good......
	Zim: "WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMED!" Gir: "YAY!" Zim: "No Gir, that's a bad thing" ~pause~ Gir: "YAY!"


+ Cipolla	Feb 6 2006, 06:18 PM Post #3
Sergeant Gold Posts: 552 Group: Special Member #108 Joined: February 5, 2006	God sounds like a prick



pianogirl2422	Feb 6 2006, 09:10 PM Post #4
Sergeant Major Gold Posts: 951 Group: Supermoderators Member #88 Joined: January 29, 2006	Only because we depict God that way....
	Zim: "WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMED!" Gir: "YAY!" Zim: "No Gir, that's a bad thing" ~pause~ Gir: "YAY!"


Cyrus The Virus	Feb 7 2006, 07:11 PM Post #5
Cyrus.EXE Posts: 134 Group: Members Member #124 Joined: February 6, 2006	"See you in hell, wanker" :lol:



Brandon	Feb 20 2006, 05:07 AM Post #6
2nd Lieutenant Gold Posts: 3,105 Group: Moderators Member #107 Joined: February 5, 2006	I hope this thread was sarcastic.



jeremyveggie	Feb 21 2006, 06:39 PM Post #7
Private Posts: 12 Group: Members Member #297 Joined: February 20, 2006	I have a strange suspicison that this person is serious. I guess I'm doomed because I masturbate. Satan is going to burn my pecker off. Ha, ha.



+ scoobywoohoo	Feb 21 2006, 08:56 PM Post #8
FOR PRESIDENT Posts: 747 Group: Special Member #129 Joined: February 7, 2006	i like 2 masterbate
	'I get more ASS then a toliet seat'


+ HELL	Mar 20 2006, 06:55 AM Post #9
The God of Cookery Posts: 1,340 Group: Special Member #192 Joined: February 16, 2006	:lolcolor:



The Non-Person	Mar 21 2006, 12:36 PM Post #10
Recruit Posts: 0 Group: Members Member #500 Joined: March 19, 2006	there's probably a very good reason for it.



AuhsojSivart	Mar 23 2006, 08:20 PM Post #11
Corporal Silver Posts: 190 Group: Members Member #491 Joined: March 18, 2006	People, people, people... If we are doomed every time we do something immoral, then GUESS WHAT? we're all doomed. There's a thing called grace in the Bible that people want to overlook so that they can say that the Bible is just a big rulebook that if you don't follow you're going to hell. Grace is forgiveness. We all do bad things. If masturbation is bad, then it's just as bad as murder. However, a murderer is just as forgiven as a mastubater.



coldsectionmodule	Mar 25 2006, 09:52 PM Post #12
Corporal Silver Posts: 156 Group: Members Member #518 Joined: March 19, 2006	You have to be very careful masturbating......
	Quote: What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indespensible to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction. It's the same way a drug can be something good and something bad.


THE PUNISHER	Mar 30 2006, 01:18 PM Post #13
Sergeant Gold Posts: 561 Group: Members Member #12 Joined: January 10, 2006



whatever	Apr 11 2006, 01:24 PM Post #14
Private Posts: 21 Group: Members Member #583 Joined: April 6, 2006	we're ALL going to hell. every last one of us.... because someone said that god didnt like us to jerk off. if i remember correcly this was part of the crusades to force ppl into converting into cristianity. bc in the other religions sex was much more liberal. and so to distance christianity from those religions this was banned. hmmm yes.... if i got a kitten for every time i....



AuhsojSivart	Apr 11 2006, 02:38 PM Post #15
Corporal Silver Posts: 190 Group: Members Member #491 Joined: March 18, 2006	Hmm... The Crusades (NOT THAT I AM SAYING THEY WERE A GOOD THING) were against the Muslims, predominantly. Islam is as strong in its statements about sexuality as Christianity. I'm pretty sure that the soldiers who were told by the Catholic church to go kill Muslims or they would go to hell (sounds like the opposite these days, in extreme cases) did not take the time to say: "Hey, you! Get your hand out of your pants and convert to Christianity!".


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