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| Tweet Topic Started: Tuesday Oct 7 2008, 01:43 PM (2,165 Views) | |
| ASTROTRAIN | Tuesday Apr 28 2009, 03:21 PM Post #121 |
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Figment of Your Imagination
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A DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) officer stops at a farm , and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your place for illegally grown drugs.' The old farmer says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?' The old guy nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the farmer's prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... 'Your badge...Show him your badge ! |
[RPGData:350|1|25|25|3|3|5|4|None|None|Warrior|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|0|None|None] -Adapt or Die- | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Tuesday Apr 28 2009, 03:28 PM Post #122 |
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OSG Ambassador of Awesome
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From: Jeff Peters Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Membership Renewal Dear David This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon. All the best, Jeff Peters From: David Thorne Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Membership Renewal Dear Jeff, Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Hello David How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags. Cheers, Jeff From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff Do I get free shipping with that? Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months. From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Hello David Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead. Cheers, Jeff From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Go fuck yourself. From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Ok. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again? From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due The middle one. |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| ASTROTRAIN | Friday May 1 2009, 10:13 AM Post #123 |
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Figment of Your Imagination
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Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds every day' Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take?' I asked. They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he said 'Worked for your bum, didn't it?' |
[RPGData:350|1|25|25|3|3|5|4|None|None|Warrior|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|0|None|None] -Adapt or Die- | |
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| ASTROTRAIN | Friday May 1 2009, 02:24 PM Post #124 |
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Figment of Your Imagination
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It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead. |
[RPGData:350|1|25|25|3|3|5|4|None|None|Warrior|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|0|None|None] -Adapt or Die- | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Saturday May 23 2009, 11:36 AM Post #125 |
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OSG Ambassador of Awesome
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Best fart practice: Let a silent one go, then loudly say "Do you smell something burning?" Everyone will stop what they're doing and deeply inhale. |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Monday May 25 2009, 04:11 PM Post #126 |
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A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?" The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead." Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too." |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| Lonely Wolf | Monday May 25 2009, 04:26 PM Post #127 |
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Am glad Necris is back
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Infiltraitor that gym one was gold. |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Monday May 25 2009, 04:45 PM Post #128 |
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OSG Ambassador of Awesome
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![]() From: David Thorne Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am To: Matthew Smythe Subject: R.S.V.P. Dear Matthew, Thankyou for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realise you probably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there? Regards, David. From: Matthew Smythe Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: R.S.V.P. Hi David Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop past for a beer if you like. Cheers Matthew From: David Thorne Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm To: Matthew Smythe Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Thanks Matthew, Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put a stop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as I am. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided? Regards, David. From: Matthew Smythe Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Hi David As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate. Cheers Matthew From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm To: Matthew Smythe Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Dear Matthew, I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I have to jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to store some of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scatter cushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I have told Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I were going to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along after that if she can get a lift with friends. Regards, David. From: Matthew Smythe Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Wtf? Nobody can come to the houswarming party it is just for friends and family. I dont even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture? Are you the guy in apartment 1? From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm To: Matthew Smythe Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Hi Matthew, I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn't everybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every item in my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember that episode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Betty much more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones on their back and shoulders that creep me out the most. Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed it and feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nik Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of 'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process of redesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as print cartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around $120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight. Regards, David. From: Matthew Smythe Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. What the fuck are yout alking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. noone else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I dont need and didnt ask you to do! look I am sorry but i am heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1? From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am To: Matthew Smythe Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. Hello Matthew, I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I to judge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I can hear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a generic fancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night. It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it. Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering, seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't own cars. Regards, David. From: Matthew Smythe Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P. WTF? No you cant borrow my car and there is no fucking 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the fuck is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there is no fucking fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I dont want to be rude but jesus fucking christ man. From: David Thorne Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am To: Matthew Smythe Subject: Party Hello Matthew, I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that we are really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's work function was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, I have arranged a Piņata. Regards, David. |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| King Hiss | Thursday May 28 2009, 04:00 PM Post #129 |
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A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?' 'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.' 'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'' 'I don't remember much after the fight started'!! |
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| King Hiss | Thursday May 28 2009, 04:14 PM Post #130 |
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Pretty sure a few of these have been posted already... Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says ' Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister' __________________________________ My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else. She said she wanted to come back as a pig. I said, 'You're not fucking listening' _____________________________________________ Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. _______________________________________________ I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and fucks off. __________________________________________________ Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice. Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen. ___________________________________________________ A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque. ____________________________________________________ Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'. She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'. He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing' |
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| NecrisTEWQ | Friday Jun 19 2009, 10:16 AM Post #131 |
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Avatar Rule Bender
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-------Original Message------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mummy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul** **After a brief pause** **Daddy says** **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul** **'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,** **Right now.'** Brief Pause **'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.** **Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs** **And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy** **That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway..'** **'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'** **A few minutes later** **The little girl comes back to the phone.** **'I did it, Daddy.'** **'And what happened, honey?' ** 'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.** **Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser** **And now she isn't moving at all!'** **'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'** **'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.** **He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window** **And into the swimming pool.** **But I guess he didn't know that you took the water out last week to clean it.** **He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'** *****Long Pause***** *****Longer Pause***** *****Even Longer Pause***** **Then Daddy says,** **Swimming pool? ...........** **Is this Number 03-4865731?'* **No, I think you have the wrong number....... |
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| NecrisTEWQ | Friday Jul 10 2009, 09:19 PM Post #132 |
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Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s*** |
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DISCLAIMER:Don't like what i say? Suck it up Princess | |
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| King Hiss | Tuesday Aug 25 2009, 05:57 PM Post #133 |
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After having a very pleasant 69 with his girlfriend, George remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid the Dentist would notice the smell of fanny on his breath, so he brushed his teeth, used dental floss, and also used a whole bottle of Listerine. As he arrived at the Dentist he also ate a whole packet of extra strong mints. His turn came up and the Dentist told him to take a seat in the chair. Feeling confident and relaxed he opened his mouth wide. The Dentist got close and asked " So, you had a 69 before you came here eh?" Brian exasperated asked " How did you know? Does my breath still smell like fanny?" The Dentist replied " No...you have a skidmark on your forehead.......... |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Friday Aug 28 2009, 11:18 AM Post #134 |
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A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.' The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.' |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Thursday Sep 24 2009, 11:56 AM Post #135 |
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i found this post on one of the forums i frequent, i found it amusing
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![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Sunday Oct 4 2009, 09:23 PM Post #136 |
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Dear Penthouse, I can't believe what happened to me the other night. I was in a night club and had to go to the toilet. After relieving myself in one of the stalls I noticed some moaning coming from a couple of stalls down. When I came out I had a closer look around and realised there was no urinal. In the dark of the club I had accidentally gone into the ladies room! Then I put another two and two together and realised the moaning was coming from two women getting busy in one of the stalls! Talk about a dream come true. I thought to myself, 'Well now's your chance, the chances of this happening again are bugger all so you better just go for it'. I got down low on the floor in the stall beside them and when they were obviously really going for it I quickly reached in and snatched one of their handbags and ran like fuck out the door. I scored $85 bucks, some lip gloss and one of those reward cards from Gloria Jeans coffee that was completely filled in! Talk about a good night. Your last edition was awesome, loved the photos of that Ferarri, more of that please. TheInfiltraitor |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| NecrisTEWQ | Sunday Oct 4 2009, 09:52 PM Post #137 |
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lol |
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DISCLAIMER:Don't like what i say? Suck it up Princess | |
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| TheInfiltraitor | Sunday Jan 17 2010, 10:50 PM Post #138 |
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OSG Ambassador of Awesome
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Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other: 'You man the guns, i'll drive' |
![]() In the kegs: Brownish Bomber - Weizen - Kolsch - Designated Drinker - Balding Sultan Bottles:Awaiting Dark - Balding Sultan - Designated Drinker - Brownish Bomber - Mead In the fermenter:Crab Juice Planned:Amber Ale - Barley Wine - Saison - Berlinner Weiss The Berkshire Hunt Brewing Co. | |
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| JAMSIN | Friday Jan 22 2010, 04:08 PM Post #139 |
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Hardcore Whore
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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth-floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up, Abdul, won't it start?" |
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| JAMSIN | Monday Feb 1 2010, 07:15 PM Post #140 |
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Hardcore Whore
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Imagine these with a Sanchez/Mexican accent... Mexican Words Of The Day 1. *Cheese* The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly. 2. *Mushroom* When all my family get in the car There's not mushroom. 3.. *Shoulder* My fren wants 2 become a citizen, But che didn't know how to read, So I, shoulder. 4. *Herpes* Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece Then che got herpes. 5. *Rectum* I had 2 cars But my wife rectum! 6. *Wheelchair* We only have one enchilada left But don't worry wheelchair 7. *Chicken* *wing* My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.. 8. *Body wash* I want to go to the club But no body wash my kids. |
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