omg lol srs
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| One; Unfinished. :( | |
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| Topic Started: 12 Jun 2008, 05:40 PM (320 Views) | |
| The Rekojian One Called Joker. | 12 Jun 2008, 05:40 PM Post #1 |
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I posted three or so teasers for a comic called "One" a while back. I did around 9 or so pages, spread them through a few friends, one of them, a friend at the time, Combine_dumb. He and another person leaked the comic at one point, and after that, I simply couldn't get the main map working. It was working fine until a Gmod update, which for some reason always crashed the map. I eventually lost inspiration due to frustration, a lot of it already being spoiled, etc, etc. And then, of course, my computer died, and I ended up losing it forever. Or did I? Thanks to Happydevil, who kept what I had sent him on his hard drive, I still have the comic. Knowing I'll never finish it, I've decided to release it. However, if you there when it was spoiled, there's nothing new for you.          I had three more pages done, but those are lost on my old computer's dead hard drive. Plot continuation: "One" takes down SWAT team, non-lethally. Sleeper hold, disabling shot, all in the darkness, before the SWAT captain notices him disabling one SWAT member. Not killing. He questions him about it, One spills his entire story. SWAT guy believes him, claiming, "I have a bullshit sensor the size of a prostate" (points to who knows where I stole that from) One and SWAT captain go their own ways, both of them know that they simply can't capture him. One fakes his death, leaping out of a window, getting the SWAT captain to fire his gun beside him, as if he had been shot. Mob watchman notices, phones up his boss, says it's done, and to 'kill the bitch more discreetly.' (This was always a plot loophole, why don't they just kill her right away? I tried to make it that they could, but didn't, because it was a high-risk to tipping the cops of their position. They were afraid of One. If he was dead, they thought they had time, and they could take their time, make her death look like an accident, etc. ANYWAYS, One chokes out the mob watchman, takes his phone, finds the location, just as a SWAT chopper lands on the roof. He climbs up the side of the building, fire escape/pole, sees the chopper leaving, sneaks by the team, and hops onto the chopper's landing rail or whatever. He pulls himself up, opens the door, says, "Hi" to the chopper pilot, tosses him off (from of course, a non-lethal height to the fall). He takes the chopper, and flies to the location. He crashes the chopper into a guard tower, bailing just before, and hitting the water beneath him. He swims to land, sneaks his way on, finds the guy in page 3, in the middle of a dialog with his wife. Of course, what does he do? One goes in there, and shoots the one guard closeby, and places his pistol against the back of the mob guy's head. He interrogates him. Turns out, he was in the army with "One". Same division, actually. Remember that friendly fire accident? It was more an incident. Our mob guy, (Named Derrick), planted an explosive there. It was his route, he was going to save people when it went off, and he was going to be a hero. Like his father was before him, and his grandfather before that. He was going to get medals and save people, instead of being stuck on a boring, routine guard route. Instead of him being on that though, he was stuck cleaning the toilets, and "One" got all of the glory. He blamed One for everything, and was soon tossed out of the military. When he came back, he was a broken man. He lived for glory, and had been thrown out dishonorably. He started building a life based on crime, gave up on all he believed in, and created this mob. He was looking for revenge. As soon as all of this is weaseled out of him, by One, One goes to pull the trigger... and the top ranked Marksman in his division, makes a critical error. Forgetting to check the clip. He was out of ammo, a fist-fight ensues. They take the fight, outside, to a bridge across a small river. Derrick beats down the exhausted "One", and is about to kill him, taking a backup pistol out of his ankle-hoster. He aims for his head... bang. Derrick, falls dead. One and Stephanie embrace, as a chopper comes in from the distance, it zooms in on the SWAT captain, who had leaned in, and shot Derrick with a sniper rifle. One and Stephanie, hug, silently crying. END. (If you're wondering why I kept calling him "One", I can't remember if I named him Garrett, or John Arcot... :S) |
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| Killz2much | 12 Jun 2008, 05:41 PM Post #2 |
Looks like that doctor... got a taste of his own medicine. YEAAAAAAA
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Looks interesting, I'll read it later though. I have to go do something. |
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| Nemi | 12 Jun 2008, 05:49 PM Post #3 |
She lives in a fairy tale somewhere too far for us to find...
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I'll be honest here Joker. Editing and posing was great. Though the story? I felt like you pushed it too hard. Like you were trying to hard to get what you wanted. So to me it came out as stale dialogue. I understand you were trying to build a character and all. But it could've been done in a much longer fashion. Not all piled onto us at once. But again, in the technical aspect, it was great. Then writing aspect? Not so good. |
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| The Rekojian One Called Joker. | 12 Jun 2008, 05:52 PM Post #4 |
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You see, this was all supposed to be the intro, the buildup. It was heavy on dialogue, because it had to set the scene. After this, it was supposed to relax into a more visual comic. But, you know, the aforementioned problems got in the way. |
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| Looshkin | 12 Jun 2008, 06:51 PM Post #5 |
Axe wielding maniac, with a touch of Celtic class.
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A real shame that this will never continue, looks like it would have been pure win. |
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| Dtmech | 13 Jun 2008, 04:01 AM Post #6 |
YOU THINK , YOUR TOUGH
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Sweet. Very awesome. Yeah it's sad it won't get finished. |
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| ErikKiller | 15 Jun 2008, 02:35 PM Post #7 |
Sleekier or vomiter
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Jesus CHRIST! LONG wall of text but the STYLE! OH THE STYLE was GOOD! |
 
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| Ravnik | 19 Jun 2008, 08:55 AM Post #8 |
Reigning Random Avery
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That story would have been so much better if a comic was plonked with it. Just, damn. That's awesome |
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12:29 AM Nov 29
