Full Moon chap. 1

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Full Moon chap. 1; New Moon in Edward's POV
Topic Started: Sep 25 2009, 02:53 PM (80 Views)
peace1089	Sep 25 2009, 02:53 PM Post #1
Newbie Posts: 10 Group: Members Member #669 Joined: September 11, 2009	Please leave me a rating on a scale of 1-10!!! Thnx! Lies and Heartache Oh, how I hated myself. I hated myself from the moment those foul, untrue words; "Bella, I don't want you to come with me," came out of my mouth. I watched the words sink into only the first few layers. I knew she couldn't believe this. This was going to take a while. she tested the words, coming out in a tone of confusion, "You... don't... want me?" "No," I had said. The words took it's toll on her. She realized what I meant and I prepared for the denial coming. I sighed slightly, waiting for her to find her voice, staring into her eyes. Couldn't she tell that I was lying? "Well that changes things," she finally spoke, in a voice that was calm but I, and only I could hear the underlying tone of depression and wavering slightly. I was surprised, and sad, that she believed me so quickly. How could she believe, after all that I've said, that I didn't love her and need her? I had to tell her someway that I still loved her. "Of course I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. I'm... tired of pretending I'm something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." I saw her search my face and eyes for some sort of contradiction to my words, but I was a good liar. Maybe too good. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." Part of me, the selfish monster, wanted to tell her how much I really loved her and needed her. She was my life, everything I knew. When I left her, I knew that I would never be able to live as a whole, I would leave half of me with her. "Don't." she whispered. the emotion in the single word nearly broke my resolution and burned. It burned worse than the most acidic thing on the Earth. I felt like this would kill me to do this to her. "Don't do this," she continued. Oh, Bella, if only you knew how much this hurt me too. But I had to end this now, so she couldn't ever be hurt again. I struggled to keep my mask as I said, "You're not good for me, Bella," Did she not her how my voice shook and her name come out in a loving caress? I nearly screamed when I saw the face she made after those words came out of her mouth. This was worse than any pain I'd ever felt, even worse than being changed. She whispered, her voice still a calm, numb voice, "If... that's what you want." I nodded, not able to speak, knowing my resolve would crumble and my voice break if I replied. I sucked it up for a second to make sure she would be safe. "I would like to ask one favor though." "Anything," she whispered devoutly I could feel my mask slip the teeniest little bit when I told her, "Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I was losing my grip on light and detachment "Do you understand what I'm saying?" she nodded quickly. My conscience eased a very little bit and my mask reattached, perfect coverup. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course," and me, obviously, "He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him." she nodded again, and I could see awareness filling the place where the calm was. "I will," I faked a smile, for good effect. "And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore interference form me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I could see the emotions flicker through her eyes. Defiance, depression, and a panic attack on it's way. I had to end this quickly, before I caused anymore damage to either of us. I saw her shake. It nearly killed me, it was like torture to watch this. To see her hurt like this, was torture of the worst kind. "Don't worry- you're human your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind," too bad I'll never heal, never change, never get over this... heartbreak. It seems melodramatic, but I wouldn't be me without her. I couldn't live life away form her. She was everything to me. Losing her is like... losing myself, except a whole lot more painful. She seemed to read my mind, "And your memories?" she choked out. It seemed as if this would kill us both. "Well, I won't forget. But my kind... we're very easily distracted," yeah right. I sounded phoney even to myself. How could she not catch it? "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again," as long as Alice stuck to her word, and I could stick to mine... She's so observant... she mouthed, "Alice isn't coming back." "No they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye," If only she knew... "Alice is gone?" she asked with a pleading tone, her whole frame shook, dangerously close to falling. "She wanted to say goodbye," I said, trying desperatly to comfort her at least a little bit, "But I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you," I saw a moment of intuition flash through her eyes, marred only by the depression she was sinking into, the understandment she didn't want. I had to end it now, while I still had my will. "Goodbye, Bella," my words caressing her name for the last time. "Wait!" she pleaded, reaching for me. It took all of my will to take her wrists and not hug her to me. I pinned them to her side and kissed her forehead. "Take care of yourself," I pleaded, desperate to get the message through. I heard the plead and heard the pain and sadness in my own voice. How could she not hear it? I forced myself to run from her. I ran to her home, hoping to finish before she stumbled into it. I climbed the stairs to her bedroom. I took the CD with the song I wrote, just about her, just for her; I took the photos she took of me and, us together. I saw that it was folded in half so that I was the only person showing. I was just a tiny bit curious. I unfolded it and there was a beauty standing beside me it that picture. How could she not see? She was so beautiful, it filled my heart with longing for her, and at last, I couldn't take it anymore. I had a whim. Even though I promised I would leave no reminders, I had a strange urge to put these with her, though in a place she could never find them. I decided against on top of her dresser and underneath her mattress. Where could I put them?! My head hung, sighing in defeat, but then I saw it! The perfect place to hide them. Underneath her floorboards. The chances of her finding them were one in a trillion. I lifted a board gently, trying not to break it, but still in a hurry, knowing she would be back any second now. I pounded the board back into place and ran down the stairs. I took my car, hoping she wouldn't hear me leaving, and drove down the road that would take me out of town. Haha. LA hear I come, I thought grimly. Everyone's thoughts were in a mess when I walked in the door. Esme was sad that I was sad, Carlisle was trying to think of a way to help, and even Emmett was pondering the look on my face. He decided that it looked more pained than he had ever seen anyone, anywhere, any time. Ouch. I saw my face in his eyes, and I realized I looked better than I felt. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Jasper tried to help, but no cigar. I felt him trying. Hard. But I didn't feel anything. Alice came over to him and whispered. "It won't work, Jazz. He's too... depressed." He gave up and rubbed his forehead. He thought, Wow, that's the first time I've had a headache in a LONG time. I laughed without a trace of humor and said, yeah, well you probably haven't dealt with a vampire this depressed." my voice sounded strange. Flat, somehow, yet, hard. It was hard to describe. Esme's face fell further. Everyone noticed the change. I used to be happier with Bella. Without her, after I had a sample, it was worse than before we met. I tried to look back on the happy times, but that was much too painful. A plan was forming in my head. Alice asked, "You're going to track down Victoria?" I nodded. The whole family looked aghast. They all thought I was trying to sign a warrent for my own death. Carlisle recovered quickly and said, "I don't like the idea, but if you must, we put the packing things upstairs. I nodded again, not trusting my voice. I ran up the flight of stairs and found the room in Carlisle's head easily. I opened the door and yanked some clothes down from the hangers in the closet, grabbed a large backpack, my prop of course, and put on some tennis shoes. I ran back down the stairs, to say goodbye. I choked up. Two goodbyes in one day. Esme saw the dry sobs coming and came to comfort me. I was never one for tears, but this was another thing entirely. Emmett didn't even find this amusing. Everyone surrounded Esme and I to give my a group hug. This would be hard all around. They all missed her too. Even Rosalie. Rosalie believed that Bella made her look even better and she missed the way Bella perked my spirits up. My sobs ceased and I said goodbye to hem. I ran from the door, hoping I wouldn't start crying again until I was far away from everyone. I knew where to start looking for her trail, but it would be... unpleasant to say the least to say the least. Chapter 2: Questions and Tracking I knew I had to start out in Arizona, but even the thought seemed... painful. Anything that reminded me of her... made me crumble and collapse. It made me fall apart at the seams. I tried to not think about the reason I was tracking Victoria, but to focus on the tracking part. During my visit to Arizona, I knew I would have to be a night owl, an original vampire. Ohhh... look at me... I'm Dracula. Haha. Halloween was fast approaching and I knew that I would still be tracking in Phoenix come Halloween night, so I bought a pair of vampire fangs to blend in better. Haha. The last thing I felt like doing was laughing, but I had to admit, it was pretty ironic. I bet Alice saw this and was chuckling to herself right now. On Halloween, I went outside to greet the children shouting and the sunset turning into a beautiful lilac. Ouch. That was her favorite color. I nearly fell apart but I stood my ground, knowing that I had work to do. I had a picture of Victoria and a story all plotted. I went up to the first pair of parents that I saw and asked, "Excuse me, have you seen this lady anywhere? She's my wife and I can't find her anywhere. She and our son, Tommy went to go trick-or-treating a little earlier." I nearly winced on the word wife, but I was a good liar. Too good. "No, I'm sorr- wait I saw her about a week ago, she was at the airport, scheduled to leave to Dallas Ft. Worth," the man said "Yes, she took a trip to visit her sister a week ago. Well, thank you for your time," I said, walking away. This was the closest to happy I'd been since... well, at least I knew where she headed. I spat the halfway melted plastic fangs out into the garbage at the hotel I was staying at. I packed my things and took the rental car to the airport. I looked at a flight to Dallas Ft. Worth. It wasn't for another 3 hours, but it was the soonest with seats available. I took my seat in the terminal after purchasing the ticket, and waited. I didn't like free time because it gave me time to think. Too much thinking can be very bad for me. I pondered clinically on what she would be doing right now. I pictured her smiling, hanging out with... Mike Newton... the wall of fury punched me and made a hole in me. Ouch. Memories brought back always burned. I wondered if she had forgotten about me. That thought stung a bit. I love her, and the fact that she might be over me always stung. I couldn't think about these things anymore, so I pulled out the one picture I did keep. I kept the one of us, side by side, the angel smiling a fake smile that I saw right through. Ouch. Was my coldness toward her been that transparent? That hurt a bit. I made her suffer more than she needed too. I wondered how sick I was, to be such a masochist. Suddenly, I was aware of the person beside me. He was looking over my shoulder at the picture. When I caught him staring, he blushed and looked away. He finally turned toward me and asked, "Is that your sister? You don't look alike, but you're both... good looking..." He trailed off, blushing again. "Actually, no. She was my girlfriend," I hated saying the was and the word, girlfriend, didn't really fit... "Oh really?" he said, perking up. Obviously, he liked her and I didn't need to read his mind to know that. I didn't want to hear him think about her that way so I lied, "She's already with someone else," well, it might not be a lie at all... "Oh," he said, obviously put out. "She's pretty though..." he mumbled His thoughts were much more descriptive than his words. I got up, tired of his thoughts and pretended to get into the security line, thought there were still two and a half hours left until the plant left the tarmac. I went through the part of the line and when I got up to the desk where they scan you with a metal detector, I caught the attention of several security women. Great. Just fabulous. I had 7 or 8 older women that were infatuated with me. These were the thoughts I had to be around for another half an hour. Two hours left until the plane takes off: I'm through the line and ready to get on the plane. I sat down in the new part of the terminal, hoping that I wouldn't meet those ladies or that man again. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of the chair. I heard someone gasp in front of me and I reluctantly dragged my eye lids open to see...



peace1089	Sep 25 2009, 07:07 PM Post #2
Newbie Posts: 10 Group: Members Member #669 Joined: September 11, 2009	If I rated myself, I would give it a neutral 5.



Guest	Oct 18 2009, 03:51 AM Post #3
Unregistered	8/10 i really liked it and would love you to keep writing :)
Unregistered


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