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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 11 2008, 09:32 AM (304 Views) | |
| =RS= | Mar 11 2008, 09:32 AM Post #1 |
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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny," He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go". |
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| mordockdotcom | Mar 11 2008, 09:39 AM Post #2 |
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heehee |
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| camper_cootie | Mar 11 2008, 10:58 AM Post #3 |
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hehe, his moms obsession was BUNNIES LOL |
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| =RS= | Mar 11 2008, 12:10 PM Post #4 |
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Ok, ok heres another one, ITS JUST A JOKE dont take it serious cootie LOL
:Cootie is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seat, though, so whenever it rains Cootie has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Cootie`s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his new motorcycle to his girlfriend’s house. She is waiting outside for him when he arrives. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word. Our family had a fight a while ago about doing the dinner dishes. We haven't done any since... and the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Cootie sits down for dinner and soon notices that his girlfriend wasn’t exaggerating. It is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen and nobody is saying a word. Cootie decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her onto the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her father is obviously livid, and her mother is horrified. Yet, when Cootie and his girlfriend resume their places at the dinner table, nobody says a word. A few minutes later, Cootie grabs his girlfriend’s mom, throws her onto the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her father is boiling, and her mother is a little more pleased. But still, there is complete silence at the table. Suddenly, there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Cootie remembers his motorcycle outside and so he jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline. With a look of terror in his eyes, the girlfriend’s father backs away from the table and exclaims, "Okay, enough already, I'll do the damn dishes!" Only joking Cootie lol not bad joke though :lol: |
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| mordockdotcom | Mar 11 2008, 12:13 PM Post #5 |
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:lol: |
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| camper_cootie | Mar 11 2008, 12:18 PM Post #6 |
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lol WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT lol That was an awesome joke. I got to do the "MOTHER/DAUGHTER" combo and made daddy go do the dishes LOL. Needless to say. AWESOME JOKE DUDE |
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| CROSs | Mar 11 2008, 01:08 PM Post #7 |
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Awesome |
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| =RS= | Mar 11 2008, 06:36 PM Post #8 |
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Cootie I know you have a good sense of humour you make me laugh in the games with your stuff, keep on posting dude |
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| =RS= | Mar 29 2008, 08:49 AM Post #9 |
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One day RED complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." RED figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks. Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. :lol: |
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| =RS= | Apr 8 2008, 08:55 AM Post #10 |
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Have you heard about the cross eyed teacher, who could'nt control his pupils? Haha
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| irideck | Apr 9 2008, 11:30 PM Post #11 |
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Haha! Those are awesome, RS! Cootie, what a troublemaker you are!
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6:34 PM Jul 10