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| Last Moments | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 1 2007, 03:26 AM (211 Views) | |
| Esaul | Dec 1 2007, 03:26 AM Post #1 |
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Last Moments Prologue Mrs. Antherson and her wonderful husband Mr. Antherson lived in a small town located in New Hampshire. They thought it was the perfect place to live, and so they settled in and stayed there for many years. And through those years together being happily married, they raised two children, Thomas and Ella. Mrs. Antherson quit from her days at college hoping to get her masters. Mr. Antherson on the other hand never went to college; he dropped out of high school when he was seventeen. All his life he lived in Maine, but after a fight with his stepmother, she forced him to move in with his sister in New Hampshire, where he met Mrs. Antherson. August 30th happened to be the day that they met; it also was the day that they married, and the day that their nephew Anthony was born. It was also today, their tenth year anniversary celebrating ten years of vicissitudes that they shared together. They made sure to have their kids out of the house so they could be alone. Or so they thought. Kathy, Mrs. Antherson’s closest friend promised to take Thomas and Ella for the night. The plans backfired when her ex husband appeared drunk at her front door. She for the most obvious reasons could not watch them for the night. This ruined the romantic dinner Mr. Antherson worked so hard to make happen. Mr. and Mrs. Antherson could not afford a luxurious two-story home, which was far out of their budget. Instead, they lived in a trailer park with three bedrooms. This wasn’t the most romantic place to celebrate their anniversary, but the events that led up to it were quite unexpected. Mr. Antherson tried to make everything perfect to make his wife happy. Candles lit up the dining room where they ate their meal. Mrs. Antherson took a sip of her wine, then smiling to her husband. She held onto his firm, rough hand, squeezing it gently. The crying of a baby interrupted the two. Thomas “God damn it!” Mr. Antherson swore out of vexation. “Paul, there is no need for you to swear.” “Ann, this has been going far too long. Every single night he whines, he cries, and he whines. I can’t take it.” She was appalled by the way he overreacted. He never snapped at Thomas' crying. “God forsake you can’t handle a little boy crying. You certainly handled Ella okay. What is with you tonight?” “First our plans for tonight are ruined because some fucking drunk bastard had to show up at that skank’s house.” “Skank? Who are you calling a skank? Kathy is my friend. I am surprised you haven’t called me a skank yet! We are practically twins for Christ’s sake!” “What about that baby of yours? He always cries! I have never heard a baby cry so fucking much.” Ann needed to take a deep breath. What’s gotten into him? She tried to look for something that seemed familiar to her when she gazed at him. Nothing looked the same at all. She could not see his brown hair or eyes, or even the smile of comfort. Then she remembered about Thomas, he was still crying! Getting up from the table, she was about to go to her son’s room. Paul slammed his fist against the wooden table making a large thump. He too rose from his seat, his face a vivid red. “Don’t you ever dare walk away from me, bitch,” he slapped her hard across the face. Ann was petrified, afraid of what he did. Tears welled up in her eyes, wanting to hide in a corner. He raised his hand once more causing her to cower. Then it lowered and his face turned to a calm state. “Ann, I didn’t mean to.” “Go to Hell,” she gritted through her teeth poisoning him with words like venom from a snake. She left the dining room and nearly walked into little three-year-old Thomas who was in a fetal position. He heard and saw everything. “Sweetie, everything’s okay. Shhh…” she lifted him and stroked his blond hair, kissing the top of his head. “Mommy’s here now.” As minutes roll by, Mrs. Antherson managed to make both Thomas and Ella fall asleep. She dared to go down to the kitchen, to face Paul. But he was not there. He was nowhere to be found. He walked out of the house and he never returned. Edited by Esaul, Jun 24 2008, 12:12 PM.
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| Midnight_92 | Dec 1 2007, 09:19 PM Post #2 |
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Joeys Girl <3
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I think my heart beat went up when he slapped her xD;; Good so far!! ^-^ Wouldn't damn-it be cussing as well?? |
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| Ben Zwycky | Dec 2 2007, 01:59 PM Post #3 |
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Fearsome Fleet Leader :D
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I assume the reason for his sudden change will be explained at some point, or was it just little issues left to fester for years that eventually rose to the surface and exploded? |
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| Esaul | Dec 2 2007, 04:46 PM Post #4 |
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Gonna be explained if i can figure out how to make it fit xD |
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| Naruto91 | Dec 3 2007, 03:06 PM Post #5 |
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A Creator of Azryen
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I remember you letting me read this. I read it again and really like it. I especially liked your description: “Go to Hell,” she gritted through her teeth poisoning him with words like venom from a snake. I like the comparison, it was nicely done. |
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| Esaul | Dec 3 2007, 03:15 PM Post #6 |
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THANK YOU! |
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| la-vida-loca | Dec 4 2007, 10:35 PM Post #7 |
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Sometimes I think I was born backwards...
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definetly a good start, S. but i must say the fight popped out of no where and escalated a bit too quickly (imo) other than that, awesome story so far!
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| iluvhp1_7 | Dec 15 2007, 04:35 AM Post #8 |
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Yeah I think you let me read it too or something...thrilling! Mr.Antherson makes me MUY enojado |
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| DayDreamer | Feb 25 2008, 01:21 AM Post #9 |
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yeah i love jonas brothers..got a problem
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ah yes..disfunctional families..always an intersting plot line. I really liked this, poor kids having to see that, or hear it..that's really sad..but makes for a wonderful story idea thingie
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| Esaul | Feb 25 2008, 05:41 AM Post #10 |
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of course with me i always stop working on a story |
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| Riss | Feb 25 2008, 06:11 AM Post #11 |
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Where we gonna go from here?
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I like the way you've written this story. You just haven't gotten enough up for me to say whether or not I like it. For some reason this story reminds me of something... And that scares me. |
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| Esaul | Feb 26 2008, 01:58 PM Post #12 |
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Thanks...i think? |
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| Midnight_92 | Apr 12 2008, 06:22 PM Post #13 |
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Joeys Girl <3
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Why haven't you written...? =[[[ |
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| Esaul | Apr 13 2008, 02:37 PM Post #14 |
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I am going to now. |
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| unbittentongue | Apr 15 2008, 06:02 AM Post #15 |
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I like the intensity that builds up after he first complains about Ella crying. Really strange how out of no where he becomes angry. I can't wait to find out what caused him to change (in her eyes of course) all so suddenly. Great job,
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