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| Elisha; or the Long Away | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 25 2009, 09:24 AM (139 Views) | |
| ESB1138 | Jul 25 2009, 09:24 AM Post #1 |
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Chapter I: An Unexpected Meeting Once upon a time in the land of misty satin dreams there stood a house of a child. Yes a child you see this child’s parents have long gone away. Taken by a great river while they were out on a boat. Sadly this child now lives alone in these lands right next to a great forest. Of course the townsfolk here don’t let the child be alone too often. The townsfolk (or tree-folk as they are called) often come to the child to help take care of him; but this child is more than capable of taking care of himself. This child is but ten years old and his name is Elisha Diadem. Yes Diadem; I’m sure if you are familiar with these parts you’ve heard of that name. The Diadems are most respected by the tree-folk not only because of their wealth but because above all they uphold themselves in the upmost manner. Elisha son of Eli (Eli being his father) continues on the tradition of the Diadems by trying to be as well mannered and caring as anyone would have been in the Diadem family. But sometimes things change; that is natural for things to change. As time moves along things have to change or they simply fade away with the sands of time. Sooner or later if something doesn’t change it ceases to be. And because of this young Elisha will soon discover a change for himself; is it for the better you ask. Well I’ll let you decide once this tale is done. You see Elisha lives in the town of Mayton just south of Silence Woods. Mayton is a humble town that rarely sees (or hears) anyone north of Silence Woods. For the most part the outside world has no knowledge of Mayton and the tree-folk are most satisfied with that. Because of this the tree-folk provide everything for themselves and also some of the most advance technology of this age is still a mystery to them. Still with an axe and a shovel the tree-folk have made a very fine village for themselves to live in. Silence Woods which sits north of the village is filled with many legends and myths. The most popular is a race made up entirely of females with cat ears and cat tails that guard the woods from all harm. Young lads would often venture into the woods to try and find these mysterious women whom the tree-folk call Catlons (cat from the common tongue of man and lon from an ancient language meaning woman). No matter how many go or how long they’re gone for no one has ever actually seen a catlon in person. But Silence Woods has many more legends about it like a witch of the woods who lures young maidens into her domain so she may drain them of their youth. This is so that she may remain youthful and as well as to increase her power. Other legends involve a tomb of a great man whose spirit (or wraith as they are called here) still haunt the lands. It was once said that thousands of years ago this wraith came upon a mortal woman and fathered a child. But enough of legends and myths for our tale today revolves around young Elisha Diadem and his quest that takes him far away from his humble surroundings. You see lately a cold wind has been coming from the north when normally the days would be hot now they are quite cool. Which is very strange since it is May now. The 21st of May year 1863 for that matter of the Bronze Age. But enough of that for now. Our story truly begins one sunny afternoon. Sunday for that matter (on the date I mentioned earlier). Elisha was out about in the town with the other children playing and running through the fields and through the crops. Too be young and youthful again is a dream of all the elders (if you are an elder you will understand). Youth is wasted on the young is such a true statement. Over hills and across streams the children play hide and seek. Hide and seek is Elisha’s favorite game and he is very good at it. But that’s just because of his nature (no not from his father but from his mother Rosalinda Amethyst). Elisha would hide in places no one would even dare try to go into such as wells (which one time he was stuck in there for two days), and rabbit holes, and many other places. The children loved to play hide and seek with Elisha for they always thought of it as a challenge. Amongst these children was Keeley Sapphire (three years Elisha’s elder) who was very pretty with brown curly hair reaching down pass her shoulders. Elisha had a crush on Keeley though he would never admit to it. Not because he is young but because he is shy and timid at everything but hide and seek which he thrives at. Now one day while the children were playing many tree-folk were gathering at the town’s square for a special occasion. Thaddaeus Colbat was celebrating his fiftieth birthday. Thaddaeus was mayor of Mayton (not like a mayor these days but a mayor back then was like a king of a village) and because of this everyone was eagerly preparing for his birthday celebration today. Everyone was busy doing this and that getting ready with fireworks and cake. Music was being prepared for Thaddaeus who has served the people of Mayton better than any mayor has before. From time to time the children would pause their game to run up a hill that allowed them to see the town’s square to get a peak at what was happening. Banners were being raised and tables and chairs were being set out. This got the children very excited for they loved fireworks and enjoyed cake and all the children knew Thaddaeus for Thaddaeus placed much of his time on the children for he cared for them very much as though they were his own. |
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| Esaul | Jul 25 2009, 02:39 PM Post #2 |
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Administrator
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Hey! Glad to see that you decided to join. =D! I remember reading several of your stories a few years back. I even joined your rpg board you made. Good times. Good times. =) So now, on with your story. I really like the introduction you have, as well as the style of your story. It makes me feel like I'm sitting down, and you're reading this as if you're a bard or a storyteller. Nicely done.
It should be two sentences. Yes a child. You see this child's parents have long gone away.
There's nothing wrong with that sentence. I just wanted to point out that I really love it. =)
This sentence confirms my feeling as if you're the bard/storyteller. Love it. =)
You want to have to instead of too. I went and corrected the major mistakes I could find. There are places where you missed commas when you need them. If you want, I could go through the story again and point them out if you really wanted me to. Other than that, I enjoyed the feel of this chapter. I can't wait for more =) |
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