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| I am; A poem I wrote for English | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 1 2007, 09:45 PM (179 Views) | |
| Midnight_92 | Dec 1 2007, 09:45 PM Post #1 |
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Joeys Girl <3
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[size=1]I am caring and energetic. I wonder how many stars are in the sky at night? I hear the sound of the wind. I see the pretty colors in my head. I want an entertaining life. I am caring and energetic. I pretend to skip to the beat of my own drum. I feel stressed when you breath down my neck. I touch the clouds in the sky. I worry about EVERYTHING! I cry when needed/people don't have food. I am a human. I understand that I am not "normal." I say NO to drugs. I dream about being a kid again. I try to be myself. I am Midnight.(Actually posted my first and last name here, but since this is a website I didn't want to..) What do you all think?[/size] |
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| Ben Zwycky | Dec 2 2007, 01:51 PM Post #2 |
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Fearsome Fleet Leader :D
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It comes across as a little random, maybe group together similar subjects more, e.g. move the 'I touch the clouds in the sky' to somewhere in the first verse and move the last line of the first verse to the first line of the second, then it will flow better. Just a suggestion, Ben |
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| Midnight_92 | Dec 2 2007, 04:31 PM Post #3 |
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Joeys Girl <3
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Thanks, but that was the way my english teacher set it up ^-^ |
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| la-vida-loca | Dec 3 2007, 02:36 PM Post #4 |
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Sometimes I think I was born backwards...
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i like it. *nod* i can relate. :P
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| Esaul | Dec 20 2007, 07:41 PM Post #5 |
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Administrator
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I'm inclined to agree with Ben. No offense Midnight, but i know you can do better than that. I'm not trying to offend you, I just know you better than that. Maybe write something on your own that isn't school related? xD |
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| Kira | Dec 21 2007, 02:01 AM Post #6 |
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Pretty nice but could be a bit better |
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| Midnight_92 | Dec 21 2007, 01:15 PM Post #7 |
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Joeys Girl <3
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Thanks, I know...Its cheesey, but I don't write well as it is...>>; Meh. |
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2:49 PM Jul 11
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2:49 PM Jul 11