Welcome Guest
[Log In]
[Register]
| We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Past Reflection | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 24 2008, 11:11 PM (214 Views) | |
| dreamcatcher | Jan 24 2008, 11:11 PM Post #1 |
|
Hello, My name is Alana Im new and i want to know what you think of a poem i wrote. I hope you like it. In your blue eyes, I see your fear. In your reflection I see my fading lines .The hope that once flourished in your soul, sucked by the hatred that you carry. In the emptiness and silence of night you shed your tears, ready for rain. Each memory you shed flashed in front of you as a reminder of a golden age. The flashes of light wallow in a nowhere land, dug in a sea of holes. I hear your unbelieving heart fall to it’s knees, pray for an angel, and my brain telling you the fool you have become. I suffer as I watch you drown only looking for a shadow of hope, that lets you reach the water line for one last gulp of air. I hold you steady as the storm convulse with all its fury and you with all yours. Wondering when the abyss will empty and my past fade. For each memory to expire and each tear to dry. I will catch you with your tired mind and achy body. But will you catch me with my heart worn and faith vanished. |
![]() |
|
| Alp | Jan 24 2008, 11:14 PM Post #2 |
|
[size=0]I think it's extremely lovely. There could be a little tweaking so that it flowed a little better (even for free-verse), but I thought it was phenomenal. You're so cool.[/size] |
![]() |
|
| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 24 2008, 11:17 PM Post #3 |
![]()
|
Incredible Llama i love it But i think you mean a. convulsES and b. i think achy would be better at aching, make it active, it sounds a little better ily its amazing you should put each different thought on a different line, though, that makes it a poem. lol AMAZING |
![]() |
|
| The Phantom | Jan 25 2008, 03:08 AM Post #4 |
|
Very nice, Alana. ^.^ I think it's lovely. Btw, glad to see you joined and welcome to WD. |
![]() |
|
| RYUK | Jan 25 2008, 04:05 AM Post #5 |
|
I really liked your poem Alana. I could feel the emotions, which is what makes it a good poem. Alana Rocks! Love ya, Ludy |
![]() |
|
| Samanthasammy224 | Jan 25 2008, 05:14 AM Post #6 |
|
Sammie
|
I like ur pome Alana. One question is it about someone close to you? Love Ya, Donnelly |
![]() |
|
| la-vida-loca | Jan 25 2008, 08:34 PM Post #7 |
![]()
Sometimes I think I was born backwards...
|
breathtaking.
|
![]() |
|
| Esaul | Jan 26 2008, 10:56 AM Post #8 |
|
Administrator
|
i like the poem itself, just not the format. muy bien! |
![]() |
|
| « Previous Topic · Poems · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
2:49 PM Jul 11
|






2:49 PM Jul 11