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| Our Silence; Yet another Love Poem | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 25 2008, 01:51 AM (157 Views) | |
| HopelessLoverBoy | Jan 25 2008, 01:51 AM Post #1 |
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These Past few days we've exchanged our silence.I can't be sure of anything anymore... I feel shaded out as though I were left in the dark. Entangled in a stream of my peers words.. has left me with a lack of knowledge of your observations of me... Even now if you know.. if don't feel the same way.. or even if your still oblivious to the fact I'm reffering to you....It's alright. Perhap another time? Another place? Sadly though my fear still strike me... Others have graced me with words of encouragement but I see it as failure... being rubbed in my face... Well I'll take a walk and clear my thoughts! Hopefully my heart will follow... It would be nice if you did too.. "I've been told many thing about this poem. So have told me its very good. Yet others have told me it seems incomplete, which is funny because when I wrote this poem I felt incomplete. So it was a bit funny to me,,," - HopelessLoverBoy |
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| minaeena | Jan 25 2008, 02:40 AM Post #2 |
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Hmm, it does sound kinda incomplete, but that's how its supposed to be, isn't it? It's supposed to allow the possibility of whatever happening to happen, since the topic of the poem isn't done, technically... that makes so much more sense in my mind, but you get what i mean. |
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| HopelessLoverBoy | Jan 25 2008, 02:46 AM Post #3 |
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Of course. That why I suppiled everyone with my qoute how I felt incomplete that day. After all an artist work often relects his/her mood. ^^ Yeah and your right though the odds aren't pointing in my favor. Haha. |
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| The Phantom | Jan 25 2008, 04:12 AM Post #4 |
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Pretty good. Does indeed seem incomplete. Also, you got a few bits of spelling errors. Look over it again and catch them and fix them, and it will be one hell of a poem! |
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| la-vida-loca | Jan 25 2008, 08:30 PM Post #5 |
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Sometimes I think I was born backwards...
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tis good. like the concept, not much a fan of the scheme, though. the second stanza's the best, imo. love your avvy, HopelessLoverBoy. |
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| Esaul | Jan 26 2008, 08:10 AM Post #6 |
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Administrator
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Is it possible to give someone a thumb and a half? Well i'm gonna be the first to do that! As Phantom said, a few spelling errors which kinda threw me for a loop once or twice. Nice poem, isn't the best. But I liked it all the same. xD |
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2:49 PM Jul 11
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These Past few days we've exchanged our silence.



2:49 PM Jul 11