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| Jamie's Smile; About the Holocaust | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 24 2008, 11:55 PM (305 Views) | |
| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 24 2008, 11:55 PM Post #1 |
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Alright guys this was an assignment for language arts class, sorry if there are type os or any weird phrases, it took longer to wright than I expected so I didn't have time to proof it the way I normally do, and I might have missed some irritating things. I apologize. Jamie's Smile By: Ariel Hughes Dear Diary, September 27, 1938 My name is Sasha Katz, I live in Germany, and today I turned fourteen. My friend named Aaron gave you to me, as a birthday gift, and you are an amazing present because when Aaron made you, he even added a secret compartment inside you that holds anything I want! It’s also perfect timing because my pen pal, Sarah, who lives in the next village over, needed a journal, so I gave her my extra, ergo I needed a replacement. Sammy and Rachelle (my two best friends) came to my birthday party, after visiting Sarah, and they said it was even better than my Bat Mitzvah party. Rachelle and Sammy just had their fifteenth birthday party last week, and so now we can all celebrate our new age together. We, Sammy, Rachelle, and I, met in school about seven years ago, and we have been close ever since. Sammy and Rachelle are twins, but while they look similar, they couldn’t be any more different. Sammy is a constant comedian, not one moment passes without a joke and a smile; she is a little bottle of instant sunshine. Rachelle is a worrywart; she makes any situation tenser, but can make anyone feel better if they are sad. Aaron is fifteen, and I have known him since I can remember. He is athletic, caring and smart. That must be why we get along so well; I can sit down and have a stimulating conversation with him. Our families are very close, apart from being our next-door neighbors, our mothers, fathers, and our little sisters are all best friends. Aaron and I have always been and are still very close, and people joke that we are going to end up together, and while I would like that, I don’t think it will ever happen… he just doesn’t seem to be interested in me…but that’s okay because that might change someday. Jamie has been calling Aaron my fiancé but that’s just because she recently learned what a fiancé is. I love Jamie to death, but she can be a major pain-in-the-butt sometimes. At my party she was in a pink dress with a little pink ribbon in her hair, she was going up to all of my friends telling them about her most recent trip to the playground. My friends thought she was adorable, but it’s not cute for a six-year-old to be going around and talking with fourteen-year-olds who just want to dance with their friends. I still love that little munchkin anyway, but with a face like she has, who couldn’t? After the party my friends and I went out for a private dinner, just Aaron, Rachelle, Sammy and I, and we ate and talked about what we thought this new age, this extra year would do for us, and what this new year would hold. We spoke and spoke, one minute it was seven and the next; it was midnight. When I got home my mom was her usually smiley, giggly self and my dad was relaxing on the sofa, reading as he normally does. I gave my mom and dad a hug, and thanked them for one of the best days of my life. They went back to their everyday activities and I went back to my room. I peaked in to check on Jamie, who was fast asleep in her bed, still in her pink party dress with her hair ribbon. I continued down the hall to the last door, my room. It is so good to be back. I find my little slice of heaven in my friends, Sasha Dear Diary, October 3, 1938 My pen pal, Sarah, hasn’t written me in four or five days. I am worried, we normally write to each other everyday… this is so unlike her. I wonder if this latency period in out mail has any connection with the S.S. guards who have started to show up in our town, or the rumors circulating about villages of Jews being evacuated. The S.S. guards don’t seem too threatening, there are only four of them, and all they do is walk up and down streets, one of them has even become friends with the family who lives across from us (the Schwartz family) and I have seen him have dinner with the Schwartz family on two occasions. People are saying that the S.S’s appearance could only be bad, Rachelle is worrying, as usual, but thankfully Sammy and Aaron are keeping me sane, I don’t know what I would do with out them. Sammy is working on Rachelle’s perspective, while Aaron is comforting me. Jamie likes the S.S guards; she thinks that their uniforms are “nice and tidy” and that that makes them nice people. Mom and dad don’t seem more worried than I would expect, mom is still bubbly and dad is still relaxed, I think that they aren’t going to worry until the guards give them a reason to. The Goldmans, who live a short distance from here, recently went to their cousin’s town, and it was completely empty, not one soul remained…apparently they had been evacuated, Aaron said its probably just because the front is moving closer, but that doesn’t make me any more settled. Sammy, Rachelle and I went out shopping, we all needed some more dresses, and Sammy needed another pair of shoes. We invited Aaron, but shopping wasn’t exactly on the top of his to-do list. When I got back he made me model the two dresses I got for him. He said that I looked odd in one of them, so I told him that if he didn’t like it that he should come shopping with me next time, and to my surprise, he promised that he would. Mom said she doesn’t want me to go out only with Rachelle and Sammy with the S.S around…I think she is more worried about me than she is for herself. Dad agrees with mom, but I don’t think either of them are particularly worried; I think that they are just being precautious. Aaron agrees with both of them, he said that he was worried the whole time I was gone… since when is he the worrywart? Any way, he has insisted on escorting me, and Jamie, anywhere we need to go. Jamie thinks we have a bodyguard, I don’t think she has figured out that it is going to be Aaron, silly girl. Well, I am going to need to get Aaron soon because I need to go and buy some food for dinner, I’ll write again soon. There are dark clouds on the horizon, Sasha Dear Diary, October 21, 1938 There is going to be no helping Rachelle now. At least twenty new S.S guards have moved into our town…now everyone is concerned. Mom and dad aren’t as worried as I thought they would be, interestingly. All they told me was that they wouldn’t let me out of the house for extended periods with out a group of at least four people. Sammy was going up the guards earlier and trying to get them to tell her their names. It was actually pretty hilarious, she was attempting to small talk with them, and all they wanted to do was avoid her. Rachelle, the entire time, was pulling on Sammy’s sleeve and saying “lets go, lets go, leave the men alone” but Sammy was having too much fun to listen to her sister. “How has your day been today?” she inquired, “My name is Sammy, and I think we should be friends” he was walking so quickly down the street that she had to run to keep up with him. Sammy was determined to make him look, she kept talking to him until finally he stopped, turned towards her and said: “Stop, now, or I will be forced to use my gun” he was serious, we could tell. Aaron practically picked Sammy up as we ran back up the street. When I got home my father was concerned, he asked what was wrong, and when I told him what happened, he was furious. “Why would you let your friend do that?” he asked “you are normally so much more level headed than that.” He was calm, but I could tell he was upset with me. Aaron came over about an hour after I got home. His mom had freaked out on him, but he said that she was also proud of him for protecting us. I told him that I didn’t need protecting, but he just laughed at me and said “Sure you don’t”. Though we are okay now, I now know that these S.S guards aren’t fond of us, and probably have cruel intentions. I am scared, just being around them. They are very intimidating, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to get rid of them, and if there were a way, it doesn’t look like anyone would pursue it. They are either too scared or oblivious, either way; it can’t end well for us. I feel their hate towards us growing everyday. I see darkness ahead, Sasha Dear Diary, November 9, 1938 Could any one possible be this cruel? Tonight was Kristallnacht or Night of Broken Glass they are calling it. Just an hour ago our street was lined with angry men, who had clubs. They beat in all of our windows, jeered at us, and said things to us that were below condescending. They threw bricks, they burned books, and they looted our stores and destroyed all that the Jewish community had worked for. Aaron told me that all of this was because a Jew shot and caused the death of the German secretary for the embassy. It’s a shame that a man died, but it seems to me that the murderer and the victim’s nationality shouldn’t be an object when people are mourning one or the other. Murders occur every day, and in every one of them someone dies whom at least one person loved…I think that even though this Ernst vom Rath was famous and well liked, but that is no good excuse for taking it out on the people of the nationality to which the murderer belonged. My father’s antique store has had all of its windows bashed in, and a lot of the merchandise has been stolen or burned, in any case, dad says that if he even can open the store it’s going to take a very long time, and it is going to cost us a lot of money. Mom said that dad isn’t one to give up something that he has worked for, and though I know that to be true, he doesn’t seem to be very interested in our shop. He is worried; he said that this is only the beginning; with Hitler building up anti-Semitism all across Europe there is no end to the offences that the Aryans can do to us. Jamie still thinks that the guards are nice men, just that “they are being told to do mean things and that they don’t realize how mean they are”. Jamie does always tend to think the best of people. I am sure that not all of the S.S guards are horrible, but I haven’t seen any mercy from them, not one kind word, and not one sweet gesture. Jamie told us that one of them picked up her shoe and gave it to her when it fell off, but who could be mean to Jamie? It really doesn’t prove anything to me; she is too cute for anyone to be cruel to. At about noon today we went out for another shopping trip, and I didn’t forget Aaron’s promise, so Rachelle, Aaron, Sammy, and I all went into town. Rachelle wouldn’t even come out of the house this morning until Sammy practically pushed her over the threshold. Rachelle said that we shouldn’t walk around when the S.S guards were out, especially when it was later in the day. Aaron was worried too, he had his arm around me; he said it made him worry less about my safety. As we walked through the town, stopping in the occasional store, we chatted about school, and how we felt about the S.S. We went into a clothing store and Aaron helped me find dresses that he liked, “If I have to look at these dresses I might as well have a say in what they look like”, he teased. We left with two new dresses just as the store closed, it was around seven o’clock. We were walking down the street admiring the window displays when we heard a big crowd rounding the corner behind us, and the sound of shattering glass and jeering shouts. Aaron spread his arms around us, and led us into an alley, he whispered into my ear “I have a bad feeling about this”, and Rachelle started to cry on my shoulder. Sammy was joking around, but her voice was cracking like it normally does when she is petrified. Aaron was trying to calm us down as the riotous gang passed the entrance to our alley. We all line the back of the alley, concealed in it’s shadows and remained frozen until we couldn’t hear the mob anymore, as soon as we knew they were gone we ran. We ran as if our lives depended on it. As it turned out, it did, we heard later that forty people had died on Kristallnacht. At home my mother and father held me, they said I thought I had been taken away. I told them what good care Aaron had taken care of all of us girls. Mom said that she thinks we should stay home a little bit more often with all of the horrible things that have been happening around here lately, and I can’t help but agree. I am so lucky to have had Aaron with me. Light is easier to find in darkness, Sasha Dear Diary, November 15, 1938 If you want a twist to this already twisted truth, boy do I have one for you, diary. Kristallnacht was only three days ago, but it seems like it has been a lifetime. Not only does the Nazi party blame the Jews for Kristallnacht, but now they are forcing us to pay for it. At least one billion marks must be pays for damages relating to Kristallnacht, it’s the punishment for our suffering, I suppose. Mom is maintaining her usual jolly attitude; she always was one to roll with the punches. Dad is reading more often, I think he wants to escape this reality, and the best way to do that is trough books. Dad isn’t upset, he is still calm; he is just a little overwhelmed. Sammy and Rachelle said that their parents are both having a melt down. They keep talking about the impending annihilation of all Jews. Sammy said that they were basically running in circles screaming; “the sky is falling! The sky is FALLING!” but Rachelle thinks that her parents are right, she said that Jews have always been hated, and now that we are being blamed for the fall of Germany, she said that getting rid of us is the easiest way to: boost the nationalism in Germany, and “improve” the economy. I don’t think that anyone could be cruel enough to do what Rachelle predicts. Could anyone actually kill an entire race of people? Aaron is acting strange. I went to next door, and he was still in bed. It was past twelve! I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing, but I could tell that she was depressed. I sat with him and talked to him. It turns out that he is worried, a little about me, my safety, but mostly because he hasn’t seen the (the family who made friends with the S.S guard). He said that he and Mr. Schwartz had a brief exchange when they both went out to get their newspaper. For the past week or so the papers have been piling up, and Aaron hasn’t seen him come out of his house once. He said that that was why he hadn’t gotten up that morning; he didn’t want to go and get the paper and see that Mr. Schwartz isn’t there. I couldn’t leave him there, we decided to go to their house and check up on the Schwartz family. We are going to the house now, when I get back I will let you know what has happened. Here’s to hoping, Sasha Oh-Dear Diary, Later That Day Mr. Schwartz, Mrs. Schwartz, their daughter…they are all dead. Aaron and I found them at the dinning table, each of them shot at least three times. Aaron collapsed on the floor as soon as we saw them; he passed out. I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn’t open his eyes. I ran out side and there was a policeman on the corner, about 100 yards away. I sprinted to the end of the street, and through panting breaths I told the policeman about the Schwartz family. He laughed and said “sure young lady, why don’t you just go home and take a little nap” ii told him I was serious, and that they were dead, he walked away. I rant to keep up. I told him that if he didn’t believe me, he should go and look for himself. I tried to get him to walk faster to the house, but he meandered, as if this didn’t mean anything. We got to the house, opened to door and saw Aaron, sobbing on the floor, and the murdered family sitting politely in their seat. I went to Aaron’s side as the policeman rushed to accompany the family. Aaron looked up at me with blood shot eyes, “I thought the S.S men took you!!” the cried as he grabbed me. I hugged him and explained that I had gotten a policeman to help us. He cried as I whispered to him that it was going to be okay. “No,” he sobbed, “this is only the beginning, our fates are sealed, we are going to end up just like them” he motioned to the Schwartz family. I helped him up off the ground, and whispered to him that it wasn’t true, that we were fine. He sobbed as we walked back across our street to our houses, as we split our separate ways he said “it was the S.S guard, wasn’t it? I bet it was”, I hugged him, “everything is going to be okay,” I whispered in his ear. When I got into my house my mom rushed up to me and asked me what was wrong, she said my face was white and my eyes were red. I told her about the Schwartz family and she hugged me, telling me how brave I was. My dad said that I always was a little adventurer, and I went to bed. Even the strong can fall. My forecast is overcast, Sasha Dear Diary, February 23, 1939 I am so sorry for not writing to you in such a long time. I couldn’t stand to look at this last entry. Its been three months and the sight of my dear friend Aaron fainting and crying. My protector, my comforter, he cried, he fainted, and I was left alone. It’s my one fear: being left alone. I can’t handle it, I make rash decisions, that often turn out badly, and I’ll do just about anything for companionship. It’s the desperation that I fear, the desperation comes along with separation, and living solitarily that makes me scared. We are more used to the S.S guards, they still scare us, but I don’t think that we are at risk. As for the Schwartz family, no one could figure out what would happen to them, or at least that’s what the police told us. I will write once-in-a-while to give you updates. Things around here are uneventful, but trust me, I am not complaining, things could be much, much worse, I think we are well off right now. Do I see a patch of blue on the horizon? Sasha Dear Diary, July 20, 1939 Hey there! I haven’t written to you in a while! Well I have some more updates for you (the good kind)! Sammy and Rachelle both have boyfriends now, and they are such cute couples! Sammy is going out with a boy named Jake, and Rachelle is dating a boy named Isaac. Both girls picked boys that complement them completely. Jake has a great sense of humor and takes teasing jokes really well, and Isaac thrives off of no-nonsense environments and always keeps a good and level head. Aaron and I have been hanging out more, with our other friends missing. I miss the girls but I love to hang out with Aaron. I think Jamie was right, I think I have fallen for him…that little girl knows more than she should. Speaking of Jamie: today is her birthday and she just turned seven. She made mom and dad sit on both sides of her and Aaron and I sit across from her, she said that when wee are around her she feels loved. She is so cute. Anyway, the S.S guards are still here, but about ten more came recently… its like an invasion, but its not all bad, I feel more protected, I think that they are here to protect us. I haven’t heard anything bad about these men recently, maybe the front is closing in; that’s what Aaron thinks. Jamie was right, again. These men are kind. The S.S just might be our protectors, Sasha Dear Diary, August 4, 1941 I thought I had lost you! Unfortunately for you, you were found behind my dresser. Why unfortunately? My family and I are being deported. It’s a long story, but I am in a truck traveling far away from my home, and it’s going to be a long drive, so I have nothing but time. Lets start with some updates: I am sixteen now, Jamie is nine, and Aaron, Sammy, and Rachelle are seventeen. Sammy and Rachelle’s boyfriends both moved away, but they are over it now. Aaron and I are still just friends, though I would like to be more than that… I’m not sure he feels the same way about me. Okay, now this is what happened: About a week ago, all of a sudden our protectors started to become hostile. I guess Jamie was wrong after all. They yelled at us, and jeered when we walked by, they started to from huddles and whisper about Jews. Everyone was scared again; our protectors had become our oppressors. Aaron often snuck out of his house at night and came over, through my window because he knew how afraid I was. He wasn’t scared, he said that things have a way of working themselves out. He told me that so everything would be okay, and that we would be safe. Fast forward to last night. We heard gunshots outside our home. Father went outside to see what it was, and an S.S man came up to him and told him that we had tonight to pack our bags, that we were going to be deported. When dad asked him where we were going, the man pulled out a gun and said: “don’t talk to me Jew”. Dad rushed in and told us that we had to pack, so I went through my whole room looking for my belongings that I might want to take with me. That’s when I found you behind my dresser, I haven’t seen you in three years but you are an old friend. I nearly went crazy when I lost you, but I wouldn’t buy a new dairy, you mean too much to me. When I had my one bag packed and ready I came out of my room to fond Aaron, Sammy, and Rachelle all together, waiting on me. I showed Aaron that you were one of the items I chose to bring, and he smiled, I think he was the only person in our neighborhood smiling. The four of us sat and talked, and speculated (mostly the latter). We tried to imagine where we were going. Aaron thought we were going to be carted away and dropped in a random desert. Sammy said that she thought the guards were going to take us to a city in some other country, and get rid of us. Rachelle didn’t say a word; she just sat and stared at the wall. I think we are going to be sent to a large complex, where we wont be able to leave, and with S.S guards everywhere. In any case, after sitting on the ground for an hour we go inside little vans, 20 per vehicle. My family and Aaron’s family are together with two other families we don’t know. At least we know that Rachelle and Sammy are together. Now Aaron and I are sitting together, on the floor of a truck’s trunk, trying to sleep, since we didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. My mother is still trying to make people feel better. “Maybe we were too close to the war front, so they are moving us for our safety” she theorized. She said that they wont hurt us because we are German citizens, but I think she forgets that we aren’t even considered human to the Aryans. Jamie is curled up on my lap, she is in a deep sleep, and has a smile on her face. She is having a good dream. I hope that she will always have happy dreams. Even during the darkest of times, I hope she can have a reason to smile, weather it is because of reality or not. Jamie colors my grey world with her smile, Sasha Dear Diary, August 5, 1941 It is day two of our travel, I slept surprisingly well for a prisoner. Aaron looks like he slept too but Aaron’s parents don’t look like they slept at all. My parents are explaining to them that they need rest, they have to rest for Aaron and Ellie (his sister) and that if they don’t sleep they will be dooming their son and daughter. We pretend not to hear, but it makes for an awkward environment. Aaron brought cards so ha and I are playing, he isn’t very good at poker, but I’m helping him… and kicking his butt too. I need to stop writing now, I'm sorry, I’ll write more later, I promise, but right now I have to finish thrashing Aaron at poker. I can’t see the end of this tunnel yet, Sasha Dear Diary, Later that day Aaron is sleeping; I think he’s taking a nap. Jamie is talking with mom and dad. I have time to think. This trip isn’t so bad. I’m thirsty, and hungry, but our driver is nice enough, I don’t think he is supposed to be nice, but he is very kind to my family and the rest of our passengers. He said that today we should arrive at our destination. He won’t tell us where it is, or what will happen there, but he told us that this is the last day we will spend on this trip. I was thinking earlier, about the hatred that the Aryans have for us. We haven’t done anything to them. Why do they hate us when they have no reason to then? Well, what I think is that they think they have a reason, when it is all a lie. A lie that Hitler gave them, that whispers in their ear all the time, telling them that we must die, that we are hurting them. That’s why they are doing this, not only are they angry with us, they are scared too. Why are they scared? It’s simple really. They think that we are the reason for their unemployment; our presence means fewer jobs, and being unemployed, not being able to feed you family; it’s a scary thing. Perhaps an epiphany from the Germans would lead to a good relationship between our races, I don’t hope for peace, because it is only the pause between wars, but I do hope for a friendship with the Aryans. Hope dies last, Sasha Dear Diary, August 6, 1941 We were all wrong, but who would have imagined that this is where we would end up? We are in a ghetto, all of the Jews in our large town; we are crammed into a ghetto at least half as large as our town. We are antsy, all of us, all the Jews who were in our village. They assigned us our homes, but they wont let us move until all of the homes have been assigned. They say that these are our homes for now. We cannot trade; we cannot buy a bigger one. We get what we get. I don’t like it here. It is strange, and everything looks grey. Jamie is even different. She isn’t smiling. She said that she wanted to go home, but I think that she knows that we cant. She hasn’t smiled since they separated us from Aaron. I think she is worried that we wont be near him when we get our new house. She is scared, and her best friend, Ellie (Aaron’s little sister), is gone. She is afraid of being alone too. I am trying to help her calm down, I even let her play with the cards that Aaron lent me. She just can’t be cheered up. Being scared isn’t something cards can fix, and a sister cant help in the way that she needs help, but mom and dad are worrying too, and I don’t think that they are in the position to help her. I’ll just have to do the best I can I think Jamie’s smile stayed home, Sasha Dear Dairy, Later That Day Everyone has been issued new cages. I think that house isn’t a word that I would apply to any part of this environment. It isn’t a house, and it definitely inst a home, but I guess I shouldn’t complain… we could be dead. This new cage isn’t too bad… it’s only a little smaller than our old house. The S.S guards have issued some rules for us. They say we are late coming to this ghetto, that we were supposed to be here a year ago, so they don’t have time to wait and issue rules. They told us that we have a curfew. We can’t go out of the house after 9 o’clock P.M. They said that if we disobey this order, that they will shoot us. The same fate shall befall anyone who disobeys any of the S.S guards' orders. It seems like they only want these rules so that they can prove that they can control us. Apart from the control, our new life might be okay. Jamie and I have to share a room, but that doesn’t matter too much, she would have been sleeping in my room tonight anyway, because of all the trauma she has experienced today. There is a kitchen, a dinning room, a living room, a room for my mom and dad and even a little backyard. All that I am missing are my friends What is lost is never really gone, Sasha Dear Diary, August 7, 1941 Looking around, all I can see is a fence lined with barbed wires and thousands of identical cages. While being caged is one thing, it’s worse to be caged alone… I can’t find my friends. I went out looking for my friends earlier today, I looked up and down my street, until I saw that the S.S guards, who were on the corner, were becoming suspicious. I was sad, depressed even. What is an existence without friends? I was crying in my room when I heard an echo of my own sobs, but it was weird; the cries sounded different, and coming from behind me. I went out into my backyard, where I heard the cries coming from. The cage behind ours had its windows open, and someone inside the cage was turned away from the window… and was crying. He sounded familiar. “Aaron?” I summoned through the window. Aaron whirled around and a broad smile flashed on his face. “SASHA!” he exclaimed. I asked him why he was crying, and he said that it was because he couldn’t find a friend. When asked him if that friend’s name happen to start with an “S” and end with an “asha” he blushed and looked away. I told him that I lived right behind him and that, when he was ready, he should come over. Eleven minutes later he climbed through my window. I told him about that great new invention called a “door” but he said that climbing through windows was all the rage. We spoke for a long while, he said that Sammy and Rachelle lived right across from him; but that it was me he had been looking for and gave me a huge hug. I told him that I had been crying too, but that he missed it, he snapped his fingers and said “darn!” I called Jamie out from the living room and when she saw Aaron her face lit up. She ran full speed towards him, and he snatched her up in his arms. He said, “Hello young lady, how are you?” and like my little Jamie, she said “I’m better now, would you please go and bring me Ellie?” He was back in less than a minute, through the front door this time, with Ellie, and as soon as the little girls saw each other, they shrieked and chased each other into the living room. Aaron and I sat on my floor and talking about Rachelle and Sammy. Aaron said that Sammy is okay, but Rachelle wont come out of her cage. Not even Aaron could entice her out. She was scared of the guards, she said that they are waiting out side; she said that they were going to kill her. After an hour or so of talking Jamie came in with her hands behind her back and Ellie behind her with a massive smile on her little face. Jamie said “Sasha, I made something for you” and she pulled out a colorful bracelet made of little round plastic beads. She slipped it on her wrist and said: “I love you Sasha”. Aaron gave me the “Your Sister is so Cute.” look. She looked at me with an elated expression on her face as I told her how beautiful it was and how much I loved it. She said that she, Ellie, our mom and I were in a club and that these were our matching bracelets that we could never take off. I told her I would keep it forever, and as soon as Jamie and Ellie were don’t giving me hugs Aaron wished Jamie and I a good night’s sleep and took Ellie home. Maybe being in a cage is not too bad. They can’t make me unhappy with out my consent, Sasha Dear Diary, August 10, 1941 Today I went over to Aaron’s cage, and mocked his window entrance stunt, to which he told me about a great invention called the “door”. I laughed as I sat down on his bed. He stood up in front of me, looking down at me with his big brown eyes and handed me a box. I unwrapped it and opened it to find a silver ring, with one little ruby right in the middle of it. My face went numb, I went into a state of shock, all I could do as my heart raced was look up at him and say: “thank you, it’s beautiful”. He leaned over me and whispered into my ear “Sasha? Would you like to be my girlfriend?” I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. Was this really happening? Was I dreaming? No. He had asked me to be his girlfriend. I stood up off the bed and gave him a great hug and said: “It’s about time you asked”. He laughed and kissed me. I was so happy that I started to cry, and when he saw I was crying, he looked at me with a puzzled expression. “What’s wrong”, he asked. I told him it was a girl thing, but he made me explain to him how I had liked him for a while and that I could hardly believe that he had actually asked me. As we sat on his bed, talking, joking, and kissing, time flew by. It was eleven o’ clock and pitch black outside when I noticed that earth was still rotating, and that time hadn’t frozen, you cant get everything you want, and so I left, reluctantly. Aaron came with me and saw me into bed, being quiet as to not wake Jamie, and wishing me sweet dreams before escaping out the window. The ring fit my finger as if it had been made especially for me. I put it on and promised my self that the two presents I had received today would never leave my possession. I guess love does exist everywhere, even between steal bars, Sasha Dear Dairy, August 27, 1941 This cage is starting to turn into more of an aviary. We have established just about everything a town needs. We have: police, firefighters, rabbis and temples, schools and even doctor’s offices. This might even work better than our old town. We are all Jews and so there will be no anti- Semitism, and there will be no discrimination because we all have the same homes and no possession other than the ones we brought, i.e. not much. I went with Aaron to Sammy and Rachelle’s cage today, and I got quite the shock. Sammy was there to greet us, smiling, as always, but Rachelle was sitting on the floor, next to an empty chair, and looking, blankly, at the wall. Sammy tried to tell us she was okay, but it took her fifteen minutes to even realize that we were near her. We got her standing, and we got her to speak a little but even Aaron couldn’t get her to actively participate in out conversation. When we had talked for a little while, we decided that it was time to let them in on our relationship. When we told them they screamed and jumped up and down cheering me on, as if he wasn’t standing right next to us. He laughed at our girlish display and grabbed me and held my back to his stomach as I talked with my friends. Needless to say that Rachelle was awakened, but we still couldn’t get her outside, we begged and we pleaded, but she just wouldn’t step over the threshold. We even tried to carry her out, but she put up one hell of a fight. We told her she would have to come out eventually, but she refused to believe it, and slunk further into the darkness of her house. Aaron and I gave up and returned to my house for dinner. My family knew we were going out, but nothing had changed, I guess they always had figured that we would go out one day. He is already part of the family, and Jamie adores him. Jamie keeps telling everyone that she and Ellie are sisters by marriage, and Aaron and I laugh as we see them skipping around singing about being sisters. When it was time for him to go home, I gave him a kiss good night, and he wished me sweet dreams, and Jamie and I retired to bed. I looked out my window, on that cold night and saw Aaron doing the same thing. I breathed on the window to make it fog up and drew a heart in the condensation. He reciprocated the gesture and he turned off his lights. We are just two caged lovebirds, Sasha Dear Diary, September 3, 1941 I awoke in the middle of the night with a start to see Aaron, Jamie, and Ellie standing over me, begging me to get up. As I rubbed my eyes Aaron jerked me up out of bed, but caught me before I hit the ground. I was shaking as they told me what had happened: the S.S guards had ordered an immediate evacuation. Same drill as before, one bag, we will leave in the morning, and everyone must come. I immediately got up, and with Aaron’s help I packed my bag. I gathered up all of my most precious possessions: my ring from Aaron, you, and my bracelet from Jamie. I sat on the floor, this was too much pressure from me to stand; it pushed me to the floor. My mother and father were making last minute preparations, the S.S guards said that all of out valuables had to be given to them for the trip, but daddy doesn’t believe them, and I don’t either. We hid our money in the hallow underneath of our couch and hid our valuable jewelry behind a picture on the wall. Dad asked me for my ring, but I told him that I was taking it. He told me to hide to from the S.S guards, so I put it inside of you, in your secret pocket. As we all piled out of our houses on to the ground we looked at the guards surrounding us, with guns at the ready. Aaron and I looked around in dismay. Where were Sammy and Rachelle? We couldn’t see them anywhere, them or their families. The guards started to take roll. Eventually they got to the part that Aaron and I we lamenting most “Rachelle Rosen?” they demanded. “RACHELLE ROSEN!” they cried again. They peered around as a clamor started to rise in the seated group. One guard asked where they live, and departed in a hurry. As we sat anxiously, there was a prolonged silence. It seemed to stretch out time indefinitely, then amongst all of the silence we heard a gun shot, a long pause, another shot, another pause, another shot, a last pause and a last shot. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, but I felt a tear drop running down my face, followed by three of its companions. A tear for every one of the Rosens. As the tears ran off my face, and hit the ground they were absorbed and, in an instant, they were gone. The guard returned as the tears vanished. All he said was “accounted for”. I am on a truck ride now. In a state between consciousness and a dream. Could my best friends really be gone? They weren’t here, and Aaron is in as bad a state as I am. This isn’t like anything that the S.S guards have done before. They killed a whole family, Aaron and I will never see our friends again, and we need them now, more than ever. The only luck we have had is that Aaron and I are on the same truck again. No thought is making sense, no word holds any meaning; the only thing that seems real is Aaron’s hand wrapped around mine. We have lost more than our best friends, I think we have lost our happiness too. The sun has burned out, Sasha Dear Diary, September4, 1941 I don’t think that this whole in my heart will ever close. I can’t see what I am doing, I am living in a fog. People speak to me, but I can’t hear them, I look out the little window on this truck, and I see nothing. Aaron holds me, but I cant even feel his presence. I floated through toady, scarcely noticing my environment, or the people in it I caught little snitches of conversation. They spoke about the Rosens, about the cruel fate that they had met. I couldn’t listen. I wouldn’t listen. How could I? Every time they say Sammy and Rachelle’s names my heart tears in two. Righting is the most I have done today, but I’m tired. I will write when I have more enthusiasm, but right now, life just doesn’t seem so important. My smile left with Sammy and Rachelle, Sasha Dear Diary, September 5, 1941 I love Sammy and Rachelle. I think they sent me a dream. I was sitting on a cloud, with my head in my hands, and I was sobbing, when two angels landed and sat on either side of me. I looked up and saw Rachelle and Sammy. They hugged me and started to cry. They told me not to cry for them, they said that they were happy, and that they were worried for Aaron, me, and our families. They said that their mom and dad were with them and that they could do what ever they wanted. They told me how much they loved me, and asked me to send to message to Aaron too. As I slowly awoke to the bumping road under me I saw my two guardian angels float away, until they had vanished, and in the place of their angelic glow was the little window at the top of the truck’s wall. I started to smile, and Aaron looked over at me with a hurt expression on his face. “It’s fine” I told him “Rachelle and Sammy send their love”. He started to smile too, a tear slide down his face and landed on my arm. “Sorry” he said, as he wiped away his tear. We took care of Jamie and Ellie for the rest of today. They were both happy to “have me back”. They said that they missed me yesterday. I asked Aaron if they knew about Rachelle and Sammy, and he said no, but that they had been asking. Sure enough, in an hour they asked me what had happened to my friends. I told them that they were free, that they had gotten out of the ghetto, which wasn’t a lie at all. Jamie and Ellie laughed and cheered gleefully when they learned that their friends were okay, and who am I to break a child’s spirit. When we were about to eat a bit of bread (our daily ration) the truck stopped and we were taken off. The door swung open to reveal a man in an S.S guard uniform. “You are now at Auschwitz, this is a concentration camp. You will not be babysat, and no rowdiness will be tolerated. This area is not for you enjoyment. This is a way for the country to benefit off of its burden. You will not have fun, you will not smile, and you will not laugh.” He dictated. He stepped aside to expose a massive camp. The eye stretched over mile upon mile of grey and black. The buildings were grey, the putrid smoke coming out of four large chimneys was black, and even the hundreds of men and women there seemed to be grey. I walked along the path, holding Jamie and Ellie’s hands. When we got inside they said that women were to go to the left and men to the right. I gave my dad and Aaron a hug and kiss goodbye as Jamie and Ellie started to cry. “It’s okay guys, I am still here, I wont leave you” I told them. I went to my mother and asked her what was going on but she had no idea. A little further up was a man who asked us our age and occupation. He waved my mother to the right and Ellie, Jamie and I to the left. I hugged my mother goodbye and gave her a kiss as we were separated. I still had Ellie and Jamie. As we walked further on, a man said that we would be taking a shower, with our clothes up ahead. “See Jamie?” I said, “There isn’t anything to be afraid of”. As we went further ahead we saw a building, which we entered. We saw a bunch of men and women joining our line, and to my surprise, daddy, mommy, and Aaron were all joining my line. We were reunited as we stepped ahead into a room with tile and towels. We all took our clothed showers and were each issued a building. Jamie and Ellie had one building, mom and I were in another and dad, Aaron, and Aaron’s dad were in another, right next to ours. We had been fortunate, I know that some families were separated from each other. I don’t know what I would do with out them. Is it fate, or is it luck? Sasha Dear Diary, September 27, 1941 This isn’t a camp. There is only one four-letter word that can describe this place, and camp is not it. It’s H-E-L-L. Everyday we are forced to go out and work in a factory, and they don’t feed us. Jamie and Ellie are always asking me for more food, and it breaks my heart because I don’t have anything to give them. Aaron said that he and dad have been working tirelessly in a factory too. How could people do this to other humans? It’s a mystery to me. I have seen men and women who are walking around, but look like they belong six feet under. They are nothing but: skin, bones and misery. I look at them, and I know that if I stay here from much longer I shall look the same, and act the same, for my enthusiasm and love of life will be gone. The S.S men have prohibited writing, so I don’t know how much more I can write. I better not take the chance. The last this I want is trouble. I will try to write to you as often as I can. I think that happiness is prohibited here too, Sasha Dear Diary, September 28, 1941 The longer I stay here, the more I see the cruelty and horrors around me. This world is full of horror. There is death, there is famine, there is poverty, and there is war. Why must we corrupt the earth? It must be us, because it cannot be the deer, which leap in the woods, it cannot be the birds, which fly in the sky, and it cannot be the fish, which swim in the sea. The land we walk on has been corrupted, only because we walk on it. We made war, which came from little more than arguments. We caused famines, with not only our blockades, but from running the land dry with our abusive farming. We created poverty, with our greed and hoarding, gaining money and sealing it away for ourselves, when a man maybe dying somewhere of hunger, but doesn’t care because he is worried about his family starving, his wife, his little boy, and little girl. We did not cause death, but we provoke it. We throw grenades at it, we shoot at it with machine guns, we have even dropped bombs on death, and he has retaliated, killing all men, women, and children who come in contact with these weapons of ours. These men are not evil, they have been corrupted, just like this world in which we live, and I don’t think that they will ever be what they once were. Corruption cannot be weeded out, Sasha Dear Diary, September 29, 1941 My sister has changed. I can see it. It’s in every step she takes, and every time she blinks. Even her smile has changed. I think that as she has been exploring she was the crematory. That smoke that I wrote about earlier is from them. They are giant furnaces that… that… that men burn the Jews who aren’t healthy enough to work. She is changed, I think that just the sight of the fire, and the old and weak Jews entering into the “fire room” told her everything she needed to figure out what was happening. Her innocence was thrown in the fire with the sick, the weak and the old. She is older, mentally, she looks after Ellie, who I think didn’t see the crematory. She isn’t the old one who has changed. Aaron, mom and dad have been steadily changing as well. Mom hardly ever smiles, and when she does it is because Jamie is looking. Dad cant sit down, he is constantly worrying and pacing, and Aaron? My Aaron has changed too. He seems more withdrawn. He wont even talk to me during our mealtime, he just holds my hand under the table and stares at his food. He never eats, and I think I know why. Aaron hasn’t seen his mother or father in two days. I think he and I both know what happened to them, but I try to tell him that they are okay. He doesn’t believe me, but I don’t even believe myself. I do hope it is true. I hope they are okay. I know they have changed, and I can feel myself changing. I don’t know much about how I am now, and I can scarcely remember who I used to be. Jamie and I were talking during our meal and she said that the nice officer, I don’t know which one he is, I haven’t met any nice officers, told them that they are taking a special shower tomorrow. She thinks that it will be candy flavored water, but I think that these S.S guards are up to something. I don’t, and won’t trust them. Have I been corrupted too? Sasha Dear Diary, September 30, 1941 My family has fallen apart. Jamie’s shower was a gas room. They suffocated the most loving and sweet girl in the world, because she was Jewish. Ellie also took a shower. They are gone, we saw their bodies go into the crematory. Mother, father and I cried. We cried and cried, until no more tears would come. Mom sat with her head in the hands, then, suddenly, he head jerked up, her face was ferocious, and she looked like she was going to kill some one. She looked over at a man who was smiling at a bunch of children. She rose, and approached him, and when he looked up she attacked him. “YOU MURDERED MY DAUGHTER” she screamed between scratches and punches. The children were crying, and obviously scared of mom. Five S.S. men came over to my mom beating her, and as I sat in horror, watching this nightmare unfold, father sprinted across the room and tried to same mom. A S.S man shot him before he could even reach her. He collapsed onto the floor at the same time as my mother, two pools of blood formed between them, and met half way. Mom’s lifeless hand was on dad’s hand, they were together, which is all they ever hoped for. That little minute, that tiny instant in time left me alone. I was sitting at the table, tears racing down my face, looking at my mother and father, seeing the blood dripping from their wounds, and I realized… I had lost ever thing that was important to me. I had lost Jamie, and now I had lost my mom and dad. Just as I was about to harass a guard so that he would shoot me, I felt an arm wrap around me and pull me towards a body. It was Aaron. He hugged me and told me exactly what I needed to hear: “you still have me” he whispered. I hadn’t lost everything. I lost my world, and my sun, but my moon was close at hand, revolving around me and making me feel like I still might have an earth and a sun. I love Aaron, but he isn’t the same as having a family. I have no family, I have a boyfriend, but everything I have ever known has died today, and no matter how much I love Aaron, nothing can make me feel better. All the love in the world couldn’t assuage this tsunami of sorrow that has crashed on me. I will never be the same, and I don’t think that this can ever be looked at in a positive way. Life is the most fragile of God’s gifts, second is happiness, Sasha Dear Diary, October 2, 1941 I dreamt again, I have done nothing but sleep in the camp’s clinic for the past three days, nothing but sleeping and dreaming. Mom, Jamie, Dad, Sammy, and Rachelle were all angels, and all flew to earth where I lay on the ground blankly staring into the sky. They made a circle around me, and sat down with me in the grass. I sat up and looked at them. Every one of their faces was perfect, mom had no bruises and was giggling to herself, as she used to do. Dad looked serine and was holing mom’s hand. Jamie’s smile was back, and was sparkling as she looked up at me with an adoring expression. They all came around me and told me that they were fine, and not to worry about them, because they said I should be worrying about myself. I was in danger they said. They told me they would always be with me, and that Aaron was still by my side. They said I would never be alone. As they told me how much they love me they ascended into the heavens. The floated up so high I could barley see them, and then Jamie flew back down. She kissed my check and gave me a hug and the one thing she knew I wanted: a smile. She told me that she loved me and raced to catch up to the ring of angels that were flying back to where they belonged. As I lost sight of them I awoke, and I realized that I was smiling. I told the doctor that I was feeling much better, and though I am sure he didn’t believe me, but he let me go anyway. As I got out of the clinic I saw Aaron. He rushed up to me and hugged me. He lifted me off the ground and turned in a circle. He asked me if I was okay, and I told him that I have never been better. As I explained my dream to him he started to smile, and a tear made its way down his face. He said “if anyone deserved guardian angels it is you” and he kissed me. It was the end of the day so I went back to my bunkhouse and admired my new most precious possession. My bracelet that Jamie had made me. This plastic is more precious than diamonds, Sasha Dear Diary, November 27, 1941 At least 1500 new men and women came to Auschwitz today. The camp is so over crowded that there aren’t enough beds, and not enough food. On top of that the guards have asked for a meeting of all the Jews who have been here a moth or more. They told us to bring nothing with us, but there is no way I am leaving: you, my bracelet or my ring. I am taking you under my clothes. I will tell you what is going on when I get the next chance. I don’t think that they are going to hand out candy, Sasha Dear Diary, Later that Day I am sitting next to Aaron, barley grasping consciousness in the two feet thick snow, some where in the rural part of Germany. How did I get here? I’ll tell you everything. The S.S guards met us in this great open space and told us that we were going to be moved, due to the overpopulation, to another camp. They told us not to try to escape, and not to fall behind, or they would shoot us. We prepared to run, Aaron and I. We found a place together near the middle of the pack. The gates opened, and we began to run. It was easy for us at first, but it grew harder with every step to keep moving. Our lungs were burning, despite the cold air. Our legs felt like gelatin, we wobbled and shifted, it was hard to even stay conscious, Aaron actually fell asleep running once, until he was pushed by the runner behind him. We were beyond the point of exhaustion. People were falling behind left and right. They were shot as soon as they left the cluster of runners. This feeling we had, it wasn’t exhaustion…we were closer to death. That’s when it hit me. That was their point. That’s what this was. There was no camp at the other end of this run. We had gone more than fifty miles and there were countless more ahead. Literally countless. They were going to run us until the last Jew fell. I told Aaron What I had figured out. He said that he was not going to die at the hand of Nazis. He fell toward the back of the group. I followed, and once I returned at his side he told me his plan. We were going to fall and cover ourselves in the snow as soon as we hit the ground, that way the S.S men wouldn’t see us and we could control when we died. I didn’t like the idea. We would probably get shot any way, but it was better than any other fate that these men had in store for us. “On three” he whispered, “One… Two… Three!”. We hit the ground and covered ourselves. Within minutes the sound of the great stamped had vanished. I uncovered myself, and looked around. They were far out of sight. “Aaron?” I called “Aaron are you here? Are you okay?”. “I’m right here” he replied. I saw a mound of snow appear and fall to uncover my Aaron. “AARON!” I cried happily “it worked!”. He splayed out his legs and I moved into his lap and leaned against his chest. He put his arms around me. “So…” he said “when do you want to…you know…”. “Die? ” I finished his sentence “I am taking off this jacket now”. I took off my jacket, leaving me in my pants and a tank top. He followed my example. “We can lay down when we are ready, but I want to write in your gift” I explained. “Did you really bring that with you?” “Of course! I wasn’t going to leave it there for those Nazis, that’s for sure.” I took you out from hiding, opened your secret compartment and slipped on Aaron’s ring. He smiled gleefully at the sight of it. So here we are… in the middle of nowhere, and we are planning our death. Maybe this isn’t what my guardian angels wanted for me, but this is what I chose. I chose to choose. Those S.S men are far away, and it is just Aaron and I. I feel more at home right now than I have since I left with my one bag from our cozy little town. I have made a new home, and with Aaron, I suppose I have made a new family. It’s just too bad that I am not going to have too much more time to enjoy this bliss. Who thought that dieing could bring happiness? I guess that when life is hell, it makes anything else seem like relief. Even death. So I sit here, ready whenever Aaron is. Awaiting our death. But it isn’t a lamenting kind of waiting. It’s an anxious one. We can finally get relief from this “life” where we have been treated like vermin, and trapped and poisoned and executed as such. We won’t ever get a second chance, but we did get to see what many will never see: true sufferance. While that might not be something to brag about, it gave me a level of perception the a normal sixteen-year-old would have, that isn’t worth what I lost, but it at least gave some and didn’t just take. I hated this life, but I didn’t hate one person who I came in contact with. How could I? I have been hated, and since I know how awful it feels to be discriminated against why would I do that to anyone else. Love is the best weapon against hate, and I just hope that others might learn and spread this lesson in my stead. I have five guardian angels waiting for me, I can see them they are at the end of a tunnel, there’s a light behind them. I have to go.. I want to go... It’s my time. I can see Jamie’s smile at the end of this tunnel, oh how i missed her smile. LeChaim, To Life, Sasha |
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| Ben Zwycky | Jan 25 2008, 06:37 PM Post #2 |
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Fearsome Fleet Leader :D
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Great work, capturing the events and emotions very well from the right perspective, very minor typos. You posted it twice so I deleted the 'older' version. |
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| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 25 2008, 08:41 PM Post #3 |
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I appreciate that you deleted the other one, i couldn't see how i could do it myself and in regards to my story thanks! it was a lot of fun to write |
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| DayDreamer | Jan 26 2008, 08:36 PM Post #4 |
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yeah i love jonas brothers..got a problem
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Oh my goodness..........that was so sad, and wow! I really shouldn't read things about the holocaust, or that even tie into the holocaust, it makes me soo sad, and I just can't believe that people could be that cruel. You did an amazing job...i really don't know what else to say, but that you are amazing! |
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| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 26 2008, 09:37 PM Post #5 |
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Thank you so much! i totally agree it hurts to read it hurt more to write I'm really... sappy and as stupid as this might sound i was crying when i wrote parts of it partS (more than one) i wrote so much about it mainly because the Holocaust really stuck a cord with me because a. I'm a jew b. I'm really too empathetic for my own good and i think every sad story of devotion, death, and suffering have to be written, it's only right to anyone who might have been through something even remotely similar |
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| DayDreamer | Jan 26 2008, 09:57 PM Post #6 |
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yeah i love jonas brothers..got a problem
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The fact that you cried while writing it just makes it that much better, if you can make yourself cry, and you know whats going to happen in the story...Just imagine what the other people are going to feel..i almost cried, but i managed to control it, that would just be weird if my step dad woke up and i was randomly crying at the computer...this has fueled me to read more of your stuf..WHOOOOOP |
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| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 27 2008, 04:13 AM Post #7 |
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yeah, i was bawling when i killed the parents and when she had the dream and her loved ones left my dad saw me it was really weird he was like i don't even want to know |
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| Ben Zwycky | Jan 27 2008, 06:01 PM Post #8 |
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Fearsome Fleet Leader :D
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If you could write a story about the holocaust from the Jewish perspective and not cry, then there would be something seriously wrong with you. Well done on persevering with it through to the end. |
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| CalmB4TheStorm | Jan 27 2008, 06:41 PM Post #9 |
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very true and thank you |
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9:01 AM Jul 11