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| Untitled; old story, revived.. :D no title yet. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 1 2008, 03:48 PM (153 Views) | |
| Jaeh_Is_Awesome | Feb 1 2008, 03:48 PM Post #1 |
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Rogue Squadron Fan
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One of my old stories I found in the old WD.. kinda reviving it... re-read it, actually thought it wasn't that bad... a bit cliched, but not that bad... well.. I think... post your thoughts and all.. and it's a rip-off from just about every psychic-thing story you'll ever read... ----- Man, I'm late.... Oh no, i think i left the iron on... That does it, I'm going to break our relationship! He does his cousin's wife? haven't i heard that before... I covered my ears. Too... many.. people! "GAH!" The world is spinning, and my head hurts. I gotta get outta here! I ran out the subway, heads into a secluded alley, and sits beside the road. Everything finally kept quiet. You see, I can hear other people's thoughts. I'm not crazy or anything, coz its true. I still can't control it that's when i'm in crowded places, well, like what happened a few minutes before... So, welcome to my world. My dad's a Lawyer, and mom's a doctor. Me, I am an escapist from the mental hospital, literally. A doctor there, specifically Doctor Steven Scholl, let me go. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, especially when I first received my blessing, or is it my curse. It started at my camp. * * * * * * * It’s a summer camp actually, and the coordinator is announcing the boring stuff, like the rules, how glad they are that we came, blah blah blah… I was focusing on my book; of course I’m reading it. Well, my friend here decided we sneak out. I was so bored, so I decided to follow. It was successful, and we ended up celebrating in the snack shop. Funny, our usual vendor wasn’t there. Someone else was running the shop, and we just ignored the fact that we’ve never seen him around before, of all the years we’ve been going to this camp. So what? Maybe he’s just new, we thought. I shrugged the uneasy feeling off. “That was a success!” We clicked soda bottles, and drank a bit. “The stuff tastes funny Alex.” I complained. I guess I just felt dizzy afterwards. Ok, so I woke up in the cabin. Big deal. But when I did, all I could hear, are tons of voices. I cautiously opened my eyes, and everyone’s just staring at me. I still hear the voices. I noted, wait a sec, no one is talking! I was so freaked out. I just stared blankly at nothing. I began shouting for every voice to stop. But, it seems that its all recorded in my head. Well, it just didn’t stop, and I was a statue for the following days. That’s when they brought me over to the ‘Mental Institution’, or to be frank, a mental hospital that just looked like a white prison. To make the long story short, they listed me as crazy, and they all left me there. I struggled with the voices in my head. I was about like that for 2 years, when Steven Scholl put a stop to all those annoying voices. He focused my brain on other things, and I could control the darn telepathic mind of mine a little better. I was sent to the police. Why? Dr. Steve said I could help them in some cases. But me, a 15-yr-old, help in police cases? Impossible! Wow, I’ve never heard that before. But, I can’t object. Dr. Steve is the only person I’m left with. My family has deserted me, refusing to admit they have a psychotic daughter. For the record, I’m not psychotic, but it seems to me that my world is sinking lower and lower into a non-existent world. Well, I can’t do anything. This is my only chance to live. With Dr. Scholl as my guidance, I was introduced into crime scenes. ~~~~~~~~ Kelly walked in the office. It was very, untidy, except for a small spot in the middle of a big brown desk. The secretary told her to sit back and relax for a while, and she’ll be back with a sandwich or something. “No thanks.” The secretary nodded and left the room. Kelly had a look around. Books lined the room, and an antique carpet lined the floor. She examined the bookshelf, and picked a red big hardback. Kelly opened it up, and a cloud of dust exploded. Kelly coughed. “Oh great.” She thought. “This’ll definitely look good on my résumé.” Then the door opened. The guy who walked in looked surprised at first, but kept his composure. He was afraid to ask what happened for a second. The man breathed deeply, and asked what’s going on. Kelly looked at him. She didn’t hear whatever he said at first. But, she read whatever the guy was thinking. “What in the world happened! Heck, my office is ruined!” “Yeah, as if it was neat enough before…” Kelly quipped silently. The man looked at her, as if the goal was to melt Kelly. “What in this world is going on?” “Sorry sir.” Kelly stood up straight, forcing herself not to look down to the ground. “I was just-” “Just don’t say another word.” The guy said. Yeah don’t try, or else I’ll kick your butt outta here. Kelly was surprised at that thought she heard. “Excuse me?!” She snapped. The guy looked at her hard, as if trying to comprehend why she said that. Apparently, Steve Scholl, Kelly’s doctor, forgot to notify him that she can read people’s minds. “Sorry sir. That was nothing.” The man straightened himself up again. “Uh, ok. Let’s um, begin. Kelly Clint, you are called here for-“ I hate doing this introduction parts… But we’re talking but procedures… The hell with the procedures… “-the invest-“ Kelly laughed at what she heard. “Mr. Grant, you may go straight to your point.” The man coughed. “As I was saying, Ms. Clint,-“ “And you can please just call me Kelly sir.” Mr. Grant pulled his glasses down to his nose and looked at Kelly curiously. “Ok, um, Kelly… Well, you and Mr. Tyers have been partners for about a month now, and we only give you light assignments. Maybe you need a,” A dramatic pause. “bigger responsibility…” Was that necessary, Kelly thought. I could read the whole thing straight outta his mind… Oh well… “Mr. Grant, what do you have in mind?” “Well, we have a pretty nice case for you two, and we think you both might be able to handle it.” Kelly shrugged. “Ok, I guess…” Sheesh, for a new director of sorts, he’s not that bad… “2 Children have been missing. For some reason, we think that the two incidents are both connected to each other, and they have been missing since Friday.” Kelly nodded. Hmm… since Friday… today’s Monday, so that’s about, 4 days… “Sir, Are there any witnesses?” Mr. Grant nodded. “They’re just kids. But, I think they can help, even a little bit.” He handed Kelly a folder. Good Luck with that… at least I wish you would have a lead somehow… I’m tired of trying to find missing children. Kelly shook her head at Grant’s thought. I guess, its all up to us. She was dismissed, and she headed to her car. ~~~~~~~ Scott sneezed. “Darn cold…” He said, and he stood up from his bed to get a glass of water when someone knocked at his door. “Who are you? Go away…” Scott said. “I’m sick ok?” Kelly opened the door laughing. She has a key. “You sound much awful than yesterday. I brought some chicken soup.” Scott smiled. “Thanks Kel. So, did Grant give us something new?” Kelly sat on the sofa and examined Scott. Brown hair, blue green eyes, and a perfect nose. Hey, he looks good, even if he’s in his pajamas. She laughed quietly to herself. “Hey Kelly?” Kelly faced Scott’s direction. “Yeah, two missing children. He even said it was a ‘bigger responsibility’ for us. I think he just passed it to us so the file would be outta his hands.” Scott shook his head. He proceeded to put a good serving of soup in a bowl and started slurping some up. “You know, I think we could start on this case right now. I’m feeling much better already, well, after I take a shower.” “Yeah Scott, but that’s not what your mind says. You need a little nap, and maybe you’ll start tomorrow… I’ll ask around about the children, and their parents.” Kelly said. Scott raised a brow. “Hey, its not fair digging into my mind you know…” Kelly laughed. “Sorry, I can’t help it. You know perfectly well that I’m not in control of this... ability, of mine.” Scott just scowled. Kelly had a grin on her face. “I’m even too young to be on this job, but I’m kinda getting the hang of it.” Scott started to fill his bowl again. “And by the way, Grant has no idea that I have these... abilities.” Scott looked at her curiously. “Really? Didn’t Steve told him?” “I guess not…” Kelly shrugged. “He’s new right? I guess not. Preferably, I think I’d want him not to know. I’m gonna tell Steve bout that.” Scott shrugged. “I’m gonna take a shower. I think I’m going to come with you whether you like it or not.” Kelly pouted. She doesn’t want to bring Scott with her, because she knows he needs rest. She probed a little bit in Scott’s mind, and found out he’s smirking at her. She just shook her head, and waited for the guy to finish. ------- STILL NEEDS EDITING, STILL NEEDS EDITING. STILL NEEDS EDITING. |
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| la-vida-loca | Feb 3 2008, 02:54 PM Post #2 |
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Sometimes I think I was born backwards...
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does need editing.
mostly typos and a few grammatical, but who cares bout grammar? lol. anyway. nice start, Jaeh, can't wait to see where this is going!
haha, i like this line.
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9:01 AM Jul 11